Chapter 25. Conversation, Polite and Otherwise

If the courtiers and nobles had been bemused by the hobbity greeting the King and Queen received upon the Bridge, they were astonished at the feast that followed. Queen Arwen had given very specific and detailed instructions, and so great was the love and respect her people bore her, and the awe they felt towards the Halflings, that her slightest wish was carried out to the best of their ability.

The advance guard had stopped a few days earlier at the Highgate Inn, just outside Buckland’s North Gate, to request the proprietor’s assistance, and as a result a prodigious number of tables sprang up in a flowery field across the Road from the Gate, as thick as the mushrooms in one of Maggot’s fields. Many were carted from surrounding inns, and not a few were borrowed from neighbouring farm folk, and two tables came from the Shirriff’s house adjoining the Gate! It was a bit inconvenient, eating without a table for a few days, but the contributors were cheerful, having done their bit in support of King and Country, and they were invited to the Grand Feast as compensation!

Folded blankets were laid along one long side of each table, while borrowed chairs and benches lined the opposite side, allowing folk both Big and Little to dine together in comfort. (More comfort for the hobbits, actually, than some of the older nobles with creaking joints, but hadn’t the Travellers attended more than their share of banquets from atop a wobbly pile of cushions for each?)

The Travellers and their wives shared the high table with the royal family. Hilly had thought he’d be standing behind the Thain, serving him, but blushingly found himself seated at Pippin’s right hand, right where Regi or Ferdi would be, were either one at the feast. He kept his eyes strictly on the food, but was aware of all that went on around him.

The Big Folk at the high table were careful to use the Common Speech, but Hilly’s ear caught exotic words, tantalisingly foreign, from the nearby tables. Among these was a repetition of the phrase Ernil i Pheriannath. It meant nothing to the escort, of course, but several times Pippin rose as if in response to bow and call out a cheerful greeting.

Finding Hilly’s eye upon him after one of these exchanges, he said, ‘It is their way of saying “Thain”.’

 ‘Eh?’ Hilly said, swallowing too large a bite. Clearing his throat, he straightened and said more properly, ‘I beg your pardon, Sir?’

 ‘Ernil i Pheriannath,’ Pippin said. ‘Means “Prince of the Halflings” or some such. It’s the closest their language comes to “Thain”.’

 ‘Perhaps they find “Thain” too difficult a word,’ Hilly said politely, and the King guffawed.

 ‘You must excuse my kinsman,’ Pippin said in his stiffest tones, though there was a twinkle in his eye. ‘Tooks are known for speaking their minds, and his opinion of Men is a poor one.’

Hilly started to protest, but Pippin forged on. ‘You see, his only experience with Men for the last score of years has been ruffians. He’s one of the heroes of Tookland, as a matter of fact, whose tireless vigilance kept ruffians out of Tookland during the War of the Ring, when the rest of the Shire was overrun, and he fought valiantly in the Battle of Bywater, the turning point in the war to reclaim the Shire from Saruman and his renegade Men.’

 ‘Naught so grand as all that, cousin,’ Hilly began, but Pippin put a hand on his arm, still speaking to the King.

 ‘He would have you think he stood by while others faced all the danger,’ he said fondly, ‘but he’s a bold Took, indeed.’ He fixed Hilly with a firm eye. ‘All but laid down his own life just the other day, to save my son from a bog, and was barely rescued in time—he nearly drowned before they could pull him out.’

 ‘I had thought you Travellers rather the exception amongst hobbits,’ a courtier sitting across from Merry said, leaning into the conversation. ‘I’ve been told that hobbits are altogether a sleepy, quiet and retiring folk.’

 ‘When left to their own devices they might be,’ Merry said smoothly. ‘But there is a core of courage, deep in the heart of the most timid hobbit...’

 ‘One would never have thought the Ring-bearer capable of the deed,’ another noble—the no-nonsense soldier—said, ‘not from his mild manner and polite way of speaking. And to have seen you, Pippin, setting an entire mess to laughter with your jests, one would never have thought to see you stab upwards and bring down a troll four times your height. And your cousin, the knight of Rohan...’

 ‘That’s all very well,’ Merry said hastily, to forestall the recitation of his deeds, and gestured towards Samwise. ‘And this quiet, pleasant fellow over here subdued a great spider that had devoured many a soldier of Gondor in her time. Not to mention the hobbits that remained in the Shire, who stood against the ruffians; not just the Tooks, but the rebels too...’

 ‘Freddy ought to be sitting here, at the head table,’ Pippin said, indicating a portly hobbit at one of the lower tables. ‘He led a band of rebels and gave the ruffians a merry time of it, before his band was smoked out and taken to the Lockholes. He nearly died there.’

 ‘He was one of the original conspirators, I remember,’ the King said. He gestured to one of the servitors, and soon room was made for two more places to be laid and Freddy and his wife were being escorted to the high table. Pippin jumped up and ran to him, to offer whispered explanations, and so Fredegar Bolger was ready with a bow and his wife with a graceful courtesy as they were presented to King and Queen and shown their seats.

 ‘Melly, you’re looking well,’ Diamond said, passing a dish to Freddy’s wife, who was obviously eating for two.

 ‘Yes, rather,’ Freddy said, drawing out the latter word. ‘This one’s name is to be Pippivar, if I ever have my way.’

 ‘Perevar,’ Melilot Brandybuck Bolger said firmly. ‘He thinks he’ll wear me down with repetition, but I’m every bit as stubborn as he is.’ She joined in the burst of hobbity laughter that followed.

 ‘Why not Thainivar?’ Pippin said brightly, ‘or Ernivar, or Periann—’

Diamond kicked him under the table. ‘Don’t give Freddy ideas,’ she said. ‘Frodovar was ridiculous enough. A Baggins name with Bolger added on!’

 ‘That young lad is anything but ridiculous!’ Pippin said, smiling at the nursery tables to one side where young hobbits were eating without their parents’ constant eye upon them for fear they’d disgrace themselves with upsets or blurting out opinions with full mouths. ‘He’ll do great deeds one day!’

 ‘Save us!’ Melly said, rolling her eyes. ‘Thankfully he’s a serious and sober lad and not likely to be spoilt with the nonsense you feed him!’ Under her breath she muttered, Knights in shining armour, and slaying dragons, and wizards and warriors...

 ‘Don’t look now, beloved, but his head is in a fair way of being turned,’ Freddy said, and nodded at the soldier of Gondor, in his gleaming mail, who bent to present a tray of sweetmeats to the youngsters.

 ‘He does look dashing,’ Melly said with a sigh. ‘Well, soon enough the soldiers will be gone to the Lake with the King and things can settle down to proper dullness.’

 ‘So how does it feel, Sam?’ Pippin said, turning the talk.

 ‘How does what feel?’ Samwise said, digging his spoon into something delightfully light, sweet, and creamy, and—how ever did they manage, on a warm spring day—if he weren’t mistaken, frozen?

 ‘To be a knight, part of such an esteemed company?’ Merry said, following Pippin's thought.

 ‘A knight? Go on with you!’ Sam said, astonished. His fingers rose to touch the silver Star that hung at his throat, and then he firmly took possession of his spoon once more and determinedly subdued his sweet course.

 ‘A knight?’ Rose said shyly, for Arwen was smiling though the King’s face was sober.

 ‘That is the Star of the Dunedain, if I am not mistaken,’ Pippin said. ‘In conferring this upon you, Strider has elevated you to the rank of Knight of Arnor.’

 ‘You have the right of it, cousin,’ Merry agreed, nodding.

 ‘Tell him the story of it, Strider,’ Pippin said. ‘I do believe he’s forgot!’

A slow blush rose upon Samwise’s cheek, but he looked up and said steadily, ‘I remember well enough. You wore it upon your cloak when you served King Thengel, and then Ecthelion, Faramir’s grandfather.’

Several of the hobbits looked baffled at this, looking to little Farry at the nursery table.

 ‘Faramir, Prince of Ithilien,’ Pippin clarified, as Elessar sat back and took another sip of his wine. Once the hobbits got started, there was no need for him to try to wedge a word in edgewise. ‘I remember, Strider, sitting with you by the fire in the evenings, as we marched to the Black Gate, and to distract me from worry you told me of the Star, and the Men who’d worn it before you, all the way back to Aranarth son of Arvedui, first chieftain of the Rangers of the North. Every night you told me a little more of the story, until I became sleepy enough to seek my blanket.’

 ‘As he tells the stories to his own Faramir,’ Diamond said softly. ‘Long have the Rangers watched over the Shire-folk, and until recently we never knew of their own tireless vigilance.’

Hilly looked up at that, at Men being compared to the Tooks who'd kept the ruffians out of Tookland during the Troubles. Surely the Rangers' duty had not been so dire as the hobbits’ had been, for the Tooks had been resisting creatures twice their size!

 ‘There are Men of virtue, cousin, as well as the other,’ Pippin said quietly, following Hilly’s thought. ‘Else we would not sit here this day.’

 ‘All Men are ruffians, eh, Hilly?’ Merry said, one corner of his mouth twisting.

 ‘I never said...’ Hilly protested.

 ‘Nay, ‘tis Ferdi who says such,’ Pippin said easily. ‘And in truth, I believed Strider, here, to be amongst the worst of the lot when first we met.’

Arwen laughed. ‘So I’ve heard,’ she said. ‘And I’d believe, after seeing him come home from a campaign in the field, or a hunting trip...!’

 ‘It would hardly be practical to haul a bath along,’ Elessar said lightly, ‘and unlike the Shire, where an inn is to be found every few miles...’

 ‘Yes, Shire-folk are much more civilised than our Large counterparts,’ Pippin said serenely, and Samwise nearly choked on the sweet biscuit he was nibbling, that had been thrust into the frozen beaten cream.

 ‘Indeed,’ Elessar said gravely. ‘I fear one or more of my Counsellors must accompany me to the Lake, to offer advice on such matters.’

 ‘Where is Ferdi?’ Freddy said. ‘I thought you wanted him here, to change his opinion of Men in general by introducing him to some of the more upright amongst them.’

 ‘Dratted healers,’ Hilly muttered under his breath. Ferdi really did ought to be here!

Pippin nodded at Hilly and turned to Freddy. ‘They didn’t like the sound of his lungs after that bad spell,’ he said. ‘Wanted to keep him tucked up right there in Pincup, but I was able to convince them to wrap him up in cotton wool and take him back to the Great Smials at the very least, where my sister could sit upon him in the comfort of her own apartments.’

 ‘You might have brought him here, to the healing hands of the King,’ Merry said.

 ‘Speaking of healing hands, you are going to put Merry right, are you not, Strider?’ Pippin said. He was always one to speak his mind. If he had his way they’d rise from table and get right down to business.

 ‘I had noticed,’ the King said gravely.

 ‘But he was too polite to say anything,’ Estella said, reaching past Merry and Diamond to give Pippin a nudge.