8.

Legolas Thranduilion, The Green Knight, Lord of Dol Galenehtar, Also Known as Legolas the Merry, Legolas the Fair, Legolas the Valiant, and Legolas the Benevolent,

To His Royal Parents, Their Majesties Thranduil Oropherion and Edlothiel of Cardolan, Jewels of Eryn Lasgalen, and Pole-Stars of Sindar Hearts,

Greetings to you, beloved parents mine!  Are not those accolades, which weigh upon your son's head as chattering birds nesting upon the boughs, inelegant and mortifying?  Yet Galás assures me he heard these titles laid upon me with his own ears at Minas Tirith, where gathered there many delegates, council-members, and knights of the surrounds for congress with Aragorn, when I was absent; he did tell me Queen Undómiel and he shared their mirth in secret, so as to not discomfit the givers of these titles, yet both agreed that it is far too soon to give to me such marvelous superlatives, that would not ill befit the annals of some historical tome of old.  "Legolas the Valiant"!  I blush to even write it, but do so anyway; it is good for my humility.

And that, my Lord Father and Lady Mother, is precisely what your son requires, for now I have paraded myself clad in such splendid garments as my Lady Mother has sent, I am regarded by all (save Lord Faramir and King Elessar, who know me well, and their ladies both, as they are possessed of healthy senses of humor) in Osgiliath, Minas Tirith and its surrounds, as the Jewel of Ithilien (indeed I apologized profusely to Lady Éowyn, who in my view is more jewel-like than I, and more deserving of such a title), and so ardently did the eyes of the assembly follow me in my procession up the aisle to the throne in the White Tower that I had great effort extended to not blush, and gained the dais with a sigh of relief, only to find to my mortification that the ladies present in Aragorn's court did look upon my garments and groan to themselves, for I was arrayed much more splendidly than they!  Indeed my friend Mardil of Ethring, as you know the Silver Knight, when I approached did look upon me in awe, and related to me afterwards that I did o'ershadow every lady  in the room, and every man as well; upon seeing my expression of chagrin he insisted:  "But it is not a bad thing, for you do not seem to me to be foppish like Orodreth is; instead it is as though one looks upon the moon and finds it passing fair, until the sun rises and all fades in its splendor."  That did not soothe me at all, and I told him so; he looked surprised, and said:  "But you must know you are fair, O Green Knight; you wring the hearts of every maiden you pass, and some of the matrons beside."  Surmising my discomfort he desisted and comforted me by saying:  "But fear not, my friend; we begrudge you not this, for we know you are a-courting, and it is the brightest plumage wins the hen."  Well, from that point on in the evening I had but one thought, and that was to crawl beneath the banquet table and hide until it was over, as I did when first Lord Elrond and Lady Celebrian came to visit us so many years ago; I thought me upon your response, my Lady Mother, remembering still the pinch upon mine ears, and sat upon my chair instead, enduring the comments and admiring looks and masked behind an aloof and demure façade, though within I writhed in an agony of abasement.

So I thank you, beloved parents both, for the keen lesson in modesty you have taught me through the giving of these robes – I am sure it is a skill I shall be constrained to practice at length these coming years, at least until my garments have been worn sufficiently and are no longer suitable to be used in polite company.  Are you certain, my Lady Mother, that the spells interwoven in the cloth do only contain protection and insight, and not aggrandizement?  I am supposed to wear them at the reception in my Great Hall for Lord Círdan's delegation, and I greatly fear I shall outshine even Lady Éowyn should I do so.  But she assured me it matters not to her, as I am the Lord of Dol Galenehtar and the chief host; she is but an addendum, she said to me, and added, "Besides, my friend, I dearly love to hear the hearts break when you enter the room."  I cannot but think there is some deeper motive in the formation of these garments you have given me, and I need not be wise as Cirien to so infer it.

But anyway they are quite splendid, so that even Gimli was astonished, and he and Náin and Grór and Frerin did so exclaim over its intricate workmanship and fine detail that I quite forgot my embarrassment, and allowed them to poke and prod and finger and feel the embroidery until my chagrin had faded and I was able to at last enjoy the evening, knowing they did not think ill of me for dressing so.  Indeed Gimli hovered at my elbow, frowning thoughtfully and toying with the hem of my lapel, for most of the eve, so that I was spared much chaff from my friends, or idle conversation from diverse ladies disguising their admiration behind inquiries of, "The weather was quite mild today, was it not, my Lord of Dol Galenehtar?" and "Do you not find the subtlety a delightful concoction this eve, Lord Legolas?"  And yes, my Lady Mother, it was Gimli himself who fashioned the brooches; he was delighted and abashed you discerned his work, and expresses his satisfaction you are so pleased; also he said to you, that the boning in the lapels is clever, but should he have ample opportunity he shall replace it with whale-bone, which is sturdier and more flexible.

My Lord Father, you did enquire of me in your missive, what the meaning was behind my Bandobras' hints of bulls and wine-barrels; rest assured he has not succumbed to madness, but it is only his charmingly obtuse method of writing; as to the wine-barrel I shall relate that story to you in his presence, for it is quite amusing, and would cause much mirth about a banquet table, especially were he present to add his little comments and descriptions.  He is as you said not sanguine about my matrimonial prospects, desiring instead to keep me unwed and unfettered, for which I blame him not; most likely it is that he wishes to choose my bride for me himself, and does not trust me to make a prudent choice.  For myself I quite agree – I trust not myself as well, for my mind is so taken up with the worries of my demesne, and the doings of my neighbors, and my heart so harried by thoughts of the treaty with Mithlond and my concerns in Langstrand, that I can scarce spare a moment to think upon the problem of marriage, much less upon the finding and courting of a suitable maid.  But I promise you both, my Lord Father and Lady Mother, that should such a one in Círdan's circle attract my eye, I shall pursue it directly, barring, naturally, the insertion of another suitor into the mix, for triangles are suitable geometrical shapes save where courtship is concerned.

Galás and I are quite busy at this time, for spring shall come in a scant few months and we must be ready for the pruning and planting.  We have planned new vineyards for the east flank of my lands, for it is rocky and sunny there, and a great wind blows down through the valley scoring the earth; perfect conditions for the growing of fine grapes, and the production of wine.  The vineyards shall comprise some twenty hectares (though the land is perpendicular to the horizon and not parallel, which shall cause no few headaches during its care), increasing the area of vineyards to forty-three, no small square this!  And my friend Mardil has given us many cuttings from his own vineyards in Ethring, which are renowned for their fineness and subtlety of flavor; also we have seeds from Dor-en-Ernil purporting to be the very pinnacle of grapely nobility.  I hope that they are, for they cost me enough, and the lord of Dor-en-Ernil is a surly and unlikable man, and very grasping; our negotiations with him and with his retainers leaves still upon my palate an unpleasant aftertaste, which I trust shall not confer itself to my wine.  Also we have cleared a great forest of tangled underbrush, and revealed an extensive grove of old olive trees, perhaps well over one hundred years, and thick with branches; we shall prune and tend them, and see whether or no they bloom for us.  If so we may increase our oil production by some seventy-five per cent, which, when one looks upon the exchequer, is not an insignificant amount.

In short, beloved parents both, my spring promises to be quite busy, for I shall be pinched between my demesne and the many endeavors I have stirring here, and my social obligations in other fiefdoms, such as Hador's wedding in Tarlang, the imminent birth of Aldamir's second child (since my debacle with Lady Éowyn and her Hísimë in the Druadan he has requested my presence, much to my vexation; I do not mind attending the naissance celebration, but to wait upon his lady in the bedchamber with the other leeches is not I deem a proper occupation for a neighboring lord; I have told him this but he is adamant that I be at hand; perhaps in future tomes I shall also be known as "Legolas the Midwife"), several banquets in Osgiliath and Minas Tirith for visiting dignitaries (including our friend King Girion of Dale), Hallas and Dirhael's reception in Lossarnach, and diverse others; poor Hirilcúllas is quite beside herself in her attempts to so order my schedule, and oftimes when we sit and look upon the great parchment chart she has drawn up we can only groan in vexation; even Galás, gregarious as he is, begins to weary of the festivities, observances, carnivals, and tournaments I am constrained to attend; he said to me just last week he wished to send out a notice that I had gone on to Valinor, so that I would no longer be obliged to attend every gathering in Gondor.  Indeed I know not why I am so continually invited out to these galas; I do not mind parties and fêtes, but this is becoming rather ridiculous, and is intruding upon my time in Dol Galenehtar and its surrounds.  Perhaps I ought rather to call myself "Legolas the Preoccupied;" then my friends, acquaintances, fellow lords and knights, and other such colleagues would let me be, so that I might accomplish some little work here, or at best find an hour or so to walk out into my demesne, and so refresh my soul.

My Bandobras' dear mother will not relinquish control over her son until two events occur, that is, the birth of Meriadoc's child, and Peregrin's marriage; the infant I am sure has arrived in due course (indeed it is not the sort of thing one can put off for long), but the wedding is another thing entirely; the last letter from my esquire related the tale of the quarrel that separated Peregrin from his Diamond; I have written also to the future Thain, and remonstrated him, as it is unseemly for one of high ranking to flout his suit and then withdraw so.  I know not whether my words shall have any effect, but I have done my best to mend their rift.

And now, Lord Father and Lady Mother, I must quit you, though I have enjoyed this disruption in the normal carrying out of my duties; Hirilcúllas, Galás, and Kaimelas have all come in, each with their separate plaint:  Hirilcúllas, to collect my correspondence and send it with the rest of the post through Osgiliath (she will be most wroth with me, when she discovers I have yet to reply to Orodreth's trade proposal); Galás, to inform me a delegation from the workers upon the Rammas Echor has arrived to deliver unto me their grievance against my accords with Aldamir, and Kaimelas to entreat me to change into more suitable garments, as I am still clad in my riding clothes from my circuit about the vineyards this morning, and that is unsuitable to my current tasks.  Therefore, I must leave you, beloved parents both, to mine own duties, but believe me when I assure you I remain

Your beloved Son,

Legolas