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Children of Iluvatar  by Antane

Chapter Seventeen: A Gift

Arwen watched Frodo as he came to her and Aragorn by the fountain and begged leave to depart to see Bilbo. She was struck as always by his beauty and humility and the light from within him, but she saw also the darkness that still sought to possess him, a jagged tear in his fëa that she knew no one but Ilúvatar Himself could heal. Frodo seemed to be growing slowly aware of it himself as it eclipsed his joy and she grieved that he should be burdened again. But it was through the tears there and the other wounds he bore, that the light of his fëa shone. She knew it would shine brightest in the West, when all the tears were mended and he was whole again. Until then, she wished to help him in any way she could; still she could not unwrap for him the gift grace had given her, but only present it.

“A gift I will give you,” she said. “For I am the daughter of Elrond. I shall not go with him now when he departs to the Havens; for mine is the choice of Lúthien, and as she so have I chosen, both the sweet and the bitter. But in my stead you shall go, Ring‑bearer, when the time comes, and if you then desire it. If your hurts grieve you still and the memory of your burden is heavy, then you may pass into the West, until all your wounds and weariness are healed. But wear this now in memory of Elfstone and Evenstar with whom your life has been woven!”

And she took a white gem like a star that lay upon her breast hanging upon a silver chain, and she set the chain around Frodo’s neck. “When the memory of the fear and the darkness troubles you,” she said, “this will bring you aid.”

Frodo bowed. “My lady,” he breathed in awe at such a gift.

Arwen watched him leave. He would have to make a choice, like she had, like her mother had, like Lúthien had, and she feared that as it had been for her nana, it would be only through the very bitter that would he reach the sweet.

Please, Adar, give him the strength to make the right choice, she prayed.

I shall, My child.

When Frodo returned to Sam and his cousins, they saw the chain and he showed them the queen’s gift, but as to her other gift, he spoke not a word.

All the way to Rivendell, Elrond watched over Frodo and saw that at times his hand reached out to touch the gem, though sometimes he stopped short and his features spasmed as though he wasn’t sure exactly what he was reaching for. But each time he completed the action and clasped the gem, his features relaxed and his light flared a bit brighter. Elrond was sure Sam noticed it as he knew that small guardian could see into his master’s fëa as well as any of the Firstborn and better, he suspected, than Frodo himself could.

It was shortly before they left that Elrond chanced to hear Frodo and Sam talking one evening.

“Well, Mr. Frodo, we’ve been far and seen a deal, and yet I don’t think we’ve found a better place than this. There’s something of everything here, if you understand me: the Shire and the Golden Wood and Gondor and kings’ houses and inns and meadows and mountains all mixed.”

“Yes, something of everything, Sam, except the Sea,” Frodo answered.

Elrond heard the longing and the pain in that voice. The painful decision had not yet been made, but it was growing in his heart. He turned his thought to the One who created them both.

Why are You asking him to make another sacrifice? He has already given You everything. There is nothing left inside of him and yet You still ask for more.

I ask so I can give him everything he has given Me. Still it is his choice whether to embrace this journey, just as it was his choice at the Council I called.

He will say yes. He will not deny You. But it is a bitter choice.

And the other one was not? He is empty now, but he will be filled again.

He should not be parted from his kin, especially not from the fëa that is knit to his more closely than any other.

He will not be.

Could he not stay? I will be coming to a home prepared for me, but he will be leaving one.

A home long prepared awaits him there also, but still it is his choice whether to come to it or not.

Elrond remembered a similar conversation he had had when he begged that his wife be healed, that they not be parted. But parted they had been and his faith that he had thought so strong wavered and foundered upon the sharp rocks of his grief and rage and helplessness, just as it had when Isildur had failed him and he had failed Isildur. He knew or feared in his heart that Frodo would make the same choice as Celebrían, know the same desperation that had driven her West, the same terrible pain neither he nor anyone could do anything to soothe. All his prayers had seemed to be in vain, but she had prayed differently, and her prayers had been answered, and in time, he understood that his had been also and in the same manner as hers. So though he feared for Frodo, he also hoped his little brother would make the same choice. He remembered well the desolation he had felt when he had stood at the Grey Havens and watched her ship leave, but also the joy that had filled him, tentatively at first as she began to heal and then more fully as each new step was taken until she shone in his mind brighter than she ever had. As he watched the four hobbits that were so closely knit together, the Elf lord knew he would feel all those things again in his own heart as his little brothers felt them.

Yes, all of them, My child. Remember that. I have given Iorhael the grace of the Firstborn, but the mortality of the Second for I want him closer to Me, though that too will be his choice.

He will be drawn. You have molded his heart by Your hand and he will not resist that.

So has your heart been, My child. Why do you resist now?

Because he has been hurt. I thought from all that You had said, it would be different this time.

How could it have been? None of My children could have resisted such terrible power at the end. And your brother endured beyond anyone’s expectation. I knew from all time when and where that tremendous will would fail and so I placed there with him those who would help him complete the Quest he had embraced at My bidding. And I placed Myself there. Who held him steady enough for that necessary amputation from the poison of the Ring when it claimed him at last? In Whose arms did your and My Celebrían cry out her agony when her arms were chained to the wall and she could not embrace anything but despair? It is not to cause further pain to My children that I separate them from their beloved ones, but to call them to their full flower and glory, to shine out without agony or shame or despair. Neither your wife nor brother asked for the pain I allowed them to feel, but both have been or will be glorified through it. It is not for nothing that they have suffered. As you watch their journey continue, you will see that I have never abandoned them and I will continue to walk with them. Will you continue to walk their Road with Me?

How can I not?

Then may their light and Mine guide you back.





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