Nardanë Daughter of Parímoëar, of Lindon

To Kalamiril Daughter of Menelúin of Mithlond, my Beloved Friend,

O Kalamiril, I apologize to you deeply for my last missive – how hopeful I was, how happy and content! – so has Laustairë managed to befoul the air hereabouts I am turned on my head, and know not which way points the sky, and all the good news I had related to you is turned to naught, and things are worse than they were before.

Did I say unto you, my dearly loved friend, that the skirmish betwixt Lord Legolas and our Laustairë had precipitated a change in the child?  That she had grown quieter yet wiser, less apt to fulsome speech and more interested in the doings of this kingdom?  That so desirous was she of maintaining his good graces she did throw herself into the work prescribed her?  O but I erred by speaking of this far too quickly!  She was but biding her time 'til all had assumed she had in meekness acquiesced to her betrothed, and now – O you shall see what she has done!

I have related to you, O my friend, the preparations for the small Tournament that was to be played out in Osgiliath, at which Lord Legolas and sundry others were to test themselves at trials of arms in grand pageantry, to be followed by a sumptuous feast; also did I tell you, Kalamiril, that Laustairë after her confrontation with her beloved (this was following as I told you the discovery of the notes betwixt Seimiel and Dúrfinwen concerning Laustairë's perfidy) did take especial interest in the planning of the upcoming functions, being sure she understood precisely the order of ceremony, and the seating of dignitaries, and the differing points of rank between the several lords and ladies, and the small aspects of protocol and propriety used hereabouts that none might feel slighted.  To my joy she foregathered with Hwindiö and Dúrfinwen and Kaimelas concerning the decorations and lighting, the ordering of the victuals and the construction of the ovens and spits, the assembly of the awnings over the royal box in the stadium and the placement of the chairs in classification of rank, being careful to set all in proper seating according to status, O all these things, Kalamiril; when I spoke to Legolas several days before the Tournament he seemed most pleased, saying to me he had heard great things of his betrothed's proficiency and aptitude for such functions, and that she when her interest had been piqued so blossomed beneath the load she seemed to him nearly equipped to be his bride and he was considering raising the moratorium on the wedding – when I think of it, Kalamiril, how happy he was, how hopeful, how reassured! – it breaks my heart truly, when I remember the look upon his face as he realized she had deliberately dishonored him before the entire assembly; I believe at that moment he and I felt the same emotions – shame and mortification, anger and indignation at her infantile, niggling, and hurtful actions.

It happened thus, my friend:  I shall not bore you with a breakdown of the seating arrangements, but understand that as the betrothed of the Lord of Dol Galenehtar she had been accorded a fine seat in the royal box of the stadium to watch the joust, and also, as Legolas was to joust himself her position of prominence was especially noted.  King Elessar and Queen Undómiel were there, and Lord Faramir and Lady Éowyn, as well as sundry other members of the nobility hereabouts and visiting worthies; I was seated far to the rear, as I am but a ladies' maid; still, as I sat betwixt Lady Dirhael and Telemnar I felt I had been apportioned quite a fair seat, for I could see the entire quadrangle from where I sat, and after studying the details of the joust I was eager to see it performed.  All came and found their seats, dressed in their finery (and I ought now to inform you that none matched Queen Undómiel for her splendor; she is not called Lúthien's heir for naught) and the entire assembly watched with great interest; the folk hereabout do take great pleasure in the spectacle their lords and ladies make, perhaps due to the dearth of kingship when the Stewards ruled; at any rate all eyes were upon the royal box, marking who entered and where they sat, so that when the hour approached for the parade of combatants I began to feel uneasy, for Laustairë was conspicuous in her absence.  We waited, her chair remaining prominently empty in its public locale, until Lord Faramir with a backward glance to me (I blushed deeply I admit on her behalf, though at the time I ascribed her absence simply to her overindulgence before the mirror) rose to begin the procession, and the warriors upon their destriers filed into the stadium.

It should have stirred my heart, Kalamiril, to see such display; the mighty war-horses in their trappers and caparisons, the knights in their bright armor, the colorful pennants and escutcheons and surcoats, the surge and swell of the cries of the crowd as favorites passed and banners were waved – yet my heart sank within me, and a chill passed over me that had naught to do with the crisp clear air:  Where was Laustairë?  Surely she would not miss this spectacle, this opportunity to so display her future rank and her marvelous vestments in public!  Why she had prepared her gown so carefully and thoughtfully, being sure everything was in its place – yet she was not, and for what reason?  At last with sinking heart I saw Legolas approach the royal box; he was clad most gloriously in armor of splendid make, verdigrised and marked with runes, all in the concept of the dragon (remember he lived near Dale), his splendid destrier clanking and clattering in its cruppers and crinet, its good-natured face (Piukka is a dear animal) obscured by a ferocious-looking shaffron fashioned to resemble a dragon as well; his oak-branch charge fluttering from a gold-tipped lance (now do I know for certain what Cirien meant, when he spoke of the tips of the towers piercing the forest canopy like coronels, it is a grand sight); how the crowd roared when he passed; what a favorite he is, this champion of the poor, friend of the downtrodden, protector of the meek, nurturer of the suffering!  He approached the royal box to make obeisance, and lifted his visor, his eyes eagerly seeking the face of his beloved – but – she was not there!  How his face fell; how deeply did this cut him; then the steel descended before his gray eyes, and his mouth compressed into a thin hard line; he gave his perfunctory bow and continued on to the lists.  He knew, my friend, what the slight meant:  In public, before the assembly, that was insulting enough, that she should deliberately absent herself from so grand an assembly, feigning indifference to the neighboring kingdoms and to his own royal person; in private, betwixt those two, that his triumph should be marred by her coldness and spite, that she thought so little of him she would rather be reading in her rooms (as it turns out that was indeed the case) than to watch him display his talents before her.  Kalamiril, I have read the rules of etiquette hereabouts; when a knight in tourney approaches the box where his lady is seated, she gives to him a token which he affixes to part of his person (popular convention suggests the elbow) and with this token he wins for his lady honor and accolades, which he returns to her at the end of the tournament.  Now Kalamiril, all in the assembly, from the King to the least peasant, being cognizant of Prince Legolas' betrothed state, did expect and hope to see this pageant unfold; that Laustairë made herself absent was not only a slight to the populace but to Legolas himself, that his lady thought so little of his honor she would not bother to bestir herself enough to attend. 

Do you see, Kalamiril?  Do you see what this thoughtless child has done?  She has mortified a member of the Sindar royalty, a lord of Ithilien, and a mighty warrior, all through her sullen desire for revenge upon his gentle remonstrance, and recompense for her mortification!  What did I do wrong?  How did I come to this?  O you ought to have heard the muttering in the box, Kalamiril, the sidelong glances and frowns; Lady Éowyn herself turned to me, her pale eyes coldly searching; I blushed, face downcast, for in truth I could not face them.  Hardly did I have heart for the joust, which was a shame, my friend, for a more stunning pastime I could not have conceived; the thunder of hooves, the churn of dust, the crash of contact! How I wish you could have been there, how you would have cheered and clapped with the rest!  And O Kalamiril, had Laustairë only unbent her pride enough to come, how swiftly would she have capitulated, for indeed what maid could resist admiring a knight so swift to the tilt, so keen to the mark, so poised upon the horse?  I need not tell you he trounced his competitors truly, though he had no token upon his arm; that he rode untenanted back to his retainers with naught but his pennant was yet an additional arrow in my heart.

There was a goodly bit of grumbling when the assembly dispersed; King Elessar took me aside, his kind eyes worried, to ask if aught had happened to "my friend's betrothed," but I was forced to admit ignorance; the keen look of sympathy there nearly undid me and it took all my strength to hold back tears of anger and frustration.  But I held my head high, Kalamiril, remembering the lord to whom I swore fealty in ages past; I refuse to let this foolish child unseat me at this stage of my life! 

We assembled for the feast in Osgiliath in the central square, which had been strewn with rushes, canopied with tapestry and lit with lanterns; there were row upon row of trestle tables set, including the high seats and the dais, whereupon I was seated (though in a place of lower rank, as was fitting me; indeed at that point I am surprised I merited such favor), and the knights entered in their splendid robes and doublets and tunics to the delight of the assembly, which cheered and applauded them, especially Legolas, who in his white bejeweled doublet flashed like lightning and quite bedazzled me; he sat, his face blanched and set, beside his friend Gimli Lord of Aglarond, whose customarily affable face resembled a thundercloud; still Laustairë's seat was vacant, until near time for the bell to ring, when she strode into the square, chin high and eyes coolly disinterested!  I am surprised, my friend, that in the ensuing silence there were no hisses; she sat demurely enough beside her betrothed, eyes upon her plate, but her back in its stiffness denoted arrogance of heart and Legolas did not unbend to her enough to even acknowledge her.  Lord Faramir, being the host, and a wise man, took in the tenor of the gathering and gave the blessing unto the West and we began, but there were many sidelong glances and murmured slurs against our Laustairë, calculated for her ears I am certain, for as the meal progressed she became the more surly and discontent, and I saw to my dismay she but picked at the food upon her trencher, disdaining the dainties in her anger.  At last the trenchers were gathered and distributed to the dogs, and the musicians began to play, many circles and lines formed upon the rushes and the mood lightened.  Legolas turned at that point, and I admired him for doing this; it was a great concession on his part; he said to Laustairë:  "Will you dance?" and held out his hand, no doubt intending to question her in private concerning her actions and sparing her public reprimand.  But the censure of the assembly had hardened her and she stubbornly refused, her face truculent; he blanched then, and would surely have censured her, but I rose swiftly and approached saying (I am sure I know not whence this phrase was born) "But surely shall I dance with you, my lord!" and placed my hand in his.  They both stared at me, and their neighbors also, but recognizing my attempt to normalize this debacle he nodded, and led me out onto the rushes.

Now, O Kalamiril, at this point I had naught in mind save to draw public eye from his mortification, so my tongue was numb and I could not speak; yet he drew me into his arms for the circling round and fixing me with his clear gaze said coldly:  "Well!  I should have to admit to myself that did not work the way we had planned.  This to my mind is quite a large step backward, do you not think so?"

"I am sorry, my lord," I apologized humbly, my eyes downcast.  "I have never seen her act so."  (You know, Kalamiril, this was a lie; he knew it as well, for few can hide their perfidy from him.)  "Please think no less of her, or at least of me; I know not where I have erred; I have tried again and again to show her the way she must go and I have failed every time."

"Blame not yourself, my lady," he said to me, his voice and eyes gentling.  "Were result measured in effort we should both be successful in our several ventures.  This is none of your doing."

This so lightened my mood I smiled, but when I looked up into his face I saw the pain and unease there, and my heart sank.  We danced together in silence for a while, and after a time I saw him smile to himself; I asked, "What are you thinking of, my lord?"

"O I am thinking of something my esquire wrote to me in his last letter," said Legolas, his eyes growing warm for the first time during the feast; "he did say to me he wished me to think of him during the joust and afterwards, as he must needs be absent yet desired greatly to be with me."

Now I have heard tales of his esquire, the perian of the Shire; that he would speak so fondly of him seemed to me to be a good thing and I said soothingly:  "Well he will be here soon enough for the wedding."

His face fell at this and he said to me, "What wedding? Shall there be one even now she has disgraced me before all Dol Galenehtar, Osgiliath, and most of Minas Tirith?  You must think me mild indeed to accede at this stage."  And his eyes, Kalamiril!  How they burned with angry fire!  It was all I could do to withstand his ire.  Well do I understand now why folk say he resembles his mother in face but his father in temperament!  But I remembered my lord's command and said,

"O be not so distraught, my lord; but remember she is very young."

"She is," he agreed dryly, "so perhaps I ought rather to adopt her as a daughter than take her as my wife.  Would that please you then, Nardanë?"  And I could not speak, for my tongue clove to the roof of my mouth and I was struck dumb.  We danced in silence for a time, each with our respective grim thoughts; when the song wound down he escorted me back to the dais and politely released me.  After that I lost track of where he went; I saw him dance with Lady Éowyn (being especially careful of her in her current fragile state), and with Queen Undómiel, and Lady Dirhael, and Lady Éodild (whom I thought would chatter his very ears off), and sundry others; but he did not dance with Laustairë; indeed none did; I found later that it is tradition hereabouts that none may ask a betrothed woman for a dance lest she accept first a dance with her fiancée.  It is difficult to feel sorry for Laustairë at this stage, Kalamiril, even when I recall how she glowered and sulked at her place, eventually fading away to go to her rooms.  How we shouted and argued, my friend!  How I heartily wished you were here, that some sense might be driven into her!  She is so stubborn, Kalamiril, and so inflexible; she has inflicted such damage to her relations with her betrothed I am not sure I shall be able to repair them.  What shall I do?  O that it would not take so long to get my reply from you – that you were here with us to advise me!  But then were you here perhaps this might not have occurred at all; you are so much better with Laustairë than I, especially when she gets into these sulky fits of hers.  I become angry and short-tempered and irrational and that only serves to prolong them.

At any rate I am not sure if the wedding shall be called off or no; Dúrfinwen approached me the morning after the Tournament saying the only method of preserving their union was an apology – private if necessary but public would be preferable – but how shall I constrain this stubborn, thick-headed girl to apologize for this affront?  Still she feels herself justified by her actions!  Rather should I take me down to the Anduin and bid it run from south to north!  I should have better luck with the river than Laustairë.

Write me when you can, my Kalamiril; autumn is rapidly waning and our duties are slacking, which several months ago would have been a good thing as it would have allowed Legolas and Laustairë to foregather more comfortably; but now we shall have hours of idleness and thick furrows of restraint betwixt them.  O that I were in Mithlond!

Your friend,

Nardanë