Chapter Nine: Birthday Celebrations

Elanor turned two today, my dear. As we celebrated that, we remembered you, as well, for it’s also, of course, the anniversary of your great accomplishment, the day the Ring was destroyed. I wonder if you are thinking of that as well. Are you still suffering from the cold where you are, except on this one day? I remember the only time you were warm here was this anniversary. You couldn’t cool off then, writing in the study that day with the window wide open and I was so afraid you were going to catch a chill, but you insisted you needed the window open, that you were so hot. I feared you had caught a fever somehow, but your forehead did not feel that warm. You went out for a walk that day and I made sure you were all bundled up. I knew, I just knew you wouldn’t stay that way, but I wasn’t able to let you out half-dressed. When you came back, your clothes and hair all damp, and your eyes even worse haunted than they had been before you left, my heart broke. Finally I got you to lay down and sleep.

When I came to you later, to share my joy that Elanor had been born, you were still sleeping. I couldn’t wake you. I couldn’t disturb that peace you so deserved. I didn’t even rouse you for the late dinner we had. The next day, the only time you didn’t shiver was when you held Elanor and the tears in your eyes then were of love and joy, matching my own as much for the light shining from you as for Elanor.

I watched you hold Elanor many other times and seen that light and love return to your eyes, to your whole being. I’ve watched you two asleep, your arms protectively wrapped around her and the both of you so lovely to look at, so completely content with each other. I would have let you hold her forever if it meant I would keep seeing that, that you would keep feeling that peace that came to you when you looked at her, your reward for all you suffered and endured.

Goodnight, dear. Sleep well. I love you, my treasure, so much, so very much.

* * *

Happy birthday, my Sam! I want to thank you for your gift. I have began to heal a little bit more each day and it’s partly because of that song I hear each morning. Today, it was a male Elf singing and it reminded me of you, an Elven you, mind you. I still miss you so much, but I’ve felt since you sang to me on the 13^th that you are still with me. The pain has lessened enough that I can feel that now. I don’t miss you any less, but I can remember you now with a smile, instead of with tears. I can hear your voice and your songs and see your beautiful face aglow with love, whether for me or Rose or Elanor and for Frodo-lad if I’m not mistaken? Has he been born yet? I had a dream that he was. And there will be others, too. Many others, my Sam. You will have your hands full! And your heart will expand ever more with such joy.

Enjoy your day, my dearest, and know that I am thinking of you and wishing you the very best and looking forward to the day I will be able to see you again.

I love you so very much, my brother, so very, very much.