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Chapter 19 - For As Long As It Takes

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Cheerful clouds drifted lazily across the pale blue sky of early afternoon, and Estella sighed, wondering if those same clouds had long before passed over wherever her Merry was.

"My Merry," she whispered, her chest tightening slightly.

Four months had never passed by so slowly for Estella, and she dreaded the long months that were to come before Merry would finally return to her.  She had tried her best to keep occupied - visiting Rosie at Bag End, helping her parents, and cooking enough superfluous dishes as to make her brother more than worthy of the name "Fatty."  And though the emptiness caused by Merry's absence remained, it was not so unbearable as it could have been - as it would have been had they not parted on good terms.  No, the emptiness Estella had felt after storming out on Merry that day was far worse than what she was feeling now.

Without warning, a strange sense of giddiness overtook Estella, causing her to giggle softly.  The thought had come unbidden to her mind of what was to happen once Merry returned.  The memory of his words on that day many months ago came to Estella's mind as vividly as if he was laying there on the grass beside of her, whispering them into her ear:

I hope with all my heart that you will wait for me, because when I get back, I never want to let go of you again.  When I get back, I want you to marry me.

Estella let out a long sigh of contentment, a feeling of warmth and comfort spreading through her.  Everything was so different, so wonderfully different... no more days of regreting past decisions, of scoffing at the thought of romance, no more feelings of cynicism at the mention of devotion.  Because Estella now knew romance to be possible, she knew devotion to be true, and she knew all that had happened in the past happened for the best, and she was now so very thankful for all that had gone before.  Her only grievance was that she had not come to these realizations sooner.

Estella's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps, and of a rather large hobbit lying out on the grass beside her.

"Hello, Fatty," she said to him without turning her gaze away from the passing clouds.

"Good afternoon, Stella," replied Fredegar.  "Might I take a guess as to your thoughts?"  Estella responded with only a sigh, and he smiled.  "Ah yes, it is only too easy... you're thinking of a certain special lad."

Estella smiled wryly.  "You know me too well, dear brother."  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Fatty's smile had dissipated.  "Is something wrong?"

Fatty sighed.  "I'm simply a bit worried about you, that's all.  About you and Merry..."

"Merry?"  Estella furrowed her brows.  "Don't tell me you're worried he won't treat me right, Fatty."

"Now don't go getting me wrong, Estella - Merry Brandybuck is one of my dearest friends.  There's no one I've ever trusted more, except perhaps Frodo.  It's just that..."  Fatty fidgeted awkwardly.  "Well, it's a different matter when you're entrusting someone with the care of your little sister."

Estella rolled her eyes, though she couldn't help but smile; Fredegar was a gentle hobbit by nature, but he did tend to get a bit protective when it came to his sister.  "I am hardly little anymore, Fatty."

Fatty scowled slightly.  "Yes, I know."  He let out a deep sigh of resignation.  "Well, I must admit, he is certainly more worthy of you than that Hugo ever was.  If I must eventually trust another hobbit with my sister, it may as well be Merry."

Grinning, Estella replied, "I'm glad he meets your approval."

Returning the grin, Fatty reached over and took his sister's hand.  "And I'm glad he makes you happy.  But you are aware, of course, that he does not in any way deserve you."

"Perhaps not."

Brother and sister lay on the grass for some time, watching the clouds pass slowly overhead.  They soon reverted back to their old game of finding shapes in the clouds.  Estella could not help but remark on how Fredegar would so often discern various food shapes, to which he responded by asking if she had yet to find a likeness of Merry; she had answered by giving his arm a loving punch.

Fatty eventually steered the conversation away from cloud shapes by saying, "Now about this wedding of yours..."

"Yes, you are invited," Estella replied promptly.

"So I had hoped, but that was not what I wanted to inquire," Fatty said with a laugh.  "I was wondering when the planning was to begin."

Estella frowned for a moment.  "I'm not sure... Merry said that he wanted it to take place as soon as he got back.  But I suppose I should wait a few more months before really taking much action."

"You'll be needing a dress, will you not?"

"I should think so, unless you were hoping I would use one of your outfits."

"No, I believe a dress would be more becoming on you.  I was actually wondering if you would like to use some of my coinage to buy it."

Estella gaped at him.  "Oh, Fredegar, you don't have to do that!"

Fatty shrugged lightly.  "Well, our father will be wanting to pay for everything else; this might be my only chance to contribute to the cause.  You may think of it as my wedding gift to you."

She smiled gratefully at him, giving his hand an affectionate squeeze.  "I would very much appreciate that, Fatty."

"So it's settled then.  When you're ready to begin preparations, I shall take you to the finest dress shop in the Shire - accompanied by Rose Gamgee, of course, as she has more knowledge on the subject of dresses than I - and you will pick out your favorite."

Estella jumped to her feet, grinning broadly; she pulled Fatty up with her.  "And in return, I shall bake you as many fine desserts as can fill that great stomach of yours!"

Fatty grinned mischeviously as they walked back towards the road.  "With your cooking skills, dear sister, Merry had best enjoy his trim figure while he can."

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