Reviews (1,161)

Calenlass · 13 April 2007 · Chapter 77: Trial's Ending

A most interesting trial. :-) I should say I'm satisfied with the results of it. ~Calenlass

Edlyn · 13 April 2007 · Chapter 21: Netilmírë

Mae Govannen, meldonya! I hope you had a good week. Today it is still colder than usual for April but the sun is out at last. Of course, tomorrow it will be wet and cloudy and and even snowing because I'm supposed to move furniture to my apartment from the old house. There's a rule somewhere that says the weather has to be bad on a moving day, I think. So in the meantime, here's my review of of Chapter 21: I think that Sador was a bit surprised to be told that by rights he should be a master but also very relieved that she was going to treat him like a new apprentice. He's still pretty diffident and unsure and by going through the "steps" any other apprentice would go through, he'll end up much more comfortable and secure in the working of his craft. Besides it must be a relief to be treated normally in this at least, because there's really nothing normal about his life at this point, whether its the level of society that he is living in or his status as a Reborn. Netilmirë's reaction to Sador's mentioning his age at the time of his death is not only a reminder that death is NOT a natural state of the firstborn, but that the mindset that allows things such as Kinslaying was not intended to be a part of their make-up either (or of Men's for that matter--thanks a LOT, Melkor!--please note bitter sarcasm). Yes, Sador's had a long time to get used to the idea and what a blessing that is. I find it telling that Sador seems to have no resentment about the fact that his life was cut off in such an untimely fashion (unlike Glorfindel, in my opinion, who's resentment about the fact that he was killed still seems to subconsciously direct some of his actions and less thought out comments to Lord Námo even after all his years in Mandos). When Olórin suggests that they have some tea, I kept hearing his words in Sir Ian McKellan's wonderful voice (I was watching his "Richard III" last night; that voice should be illegal, particularly the way he uses it to have Richard seduce Anne in the morgue. THAT was an UTTERLY creepy scene.) Olórin is indeed very good at what he does. I wish some of the therapists I've had to deal with in my life would have had his competency and kindness. And Olórin IS kind, even when he is being stern. I was tickled by Netilmirë's thought that she wouldn't mind losing to this particular Maia and her giggling like an elleth with her first crush. Actually, this scene did more to create a visual image of Olórin in my mind than in any other. Sometimes the fact that we know he was embodied in Middle Earth as an old man tends to colour our ideas of what he looks like in Aman; even if it isn't really sensible, given that at this point in time, he hasn't gone to Middle Earth yet. I think that Netilmirë's anger and frustration in this scene is a good sign. She seems to have kept her feelings bottled up inside for a very long time, except for those feelings that helped her play her persona of the sharp, not to be messed with Master Potter. She's been locked inside herself such a long time, with all the hurt and sorrow and it's been eating her alive. I suppose she's been spiritually and emotionally fading all these centuries and only sheer stubborness has kept it from becoming a physical fading. The trouble with locking herself in however, is that she's locked everything and everyone else out, including Eru and the Valar. Sadly, this isn't an uncommon thing, particularly among Men. That we aren't owed explanations by God, but are occasionally gifted with one (whether by inspiration, intuition or finding a passage in a holy book that is pertinent to whatever problem we are facing) is another parallel between Netilmirë's situation and our own lives. When Olórin points out that one reason (but not necessarily the only reason) that Voronwë had not yet been released from Mandos was her anger and and bitterness, I felt such a wrench in my heart. I don't think that Netilmirë truly believes that was her fault that her husband died, but she's opened herself up to emotions again and she's going from one extreme to another at the moment. Actually, she's rather like a lot of the Reborn in that way right now, isn't she? But the important and crucial thing is that at last she has called upon the Valar in her distress, opening the door that they've been patiently waiting on the other side of for so long. And given who (and what) she is, it's not surprising that when she thinks of the Valar her thoughts fall first on Lord Aulë and Lady Yavanna. She is beginning the process of being spiritually reborn here. The initial words that Lord Aulë has with her certainly echo Lord Námo's words to a number of his new charges, as well as the ensuing catharsis, and following comfort and eventual "tucking in" to bed for a healing sleep. It is sad to think about how long she locked herself away from the love of Eru and the Valar. Thank goodness, the door is unlocked now. It is awfully dark behind a locked door. I can imagine that a hug from Lord Aulë would be utterly delicious. There's something about being enclosed in arms that are so much stronger than your own that is absolutely comforting. For that while you can let go of being a grown up and feel like a child again. It's too bad that when we become adults those moments grow more and more rare. It is so easy to identify with your characters, meldonya. I think that is why I love this story so much. I can find bits of myself in even the less admirable characters (because of course none of us are perfect) and find it reassuring that even those characters live in the love of the Valar under Eru as I live in the love of God. May you live blessed! Edlyn

MithLuin · 12 April 2007 · Chapter 73: Reunion

Have I mentioned lately how awesome you are for updating so frequently? Well, you are :) I doubt Aldundil is to blame - there is no rule that says you have to share harsh truths with your children while they are still young. But...I am curious why he was completely unaware of his son's attitudes. At first, I thought his son was a bit of a rebel, but to have his parents be completely surprised means he wasn't showing them that face. And if he didn't get it from them....who are his friends? Decent people can have unpleasant children, but there has to be something more to it....

vampfan30 · 12 April 2007 · Chapter 73: Reunion

I knew it was one of * those * guys...... I think that I absolutely adore Sador..... Yay ! Glory is coming home !

eiluj · 11 April 2007 · Chapter 73: Reunion

Glorfindel put his arms around the ellon’s shoulders in sympathy. "I’m sorry I’ve been the cause of so much grief for you all." Elessairon gave a snort of disbelief. "Nonsense, meldonya. You’ve enjoyed every minute of it, and frankly, when all is said and done, so have we." -- When the news gets out that Glorfindel is heading back to Middle-earth, there’ll be a long list of protests to the Valar by elves who realize how bored they’re going to be in Aman without Glorfindel around. I’ve been wondering where Ingwë’s wife is; my first theory was that she’s visiting her other children; now I’ve got the possibiity too that she’s visiting Indis in Lórien. No mention of Tinwetariel in this chapter. I assume she’s either in custody or being watched. Tulcaner seems to be still on the loose. Well, doubtless he'll turn up at some point....

Kitty · 11 April 2007 · Chapter 73: Reunion

I’d hope for a bit of romance between Alassiel and Glorfindel, if I’d not know Glorfindel will eventually return to Endorë, so a relationship with her wouldn’t be wise. They seem to get along very well now. Anyway, I am glad they are all reunited. Blasphemy? Hm ... hadn’t seen Vorondil’s undeserved warrior braids this way, but Laurendil’s explanation makes sense. The elves who fought in Middle-earth must feel mocked to see this coward with warrior braids – kicking an unconscious Glorfindel is certainly no reason to be proud of. Seems it was too much to expect that nothing happened at the feast, even if this time neither Glorfindel nor Finrod or Sador caused it. As much as I can understand why Aldundil is furious, he doesn’t know his son very well if he truly thinks he is too young to cause much trouble. That was no prank, after all, but a serious crime. Laurendil and Finrod have a rather ... startling way to explain the oath that’s binding them, particularly in public ... *shakes head* If they continue in this way, others will soon be rather wary to approach them, considering this intimidating habit to hold knives at other people’s neck. Well, I suppose it was a lucky coincidence that Laurendil knew Aldundil back then; it may have helped the latter to calm down a bit. I feel a bit sorry for him; though I’m not sure how far it may be his own fault how his son turned out to be.

Kitty · 11 April 2007 · Chapter 72: Return to Vanyamar

"If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this storm exists for the sole purpose of keeping me here with you," Was that not exactly what I said before? And now that I know just *who* Yáravinyon is, I am even more convinced. As for Yáravinyon, here you fooled me completely. Even if I suspected Radagast to be a bit to obvious to be true, I’d *never* guessed it was Manwë himself. No wonder poor Glorfindel fainted! It was equally amusing and touching that first Ingwë came running down to greet Glorfindel. Very unkingly and undignified, but sweet – it shows so well how much even this King loves Glorfindel already. And I am glad Ingwë made his peace with Manwë.

eiluj · 11 April 2007 · Chapter 72: Return to Vanyamar

Yup! Manwë. Thought so when he first appeared in the blizzard. My translation was (inevitably) a bit lacking. Interesting about the change in meaning of Tom B.’s name. That I didn’t know about (I was looking at the Encyclopedia of Arda, to see if they had more than LotR, and the E of A isn’t as complete as it might be). Looking at various Quenya word lists, I found “yára” as ancient and “vinya” as young/new; I figured it became vinyon through esoteric grammatical processes which I won’t even try to explain (and probably misunderstood); had another possible reason for that “-on” also. So that gave me “Oldest of the young,” which was why I figured Glorfindel raised that eyebrow. -- but potentially appropriate for the Elder King one way or the other (younger than Ilúvatar, anyway). Looked a bit farther later, and found that “vinya” has a secondary meaning, which is “light blue,” which I took to be a reference to the sky blue which is Manwë’s color, so I was happier about the name. But it looks like you weren’t thinking of that after all. “You are not ready for what will be demanded of you when at last you are permitted to come before the Elder King on Taniquetil” -- Sigh. Want to see it now ... want the story to go on forever ... want to see it now.... I’m glad Glorfindel wasn’t upset to learn he was the Bait. Elflings get upset so easily. Got 3 or 4 of my formal predictions correct this time, Ingwë at the end of the chapter being one of them.

Calenlass · 11 April 2007 · Chapter 73: Reunion

Manwe? It was Manwe? Oh my goodness--Glorfindel really had a shock. *g* And So did I. :) ~Calenlass

Rhyselle · 11 April 2007 · Chapter 72: Return to Vanyamar

I really need to make time to study Quenya and Sindarin! You really surprised me with it being Manwe who was caring for Glorfindel! I'm getting ready to start my workday so can't leave an exhaustive review of this chapter, but I really liked it. It's left a warm feeling in my heart and I'm sure I'll be smiling all day because of it. I did like Ingwe admitting that he wouldn't let the rest of Glorfindel's friends meet him because he wanted to be the first! :) If Glorfindel ever felt as if he were alone and family-less, he's certainly having it proved wrong by the family he has been building through friendship and love since his Rebirth. I'll do a more thorough review of this and Reunion later, when I don't have a ton of work to get done. Thank you for updating so frequently, I really look forward to weekends and mid-week when the new chapters pop up.

Bodkin · 11 April 2007 · Chapter 71: Formenos

Good thing that Finarfin has released the past. It must have been hard for him - harder, probably, than for Finrod, who had the present in Endore to deal with ... before his death, that is. And it seems as if Formenos might have its uses. With the wrong-doers brought before a rather higher court than an elven one. Perhaps they'll take that seriously! When the Valar declare peace, that's what they expect!

Bodkin · 11 April 2007 · Chapter 70: Hunter and Hunted

Yes ... Sador is both young and inexperienced. The intensity of the feelings would seize hold of him. Good thing Orome was there to support him. (And he is right about the cost of the Hunt on Sador's innocence.) Handy to have him along to be able to identify the guilty and the innocent, as well! No problems with separating truth from lies. Vorondil is truly stupid, but Ingoldo is worse - he is devious and has had millennia to polish his stupidity. And he is clearly not one to learn from experience.

MithLuin · 10 April 2007 · Chapter 69: Glorfindel on Taniquetil

Yah! Glorfindel is back! FINALLY :P And he's met a hermit! How cool is that? I haven't thought of elvish hermits before, but I suppose Eol and Tuor both lived solo lives for awhile, and of course Frodo and Bilbo were ecentric bachelors, so it fits in well enough. Glad to see all the threads finally coming together.

Edlyn · 10 April 2007 · Chapter 20: Aftermath

Greetings and salutations, mellon-nin! Having caught up on my sleep after a very busy Easter weekend (the Vigil Mass Saturday night lasted 3 hours and 15 minutes and then I had to be back at church at 8:30 in the morning for the Easter Mass) I can get back to reviewing. I hope you had a good Easter. I can so sympathise with Glorfindel. His physical and mental symptoms sound like a cross between low blood sugar and too much serotonin re-uptake (conditions I am all too familiar with unfortunately, and that can to follow on from traumatic or shocking experiences). His behaviour and demeanour are so out of character (as seen by the people he interacts with, NOT in the way he is written!) that I can understand Arafinwë's exasperation. Of course, the fact that Glorfindel still has the emotional instability of an adolescent only makes the effects of the shock worse. In a way I think what he experienced after his session with Lord Námo is like a nervous breakdown. Dealing with the people of the court, having to remember protocol and manners, having to make decisions and offer advice and even to do the ordinary, mundane things that everyone has to do to get through the day are all too much for a mind that is trying to deal with a serious trauma. At first I wondered why Finrod didn't say anything to Arafinwë to give him a heads up that Glorfindel had undergone a traumatic experience but then I remembered that he is also a "teenager" even if he's been re-embodied and back in the world longer than Glorfindel, and won't necessarily do what an adult would likely do. But that doesn't mean that he can take charge of a situation as evidenced by the way he put on his King of Nargothrond hat and took charge. Given Finrod's diffidence since his return to Tirion (not asking for his favourite foods, etc.) it must have completely floored the others when he took back his authority. It's not surprising that it was his gwador's need that triggered his resumption of this very adult persona. I think Glorfindel's tears were likely caused by a combination of weariness, confusion and embarrassment, but also from relief that Finrod was taking charge of the situation when it was too much for him to deal with. I like Calandil. I can't articulate why but I do. Brrrrr. The image of Finrod with the Light of Mandos in his eyes is absolutely terrifying! I don't blame Arafinwë for being taken aback and stepping back from his son. I have to admit that it's nice to see that even though he is a King, Arafinwë is not perfect and makes mistes and says things without thinking. Remembering his own interview with Lord Námo and Lord Manwë gave him a belated understanding of what Glrofindel is feeling. I also liked the way he handled the courtiers. It's very clear that Finrod comes by his kingliness and authority honestly. One of the best lines in this chapter was Arafinwë's: "And if I ever catch any of you taking delight in another’s misery again, you will wish it were indeed Lord Námo who speaks to you about it, because I will not be so merciful. Are we clear on this?" The stern promise in his words would certainly make me shake in my shoes! Sador was his typical charming "little brother" self. I can't help smiling at both his sigh and expression before he awakens Glorfindel. So much for being nervous of the King! He's just being a classic young teenager. When he refers to the King as "Atar Arafinwë", my smile got so big I thought my face would split. And Arafinwë gets yet another perfectly wonderful line right at he end of hte chapter: "Yonya," he said softly and with great feeling, "don’t you think it’s about time you followed your two brothers’ example and just call me ‘Atar’?" How about that? I've actually written a review that is shorter than chapter being reviewed! But don't worry, I'll probably be back to my long-winded self soon! May you live blessed! Edlyn

Calenlass · 9 April 2007 · Chapter 71: Formenos

So justice has been served. Good. And now I hope to find out what's up with Glorfindel. *grin* ~Calenlass

Beruthiels Cat · 8 April 2007 · Chapter 71: Formenos

I'm re-reading this story from the beginning, and don't mind admitting I feel very inadequate as to leaving a quality review for such an amazing tale! I'm SO glad you update as quickly as you do, you've kept me on the edge of my seat, and it's been a heck of a ride. I'm going to miss this one when it's over,(but since you've said that Glorfindel won't be totally mature for at least another century) I'm hoping it lasts a good long while! I'll also throw my hat in with my best guess for the "mysterious elf"- Finwë? BC

Kitty · 8 April 2007 · Chapter 71: Formenos

I had nearly forgotten whose son Arafinwë is, for in connection with the whole thing, I am more used to his Sindarin name. It can not be easy to be the half-brother of Fëanor and to get to terms with what his family did. No wonder this day was so difficult for him. But he did well in the end. The miscreants will be exiled in Formenos? Hmmm ... that’s probably truly the only sensible solution to the problem. And I see the Valar will not allow the King to be too merciful. Well, it’s probably right – if they get away with that, then sooner or later someone other will do something similar, I fear, so they have to make an example of it and make it deadly serious that they will *not* allow any attempts at disrupting the peace of Valinor. Hm ...may I hope Tinwetariel will have to accompany her husband to Formenos? I still don't have forgiven her for her behaviour against Glorfindel, and she was as much involved as Ingoldo and Vorondil. And it was amazing just *who* readied Formenos for this purpose. I can't imagine one of the modern day Kings doing something like *that*! Is it my imagination or has Oromë a soft spot for Sador? I’d be happy with it, as Sador deserves to be honoured by the Valar. Now I look forward to the reunion; our elves will be *so* glad to be together again! And I am sure Glorfindel will be glad to have his ring back - but a bit upset to know how he lost it.

eiluj · 8 April 2007 · Chapter 71: Formenos

I really didn’t expect Glorfindel to arrive in Vanyamar before the rest, much less so many days before them. Formenos ... I’d forgotten the precedent of Féanor’s exile. Yeah, that’s a good place to put them. Re. the Mysterious Elf’s name being the Quenya equivalent of a Sindarin name from LotR -- yes, I’d thought of that. I’ve now got another translation for the Elf’s name. The first translation seemed silly -- as I guess it does to Glorfindel also -- and didn’t quite fit the person I thought it was. Unlike everyone else, I was *never* thinking of Radagast. [To my mind, neither name works well for Radagast.] After a bit more research, I decided the name does fit the person I’m thinking of. I won’t say who I’m thinking of, so as not to spoil anyone’s surprise in case I’m correct. Also because though it makes perfect sense at the moment, I’m generally wrong about these things.... On the other hand, if you’re going to explain the meaning of the name after this is all over, the meaning must have some significance. Wondering if the Valar have prohibited the entire population of Valinor from discussing Eärendil (and family) with Glorfindel. That letter Olórin brought Ingwë the day Glorfindel arrived in Vanyamar: was it a prohibition against telling Glorfindel about Eärendil? Or advice on dealing with adolescent Reborn? Or warning Ingwë that there were about to be Problems, and he should keep Manwë informed of developments? Or all of the above?

Kitty · 8 April 2007 · Chapter 70: Hunter and Hunted

Somehow I find it reassuring that Arafinwë still doesn’t know what to do with the miscreants, too; as I said in one of my last reviews, I have no idea what could be done with them. It is *so* satisfying to see the baddies being caught! Need I to tell you how much I enjoyed it that Ingwion saw at first sight the stolen peridot ring upon Vorondil’s hand, and that it was *Sador* who overwhelmed Vorondil? Oh yes, the conspirators underestimated all of them very badly. And to find themselves face to face with Oromë and to realise that even the Valar were aiding Finrod and the others was a nice (and well deserved) shock for them. Sador’s reaction to the Hunt and his initiation through Oromë was fascinating. Though of course I have to disagree with Sador about the kinslaying – it is a huge difference if he has killed someone who wanted to kill innocents in self-defense or if he himself would be the one trying to kill the innocents. (And of course – Vorondil deserved the cut!) That was truly an exciting and exhausting day for our elfling! >>Sometimes a snowstorm is just a snowstorm....and sometimes it's not. I think you did spent too much time among elves. You know the saying „Do not go to the elves for counsel, for they will tell you yes and no“? ;-) A late Happy Easter to you and thank you for this wonderful easter egg!

eiluj · 8 April 2007 · Chapter 70: Hunter and Hunted

Storm on the mountain ... *snicker*. Eru will not be denied. And a good thing, too. “If you are lucky you will not be brought to stand before the Valar in the Máhanaxar” -- I’d been wondering about that possibility, but hadn’t realized how necessary it is that the Valar make a formal response to this breaking of the peace. Hm. Ingwë having brother problems, just as Manwë did. The only formal predictions I’d made for this part of the story were Vorondil acting unwisely (which he did, but nothing major), and some sort of violence on the part of the Bad Guys (which didn’t really happen; I suppose it’s technically possible for Tulcaner to elude the Maiar and wreak some future mayhem).

Agape4Gondor · 8 April 2007 · Chapter 70: Hunter and Hunted

Letting go allows one to live in the Present in hope for the Future, not in regret for what was or what might have been. (something this Elfling must learn too!) Inside were three golden frames on pieces of moldering velvet. All of them stood there in awe, realizing what had once lain there. (I got shivers as soon as I read 'three golden frames' for I knew immediately what they had held and the sorrow, death, and horror that was caused.... EXCELLENT chapter.... as always... When this is finished, I'm going to just print out the whole thing and go hide somewhere and re-read it. It has been a true journey of discovery!

Agape4Gondor · 8 April 2007 · Chapter 70: Hunter and Hunted

"But Eru will not be denied," Hallelujah! Great chapter. Sador is well cared for. The Hunt was magnificent in its deadly beauty. Well written.

Edlyn · 6 April 2007 · Chapter 19: Return to the Maze

"Ah, he can be taught!" Sorry about that, I just couldn't resist. I just about fell out of my chair laughing at Námo's admission that they brought Glorfindel to the alternate reality "...well...because we can." I was so tickled at that. Námo's (in fact all the Valar's) willingness to admit their foibles and to not pretend that they never make mistakes are one of thethings I like about your portrayal of them. Only Eru Iluvatar is perfect. We and the Valar can only attempt to emulate Him to the best of our abilities. Oh, dear I was right. Glorfindel, you really should mind your own business but if you did you wouldn't be you. Glorfindel has jumped to a lot of erroneous conclusions in regards to what friendship is and what kind of person Amarië is, and even the kind of person Finrod is. If Lord Námo hadn't corrected Glorfindel's misapprehensions I shudder to think about what Finrod's and Glorfindel's lives would be like. The friendship would be strangled and both would lose so much of importance. What's really sad is that there are plenty of people out there in the world who do abrogate the responsibility for others' lives to themselves, be it a parent or sibling or spouse. It is sadly the starting point for a lot of the abuses that are out there. Luckily, Námo knows just how far to go and what to do to straighten out his little elfling before any damage is done to Glorfindel and Finrod's relationship. Not that it is a pleasant experience. Chastisement isn't meant to be pleasant; the unpleasantness is what makes it memorable so the lesson sticks. I can't describe how the passage following Námo's order for Glorfindel to look at him made me feel, at least not on an open forum. It touches too close to some tender points for me. If you are interested in the details of my reaction I'd be glad to discuss it via private email. I could feel the forgiveness given by Námo once Glorfindel admitted his error and apologized (though, of course, it was already offered) as I read the paragraph and oh, like Glrofindel I most certainly would be happy to remain in such loving arms till the end of the world. There are times when I feel myself wrapped in the arms of God, my loving father, when everything is as close to perfect as this world can get (though it doesn't happen as often as I might wish...I'm greedy in that way) and that is what I imagine Glorfindel felt. Námo (and all the Valar for that matter) are loving parents to the Eldar in everything that counts and are especially good parents in that they will correct their wayward children as well as shower them with love and healing. Ah, ha! I was sort of right in regards to the issue of oathtaking. May I indulge in a smug grin? Yes, keeping estel in our hearts is so very important. And while we can't understand why we are inspired to do things, I think it is very possible to know in our hearts that what we are doing is right in God's eyes, so long as we listen. *LOL* I can just picture the final scene! Oh, my! I wonder which Valar inspired Sador to play that prank and to involve Finrod in it? What a wonderfully fun way to end the chapter. And it was most certainly charming to see that Arafinwë and Eärwen still after all these centuries share the physical side of love as well as the emotional and spiritual. And if anyone needed any reminder that the three Reborn are still elflings at heart this should have dispelled that misconception. Lovely, mellon-nin, simply lovely. May you lived blessed, Edlyn

Edlyn · 6 April 2007 · Chapter 18: Reflections Before Sleep

Good morning (Dayton-time, anyway) mellon-nin. It is very quiet in the office today as most folk are off on Easter holiday trips and I got my real work done so I was able to review this chapter. I was happy to see that Amarië's gift to Finrod was much appreciated and I can just see everyone in the dining room sitting there with their mouths hanging open in utter shock watching their prince wolf down his porridge (By the way, his favourite way of having it is the same as mine). "Why don't we go to the kitchens and find out?" I couldn't help laughing at the tone of this line. Obviously, Amarië has told her internal critic to shut up for once. Eärwen's comment also made me laugh and my fellow secretary shot me a puzzled look before going back to her book. I remember coming home on leave for the first time after being stationed in England and putting malt vinegar on the fried fish we had for dinner that first night. My mother was utterly astonished because I had hated the stuff as a teenager and she said in the same tone of bewilderment as Eärwen: "But you don't LIKE vinegar on fish!" I just shrugged and took seconds. *LOL* Amarië is much more approachable and nicer to be around since her healing. I'm proud of her for being honest in her answer to the question regarding the certainty of her marriage to Finrod. It's quite obvious that she wants it to happen but is now willing to wait and hope and give Finrod (and herself) the time needed to redevelop their relationship. Hmmm. Glorfindel's refusal to swear fealty to Arafinwë has me in several minds. I can see his point regarding his previous oath to Turgon. Turgon still exists and will one day be Reborn (or at least I assume he will be Reborn--I can't help being hopeful that he will leave his judgment truly believing he is forgiven and able to forgive himself--yes, I'm an optimist). However, another part of me is saying "Good Grief, Glorfindel, go ahead and swear fealty to Arafinwë already!" Then yet a third part of me is recognising that Glorfindel is going to be more useful to the Valar if he isn't Arafinwë's liege-elf as a sworn oath that will limit his freedom to move about and to make sudden decisions that might not necessarily be what Arafinwinë might want him to do. That could definitely interfere with the Valar's plans. It would also be better that Arafinwë not be put in the position of officially chastizing his liege-elf for being absent without leave. Of couse, even without being sworn to Arafinwë, Glorfindel would still probably end up facing a rather disgruntled Atar after such an act but it wouldn't have to be court business and all that entails. I certainly can see the discussion of the "problem" of the Reborn becoming heated. It speaks well of Finrod, Glorfindel and Arafinwë that it didn't turn acrimonious. And I don't think I ever want to know what Finrod's original term for the Once-born is . Eärwen would most definitely have something to say about her son using such uncouth language, and I suspect that her lecture might be accompanied by a mouthful of soap or something equally unpleasant if Finrod's chosen term is as bad as you intimate. Second chances are SUCH a blessing. It's too bad that the Amanildi have such a warped and confused idea of what an Eldar's death means. They can't see the simple truth that Finrod stated so eloquently. "If the Valar and Eru have forgiven us, have welcomed us back into their graces, how can our people do any less? Indeed, how can they dare not to?" Two very good questions, mellon-nin, and as applicable to us humans as they are to the Eldar. It is a bleak world to live in, indeed, where one is refused forgiveness. I've had arguments with some people who call themselves Christian but who refuse to forgive others freely, instead demanding that the person who wronged them prctically crawl on their belly through hot coals before they will even consider forgiving them (and then it's usually conditional!). I find myself pointing out that if we want unconditional forgiveness for ourselves then we must give unconditional forgiveness ("...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..."). However, forgiveness doesn't mean that the event that wounded someone is to be forgotten. Bringing this back to something to do with your story, if forgiveness requires forgetfulness, then the Reborn would never regain thier memories of thier former life once they were re-embodied. Eru requires that the Reborn accept responsibilities for their actions, and if the Reborn have no memory of what they did in their first life then it would be impossible for them to take that responsibility. It's rather difficult to avoid the same mistakes ("Your sins are forgiven now go and sin no more...") if you don't know what to avoid. Now the Amanildi, who seem to be taking the rebellion against the Valar and Eru as a personal attack upon themselves, need to look at the maxim: "Forgive and forget." Not that the Rebellion should be completely erased from their minds, but they shouldn't pick and worry at it like a scab on a wound or a sore tooth and act as if the long ago hurt was inflicted only two minutes ago. And they definitely oughtn't to blame the children born in Endorë after the Rebellion for their parents' and grandparents' sins. Oh, dear, Glorfindel, you need to listen to yourself. You're looking at Amarië in the same way the Once-born look upon you! Practice what you preach, you foolish elf! Besides, there's nothing worse than meddling in your best friend's love life. I have a bad feeling that Glorfindel is going to be caught up short in regards to his intent to do something about it. Well, he is an adolescent and they don't always think straight. Another excellent chapter, mellon-nin. Hugs! May you live blessed, Edlyn

Edlyn · 5 April 2007 · Chapter 17: An Elleth Scorned

Poor Amarië. I think her highborn vs. lowborn prejudices are part of her attempt to separate herself from others so she doesn't get hurt again, even though she may not be aware of the underlying reasons for her words or actions. If she isolates herself from others and limits those she permits near to those of a certain class (in this case the nobility) she can control aspects of thier behaviour towards herself. Control seems to be something she desires because her life has been influenced negatively by something she had absolutely no control over. She's also jealous because she sees Finderato treating Glorfindel and Sador with an affection that she feels should be directed solely towards herself. Before he left Aman she was the person he loved, joked with, spent time with and was affectionate towards. But now he's come back, she's discovered that she might as well be a stranger he's only just met. She takes refuge in protocol and good manners and has aimed her dislike of the entire situation at Glorfindel, possibly because he belongs in the class of people that she feels she understands the bestand can therefore control and because he is one of those who Finderato loves. She doesn't dare express her discontent to Finderato (or his parents) for fear that he may trn from her completely, never ot come back, because she does still love him. She's suffering from her own trauma, which is essentially untreated grief and has essentially been hanging on with her fingernails for centuries, trying ot keep up appearances. She doesn't understand that its perfectly all right to be agry and upset at someone even when you do love him with your entire heart. (Sigh. Lord Námo, you really should listen to your wife. She does know what she's talking about in regards to the things that look best on you. It's really quite silly to ignore the advice of the best weaver in Arda when it comes to matters sartorial.) Amarië's reaction to Lord Námo is likely due to two things: the first being what appears to be common misperception among the Amanildi that he exists only to punish them, the second being the huge load of guilt and emotional baggage she's been carrying around all these centuries, because she can't reconcile the comon belief that one should NEVER be angry at hte person one loves and the fact that she's rightly angry for Finderato abandoning her for Middle Earth. The societal expectation that one shouldn't be angry at one's love regardless of what he or she did is so so powerful that she can't not feel guilty for not being able to live up to it. So that guilt fueled her panic when she saw Lord Námo and jumped to the conclusion that he was there to punish her. The funny thing about panic is that while you're running or whatever, your common sense and intellect are telling you that running really isn' going ot change anything or do any good but you aren't capable of accepting what they are telling you. Amarië is definitely astray (I liked your choice of the word errant here as it was one of my vocabulary words this week in Latin class: errare - to go astray, to be mistaken, to wander) in the more ways than one. Her response to her situation, while allowing her to survive without fading is one that has continued to hurt her fëa. Her physically fleeing from Lord Námo is certainly indicative of her straying away from the love of hte Valar and Eru in her confusion and misery. While I can certainly imagine myself being so hurt and angry that I'd forget myself enough to slap anyone (much less some like Lord Námo!) I hope that I don't ever experience that in real life. The times I have been "seeing red" angry, I've managed to avoid being around people and turned my rage on inanimate objects (like walls and pillows). Nevertheless, Amarië's frustration and anger are perfectly legitmate in my opinion. There are times when you simply must do something physical to express the anger your feel before it poisons you completely (note to self: remember stone walls beat a clenched fist every time). The despair that falls on Amarië is something that she's really been struggling with all these years and it's a testament ot her will that even if her coping methods were faulty they have been relatively effective. I have felt that miserable coldness myself and it's a difficult thing to foght and to pull oneself away from. I frankly think that most people can't do it without some sort of intervention from outside (in Amarië's case, said intervention being Lord Námo) to break the rage/guilt/despair cycle. And I can certainly understand how frustratingly maddening it is to be thought of only as a symbol. I know that you too have dealt with the same thing. As Amarië expressed so vividly, she is far more than a symbol of patience just as I am far more than a "disabled veteran" and you are more than a "cancer survivor." None of us are our labels. However, as none of the Valar (and Lord Námo especially) never speak without choosing their words very carefully, I strongly suspect that he purposefully used the label to trigger the necessary lancing of the long-standing infection of Amarië's fëa. I feel that Amarië is a woman who has an internal critic who keeps reminding her that she should be a "good little elleth" and "good little elleth" aren't supposed to be angry much less express it, which also adds to the guilt that has built up alsongside the anger. Námo essentially shut that internal critic up by giving her permission to express what she really felt and reassuring her that she wasn't a bad elleth for feeling the way she did (her actions might be another matter, though). Námo's "little joke" was most certainly payback for the slap and I susect that Vairë gave him an earful about it later on. Hmmm. Obviously, you are using the word "terrible" in reference to the expression of love between the two Vala in its meaning of "intense or extreme in extent," though I can see that the sheer power of love expressed would be somewhat alarming to the elleth. Letting Amarië see that exchange was purposeful. She really needed a reminder of how love is truly expressed. I've noticed in this story that much healing takes place in gardens. That seems so right to me, especially when the one being healed is an Eldar. This event was certainly a judgment for Amarië and like the other judgments you've shown us it was painful but utterly necessary and given with love and care. The catharsis and purification it engenders is well worth the pain of the process. Now she'll be able to truly love (and express that love to) Finderato and she'll be much more an elleth who deserves to be loved back. In order for Finderato to completely heal, those who love him must also be healed, partly so they can help him, and partly (mostly) because they deserve healing in their own right as Children of Iluvatar. That empty feeling Amarië feels after the second catharsis shows that this has been a truly effective treatment. She is now a purified empty vessel ready to be filled with good things. The best thing of all is now that she's accepted the truth that she's hidden away because it hurt too much to contemplate, Lord Námo validated her feelings but at hte same time left her with something to contemplate which will let her beginning filling that empty space with the right kind of things. Amarië wants to be a "good elleth," she truly does love Finderato, but was trapped in a mire of guilt, shame and hurt. Now, because of Námo and Vairë's intervention she can begin again on the path Eru meant for her to walk. Porridge with raisins, cinnamon and sliced apples, a comforting if plebian dish and the perfect gift to give Finderato as Amarië takes her first steps on the right path after such a long and painful detour. I am very proud of Amarië for apologizing ot Glorfindel. It was a real apology and not done for show. It was so good to see the Light shining in her at last. And I'm betting that Lord Námo was chuckling at the expressions on the cooks' faces when she requested the dish. Well written, mellon-nin. And I am much more sympathetic to Amarië than I was when I first met her. Shame on me perhaps, but my first impression was that she was distinctly unlovable and I wondered why Finderato ever had anything to do with her. (And yes, I'm referring to Finrod as Finderato because that's how Amarië refers to him) May you live blessed Edlyn