Gimli Son of Glóin, Lord of Aglarond, Of the Nine Walkers, Elf-Friend,

To Bandobras Took Son of Reginard, Esquire of the Green Knight,

Greetings.

Bandy, you have not the smallest notion of the conundrums visited upon Dol Galenehtar – upon Osgiliath, Ithilien, yea, even to Minas Tirith – by this aggravating, this narrow-minded, this maddeningly selfish slip of an Elf-child that has been forced upon your Master!  You shall be glad of this at least – the wedding is off – not delayed but canceled – he has finally had his eyes opened, and is cognizant of her true nature – this petty, small-minded, mean-spirited, arrogant thing!  To call her a "lady" is far too gentle – to call her a "woman" insults all females full-grown – even to call her an Elf seems to stretch the imagination too far – O Bandy, I am so far gone in wrath it is a wonder I do not march down to her rooms forthwith and spank her!  'Twould serve her right, the minx, for upsetting Legolas so.  And lest you attribute my anger to my race (I admit I as a Dwarf am rather short-tempered; this is naught compared to my grandsire – you ought to have seen him when he was in his cups; all feared him and gave him wide berth) let me tell you the whole demesne simmers with it.  This maid has made things so hot for herself here she cannot even go in to dine; she takes her meals in her rooms with no one save her maid Nardanë; even that one is vexed to the utmost and mutters and grumbles as she walks the hallways.  Your Master – because he is your Master and one of the most gracious persons I have yet met – has forbidden his people to speak ill of her, or to reprove her; he did say to Seimiel and Dúrfinwen that the censure of the public was punishment enough (I disagree with him there; she needs a good strapping and I'm the Dwarf to administer it; it would be about time someone took her to task for the things she's done and I'll wager she's never been whipped in her life) and as she and her maid are constrained to remain here until the end of the bad weather we must needs treat her with civility.  Spring, Bandy!  Legolas must suffer her appalling company until Spring!  O I am so furious I can barely write!  Curses upon this late Autumn storm, that has blown down from the north and alternately drowns us in ice or buries us in drifts!  I cannot even return to Aglarond, for the storms continue to harass us so that the passage is closed; only the King's patrols and the post dare travel in such weather, for they have stops along the way, whereby they might procure fresh horses.  I fear you shall not receive this letter until midwinter, so foul has the weather been hereabouts; it is doubly vexing for me, for I must remain here in Dol Galenehtar neglecting my own demesne, as well as endure the presence of this aggravating infant.  And the Anduin is sluggish with floes, Bandy, so we cannot even send her to Dol Amroth – not that I would wish this infuriating child on Imrahil, I like him well enough – but at least it would get her out of Dol Galenehtar, so that Legolas need never look upon her face again.

It happened thus, Bandy:  The tournament was set for late autumn (indeed not a week has passed; this inclement weather surprised us all; have you been getting your fair share of snow too?) and Laustairë had been heavily involved in its planning, particularly to the arrangement of seating and order of protocol, so that none can accuse her of ignorance – I am sure instead it was just that gave her the idea – you know he was to receive her token and become her champion; it is customary, and all expected it – yet she deliberately absented herself, Bandy – did you read that properly?  If not I shall write it again with full warning:  SHE DELIBERATELY ABSENTED HERSELF.  Do you comprehend the full meaning of that?  Knowing well her presence was expected by the assembled peasantry, gentry, nobility and royalty; knowing her betrothed was required to take from her a token; knowing all present would eagerly await her appearance to take especial note of her clothing and bearing (two things Fríma did tell me occupy the majority of her thinking anyway); and worse, Bandy, knowing full well Legolas not only did expect her to be there but actually awaited her eagerly, laughing and singing as he donned his armor – O Bandy, the hurt and anger and disappointment and chagrin on his face when he turned from the royal box!  Even from so great a distance (I stood by the tilt), even with his face half-obscured by his frogmouth, even with his body hidden beneath his armor, I saw his shoulders slump, his face fall, his eyes dim – how angry I was!  I do confess to you I swore, Bandy; I swore long and loud and sulfurously --  fortunately in Dwarvish for beside me stood diverse esquires and servants of the other combatants and they are quite young, too young for such language, as are you, Bandy, so do you not think that because I confess to such a thing it automatically confers upon you the privilege – and when your Master returned to me his face was very white and set, his lips pressed into a thin line; he spoke not to me nor made any other sign he had been so insulted, but instead took out his wrath upon his unfortunate competitors, so trampling them beneath Piukka's hooves some of them had to be prised out of their armor afterwards.  How his coronel smote, how his lance splintered, how his armor flashed!  He was like unto the wrath of Oromë charging down the tilt, and all knights ceded to him his prize – which, because his idiot betrothed had so scorned and affronted him he had to keep for himself – and when I aided him out of his armor he spoke not to me then either, but stood still and stiff; however when I had finally removed his cuirass and fauld he sat upon the cot within the tent and put his face in his hands, and he sat so unmoving for some time.

I attempted to reason with him then, pointing out to him the inadvisability of continuing this charade, but he would not hear me; still he determined to do the right thing by the girl, and not put her aside in public disgrace, despite her insult; so Kaimelas (who was angrier than I have ever seen him; indeed I have never seen him angry at all, which made it all the more unnerving) and I did assist your Master into his proper clothing for the banquet – yes, Bandy, I shall tell you what he wore; 'twas the white doublet you purchased for him in Dale; are you satisfied now? – and we did go unto the Square, which was laid with rushes and set with trestles and food – I would describe the food to you but I am too angry – and amid accolades he did sit beside me and put forward a benign face, for it would never do to have him show unto the assembly how much his betrothed had injured him.  And when she entered, Bandy!  Never have I seen so arrogant, so satisfied a face upon a woman!  She knew what she had done, Bandy; she knew she had cut him and was pleased – nay, not merely pleased; she gloated, Bandy – I tell you it was all I could do to keep myself leaping up and throttling her.  Beside that she did glance upon me and I saw in her eyes her triumph – she slighted not only Legolas but his friends also – I heard Galás seated behind me hiss to himself – have you ever seen an assemblage full of silent fury, Bandy?  I have before, so I knew it, and I felt it again, and it was I deem the most uncomfortable I have yet been whether in battle or in peace.  Still your Master played his part, though, Bandy – you should have been so proud of him, he was so gentle and dignified – after the meal (at which I tell you Laustairë ate nothing, being full cognizant of the opinion of the crowd) he asked his betrothed to dance, a grand concession all thought, for he was within his rights to dismiss her forthwith; she churlishly did refuse him though, and I saw in the depths of his eyes the flicker of dangerous fire – yet that nurse-maid of hers saw it too, and in dissembling guise accepted her lady's dance in her stead; I know not what they said to each other in the course of the round but I studied their faces, and I saw within your Master's grim resolve, and in Nardanë's, chagrin and fear.  Needless to say Laustairë did not stay long at the dance!  As she had refused her betrothed no other man dared ask (though I doubt any would, after her disgusting display of pique) so after some time she did discretely melt away to her chambers – the first discrete action I have yet noted in her!  -- and your Master was left to eat his heart out in peace.

The uproar here has been unbearable, and its repercussions far-ranging; needless to say a courier went directly to Mithlond the following morning, and another to Mirkwood, announcing the dissolution of the betrothal; Lord Cirien when I queried him upon the state of the treaty did inform me its contract made no mention of the union (your Master had insisted upon that – wise Elf, at least in that regard!) so you need fear no ill befall his coffers as a result of this calamity!  At least Legolas has many of his friends here, trapped by winter winds and weather after the tournament:  Araval, Hador, Hallas, Cirien, Malbeth, Mardil, Aldamir – and me of course, with Fríma and Ónin, and his own folk (though to my mind their wrath though the greater is also the colder; it is on their account Laustairë shows not her face), and though it is difficult to travel to and fro to Osgiliath there is still much traffic; the great horses of Dale excel in the trampling of snow and the pulling of sleds, and there is congress betwixt the two fiefdoms; we even have Fastred and Hísimë here, ostensibly for their mother Lady Éowyn is close to her time, but Faramir did say to me when he left them in the nursery that he felt Legolas would recover from his heartbreak faster, were the little ones about.  Fastred at least keeps your Master well-occupied, for as his father he has within him the strength of leadership and so guides the visiting children in feats of depredation you should swell with pride to think your legacy continues in him.  Hísimë is a dear little thing, Bandy; I cannot wait for you to meet her; it is rare indeed for me to admit to loving a child but this one fair demands it of you.  At any rate your Master is well-protected from brooding and much reflection, for his house is full nearly to bursting and there is talk, should the storms continue, of having the Winter Festival here again this year, for the halls and rooms and passageways and towers I had constructed for Dol Galenehtar are snug and spacious and there is far more room than in Osgiliath for folk to reside here in comfort – let the Elves have their talans; we wiser folk shall dwell inside stout stone walls! – how you would love the vaulted ceilings casting shadows in curves and circles from the inglenooks; the light reflecting off marble and glass and polished stone; fountains frozen in mid-leap looking like giant birthday-cakes; shuttered windows closing out the whistle and shriek of the wind; mellow rooms and halls full of folk singing and laughing and eating and drinking – ah yes, Bandy, this is what Legolas and his folk have labored to accomplish; almost like unto Rivendell it seems to me at times, peaceful yet burgeoning with activity; it is a shame he has reached his goal to have his dreams of wife and family turned upon their heads.  Well, it is for that reason I am all the gladder Aldamir and his family are here – and Fastred and Hísimë, and Hador's boy, and Hallas' brood (how many of them there are!).    He is near hip-deep in children, Bandy, but through his delight in their company I see the longing in his eyes for you.  A pity you cannot come 'til Spring!  That I could impel the wicked weather to relent and send down upon the earth warming rains; I should ride me unto Crickhollow myself and fetch you early for your Master's comfort!  I do what I can for him, Bandy, but I am so angry – I hope that my anger shall fade with time and I shall be better equipped to console him.

Well there you are; you have the tale.  Whether you receive this letter ere the trees bud is beyond my ken, but I have written it, and must be satisfied.  How I hate to admit this, but I do keenly wish you were here, Bandy!  It would do your Master good to have your bright face about his house.

Write me when you are able, and pray to the Valar the post is prompt!

Your friend,

Gimli