Chapter Fifteen: Peace

The peace continues to grow in me, dear Sam, taking a firmer hold. I can feel myself healing inside and that is a wondrous feeling. You will love it here. I’ve applied myself more to my studies in mastering Quenya and I’ve even started writing a history of the Elven race for you to read when you arrive. It’s a supplement to those that Bilbo told us that always thrilled us when we were younger and dreamed of such high adventures ourselves, when even the tragedies in those tales couldn’t dim our enthusiasm. This is more personal histories of those I have met here and I’ve taken up the challenge of writing the history in Westron and Quenya. So, come, dearest Sam, as soon as you possibly can, but not so soon that I’m not done with your gift! I think it will take me some years to complete and I know that it will be that much time and perhaps much more before you can come, but I can wait. I have much to occupy my time now!

I do much of my writing in the garden. They have the most wonderful ones here, Sam. I can’t wait for you to see them. You will love them! I am optimistic that you will enjoy the one I made for you at our home - yes, ours, dearheart - for the hope is growing all the while that you will come and bless me with your presence once more. I am quite pleased with it myself and I spend many afternoons sitting out on a bench, feeling closer to you, surrounded by plants and flowers you love or will love when you see them, so many of them! I still do not make any pretense that it is as lovely as you and the Gaffer made Bag End and I know it is not as beautiful as the other gardens here, but I am taking great care with it because I want you to love it and know how much I love you too. It’s also given me a much greater respect for you and the Gaffer for all the work it takes to plant a garden and keep it going. I had no idea! But I can see why you loved doing it so much and I love it myself, because I’m doing it for you.

I don’t know all the varieties of the plants and flowers in the other gardens, not yet, but I am going to learn them so when you come, I can impress you with all my knowledge! There are kinds you that I have never seen anywhere, not even in Rivendell or Lothlorien - they have such beauty it takes your breath away. The ones I chose for your garden I did learn all about, their names, how much shade and how much water they like, how and when to prune them so it'll be the best it can be when you came and then it'll become even better when you take over from my brave efforts and turn it into something of real beauty which I hope is something you will like to do.  I can't imagine you not being a gardener and nurturer of all living things, including me.

I don’t go to the beach much anymore. I just come here when I am missing you. It’s very peaceful here, very soothing and I can work here for hours, either writing or having my hands in the soil, touching life and nature that was so much a part of your own nature. Gandalf and my Elven friends helped Bilbo and me plant a cherry tree and an apple tree.

Bilbo spends much of his time talking with the Elves and his writing, a lot of it done in the garden as I work. It is good for me to have him near. We also take walks sometimes, though not as long as used to. He is getting frailer and I know he does not have much time left here. That grieves me and I do not spend much time without being within easy hearing distance of him. But he has healed and he knows I am healing. He is happy, Sam, and so am I or at least much more happy than I am sad.

I also have a small but growing vegetable plot going that keeps me busy. The carrots and lettuce are doing very well and just wait until you taste the mushrooms! Sometimes when I’m done, I’ll just sit on the bench, munch on a apple and remember all the times we went apple picking and how terribly sick we would get sometimes because we ate too many! Those memories, so dear to me and growing more so, give me a smile now instead of tears. My soul is much healed, but I like coming here whenever I can. Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend I’m back at Bag End in the garden you and your father tended to so well and I smile as I hear your pruning shears or your voice gently coaxing and encouraging the plants and flowers to grow. The same loving voice I often heard on the Quest and afterwards, the same one I know your children heard.  You never gave up on anything if you thought it could grow.

I will never be able to tell you how glad I am you never gave up on me either. The words simply do not exist, but, dearest Sam, I can’t wait to have you come so I can at least try. The Shire was the best place in Middle-earth. But this is the best place that is not. Don’t be frightened when you leave, when you see where the boat is going. You are coming to a better place than you can possibly imagine. I  have not ceased to pray that I will be waiting for you, dearest brother mine. I love you so.