Chapter Fifty Six

Elrond stared at Legolas. “What do you mean you cannot go back with me?” he asked, though a dreadful thought had occurred to him. He prayed that he was wrong.

“I cannot live as a helpless paralytic, unable to do anything for myself. I cannot be that kind of burden to my family or my friends.” He turned back and faced Elrond. “I know that my paralysis is a result of my own actions, and I do not regret what I did, only that it was necessary.” He lowered his head yet again, shame evident on his handsome face. “I had wanted to die. Perhaps I am just a coward, but given the choice, I still do. Yet because of what I did, I cannot even accomplish that. My body will not move at my command.”

Legolas took a deep breath. “I will remain here in this forest in the recesses of my mind until my spirit fades and my body dies. It is not as quick and certainly not as noble a death as I would have preferred as a warrior on the battlefield, but my family will be free of the burden of taking care of me soon enough.”

Elrond tilted Legolas’s head up until they were looking directly into each other’s eyes. “Legolas, you do not want to die. I know this, and so do you. Not being a burden is an unselfish desire, but...”

“My death is all that will accomplish that,” Legolas said before Elrond could complete his statement. It was rare that he ever interrupted the Lord of Imladris.

“We love you, Legolas. You are no burden to any of us.” The elf lord shook his head firmly to emphasize his words. “In the first place, you cannot be sure that you are permanently paralyzed. It may be just a temporary condition. You are breathing on your own, so there is some function below your neck. I believe you will recover.”

“But, you do not know for sure, do you?“

Elrond had to be honest and reluctantly made himself shake his head.

“Then, I cannot risk it. If you are wrong, my family will be needlessly burdened. Beyond the physical care they would be obligated to give, there is the emotional sorrow of seeing me endure as a totally useless...” He couldn’t find the word whose very mention would not cause him emotional pain, so he didn’t try searching for one.

“You still have your mind, Legolas. And your heart.”

“They are not enough. I am a warrior, sworn to protect my people. I cannot be less than that.”

“You would not be less. Those are the very essences of who you are.’

Legolas merely shook his head.

Elrond grabbed Legolas firmly by both shoulders and shook him none too gently. “You are not going to risk losing out on the life you were meant to lead, because of an idea that you are hopelessly paralyzed. I do not know that, and I have a bit of experience as a healer.” The words, which would have been quite humorous under different circumstance, were spoken with only a small hint of mirth. “Eru returned you to this world for a purpose, Legolas. You have to have faith that that purpose will not involve being unable to move your body.” He shook the blond prince again. “Remember how upset you were, when you could not speak properly?“

Legolas nodded.

“I said then to give it time, and now you can speak, as you always have done. This might well be the same. Have faith, Legolas. Please. There is too much at stake to give up because of a worry that could prove to be unfounded. ”

Legolas lowered his eyes and stared at one of the gold buttons on Elrond’s burgundy colored shirt. He seemed to be lost in the tiny sparkle it made as Elrond’s chest moved with every breath he took.

After several moments of silence, Elrond said, “Please, Legolas, go back with me. You may not believe this right now, but we all need you in our lives.”

Legolas stood silently for several moments, knowing that Elrond would give him all the time he needed to reach a decision. Finally, he took a deep breath, having made that decision. “All right. I will go back and give it some time.” He looked earnestly at Elrond. “But, know this: If I do not make considerable improvement in a reasonable length of time, I will return and remain here until the Halls of Mandos claim me.”

“We have a deal then.” Elrond smiled, feeling like he was on the winning side of the bargain they had just struck. “Take my hand.” The elf lord was grinning. He knew that he was the only one, who really needed Vilya’s power to return to the outside world. Legolas, since this was his own mind, could return at will. However, Elrond wanted the young wood elf to experience the same glorious trip through the tunnel of lights that had brought Elrond here. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Legolas replied, though he was puzzled as to why Elrond wanted them to hold hands. In the next instant he understood. He was flying through streaks of blue lights like nothing he had ever seen before. The lights were all around him. He looked down and saw that he seemed to be suspended in air, as the lights streaked by below him. Even a sky full of shooting stars could not have compared to this.

Elrond received almost as much pleasure watching Legolas’s expression of awe and wonder, as he was at seeing the lights again himself.

~*~*~

One human and three elves sat, stood or kneeled, transfixed by what they were witnessing. None of them were quite sure what to make of it. It was not the first time the elves had seen Elrond use Vilya, but it was by far the most spectacular display they had seen. Aragorn was completely dumbfounded by what he saw.

Only a moment after Elrond had called to the ring‘s power, the brilliance of the blue light of Vilya had driven them all to look away. The elves, in particular, had to turn their heads to avoid their sensitive eyes from actually hurting. A couple of times one or the other of them had tried to look back to see if they could still detect Elrond’s presence among them. None could bear the blinding light. The thought that the intensity of the light probably represented the intensity of the ring’s power was reassuring. How could a broken neck stand up to such power?

Glorfindel was sure he remained the only one who knew what was truly happening. However, now was not the time for him to attempt offering any explanations.

After what seemed like hours, but was in truth only moments, the light suddenly went out. Elrond sagged against the bed, seemingly drained of energy. The hand with Vilya remained on Legolas’s forehead, but the hand on his own head fell limply onto the bed.

Quickly, Glorfindel went to his long-time friend and placed his hands on the other elf’s shoulders. Softly, he said, “Elrond, what assistance do you need?”

With a sigh, Elrond straightened up and shook his head. “I am a little tired, but there is no need for concern.” He smiled at each of his sons to offer them support for his words. “I think a chair is all I need at present.”

Glorfindel helped the dark-haired elf lord stand and then eased him back into the chair he had occupied earlier.

Once Elrond’s sons knew he was unharmed by whatever he had just experienced, their attention turned to Legolas.

“Is his neck healed?” Elrohir asked, unable to hold back the question any longer. “Did Vilya mend it?”

Elrond stared at his youngest elven son and then slowly checked the anxious looks on his other two sons‘ faces. Hope was shining in all their eyes. He suddenly realized what they had thought he had been doing. It pained him to have to tell them the truth. “I did not attempt to heal Legolas’s injuries. That was not the purpose of what I went to do.”

Frowns quickly replaced the hopeful looks. “I do not understand,” Elladan said a fraction before Aragorn said the same thing.

“My sons, I used Vilya to enter Legolas’s mind and help him dispose of Mordraug.”

“And did you?” Aragorn asked. “Is that evil elf gone?”

“Yes. He has been put where he can never harm anyone else again. I will let Legolas tell you what was done, when he awakens.”

Aragorn tried to smile at the answer. He was exceedingly happy that the Avari was gone, never to torture his friend again. “I’m glad.” However, his frown only deepened, when he asked, “Were you not able to heal Legolas?” His voice carried a deep sadness.

“I did not try.”

“You didn’t even try?” Aragorn was shocked at his father’s words. Looking at both of his brothers‘ stunned faces and knowing his looked much the same, he once again said, “I do not understand.”

Wearily, Elrond tried to clear up the obvious confusion. “You all know that I do not use Vilya’s power to heal. I would be forever using it, if I did, and that is not its purpose. It is used to protect Rivendell, not only as a constant ring of grace around it but also to help banish any immediate threat that may appear.”

The ranger understood that, having been told during his training as a healer, but he still could not comprehend his father‘s unwillingness to heal Legolas, someone who had become like a member of the family. He suddenly found himself unable to speak, so upset had he become. He just stared at the dark-haired elf lord, who had raised him.

“But Legolas is like a son to you and a brother to us,” Elladan protested. “Surely, an exception can be made for him.”

“I know it is hard to grasp. I would greatly wish it different myself. I can only tell you that its power is meant for other things. As I said, if I used it to heal, which may or may not even work, I would have to justify its use every time I did.

“I have sat many times by the bedside of each of you, Legolas included, not knowing if I would lose you, and I was forced to employ traditional healing techniques to save you. I cannot use Vilya to help those I love, while refusing its use for others, who come to me to be healed. The responsibility of being entrusted with one of the elven rings of power, is a heavy one. It requires grave and sometimes painful decisions.” The elf lord shrugged. “I can explain it no better.” Elrond felt very inadequate at that moment.

“Did you tell Legolas you could not do it?” Elrohir tried not to sound bitter, but his tone betrayed that intent.

“He did not ask to be healed, Elrohir. I am sure he knew that I would have volunteered to do so, if I could.”

Everyone accepted Elrond’s explanations, but none of his sons truly comprehended the reasons behind them. The power to heal was wrapped around their father’s finger, yet that power would not be used to heal someone they all loved.

Aragorn asked the question that they all had on their minds. “Does that mean that Legolas will be forever paralyzed, as he is now?”

“No,” Elrond answered firmly. “We do not know the extent of the injury to his neck. He could very well make a full recovery. That is what I told him.”

“Then, you did discuss it,” Elladan said.

“Only because Legolas did not want to return here with me.” That statement brought puzzled looks to everyone’s face, including Glorfindel’s, though his soon reflected the dawning of comprehension.

With yet another sigh, Elrond began to explain this statement, too. “Legolas has created a place of refuge in his mind, as I know we all have. It is Greenwood as it once flourished. It is truly beautiful. Legolas wanted to remain there until he died, sure that that would be his end. He does not want to be a burden to his family or his friends, and taking care of an invalid, who is totally helpless, is what he believed would happen, if he returned here.”

Elrohir opened his mouth to say something, but Elrond held his hand up, and the younger twin clamped his lips together and waited for his father to continue.

“We made a deal, Legolas and I. He agreed to come back with me and see what progress he could make, if any. If none is forthcoming in a reasonable time, he will return to his Greenwood to await his death. I do not believe that will happen. As I told him, Eru returned him to Middle-earth for a reason, and I cannot believe living his life as an invalid is it.”

Elrond fell silent and so did everyone else. All their eyes were fastened on the young prince, lying motionless in the bed.

Finally, Aragorn asked, “When will he wake up?” He had asked that question before, but he thought the use of Vilya might have changed the answer he had received then.

“Soon, I think,” Elrond replied, nodding. “Soon.”

~*~*~

Legolas did indeed awaken not long after. As he gradually climbed back into the conscious world, it came to him with a jolt what had happened. He remembered being with Elrond in his mind and then the decisive battle with Mordraug. He could not help smiling to himself, when he remembered the prison he had condemned the Avari to spend eternity in. The young archer was filled with a most joyous feeling of satisfaction that he had avenged his Naneth, as well as stopping Mordraug from using him to destroy the rest of his family. He had also saved his people from a life of domination and cruelty at the hands of the maniacal dark elf.

Legolas tried to hold on to those pleasing thoughts but soon found himself wondering what was going to happen to him now. He was paralyzed, and he found it a difficult thing to accept. Elrond had tried to convince him of the possibility that it could well be a temporary situation. Though Legolas genuinely tried to hold onto the hope Elrond had offered, the fact that the greatest healer in Middle-earth did not know for sure how permanent his injury was did little to encourage the young prince.

Legolas mentally shook his head. The Lord of Imladris was very old and very wise beyond anyone he had had ever known. If Elrond said to hold to faith, he would do it. He had to. The alternative was to return to the Greenwood in his mind until he died. With a sudden realization that surprised him, he knew that Elrond had been right. He really did not want to die.

Without conscious intent, he had opened his eyes and was trying to focus them on his surroundings. Seeing figures that he was sure were his friends, he blinked several times until everything came into sharp focus. His fear that he would be looked upon with sympathy did not materialize. It did not appear that anyone was looking at him at all. It was hard to tell, though, because he could not move his head.

He soon figured out what it was that held his head so tightly in its grip. He was encased in a neck brace. He had once seen another elf warrior back home in Mirkwood, who had to wear one after falling from a cliff. The elf had also been paralyzed---permanently. Legolas quickly turned his thoughts away from that memory. He also pushed his fears aside.

He debated whether to let anyone know he was awake but decided not to disturb those that sat around his bed. He could only see the dark tops of the twins‘ heads, noting that they were seated on the floor. Elrond, leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed, had a look of great weariness about him. Legolas could well imagine that using Vilya the way he had would tire anyone, even a powerful elven lord such as Elrond. Aragorn sat on the other side of the bed and had a worried look on his face. Glorfindel could not be seen, but Legolas heard a small cough and knew it was the blond elf lord.

The archer closed his eyes again. He would wait until he heard someone speak before letting his friends know he was back with them. He felt a pang of guilt that he did not feel up to answering their concerned questions or trying to give them obligatory reassurances right then. All of that would come to pass soon enough, as it was.

TBC

A/N: I hope that I have not offended anyone regarding what I have said about Legolas feeling that his life would be useless, if he remained paralyzed.  I know that htere are a lot of people, who lead very worthwhile lives in that condition.  I have Legolas think otherwise simply for dramatic effect.  Please accept my heartfelt apology, if anyone is hurt by anything that I have said on that subject.