3: Return to Innocence

How long he slept, Glorfindel could not say. Sometimes he would waken — for a few minutes or a few days, he was never sure — finding himself surrounded by Maiar who spoke soft words of peace and comfort, then he would fall asleep again, feeling safe and loved. Twice that he remembered he woke up screaming. The second time Námo was there, cradling him until he fell asleep again. Eventually he found himself staying awake longer and longer as his fëa grew stronger, the memory of his judgment before the Valar fading. He had ceased to remember dying at all.

A time came when he began to take an interest in his actual surroundings. The chamber in which he slept was not overly large, containing nothing more than his sleeping couch. There were two doors, but one had no knob and could not be opened. Glorfindel was drawn to the door for some reason he could not fathom. He stared at it curiously, running his hands over its smooth surface, but when one of the Maiar led him gently away, he went willingly and soon forgot about it.

The other door proved more interesting, for when he opened it he found himself in a wide hall lined with tapestries and, even better, there were other elves wandering about. He glanced at his attendant Maia in surprise but she only smiled and nodded, pushing the golden-haired elf out the door with a gentle nudge.

"Go play," she said softly.

Glorfindel stood hesitantly for a moment watching the other ellyn and ellith as they interacted with one another. Most stood around one tapestry or another speaking softly, gesturing. Others danced or sang. One or two stood alone, watching.

One such saw Glorfindel and came over to greet him. He was golden-haired as well, but where Glorfindel’s eyes were grey, his were a startling blue. The ellon smiled. "Mai omentaina. My name is Findaráto, but I prefer to be called Finrod. What’s your name?"

Glorfindel smiled shyly back. "Glorfindel. My name is Glorfindel."

"Would you like to be friends?"

Glorfindel nodded and when Finrod held out his hand he took it and the two ellyn walked hand-in-hand through the hall talking amiably, or at least Finrod did the talking while Glorfindel listened. Finrod seemed familiar to him but he couldn’t place it and eventually decided it didn’t matter. He was just happy that he had found a friend so quickly. Finrod stopped occasionally and introduced some of the other elves to Glorfindel.

"This is Beleg and this is Finduilas and this is Saeros," Finrod motioned to three elves to join him and Glorfindel. Finduilas smiled warmly and the other two ellyn greeted Glorfindel with glad cries.

"Would you like to play with us?" Saeros asked. "We’re playing catch-me. You can be It, if you like."

Glorfindel looked at Finrod, who nodded encouragement. "Thank you," Glorfindel said. "I would like that."

Finduilas laughed and to Glorfindel’s surprise grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a kiss on the lips before darting away. "Catch me if you can, Glorfi."

The other ellyn all laughed and began to scatter as Glorfindel followed after the elleth who stayed teasingly out of reach. How long they played, Glorfindel never knew. Sometimes it seemed as if they had always been playing. Finduilas eventually allowed him to catch her and the two tumbled on the floor laughing. The other ellyn soon joined them in a free-for-all that ended with all of them suddenly falling asleep in a heap. Their Maiar attendants all chuckled at the sight and rejoiced that these Children, so hurt and broken, had found laughter and friendship again.

It took them some time, though, to sort out the fëar and return them to their respective sleeping chambers.

****

After that the five of them were nearly inseparable. They often played together, danced and sang together or just sat quietly enjoying each other’s company. Sometimes other ellyn and ellith joined them for merrymaking, but more often than not, they were left to themselves. Often enough their attendants would find them sleeping in a huddle after a strenuous game of catch-me. It annoyed Glorfindel to find himself waking up in his chamber with no memory of having fallen asleep in the first place. The Maiar would assure him that it was only to be expected and that eventually he would be able to stay awake for longer periods of time.

Only one thing marred Glorfindel’s happiness during this time. He was wandering the corridors that were their playground by himself when he came upon a solitary elleth. She seemed strangely familiar to him, and when she told him her name was Elenwë, something in him quailed and a flash of memory, of eternal white and cold and the sudden cracking of ice as someone screamed, crossed his mind and he cried out, much to Elenwë’s horror.

At once several Maiar were there. One took Glorfindel in his arms and held him, crooning softly until the ellon calmed down. The others led Elenwë away, assuring the now weeping elleth that it was not her fault and that all would be well. She was taken to her sleeping chamber and fell asleep and when she woke again she no longer remembered the strange encounter with the golden-haired ellon. Glorfindel, too, was eased of the memory until such time as he was ready to face it. He never saw Elenwë in the Halls of Mandos again.

Whenever Glorfindel woke from his slumber his first thought was to find his new friends and the Maiar encouraged him with glad smiles. Usually they were all there waiting for him but one time he found only Finrod. Glorfindel felt unaccountably sad when he could not see Finduilas anywhere.

"They’re still sleeping," Finrod said sympathetically in explanation. "I’ve been here the longest, so I don’t need to sleep as much. Let’s go explore." Finrod held out his hand and Glorfindel took it and the two ellyn began to wander through the various corridors.

Often they would stop before a particularly arresting tapestry, wondering what the picture might mean. Most of the time they found themselves in the company of other elves but at one point they wandered down a dim corridor where none other walked. The corridor ended abruptly and they found themselves staring at a large tapestry that sent chills through Glorfindel’s fëa. There was a seven-tiered city burning in the background while in the foreground a golden-haired elf fought against a creature of flame and shadow. The picture disturbed Glorfindel in a way he could not understand and he found himself shaking, tears running down his face. Finrod tried to lead the ellon away, for he realized that this tapestry had something to do with his new friend. He remembered how he had reacted to a certain tapestry himself.

"Please come away, Glorfindel," Finrod pleaded but Glorfindel could not move and began weeping even harder.

Suddenly, a Presence was felt and Finrod turned to see the Lord of Mandos standing there looking at them with concern.

"Children, what are you doing here? This is no place for you." He scooped Glorfindel up into his arms as if he were no bigger than an elfling of ten summers and Glorfindel clutched at the Vala, weeping. "Shh, little one. It’s time you were abed. Say good-bye to your friend, for it is time for Findaráto to leave and walk with his atar in Eldamar."

"B-but I don’t want Finrod to leave," Glorfindel stammered through his tears and Námo laughed.

"I’m afraid that can’t be helped, hinya. It is time for the son of Arafinwë to join his atar in Life."

Finrod stood there looking stunned and not a little afraid. Námo gave the one-time King of Nargothrond an encouraging smile.

"W-will we still be friends?" Glorfindel asked doubtfully.

Finrod smiled tremulously. "We will always be friends, meldo."

"B-but we’ll never see each other again," the younger ellon wailed, for he had long ceased to remember living in the hröa and could not imagine being anywhere than where he was.

Now it was Finrod’s turn to laugh. "Nay, titta hánonya. We will see each other soon. Namárië." He leaned over and planted a kiss on Glorfindel’s forehead.

"Namárië," Glorfindel echoed sadly and then Finrod was simply not there. Glorfindel sobbed and nestled further into Námo’s embrace and then he was being lowered onto his sleeping couch.

"Do not be sad, yonya," Námo said sympathetically. "You will see your friend again, and sooner than you think. Sleep now and awaken refreshed once again."

And with the sound of the Lord of Mandos singing softly as he stroked the ellon’s hair, Glorfindel fell asleep.

****

Words are Quenya unless otherwise noted.

Ellyn: (Sindarin) Male elves, plural of ellon.

Ellith: (Sindarin) Female elves, plural of elleth.

Mai omentaina: Well met; the Quenya equivalent of the Sindarin Mae govannen.

Atar: Father.

Meldo: Friend.

Hröa: Body.

Titta hánonya: My little brother.

Namárië: Farewell.

Yonya: My son; a contraction of yondonya.

Historical Note on the First Age: Finrod died in 468. Finduilas, Finrod’s great-niece, died in 495 when Nargothrond was sacked. She is the daughter of Orodreth, son of Finrod’s brother Angrod. Saeros died in 482 from a fall into the chasm of a river as he fled from Túrin's wrath. Beleg was accidently killed by Túrin, probably within a year or two after the death of Saeros. Glorfindel died in 512.