Chapter 4: The Road Ahead

Frodo was still sleeping and for a long moment, Sam just stood there, looking at him, loathe to disturb his rest. The once and future Ring-bearer was frowning slightly, his right hand clutched lightly around Arwen’s gem, but what took Sam’s breath away and held him transfixed was how beautiful his master looked. The light was shining ever brighter from him and the young gardener was glad to see it as he knew how sorely Frodo suffered from the darkness and continued to do so, but it frightened him too. He had believed since childhood that there was something very special about his Mr. Frodo and it seemed to be coming clearer. Sam didn’t know what it all meant, but he was afraid that soon his master would leave him, return to whatever lovely place he had come from, never to grace this earth again. He knelt down at Frodo’s bedside and stroked his curls gently. “Wake up, dear. It’s time to eat.”

He continued his stroking until Frodo woke. Frodo did so suddenly, the last wisps of peace fleeing before him as wakefulness took full hold, but he still managed to smile at Sam and then came aware of the delicious smells coming from the dining room. He sat up. “Sam, thank you. It smells wonderful. I don’t imagine we will be having many more meals like this in the days to come.”

Sam returned his master’s smile. “You never know.”

Frodo laughed and Sam’s heart soared to hear it. It was a soothing balm to the continued worries he had about his dearest friend.

“Oh, my dear, hopeful, wonderful Sam, I am so glad you are with me,” Frodo said.

“Like I’d be anywhere else. But just in case this is the last, I’ll make you some extra special ones when we get back to make up for it.”

Frodo sobered as he swung his legs over the bed and stood. “When we get back,” he echoed softly. “I wish I always had your cheerful optimism, Sam.”

“It was the last thing I packed,” the younger hobbit said.

Frodo looked at him, surprised. “Last? I thought it would have been the first.”

“No, last. So it’s the easiest to get at.”

Frodo’s smile returned. “Practical as always, Wise Sam.”

* * *

From the hallway, Sam saw Frodo give one last, longing gaze to his bedroom, then the elder hobbit shut the door firmly and emerged, dressed for the trail. Sam handed him the envelope Gandalf had given him. He had forgotten how heavy such a little thing weighed.

Frodo opened it and saw the Ring on its chain and a note. Sam saw the flickers of quickly passing emotions over the surface of his master’s face as Frodo looked at the poisonous Ring. The elder hobbit’s lips moved as he felt the horror, joy and swiftly following shame that it was his again. He hoped Sam hadn’t figured out what he had voicelessly said, but he knew little or nothing got past his gardener and guardian.

He brought the chain out and put it around his neck. His head bowed down as he felt the drag immediately on his soul, the burning around his neck and he reached out to steady himself against the wall, to re-accustom himself to its weight. He took several deep breaths to try to relieve the pressure that already began its inexorable push to crush him. Sam caught his other arm and Frodo wrapped his hand around Sam’s arm tightly. He raised his head and pulled at the chain as though adjusting it could make it lighter. “It’s so heavy already,” he said. How could he have felt joy at having this again? Have I gone mad, at last? Oh, Gandalf, how could you trust me with this again? And Sam, dear Sam, how will you bear it as you have to watch it take me?

Sam looked at the Ring. “I wish I could carry it for you this time. Couldn’t I just for a little while at least?” he asked, even as he heard Gandalf’s warning him of that echoing in his mind.

“No!” Frodo said sharply, drawing away from Sam abruptly, then when he saw the hurt in his beloved friend’s eyes, he said more softly, “No, Sam. Thank you, but you don’t know what you are asking.”

“I know enough. I can see what it’s doing to you, even now, so soon.”

“That’s why I can’t let you have it, even for a little bit. You must be kept apart from its corruption. I’m afraid of many things happening again on this trip, but one thing that must remain the same is that the Ring be my burden only. I can’t bear the thought of what it would do to you.”

“And I can’t stand the thought of what it’s doing to you. I carried for it a little while when I thought you had died. I think I did all right then.”

“No, Sam. Please understand. I can’t let it touch you.” Frodo looked into Sam’s eyes which as always shone with love and compassion and put his hand on the younger hobbit’s shoulder. “I need you now more than ever just as you are. You may have to carry me a lot further this time.”

Sam covered Frodo’s hand with his own. “If I have to, my dear, I will. I hate that we have to do this again and I hate more than anything that you have to be the one to have to wear that terrible thing again, but I promise you that one way or another we will make it there and back again. I will bring you home safely.”

Frodo smiled at the strong conviction in his beloved friend’s voice, a voice strengthened by the courage Sam gathered like a cloak around them both to keep them safe. “I know, Sam. I could have no better friend.”

Sam blushed. To cover his discomfort, he said, “What does Mr. Gandalf’s note say?” he asked.

Frodo squeezed his friend’s shoulder, then let go and opened up the piece of paper and immediately recognized Gandalf’s writing. Frodo, I am afraid I must attend to some most urgent business that has suddenly arisen. I will meet you at the Prancing Pony as we planned to last time. I’ve sent word already to Aragorn to watch out for you there. He may even meet you on the way. If not, don’t forget to ask for him as Strider. If I’m not at Bree, wait no more than a day, then make haste, with or without me. I will join you as soon as I am able. With any luck, I will be already there to meet you.

“That’s what you said last time,” Frodo murmured and closed the note.

“I beg your pardon?” Sam inquired.

Frodo looked up at Sam and pushed away his thoughts. “Nothing. Gandalf will meet us at Bree.” I hope.

“I hope we won’t have so much rain this time,” Sam said. “It’s great for the flowers, but I’d rather have a dry spell myself.”

“You didn’t even mention that you hoped there would be no Black Riders either,” Frodo teased with a smile. “Rain I can handle.”

Sam looked mock-hurt. “That goes without saying. Now, let’s eat before it all gets cold.”

Sam pulled out a chair for his master before sitting himself. He looked out the window as he placed his napkin on his lap. “At least it looks like it’s going to be a good day to set out.”

Frodo smiled. For a long time, he just watched Sam eat, thinking how much his friend meant to him, how he was always cheerful, even near the end, how he was his light in dark places when all other lights went out, how that dear heart had never ceased to hope and to love and to forgive...again and again and again.

Sam noticed that his master wasn’t eating. “What is it?”

“I don’t deserve you, Sam,” Frodo said softly.

“Well, I don’t deserve you, either,” the young gardener rejoined, determined to brighten his master’s mood, “but I’m afraid we’re stuck together. There’s nothing for it. We’ll just have to put up with each other, I guess.”

Frodo laughed out loud. “Oh, my dear Sam, what would I ever do without you?”

“You’re never going to find out.” He motioned to the untouched food. “Now go and eat something, me dear. Please.”

Sam watched as Frodo did and when he was satisfied that his master would continue on his own, he resumed eating as well. He glanced down at the Ring around his master’s neck. “I wish this was all just another of Mr. Bilbo’s stories that we could just listen to safely near the fire. Wouldn’t it make a wonderful tale? I would have loved to have heard it. I’d be so scared for Frodo, but I’d be cheering him on for being so brave and hoping so hard he’d be all right in the end. And then when it over, we’d be able to go to sleep in our beds, knowing it was just a story.”

Frodo smiled. He sipped his tea. “I’d be cheering Samwise the Brave on myself.”

Sam looked up scandalized. “But, my dear, you’ve got to cheer the hero.”

Frodo looked at his friend and his loving smile widened. “I would be, my Sam. I am even now.”

Uncomfortable with the praise, Sam distracted himself by taking his master’s right hand and caressing the restored finger in amazement. “I hope you don’t lose your finger again. I don’t know how I could bear that a second time.”

Frodo’s fingers curled around his friend’s and he laughed. “You don’t know how you could, dear Sam? Then I hope for your sake, it doesn’t happen.”

“I hope for a lot not to happen again, especially what that wretched thing is doing to you.”

Frodo’s fingers tightened around Sam’s, gathering strength for the journey. “I don’t want to do this again, Sam. I don’t know how I can bear a second time, but I also know I would do it many more times if I had to, to keep you and everyone else safe.”

“As I would willingly carry it for you, to keep you safe.”

Frodo smiled at his friend’s stubbornness. “I know, Sam. Thank you. I’m glad that the one thing that won’t change is that you will be with me, but I’m afraid much else will be worse.”

“Now what kind of talk is that, me dear?” the young gardener chided. “You can’t start out already defeated. You just let your Sam take care of you. Let’s all you need to do. Let him do the rest. He’s not going to leave you for one moment this time.”

“I’m counting on that.”

“It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

Frodo smiled and took another sip of his tea. How like his simple, pure friend to see things always so optimistically. Nothing dampened his sunny deposition for long. It wasn’t a denial of reality, it was changing the way he looked at it. “My dear, sweet Sam, how much I could learn from you,” Frodo said softly.

Sam blushed. “Don’t know what that could be,” he mumbled into his omelette.

The elder hobbit smiled. “I’d give you the list, but it’s so long, we’d never leave.”

“Then you better not start.”

“Maybe I’ll tell you on the way. That might give me enough time.”

Sam looked down and pushed his food around uncomfortably, then he sighed. “Okay, but under one condition.”

Frodo’s smiled widened. “And that would be?”

Sam looked directly into his master’s eyes. “I start first with all I’ve learned from you. If there’s any time left, say after the Ring is good and gone, then you can tell me.”

Frodo’s eyes danced and Sam was for a moment left breathless at the sight. How long had it been since his master had looked so happy? And that he could, today of all days. The younger hobbit barely restrained himself from shouting from sheer joy. He found his answer as to why with Frodo's next words.  “How about if we take turns?  I’ll even let you start.”

Sam laughed softly. “Just eat, dear.”

They sat silently for a while, Sam watching unobtrusively to make sure Frodo continued to eat, Frodo softly smiling in his gratitude to be so well looked after. But after a while, Frodo stopped eating when there was plenty left and Sam looked at him concerned, well familiar with the crease in his master’s brow whenever Frodo was thinking extra hard about something.

“What do you remember from last time, Sam?” Frodo asked softly, looking down at his plate.

“What don’t I remember? It’s that hard to forget any of it,” he said, reaching for a piece of bread.

“Then you know that I will draw Sting on you, that I will abandon you on the stairs and at the very Crack of Doom.”

Sam’s heart ached for the pain in his beloved master’s eyes and voice. “It doesn’t have to happen that way again just because it did last time. I also remember you calling me Samwise the Brave, saying that you wouldn’t have gotten far without me, that you did not abandon me at the end and that you said more than once that you were glad we were together.

“I don’t care what’s going to happen,” Sam continued when Frodo didn’t respond, but stared blankly ahead, lost in his own memories and fears of the past becoming the future. He took his hand again and waited for his master to look at him. “I told you before and I’m telling you now. I will not leave you. Nothing will make me, ’specially not that dratted Gollum or the Ring trying any more of that silliness about trying to separate us.”

Frodo smiled faintly. Silliness indeed.

Sam sighed and returned to eating. “I guess we’re going to be stuck with Slinker and Stinker again, begging your pardon, I know you don’t like those names...”

Frodo looked away and let Sam’s hand go. “I hope so,” he said softly, almost to himself.

Sam looked at him surprised. “You hope so?”

Frodo stared ahead. “I want to save him, Sam.”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t think he can be. I don’t trust him and you shouldn’t either. You know what’s he going to do.”

Frodo looked at his dearest friend and smiled faintly. “Didn’t you say just yesterday that maybe things would be different this time?”

Sam looked uncomfortable for a minute, as though he had been caught in a lie. “Well, I’m not going to put anything past him. And you shouldn’t either.”

“I’m still going to try, Sam. He’s what I could still become. If he can be saved, then so can I.” He smiled. “He doesn’t have someone like you are to me. I want to be that someone.”

“You tried to be before and he wouldn’t let you. You know I will follow you anywhere, me dear, but there are some places even you cannot go,” Sam said. He looked earnestly at his master. “Guard your heart against him. He will only break it.”

Frodo looked at Sam for a long moment. “As you gave me yours and I broke it? I’m so afraid, Sam, that I will break it again.”

Sam’s heart ached for the torment in his master’s voice and eyes. “It would only break if I lost you, but I’ll die myself if it would save you.”

“You can’t do that,” Frodo said. “I’d be lost if I lost you.”

Sam smiled. “Then we’d better make sure we keep an eye on each other.”

“Yes,” Frodo said, “we’ll have to do that.”

Sam poured himself and his master some more tea. “Please eat more, dear,” he pleaded

“Soon there’ll be nothing but lembas bread and you’ll be missing a home cooked meal.”

Frodo broke off his thoughts and smiled at his friend. “Yes, Sam,” he said and obediently applied himself more fervently to his meal.

There was a knock at the door a few minutes later and Merry and Pippin came in. They dropped their packs on the floor and entered the dining room.

“You weren’t actually thinking of trying to leave without us again, were you, Frodo dear?” Merry asked his surprised cousin.

Pippin rubbed his hands together as they approached the table. “Mmmm, mushrooms,” he said and immediately sat down and vigorously applied himself to the meal.

“The thought did cross my mind,” Frodo said as he watched his cousins make themselves comfortable, “though I don’t know why I thought I could. It’s bad enough that I have to bring Sam. I wish I could leave you all, safe and sound at home.”

“And we wish the same thing for you,” Merry said, “but as Sam would say, ‘There’s nothing for it.’. You’re stuck with us, I’m afraid.”

Frodo looked sideways at his faithful gardener and smiled. “Why do I have the feeling another conspiracy was hatched behind my back?”

“Don’t blame, Sam,” Pippin said around a mouthful of omelette. “It’s entirely our Merry’s doing, though Sam was helpful, I must admit.”

Sam blushed. Frodo’s smiled widened, then he clutched both his Sam’s and his Merry’s hands and wished he had a third hand to reach to Pippin. “Well, if you’re sure of this, then I’m very glad to be stuck with all three of you, though if I had any choice about all this, I wouldn’t put any of you through it again.”

Merry and Pippin smiled at each other over Frodo’s head, then at their beloved cousin. Pippin said something unintelligible around the food in his mouth. Frodo smiled. “How many times, dearest Pipsqueak, have I told you not to speak when your mouth is full?”

Pippin swallowed loudly and took a large sip of tea from Frodo’s cup. “I said, we are sure and you don’t have a choice. I could do without the orcs though. Do you think you could manage that, cousin?”

Frodo laughed and Sam smiled. The irrepressible youngest hobbit could always bring a smile to the eldest and for that Sam was glad. “I’ll see what I can do,” Frodo promised.

“We appreciate that, don’t we, Merry?” Pippin asked, around another mouthful.

Merry nodded, his mouth full. The four of them ate the rest of the meal, Pippin eating enough for two. He then rummaged through Frodo’s larder and set aside a few apples and a loaf of bread. “For later,” he said. “You don’t want all this spoiling, do you?”

The others smiled. “Of course not,” Frodo said. “That is so thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t complain when you are so full, you are going to be sick,” Merry said.

“You have to eat when you can,” Pippin replied. “You know how Aragorn starved us last time. I hope he knows better this time or I shall have very cross words to say to him.”

Frodo smiled. “He’s your rightful king now, Pip, I’d be careful.”

“Well, then he should know how to take care of his subjects properly,” the tweenager retorted.

Frodo slipped an arm around his youngest cousin and hugged him close. “I’m glad you are coming with me, ’squeak,” he said.

Pippin hugged his beloved cousin back. “Anything for you, cousin dear.”

Frodo kissed his head quickly, then they got up.

While Sam and the others cleared the table and washed the dishes, Frodo took one last look around and wondered, like last time, when, if, he’d see his home again. He was much less certain this time. He lifted Sam’s pack, then his own. Sam’s was decidedly heavier.

“Sam,” Frodo said when his friends returned from the kitchen, “our packs should be even weight. What can I take to make yours lighter?”

Sam looked a little sheepish. “Well, I decided to add a few things that I know we’ll be needing,” he said and Frodo laughed when a few potatoes were pulled out.

Sam smiled. “You know how much I missed them before,” he continued to explain. “This time I’ll be prepared.”

Frodo saw some of his own clothes in the pack also. “What are these doing in there?” he asked.

Sam suddenly blushed like he had been caught with stolen goods. “I hope you don’t mind...”

“No, Sam, of course not, but...”

“Well, I was thinking, if things go the same way, you’ll be needing them and wouldn’t it be nice to wear your own clothes under that orc armor?”

Frodo smile faltered for a moment as he thought of that horrible time in the tower, but then of Sam coming to him and his smile brightened again. “Thank you, Sam. Yes, it would. That was very thoughtful of you, but let me take them. You don’t need to carry everything.”

“Let me keep them,” Sam said earnestly. “If things do go the same, then you won’t have your pack anymore and I will. I want to be prepared.”

Frodo’s expression grew more tender and his smile widened. “My dear Sam, you’ve thought of everything,” he said and Sam beamed and blushed with the praise.

He then turned his back to his master and Frodo saw him slip in a long roll of cloth bandages into a leather pouch it into his bag. Frodo had the distinct impression Sam didn’t want to know what he was doing.

Oh, Sam, thank you, the elder hobbit thought, remembering how Sam had grieved at the fire that he had nothing to bandage his master’s hand. You really have thought of everything. But I hope you need it.

The four hobbits put on their packs and then Frodo put his arm around Sam and the four of them walked out into the bright sunshine. The door closed behind, the road lay ahead.