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A Darkness Lies behind Us by Bodkin	57 Review(s)
Redheredh	Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/4/2006
Of course, you know that the thing I must remark upon first is Este's annunciation of Indis' mission. Very nice marking a starting place for the future care of all those - with family and without - waiting in Mandos. The thought that the Valar cannot quite understand enough to handle it themselves sounds so reasonable the way you explain it. And you show why, not only with Finrod but with Finarfin etc, time is needed to come back to life. The way an elf must reintegrate both hroa and fea and face the past before going on to his future. Cool using the greatly deserving Finrod as the first returnee. Although, you have waited until after the War where I loose the first returnee before that. Who could be a better example and promise for other eldar hoping to see their loved ones again? Or reconciling to that unlikely-hood, considering past acts. Ah, romance! I am so grateful you convince us to enjoy seeing Amarie and Finrod together rather than get all angsty over their reunion. And you still take time for a gratuitous reference to Celeborn! :) It is my opinion that Finarfin tried his absolute darnest to get Galadriel to sail home. Perhaps, even indulging in a little deception to accomplish that. I like the ambiguity you lend to her staying behind until her role was played out. Just like Tolkien. Lastly, the need for forgiveness and penance for one's mistakes. I really like your examination of that in regards to Finrod's personality. He is a good and responsible prince; someone who would want to set things right between himself and those who trusted his decisions. A creative and educative chapter. And if this is to help set up what comes next, your readers are ready for it. So, please bring it! Author Reply: Indis seemed just such a good person to take up this kind of mission (quest ... thingy) - since Finwe will doubtless remain with Feanor until the end of time. (Pointlessly, too. I don't think Feanor has any idea how disruptive he is to the rest of his family. Even in death. And then there's Miriel ... Poor Indis.) I do think returning to life must be harder than first thought would have it. Logic suggests that the first returnees must have predated Finrod - elves were being lost right from the start - but Finrod's return is sort of stressed. And it is convenient! Then there's why some come back and others don't and what holds some back ... Finrod's sacrifice - in the interests of the Big Plan for Beren and Luthien - might well make him a good candidate. But it will be hard beyond the shelter of the Gardens. Not everybody will be glad to see the return of an Exile - one associated with the Kinslayers, if not one himself. Finarfin would have wanted his daughter to come home. His last living child - how could he not? But I think he would have recognised the bond between her and Celeborn ... and accepted the inevitable rather than parting from her in anger. H'mm - the next chapter. This is, I am afraid, moving rather slowly. Too much work at the moment and the story isn't being that demanding. Anything to stir the desire to write on welcomed!

Inglor	Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/4/2006
wow... One (amoung many) thing that I enjoy about this is your description of Finrod's reactions. ("Bathing in her laughter" is a line I hope you don't mind if I use one day). Your descriptions are so precise, I feel them myself. And all the subtle and not so subtle hints about what is to come. Sometimes I forget this is fanfic. Wow. That sums it up nicely. Author Reply: Thank you so much - sorry to be so long in responding! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and I'm very flattered that you sometimes forget it's fanfic. But I might need to go back and check what I've been hinting - I've had so much on the last few weeks that I've sort of lost track! Feel free to use whatever you want! It's one of the joys of playing in the same world.

French Pony	Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/3/2006
I like the idea that everyone is making it up as they go along. If Finrod has to learn how to deal with sensation in an adult body with an adult consciousness for the first time, no one else seems to have much more of a clue. Even the Valar, which is the most interesting part of all. I've always suspected that the Valar lacked a certain creativity that would allow them to deal with the situations that Men and Elves came up with, which makes for a wild and occasionally frightening ride when you realize that, occasionlly, no one is really in charge in Arda. Author Reply: The Valar are good at the big picture ... maybe ... but I think they might find it much harder to deal with smaller things - like individuals, and emotions, and ... and things they can't control. Bemused, perhaps. Well-meaning, though. A bit like parents suddenly presented with gigatuplets. It does sound as if Finrod might have been their first cautious attempt to reunite fea and hroa - and I suspect they would have been learning as they go. And probably making up the rules according to his response - which would, of course, have created amazing difficulties when their next trial proved to be entirely different. I think Finrod might have vacillated a bit between mature responses and occasional reversion to extreme youth. He might well find that getting away from too much careful inspection will do him a power of good. I hope so, anyway!

daw the minstrel	Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/3/2006
Adjusting to a body, learning what he missed, all kinds of things to do. I was interested in his satisfaction in being with his father, a masculine presence, which seems necessary to bring him to manhood again. Lovely details, as always, Bodkin. They ground even the most abstract discussions. Author Reply: It must be tough to return to life - you must be part-way between being a child in a world that's slightly beyond your grasp and an adult trying to keep your head above rising water. Finrod needs his father, I think. And Finarfin needs Finrod. I think between them they might hammer out some solutions - in a very masculine, grunted, non-verbal kind of way. It's surprising - to me! - how they start by admiring the light on the leaves and end up by talking about Alqualonde. Or feeling somewhat sensual and conversing about why some return and others choose not to. The whole story got somewhat sidetracked by the desire to write about Boromir. And then Isildur. But Finrod is patient - and he was in Amarie's arms at the time, so he didn't object to the delay!

perelleth	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/7/2006
Good to see Finrod back again! As always I like the the atemporal feeling, and the way you choose to develop the story through short scenes. Amarië comes out as a delightful and resilient character. It is interesting to think that bounded couples would be able to feel each other across the sea...if even half bonded ones could. Although I am not sure whether it would make it better or worse... When you are ready, everyone will know. You will sweep us all along in your wake, my lord, and have us all doing your will. Now that's a good description of him, I think. At least I like it very much! Author Reply: I think - sort of - that returning to Irmo's gardens must have had a very timeless feel to it. Maybe of everything happening at the same time on different planes. Time must seem different, too, in the BR - where there is so much of it and so few things are affected by it. Amarie is soft and gentle but she has an endurance about her - Finrod would, I think, have refused to take her with him. I think he is protective ... but, at the same time, he consented to Artanis coming along. Different sort of elleth. Maybe, too, there might have been elements of foresight there and fate involved. Finrod and Amarie were not physically bonded, but I think they were emotionally - and maybe the bond would have been enough for them to touch on the dream path. Enough for Amarie to know when it was sundered. I think it would be worse in a way than being completely separated - offering hope and despair and never allowing wounds to heal properly ... Curious, enthusiastic, honourable, honest, loving, generous - I think Finrod contained many of the best qualities of the elves. Charismatic, too. And convincing. Amarie knows him and accepts him as he is - probably exactly what he needs right now.

meckinock	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/2/2006
Whoa, Bodkin - what a powerful symphony of images and sensations you execute. From heartfelt, gentle caresses to this - And searing into her was the echo of pain, pain indescribable, pain that clawed and chewed and ripped, stealing blood and breath and rending… A sound like a dog tearing its prey apart, hot breath on cold skin, the shredding of muscle, the wrenching of bone from bone and the stench of spilled blood and worse… A phantom touch, a ghostly breeze brushed against her cheek, a sensation of sorrow, of apology – and he was gone. Yowza. That has got to be one of the most gut-wrenching passages I've ever read. But with such a heartwarming reunion to follow, I suppose it was worth it for them in the end. What a beautifully written story. Author Reply: When I was reading back over Finroddy parts of the Sil, I couldn't help focusing on his death and thinking how absolutely horrific it was. And how nice Finrod was in comparison to the sons of Feanor. (Especially the C-sons.) Thank you - I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Inglor	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/2/2006
Being a devourer of all things Finrod, opening my email and seeing this in my box was like finding the Daisy Red Rider BB gun on Christmas morning. As much as I have liked the glimpses of Finrod in your other stories, I am now hooked by Amarie. Though I'm not surprised, you do have a knack for writing female characters that have a subtle gravity that a reader can't escape. All your female characters are admirable. Simply can not wait for more of this and will do anything to feed the muse. Author Reply: I'm glad you liked it! And I do like building up female characters to be more than wallpaper. Amarie is (I think) part of what makes Finrod such an admirable character. As are Earwen and Indis! (And the absence of Miriel is possibly a large element of what made Feanor such an unbalanced elf.) You are feeding the muse! (Although said muse isn't all that hungry at the moment - or rather, I've been rather too busy to spend as much time as I would like encouraging it!) There will be more. Soon-ish.

Redheredh	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/2/2006
Just like with Arwen's story, I think you are going to reveal something about Amarie that was never understood or hitherto unknowable. What more can I say? I love your writing and your insight into the nature of elves. Amarie's connection is a miraculous thing when one thinks about it. How events around Finrod's death seemed* to proceed, I will chalk up to her very distant connection with him...* Her seeking out Indis was a brilliant note nicely echoed in Finrod seeking out her. Finrod's return was really well done. Not just the myriad discussions, but how Finarfin and Earwen were summoned and their anxious reactions. His worry that his mother was following in Miriel's footsteps was another brilliant note - that illumnated the next paragraph about how two "could endure what would have broken one alone". Personal hurts had not overwhelmed any of them, but were not forgotten as if they had never happened either. I found Finfarfin's worried questions about being reborn very interesting and familiar. ;) But, Finrod and Amarie's reunion was so utterly romatic - and I mean that in the absolute best sense of the word. It was thrilling and touching and sweet and real. As real as elves should and can be real. Amarie's gentle feminine humility is endearing. Exactly what would have made Finrod love her and leave her safely behind when he went into the known dangers of Endor. He's gonna make up for that good, I hope. Author Reply: I think Finrod will do his best to make up for his dereliction! But Amarie will not try to make him change - I think she is too aware of how his need to wander and his honesty and his frank curiosity about the world are qualities that make Finrod who he is. And she likes him how he is! A connection - however tenuous - is such a useful thing! Amarie and Finrod are committed to each other, I think, even without the formality of bonding - and it doesn't seem impossible that their dream paths should inter-connect to a degree, while intense experiences could perhaps leave an echo in the other. I do think she would seek Indis - while Anaire, probably, as a wife and mother, would perhaps have someone who would seek comfort from her rather than the other way round... Rambling. Not the time to think of other abandoned ellyth. There are times when elven memory cannot be a blessing - Finarfin must have been emotionally strong to support the cares that piled on him, and that suggests strong bonds with those left. Earwen, certainly - but I think Indis must have been a good mother. And that her son's need probably held her more firmly to life than he realised. And musing on death and rebirth and new lives and past experiences. Well - yes! Am I getting repetitive? Author Reply: I think Finrod will do his best to make up for his dereliction! But Amarie will not try to make him change - I think she is too aware of how his need to wander and his honesty and his frank curiosity about the world are qualities that make Finrod who he is. And she likes him how he is! A connection - however tenuous - is such a useful thing! Amarie and Finrod are committed to each other, I think, even without the formality of bonding - and it doesn't seem impossible that their dream paths should inter-connect to a degree, while intense experiences could perhaps leave an echo in the other. I do think she would seek Indis - while Anaire, probably, as a wife and mother, would perhaps have someone who would seek comfort from her rather than the other way round... Rambling. Not the time to think of other abandoned ellyth. There are times when elven memory cannot be a blessing - Finarfin must have been emotionally strong to support the cares that piled on him, and that suggests strong bonds with those left. Earwen, certainly - but I think Indis must have been a good mother. And that her son's need probably held her more firmly to life than he realised. And musing on death and rebirth and new lives and past experiences. Well - yes! Am I getting repetitive? Author Reply: Clearly I am getting repetitive. It pretended it hadn't posted the answer. And then it did it twice!

Kitty	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/2/2006
Nice to have a story about this part of the family for a change. It will be interesting to watch Finrod readjusting to his old life in Valinor and dealing with what little of his family remains, how he is able to cope with his experiences in Middle-earth. How sad that Finwe chose his first family in spite of all their faults instead of the second, who deserved his love and care much more. It is difficult to understand. I am glad Amarie was there for Finrod. Even more than his parents, he needs her to adjust to nis new life, I believe, and am glad she is there for him. Author Reply: Thank you, Kitty. Sometimes it is those who appear neediest who attract the attention. I suspect Feanor was always expert at pressing all the buttons that made Finwe feel guilty. And Feanor's mother can't have been the most rational of ellyth - refusing to live despite all the encouragement she received does make you wonder a bit about the genes she passed on to her son. Indis, on the other hand, probably remained strong and coped with all that was thrown at her - and Finwe decided she was more than capable of supporting his other two sons through their trials. (Not the first male to be short-sighted in that way!) It won't be an easy adjustment for Finrod, I think. Especially as it sounds as if he is fairly experimental. Those in charge of the service will get better with practice. Very good thing Amarie is there - Finrod needs someone who has faith in him as an adult and doesn't want to cosset him. (Well, not in the same way, anyway.)

French Pony	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2006
Fascinating beginning. Love, death, rebirth, second chances. . . there is so much to explore and think about, but perhaps too much for me to contemplate today, what with the funeral and Yom Kippur beginning tonight. But I will definitely be following this. Author Reply: Thank you, FP. The second chance thing is perhaps one of the attractions of the idea of elves returning to their kin. Although it is also a very great complication - it cannot be easy to be returned to the home of your innocence when you contain the memory of so much else. Bringing together all the experience within your head and blending yourself back to wholeness - hard. Very hard.

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