Thranduil held his son for a moment longer, thanking the Valar for his safe return. This was not the first time Legolas’ life had been at risk, nor the first time Thranduil had not slept at night for fear that his son would not return. The time of the Quest has been infinitely worse - there had been times when Thranduil had wondered if life was worth fighting for if he lost his son. Was there any reason to persist against the Shadow if his son would not be there to fight by his side? In comparison to that awful time, this incident was a minor one at best. But that did not change the sheer relief that Thranduil felt as he held his son to his heart.

His son was home – where he belonged. And Ilúvatar help those who tried to take him away.

“Welcome home, Legolas.” Thranduil squeezed his not-so-tiny son’s shoulders one last time before reluctantly turning to the rest of the elves. He had other elves to see to, other duties to attend to; he could not stay here with his son in his arms, protecting him against all harm no matter how much he wished it. Even Kings could not make time stand still.

Thranduil lifted his eyes to take in the rest of the party, finally coming to rest on Rhinure. She was still astride her horse, hood down and eyes blank. However, she could not hide her fatigue from Thranduil’s sharp eyes. Her posture lacked the usual elven grace he had come to expect from her. He could see that she was tired and probably in pain, no matter how little her face gave away. But then, even that was to be expected. When Thranduil had heard that Rhinure had been injured he knew that would not stop her from riding. In anticipation, he had given orders for rooms to be prepared for her and her entire company.

“Welcome back, Princess.” Thranduil walked over to Rhinure, helping her off her horse before she could protest. He firmly placed her on the ground, eyes telling her that this was not the time to display her stubborn pride.

Rhinure squared her shoulders and allowed this indignity – if only because she did not have the strength to protest. Arguing with Thranduil required presence of mind, which unfortunately she was running low on. The two-day march home had exhausted her – avoiding Legolas’ concern had not helped either. She needed time to herself if she hoped to purge the ache in her heart.

“Thank you, my King.” Rhinure fell silent, not knowing what Thranduil expected her to say.

“You seem tired, my Lady. I have prepared your rooms so that you may rest.”

“I do not need to rest, my Lord. My company needs to be housed and taken care of first.”

Thranduil sighed, one would have thought that he would have been used to such stubbornness from young elves – Legolas had provided ample practise after all - but it was frustrating nonetheless. “Your Company will be housed next to the Prince’s Company. We have prepared food and beds for them as well. If they need medical attention, my Healers are waiting.”

Rhinure blinked, if she had not been so tired she would have realised that Thranduil would have made preparations for her Avari as well. Or so she told herself. She almost glanced back, looking for Ehtewen’s presence – the First Guard always knew how to handle such situations – before she remembered that Ehtewen was still unconscious from the drugs.

Thranduil watched as Rhinure swallowed whatever words had come to her lips, noting the flash of grief that went through those dark eyes. He looked past her shoulder to where Ehtewen lay and deduced the reason for her sudden withdrawal.

“Does Lady Ehtewen recover?”

“I believe so, my Lord. The Healer assured me that she is out of danger. However, a few more days of rest are advisable.”

*~ No matter how much she might object. ~*

“Then we must see her to her rooms and make sure she gets her rest, should we not?” Thranduil smiled and offered his arm to his daughter. It would take some getting used to, but this elleth was family now.

Rhinure glanced at the offered arm and back up to Thranduil. He seemed genuine in his offer to help. Maybe she should trust him.

If her grip was a little tentative, Thranduil chose not to comment.

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Legolas watched his wife and father walk behind Ehtewen’s stretcher. The First Guard was still asleep and would probably remain so for another few hours. As per Rhinure’s request, the Avari were moving Ehtewen to her quarters. He could see the care they took in handling her – it bordered on tenderness, all the more surprising when coming from such veteran fighters. Legolas shook his head slightly, the Avari resisted classification whenever possible making it very frustrating for the young Prince.

Take his wife, for example, she seemed perfectly at ease walking hand-in-hand with his father. Her hand rested lightly on Thranduil’s forearm as she bent her head forward slightly to catch what the King was saying. Legolas curbed the slight irritation he felt with both elves, knowing it to be unreasonable. Just because his wife was ignoring him in favour of her father-in-law did not justify Legolas’ impatience. He needed to get some rest himself so he could deal with this situation in a clear, collected manner.

Legolas sighed quietly, he had thought he was beginning to understand Rhinure but she had managed to shut him out again. He still did not understand how she managed to do that, let alone why. Legolas massaged his temple slightly, trying to stop the throbbing. He felt like screaming, it was only centuries of patience that allowed him to continue following his wife – and father.

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

As Thranduil talked with Rhinure his sharp ears picked up the sound of his son’s footfalls and he knew that something was wrong. Legolas was in pain – Thranduil could almost feel it in his bones. After years of listening to his son’s light steps and fluid movements Thranduil knew this heavy tread was unnatural. It told him that his son was unhappy and trying desperately to push the feeling aside. Every step that echoed in the hall reminded him that Legolas was too burdened to watch where he was walking.

Thranduil glanced down at Rhinure’s dark head, never breaking the flow of his words. She had caused this pain in him – or at least she had worsened the pain that already wounded him. Thranduil was sure of it, and he did not know whether to blame her or pity her. Blame her for hurting his beloved son, and pity for rejecting the help and sympathy he so plainly offered.

Thranduil could not decide who was the more wounded one of the pair – Legolas who wore his heart out where those who knew him best could see his suffering, or Rhinure who hid it so deep that even she forgot that it existed? Maybe both.

 “I heard about the losses you suffered, my Lady.” Thranduil said softly.

Rhinure looked up, waiting for the inevitable expressions of sorrow and pity. Thranduil would apologise meaninglessly, forcing her to think about the infinite “what-ifs” that plagued her.

“They will be missed.” Thranduil added. What more could he say to someone who had lost family?

“Yes they will, my Lord. They were good fighters.”

Thranduil was tempted to ask if that was all but he remained silent. Each had their own way of dealing with pain. Maybe Rhinure’s was to ignore the loss she had suffered – cut it down until it became something that she could handle. It would be similar to how he dealt with loss.

“My Lord?” Rhinure soft voice brought him back to the present.

“Yes, my Lady?”

“I wish to have the funerals for the fallen Avari today.”

Thranduil nodded, “If that is what you wish.”

Rhinure struggled to keep her voice even, “That is what I wish. The sooner the service is held the sooner we may … move on.”

*~ The sooner I may grieve. ~*

“An admirable sentiment, my Lady,” Thranduil stopped outside Ehtewen’s rooms, “We will leave you now my Lady. I better see to the preparations for the service.”

Rhinure looked up from where Ehtewen lay on the bed, “There is no need to bother yourself with it, my Lord. Istion and Arandur will see to it - with your permission of course.”

“Which they have, my Lady.”

Thranduil heard Legolas come up behind him. Rhinure looked over the King’s shoulder to where her husband stood. She saw the weariness in his eyes, the sapphire colour having faded to a dull blue.

“My Lord.” Legolas focused on Rhinure when he realised that she addressed him. Rhinure had to take another breath before she was able to continue, “You seem tired, my Lord. You should get some rest yourself.”

“Aye, my Lady. I am tired.” Legolas said quietly, eyes not moving from Rhinure’s pale face.

For a moment, both gazed at each other, trying to figure out where they should go from here. The silent tableau was broken when Ehtewen shifted in her bed. Rhinure’s eyes immediately flew to her First Guard and Legolas knew that he had lost her again.

Thranduil placed a hand on Legolas’ shoulder, telling him to leave Rhinure alone for now. Legolas nodded and followed his father down the Hall.

 x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

“So what happened?” Thranduil asked when out of earshot.

“We were attacked.”

“I gathered as much. How did they get past the Patrol?”

“I cannot say, Ada. But it is not a good sign. For such a large party to get past our patrols does not speak well of our patrols.”

“Did Princess Rhinure indicate any foreknowledge?” Thranduil asked flatly, wife or not Thranduil was not about to trust her just yet.

Legolas hesitated for a moment, this was his wife Thranduil was suspecting, “I do not believe so.”

“But?”

“Why are you so sure that there is a ‘but’, Ada?”

Thranduil looked at his son, a calculating expression on his face, “I am your father, Legolas not the other way around. I know you better than you know yourself. There is always a but when you answer in that tone of voice.”

Legolas sighed, wishing he had a less observant father. It would help on occasion, “But – Lady Rhinure was travelling with an offensive party which might be taken as evidence that she suspected some sort of attack.”

“Have you asked her about it?”

“I have not had the time and I did not think I would get much of an answer from her.”

“Because of her grief or because she does not trust us enough to be open with us?”

 Legolas arched a brow at Thranduil’s use of the word ‘grief’ but even in this case it seemed as if his father was ever perceptive. “Probably both.”

“What is your opinion?”

Legolas took some time to organise his thoughts; the last few days had been spent in such worry that he had not much time to think about what had happened or why. “I think that Lady Rhinure lost too much in this attack. It does not seem likely that she knew of it.”

“But it is possible?”

“My King, with the Avari, anything is possible.”

“Do you think she had a hand in the attack?”

“No.” Legolas response was automatic and Thranduil was pleased to note, vehement. He trusted his son’s instincts and they were telling him that while Rhinure might not be completely honest, neither was she guilty.

“She would not betray us.”

“Then how did the orcs get past our defences? I take it for granted that the trees did not give you advance warning.”

“They did not, my Lord.”

“Then the orcs had to have help in penetrating our borders.”

Legolas gritted his teeth, not liking Thranduil’s conclusion but not able to disprove it either. “It is a probable scenario.”

“Then, for now, Lady Rhinure will have to be watched.”

“Ada, …but – ”

“I know, nín ion, you do not suspect her. But she is not as forthcoming as she might be and I do not approve of that.”

“We are not forthcoming with her either.” Legolas felt obliged to point out, remembering the tiny fist that had clutched at his tunic, seeking reassurance.

“No we are not, little one. I do not doubt that she disapproves of us as well.”

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Thranduil laced his fingers together, thinking over what Legolas had told him. He was not sure how to react to Rhinure’s offer of having an Avari funeral for the Silvan elf. It could be a genuinely altruistic offer or it could be a way to ingratiate the Avari with the Wood-elves. Thranduil did not want to believe that Rhinure would be so calculating, but then he could not deny that it would be a fitting strategy.

And her offer of the cloak – Thranduil eyebrows dipped down in a frown. He was torn. On the one hand he felt happy for Arandur, an Elf he had come to respect. On the other, he did not want Arandur’s loyalties to be confused. He was Captain of the Home Guard; his first priority was Mirkwood. If Thranduil could not be certain of that, then Arandur would have to be replaced.

Never in two thousand years has Arandur given Thranduil cause to doubt his loyalty. The Avari had been good allies – as far as they could be called allies. Thranduil had never regretted his decision in allowing them into Mirkwood; he would be crushed if that decision were proved wrong. After all, two thousand years was not a long time for the Elves.

Thranduil would have to be more careful.

“You are not pleased, Ada by her offer.”

“I will not say that I am displeased, just unsure about what my reaction should be.”

“You think she had some ulterior motive?”

“Do you not think so as well?”

“No, Ada I do not,” Legolas’ voice was grave. “You did not see the sorrow that she hid. She hurts, Ada. She understands what it is to lose, she would not mock the dead elf’s family by using their loss for political gain.”

“I cannot deny that it is a possibility, Legolas.”

“Then you are wrong, Ada.”

Thranduil looked at his son, Legolas face was calm. There was no anger, no irritation in his face. He truly believed this to be true. “Do you have so much faith in her?”

Legolas raised haunted blue eyes to his father’s face, “It is not a matter of faith, Ada. I know what I saw. No matter how much she denies it, I saw the anguish in her.”

“Child, someone who has the strength to drive a blade in her uncle’s heart has enough strength to disregard a stranger’s pain. Please hear me out. I am not saying she made the offer purely because she thought it to be expedient, but it is a possibility. She is a ruler; she must look after her people. If offering a funeral service for a dead elf ingratiates her with us, then I believe she would take that opportunity.”

“Would you?”

Thranduil closed his eyes. He had hoped that Legolas would not have asked him that. “Yes.”

*~ The living are always more important than the dead. ~*

“For my people, I would do that and more.”

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Silence prevailed in the room as Legolas looked at his father. Thranduil found himself unable to meet his son’s eyes. He did not want to see the accusation in them.

Legolas did not say anything until Thranduil looked back at him. “Ada, I do not believe you would have been so cold.”

“Son, it is not a matter of being cold. It is a matter of looking after the well-being of the many and not the one.”

“Ada, sometimes there is a greater imperative then looking after one’s people. It is an impulse that is stronger than our duty to our people – it makes us who we are. You may call it our ‘goodness’, whatever it is that makes us Elves. You have it in you and so does Rhinure.

“When she offered to have that funeral she was not thinking of her people, or the advantage to herself. She was thinking of the Elf who had died, of the family he left behind. To think of anything less at that moment would have been dishonourable.”

Thranduil could not think of any words to shake the conviction in Legolas’ eyes – and in all honesty, he did not want to. Legolas’ faith in him and his wife was soothing.

“Ada, I am your son. Sometimes, just sometimes, I know you better than you know yourself. You would not have been so cold.”

 x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

“No, my Prince. I do not want to have an Avari funeral for my husband.” Goodwife Midhwen shook her head again, ignoring Legolas’ appeal. Her fingers clenched and unclenched against her shawl, while her other hand stroked the head of her eldest son.

“Will you not reconsider? Lady Rhinure will be able to offer him a funeral when we cannot. We did not recover his body.” Legolas tried once again.

“With all due respect to you and the Princes, I know this, my Lord. You cannot bring him back. And I will not sully his sprit by having an Avari funeral for him.”

Legolas’ eyes narrowed at that comment but he did not say anything. Midhwen was in pain; she knew not what she said.

“I am sorry, my Lord. I do not mean to offend your Lady …”

“But you will still treat her offer with suspicion.” The words just spilled out of Legolas, he had not realised that the common people were so opposed to the Avari.

Midhwen looked helplessly at Legolas and then at Faelon who stood next to the Prince. She did not want to offend, but she could not do this. The Avari were traitors, she would not let her husband’s memory be tainted – it was all she had.

Faelon stepped forward, trying one more time, “Midhwen, for how long have you known me?”

“For such a long time, that time loses meaning,” Midhwen managed a weak smile.

“Then will you not trust me when I say that this will not sully your husband’s fea?”

“You cannot be sure of that. You cannot be sure that Mandos will accept his fea if traitors have handled it. You cannot be sure.”

“The Valar are compassionate, they would not make your husband pay for what the Avari did a long time ago.”

“Please, Faelon. I do not want this. I want my husband back, I want him here with his son and me. Where he should be. Barring that, I want to honour his memory as I see fit. Do not take that away from me.”

Faelon made to say something, but Legolas silenced him. “If that is what you wish, then we will not oppose you.” Legolas bowed to the distraught elleth. This was not the proper place or time to convince his people that the Avari were allies. He had hoped that Rhinure’s offer would be met with gratitude, but he was mistaken.

When he had approached Midhwen he had not been expecting the elleth to be so reluctant. Her fury at the suggestion has shocked him – the aching loss behind that anger had made him want to weep. And now he had to tell Rhinure that her offer had been refused.

“Lady Midhwen?”

All three Wood-elves turned at the sound of Agorion’s voice. The Avari had not said anything during this exchange. Legolas has been reluctant to let him accompany Faelon and himself, but he figured that since Rhinure has made the offer it was only fair to let an Avari be present. He should have listened to his first instinct – Agorion’s presence had only angered Midhwen further, allowing her a target for the fury she felt. The fact that he did not move or show any remorse under her accusations did not help.

And now he spoke?

Agorion stepped forward, holding a blade in his hand. “This is your husband’s sword. The Avari believe that a person’s Blade, his weapon, helps the survivors in remembering. I do not know if you are willing to accept it from an Avari but Mistress Rhinure wished you to have this.”

Midhwen took the sword in her hand, holding it tightly in her hands, wide eyes never leaving the dark elf’s face. She wanted to believe him; maybe this would help her remember. Maybe it would help sooth the ache in her heart.

“As long as you remember, he will never leave you.” Agorion said quietly. He bowed, as Legolas has done and turned around, walking away from the house.

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Legolas and Faelon looked at the Avari walking beside them. He seemed absolutely calm considering that Midhwen had accused his race of being traitors.

Finally, Faelon could not stand it any longer, “Agorion, I am sorry for what Midhwen said.”

Agorion turned but did not slacken his pace, “Why do you apologise? You did not say the words.”

“Not all Wood-Elves think that way.”

“That is good to know.”

“Are you not angry?” Faelon wondered at these strange Elves. He had been angry at Midhwen’s words and they had not been directed at him.

“I have no right to be angry. If she believed her words, then I cannot fault her.”

Faelon shook his head; such forbearance was beyond him.

Legolas was quick to note that Agorion did not answer the question. He might not have the justification, but that did not mean that he was not wounded.

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

The funeral preparations were completed by evening. There was not much that had to be prepared – all the Avari required was some wood to burn the Blades’ sheath. The delay had been allowed so that Ehtewen could attend. As Legolas approached the compound that the Avari occupied he was not surprised to note that the First Guard stood next to Rhinure.

Rhinure looked up when she heard Legolas approach. She was surprised to note that he was accompanied by Thranduil and some of Elves from Legolas’ Company.

“My Lady, I hope you do not mind if we remain during the ceremony.”

“You may stay if that is what you wish, my Lord. None of the Avari have any objections.” And if they did, Rhinure’s glare silenced them.

The Silvan Elves stood to one side, prominent against the sea of black. Every Avari, even Arandur wore their black cloaks, though all wore their hoods down.

Three Avari Elves stepped forward to place the black sheaths on the altar of wood constructed in the middle of the compound. As they stepped back, Ehtewen handed a flaming brand to Rhinure. Her hand was completely steady.

Rhinure stepped forward and held the flame to the altar, making sure that the wood burned before she stepped back.

“With these flames, we honour the memory of those we have lost – Morion, Amar and Tathren. May they find peace that was denied to them in life.”

Rhinure stepped back as Ehtewen handed her the Avari Blades. One by one, she covered them with a plain black cloth. As she did this she said, “With these Blades, we remember what we once had. May we find peace that is denied to us in life.”

When Rhinure turned back to the silent Avari, the flames were merrily licking the wood. The flames illuminated her face against the dark sky. It was calm, like all the others. Not one tear, or red eye could be seen. “We remember.”

The Avari brought their fists up to their hearts, eyes never leaving Rhinure’s face.

“May we always remember.”

The silence was deafening as each Avari’s eyes turned to the flames in front of them

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Legolas watched Rhinure as she watched her Avari. Most of them looked at the flames, lost in their own thoughts and grieving in their own manner. She would have to wait until they were done.

One of the Avari stepped forward to the flames, pulling up her hood. As she bowed her head, Legolas thought that he heard her say something, but he could not make out the words. As sudden as the action had been, it was over. The elleth left the compound disappearing in the shadows.

“She paid her last respects to the fallen. Now she retires to be alone with her thoughts.” Arandur explained softly.

Legolas watched as other Avari stepped forward, sometimes in pairs, sometimes alone. Each pulled up his hood and said something.

Legolas turned to the Captain, making sure his voice was low, “What do they say?”

“Whatever they wish. It is not for us to know what their last words to the departed are.”

Legolas nodded, watching the silent procession of Avari. Rhinure did not move. “Will she not say something as well?”

“She will, but only when the flames have burned down. It is custom for the Sacrifice to remain till the end.”

“Will any of the others stay with her?”

“If they so wish. Most do not, it is … difficult to stay for long.”

Legolas noticed the hesitation, causing him to look more carefully at the Captain. “How long will you stay for?”

“Not too long.” Arandur turned away from the accusation in Legolas’ eyes, “I cannot.”

*~ I do not abandon her. I cannot stay. I need to mourn and I cannot do so here. ~*

Legolas accepted the explanation for what it was. He knew Arandur wished to be alone, and probably Rhinure did as well. But unlike the Captain, she did not have a choice. Her duty compelled her to remain while the rest of her Avari left her. At that moment, Legolas wanted nothing more than to hold Rhinure in his arms and hide her from the rest of the world.

Hours passed and the shadows darkened but the flames still burned. Arandur finally left as well, after asking permission from Thranduil.

Legolas turned when Thranduil tapped him on the shoulder, “We retire as well, my son. Will you come with us?”

Legolas shook his head, “I cannot leave her.”

Thranduil nodded and left to pay his last respects to the Avari who had died protecting his son.

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Istion watched the flames burn the wood and the leather and felt his eyes burn as well. The flames were painful in their brightness but he did not flinch. His eyes remained focused on the spot where Morion’s sheath had rested.

 He need to leave, he needed to be alone.

He turned to Rhinure, silently telling her that he must leave as well. He would break down if he stayed any longer. She nodded slightly, understanding the compulsion to weep very well. If she could not indulge herself, then she would at least allow that comfort to Istion.

Istion approached the flames, drawing his hood so that he was alone with the pyre.

“Jab tak yea mitti garam rehe gi, yea jism taaza rehe ga – tum yaad aao ge.”

(As long as this earth remains warm and this body remains bright – you will be remembered)

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Rhinure noted that Ehtewen was none to steady on her feet. “You should go and get some rest.”

Ehtewen immediately straightened herself, “I will not leave you.”

“You should go.” Rhinure turned back to the flames, eyes dead.

Ehtewen sighed and knew that Rhinure was right. No matter how much she might want to stay, her body would not allow it. She approached the pyre, not really knowing what to say and who to say it too. She had seen Amar and Tathren grow up from tiny little Elflings. She had taught Tathren her first lesson in swordplay and bandaged her first wound. She had held Amar’s first child in her arms as he had fussed over his tired wife.

There was too much to say.

And Morion – where was she to find the words to say anything to him? There was not enough time for her to say what she needed to say. Morion, her ally, her comrade – her friend. In the end only that was important – he was her friend. And he would be missed.

“Bus ek bar jago ke me tumhe gale laga kar alvida kar sakoan.”        

(Wake just once so that I may hold you to my heart and say goodbye)

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

The wood finally burnt to ashes in the middle of the night some time. For hours, Rhinure had remained in front of the pyre, not moving, not crying – honouring the deceased by her adherence to duty. She would see this through.

But it was getting harder as every minute passed.

As the last flame died out, Rhinure finally stepped in front of the pyre. Finally, it was her turn to say goodbye. As she bent her head, she heard the sounds of feet approaching her. She looked up to see Legolas’ concerned eyes looking at her.

“You did not leave.”

“I could not.”

Rhinure nodded, turning back to the now smouldering ashes. As she pulled her hood up, she caught Legolas looking at her. But she did not let that distract her - she needed to say goodbye. This would be her last chance, she did not want thoughts of Legolas to take that away from her.

“Labhoan pay jo aiee hai baat, mujhe poori karne do. Abhi umeed bhi zinda hai, ghamm bhi taaza hai. Abhi to jeena ka har ek zakham taaza hai. Chachu muhje maaf kar dey na.”

(Let me say the words that have come to my lips. Right now hope is alive in me but the pain is fresh too. Right now, each and every sorrow of living is fresh in me. Forgive me, uncle.)

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Legolas walked beside Rhinure wanting to comfort her but not knowing how. When they finally reached the rooms Legolas was surprised to see none of her Guards outside her room.

“My Lady, your Guards do not patrol tonight?” 

“Not tonight my Lord. Not tonight.” Rhinure’s voice was so tired that Legolas tried to take her in his arms. But before he could, she stepped back, not allowing him to touch her.

“I am tired, my Lord. I wish to retire for the night.”

Legolas swallowed the lump in his throat, “As you wish, my Lady.”

x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x

Legolas entered his room but he found that he could not fall asleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he found Rhinure’s eyes looking at him – accusing him for leaving her alone. Finally, he could not stay in bed any longer. Almost flinging himself out of bed, he carelessly threw on a robe and walked towards the balcony. Maybe Rhinure would still be awake.

As he approached the curtains separating the balcony from her room, Legolas wondered if he should leave Rhinure alone. She might not appreciate having him intrude. But as he turned around, he remembered Rhinure standing alone in front of the fire and found that his feet refused to move. Maybe he should try and see her, if she did not want his company then, and only then, would he go back to his bed.

The decision was taken away from Legolas when Rhinure yanked the curtains aside and stepped onto the balcony, eyes pinning Legolas to the spot.

“I wanted to see how you were doing, my Lady.”

“I am fine, as you can see.”

She did not seem fine to him but Legolas decided to remain silent when she turned her furious black eyes on him. This has not been a good idea – but Legolas could not leave now, not after seeing her in such turmoil. However, she was clearly not in the mood to talk.

Legolas watched as she stalked over to the balcony, leaning her palms on the cold stone. Her fist clenched the balustrade until Legolas was afraid she would snap the stone into two. She was definitely angry, probably at him for interrupting her rest. When he joined her, she took a small step away from her. His heart clenched when he heard her softly say Morion’s name.

Maybe her anger was more serious – could she be angry at him for the part he played in Morion’s death? Did she blame him for what happened?

“I am sorry, my Lady.” Legolas regretted apologising as soon as the words had left his mouth. Rhinure would not appreciate it.

“For what my Lord?”

“For your loss, and for my part in it,” Legolas said softly.

“What do you speak of?” Rhinure turned from the view to look at Legolas.

“Do you not blame me for Morion’s death?”

This time Rhinure could not keep her emotions in check. The shock was clear; “No, I do not blame you for Morion’s death!” Legolas winced at her enraged tone. He tried to calm her by taking her hand in his, but that only seemed to worsen the situation. Rhinure almost yanked her hand away turning back to the face the grounds.

They remained side by side for a while, neither speaking - Legolas trying to find a way out of this awkward situation and Rhinure too angry to trust herself to speak.

Neither knew how much time had passed before Rhinure broke silence, “If there is anyone to blame, my Lord, it is I. I am responsible for his death.”

Legolas stepped closer to her, and this time she did not pull away. “How did you come to such a conclusion, my Lady?”

“It was I who ordered him to save you. It was my orders which led to his death – therefore it is my fault Morion died.”

“It is not your fault, you did not know that the Orc would run him through.”

“You are wrong, my Lord. I had a pretty good idea that he would not have enough time to defend himself. It was a choice between you and him – and I made it. I chose you.”

*~ And Ilúvatar help me – given the choice again, I would still choose you. ~*

Legolas heart turned over at the sadness in her voice. He took her in his arms, enveloping her in his arms, as he had wanted to do since the morning – as he had wanted since he found her lying unconscious on that bed.

Rhinure rested her head on his chest, so tired of this whole mess. It was so easy to let him hold her and pretend that nothing was wrong. She closed her eyes. “Do you know the last thing he said to me?”

“What?”

“He said thank you. He thanked me – me, the elleth who had him killed. He thanked me.”

Legolas’ arms tightened around her slender frame, crushing her to him, not allowing her to move. “You did not kill him, the Orcs did. They were at fault – not you. Do not blame yourself for what happened – ever.”

Rhinure found it difficult to breath, Legolas’ arms were so tight around her, but she did not mind. They made her feel safe – much like Morion’s arms did a long time ago.

“Did you know, my first memory is of Morion? Of him holding me when I was but a small Elfling?”

Legolas shook his head, letting her speak.

“My father died when I was young so I never knew him. And my mother … Morion looked after me, not matter what, he looked after me. When I decided to become Sacrifice he supported my decision when nobody else would. He always told me that if I believed it to be the right decision then it was right.”

“I remember my first patrol – I was injured, poisoned. Morion did not sleep for a week tending to my injuries. I would have died if it had not been for him. I owed him my life and I repaid him by taking his.”

“Rhinure – no. Do not do this to yourself.”

Rhinure shuddered at the sound of her name on Legolas’ lips. It was the first time he had ever called her by it – just plain ‘Rhinure’ – no title, no barriers – just her name. It was an intoxicating sound, almost enough to make her forget her pain.

And that, more than anything frightened Rhinure.

She abruptly stepped back from the Legolas’ arms. “I cannot … I need … Goodnight, my lord.”

Rhinure tried to step past him, back to her rooms but he caught her arm holding her back. “Rhinure, please …”

Rhinure could not stop the trembling that Legolas’ presence caused but she managed to keep her voice calm, “Leave me be, my Lord. I need to return to my room.”

Legolas looked into her black eyes and saw the pain bleed through the ice. He let go of her arm, not having the strength to force her. He could not see her in such pain.

Rhinure walked into her room, steps steady though her heart beat rapidly. She closed the curtains behind her, not sparing another glance at Legolas. She knew her resolve would not hold if she saw his eyes again – if she heard her name again. Part of her wanted nothing more than to break down in front of him, but the more sensible part of her – the dominant part – would not let her dishonour herself in such a fashion.

But not even that dominant part of her could stop the silent tears that ran down her cheeks now that she was alone.

*~ Forgive me. ~*

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