37: A Confrontation Reprised

The next two or three days were spent in quiet pursuits and in resting. Aragorn spent the time mostly with Gilhael, the sons of Elrond and the other Elves, though he was also careful to include the Rohirrim, Wídfara and the other men from the ill-fated hunting trip in particular. They were all sitting together in the common hall eating lunch on the second day when Aragorn described to Gilhael and the Elves what had happened. Thengel was there, as well as Hildebrand and Hildered. The Elves all went still and their expressions became totally unreadable even to Aragorn as they listened to the tale. When he pressed them, though, they declined to offer any opinions as to what the fate of the missing Men might have been, saying only that such things had been known to happen from time to time. It was not a satisfactory answer but it was all they were going to get from the Firstborn. It escaped no one’s notice, though, that the Elves were later seen speaking quietly amongst themselves as they stood upon the parapet of the fort looking east and gesturing at the mountains.

Wídfara waited until the third day after Yule to approach Thandir. It had snowed the previous night and the Elves, much to everyone’s amusement, were busy helping the children make snowballs and stockpiling them for a planned ‘war’. Thandir, in fact, was showing some of the older children the proper method for building a fort while Aragorn and Gilhael were teaching the younger ones how to throw for good effect.

Wídfara sighed to himself. He had spent the better part of the previous night debating with himself and mustering the courage to confront the Elf on his sweordbroðor’s behalf. He had hoped to corner Thandir after breakfast, quite forgetting that the Elf probably did not bother to sleep and may have broken his fast with the changing of the watch. Now, he carefully crossed the courtyard to where Thandir and the other Elves were assisting in the building of the two forts for the upcoming game. It took longer than he hoped to cross the snow-crusted pavement, for he had to step carefully with his crutches.

"Lord Thandir," he said somewhat breathlessly when he finally reached his destination. "Might I have a word with you, at your convenience, of course?"

Thandir looked up as Wídfara approached, giving the young Rider a smile, his expression quizzical. "Is there aught wrong, Lord Wídfara?" he asked politely.

"Nay, lord," Wídfara answered, "but I would like to speak with you if I may... in private."

Thandir raised an eyebrow and cast an amused glance at the other Elves who returned his expression with studied indifference. Aragorn had noticed his sweordbroðor speaking to Thandir and wandered over to see what was happening.

"Perhaps we may speak after lunch," Thandir finally said. "I would not wish to miss this upcoming battle." He smiled, glancing at the youngsters ranged around them, listening unabashedly.

Wídfara followed his gaze and smiled as well. "Nor would I wish to miss seeing it. After lunch will be fine. I thank you for your indulgence."

Thandir nodded and Wídfara moved to return to the keep. Aragorn stayed him with a hand on his arm. "What is this about, Wídfara?" he asked softly.

Wídfara looked back at the Elves for a moment before addressing Aragorn. "It’s personal," he said just as quietly. His expression became closed and Aragorn decided not to press, though he promised himself that he would contrive a way to be at the meeting. Instead, he nodded and gave Wídfara a faint smile.

"Care to make some snowballs?" he asked and after a second’s hesitation, Wídfara nodded and Aragorn helped him over to a nearby bench where he sat and made snowballs from the piles of snow the younger children gathered for him.

****

The snowball war, as it was called, was a huge success and it was decided in the end that everyone won, mainly because Thengel determined that the Elves were cheating, sneaking back and forth between the two camps indiscriminately and helping the children while fighting against each other. Aragorn and Wídfara sat on the bench and laughed at their antics, especially when Elrohir and Elladan ended up on opposite sides at one point and began accusing each other of providing their "team" with an unfair advantage.

In the end, Morwen ushered all the 'little heroes' into the hall for lunch, but told the Elves in no uncertain terms (speaking Sindarin to make her point) that they would not get a bite to eat until the snow had been completely cleared from the courtyard. The Elves gave her respectful bows even though their expressions were ones of amusement, and in a trice they were grabbing besoms and sweeping the courtyard for all they were worth, singing softly a song that Aragorn identified to Wídfara as a hymn to Manwë and Ulmo in praise of snow.

Finally, the courtyard cleared, Aragorn and Wídfara joined the Elves and the other adults for the noon meal, laughingly analyzing their strategies during the ‘war’. Thandir told the twins that he would speak to Glorfindel when they returned to Imladris to arrange for additional lessons in fighting in snow. "Your techniques were way off," he told them with a mock scowl. "I would be ashamed to have you on my next patrol." The twins responded by simultaneously throwing hunks of bread just fast enough that he couldn’t duck in time, setting everyone laughing.

Afterwards, Thandir approached Wídfara where the Rider was still sitting sipping his ale and speaking quietly to Hildered. "Well, youngster," the Elf said, "you wished to speak to me, in private, I believe?"

Wídfara looked up and nodded warily. "If you please," he said, grabbing his crutches and pushing himself upright. Both Thandir and Hildered gave him a hand and he acknowledged their help with a nod. Aragorn, sitting on the other side of the trestle, also stood, a concerned look on his face.

"What is this about, Wídfara?" he asked.

Wídfara turned to Aragorn with a scowl. "It’s about you, Earntungol, in case you haven’t guessed."

"Me?" Aragorn responded in surprise. "What about me?"

"Perhaps Thorongil should join our discussion," Thandir suggested, raising an eyebrow at the interplay between the two Mortals.

Wídfara gave the Elf a sidelong glance then sighed, nodding. "As you wish," he muttered and started hobbling away. Aragorn and Thandir stared at one another for a moment, the Elf’s expression unreadable. Finally, the Dúnadan shrugged and together he and Thandir followed the young Rider from the hall.

Wídfara led them to a chamber that had been taken over by the Queen and the other women of the camp where they normally spent the day sewing and mending, but now it was empty. Aragorn wondered if Wídfara had made arrangements with Lady Morwen earlier for the use of the room. The young Rider sat on one of the chairs near the fireplace with a grateful sigh, putting his crutches on the floor. Aragorn grabbed a padded stool and gently placed the splinted leg on it. Wídfara smiled his thanks, waiting for the other two to find seats before speaking.

Neither Elf nor Dúnadan knew, though Aragorn could guess, of the internal struggle waging in Wídfara’s soul at that moment, for he quailed at the thought of confronting one of the Firstborn on a matter about which he had little knowledge, yet he reminded himself that, young though he might be, he was still one of Thengel’s Riders and a proven warrior and he was not about to shirk what he thought was his duty towards his sweordbroðor. He gave a shuddering sigh and looked directly at Thandir.

"What did you do to Earntungol?" he asked baldly.

Aragorn gasped but said nothing, waiting for Thandir’s response. The Elf-lord stared at the young Rider, his expression blank of any emotion. "When?" he finally asked.

"At Helm’s Deep," Wídfara answered. "You did something to him because ever since...."

"Wídfara!" Aragorn exclaimed with some heat, his expression going cold with anger. "You forget yourself...."

"Do I, sweordbroðor?" Wídfara rejoined with equal heat. "Thrice you have been brought low because of something he did to you." He pointed at Thandir, though he was still looking at Aragorn. "I want to know what it was and how to... to cure you."

Thandir gave Wídfara a considering look, nodding. Then he turned to Aragorn, his expression somewhat colder and brooking no argument. "Tell me."

"It was nothing, Thandir," Aragorn said faintly, waving his hand as if to wave away any concerns on the part of his friends. "Wídfara exaggerates...."

"I do not exaggerate!" Wídfara fairly screamed. "And if I were not bound to this splint I would challenge you for that affront, sweordbroðor or no."

Thandir raised a hand to still any further outbursts from either of them. He gave Aragorn a scathing look. "You do your gwador a disservice, Estel, speaking so. I think it would be best if you apologize to young Wídfara for your words."

Aragorn swallowed a retort and with a sigh he stood, placing his right hand over his heart and bowing to Wídfara who sat there whitefaced with anger and hurt. "I regret my words, sweordbroðor," he said with all sincerity, "and beg that you will pay them no heed. They were words spoken without thought, but they were not meant to impugn either your truthfulness or your right to be concerned on my behalf."

Wídfara sat for a moment, taking deep breaths to get himself under control and finally nodded. "Hit is forgieten ond forgiefen," he said quietly. He held out his hand and Aragorn grasped it and then leaned down and gave him a kiss of peace, which Wídfara returned. When Aragorn resumed his seat, looking somewhat embarrassed, Thandir smiled.

"Now that that is settled, I want you to describe to me exactly what has happened, Estel," he said. "Leave no detail out, however insignificant it might seem."

So Aragorn told him, reluctantly and slowly, struggling not to show either anger or embarrassment at what he was being forced to reveal to this Firstborn. When he began describing the nightmare (as he insisted on calling it), Thandir’s expression, went completely blank so that not even his eyes gave anything away. He turned his immortal gaze upon Wídfara for a moment before returning his attention to Aragorn. Wídfara let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, very glad he was no longer the subject of the Elf’s regard. Aragorn fared little better, going white as he finished his narrative, his expression stricken at the eldritch light emanating from the Elf’s eyes. Thandir had to consciously look away to give both Mortals time to recover.

For the longest time no one spoke. Aragorn made himself get up and put another log on the grate, for the fire had burned down as he was speaking and there was a definite chill in the air. Wídfara simply sat there, not looking at either of them, and waited. Thandir sat in deep thought. He was beginning to regret agreeing to Elrond’s wishes with regard to Estel, but realized that more was going on than any of them knew and wondered if Elrond had not had some kind of foresight regarding the situation here in Rohan. The Enemy was waking and forces were moving into place. He well remembered the Wars of Beleriand and the final War of Wrath against Morgoth. Sauron might not be as powerful as his master, but he was powerful enough and it behooved them all to do what they could against him, and any allies he might have garnered for himself over the last Age.

The Elf shook his head and sighed, closing his eyes briefly before opening them again. He looked first at Wídfara. "I thank you, Wídfara of the Mearc," he said in flawless Rohirric, "for bringing this to my attention. You have much courage and I see why Estel named you his sweordbroðor."

Wídfara reddened slightly at the praise, keeping his eyes down, so he failed to see the quirk of a smile on the Elf’s face. Thandir then turned to Aragorn, his expression somewhat graver, switching to Westron rather than to Sindarin, as Wídfara half expected. "I understand why you did not mention these episodes earlier, Estel, but I wish you had come to me about them rather than making your gwador do so. That was an untenable position in which to place him."

Aragorn nodded, looking chagrined. "Truly, I... I just didn’t want the fuss...."

"It is not a fuss, Estel," Thandir said sharply. "What is happening to you can prove to be dangerous to others and we need to address it just as Gilhael has needed to address his own particular problems of blanking out. This is no different, except it seems that in some respect I may be the inadvertent cause of your blanking out and that I deeply regret."

"So what can you do?" Wídfara spoke up then. "What did you do, anyway?"

Thandir raised an eyebrow at the young Man’s presumption, but answered readily enough. "I’m afraid that in the urgency of the moment I allowed myself to exert my Will upon your sweordbroðor, overriding any of his normal defenses." He sighed and his expression was sorrowful as he gave Aragorn a rueful look. "For which I apologize, Estel. I never meant to cause you distress in that fashion but I fear I allowed my flash of foresight to overcome my good sense and judgment. I knew you were needed by Thengel and that nothing you did otherwise would affect the outcome of your cousin’s fate. Do you understand what I say?"

Aragorn nodded. "Little though I liked it," he replied, "I saw the truth of your words when we came upon Edoras closed against us. Yet, I fear that these episodes will only continue and with no warning. How...."

Thandir raised a hand. "Let me consult with Elrohir and Elladan first," he said. "Nay, do not scowl, youngster. The sons of Elrond are gifted healers in their own right and their knowledge of the workings of the mind and spirit are greater than mine. They may offer a solution to this situation that I do not see."

"And what if there is no... cure, as Wídfara puts it?" Aragorn retorted. "What then?"

"Then you deal with it as best you may," Thandir stated quietly.

Aragorn scowled and stood up, facing the fire. He leaned a hand on the mantle. "It’s the uncertainty more than anything else, not knowing when or if it will happen again."

"And for that I truly do apologize, child," Thandir said, rising to stand behind Aragorn, his hand on the Man’s shoulder. "Let me see what the Elrondionnath have to say first." Aragorn nodded without looking at the Elf. "Now your... nightmare as you call it, is a different matter," Thandir continued, "and most intriguing."

Aragorn turned and gave the scout a sardonic grin. "I’ll gladly trade you my nightmares for your dreams if you wish."

Thandir gave an amused snort. "Thank you, but I will decline the offer, if it’s all right with you." Wídfara snickered and Thandir gave him a wink before sitting down again, motioning for Aragorn to join them. The Dúnadan complied and when he was seated Thandir looked at the two Mortals with a more sober expression.

"This dream I deem is more a foreseeing than a nightmare," he stated without preamble. "Yet, as such foreseeings go, it tells us little." He shrugged. "The only advice I can give you about it is to keep your eyes open for the moment. It may be that what you dreamt was but a possible outcome of all this brought on by your own fears for your cousin’s well-being. I do not know and will say nothing further on the subject."

"So we’re no closer to figuring out what all this means than before," Wídfara said with a sigh. He gave Aragorn a worried look. "Too many uncanny things are happening around you, Earntungol, and I fear my fellow Riders will find you an uncomfortable companion."

"And you do not?" Aragorn asked quietly.

Wídfara smiled, though it seemed somewhat forced. "Oh yes, I do, but you are my sweordbroðor so I have to put up with your... oddness, just as you have to put up with mine."

Aragorn gave him a mock look of surprise. "You’re not odd," he said with all seriousness. "A little obnoxious, maybe, but...."

He got no further as Wídfara launched a pillow at him and Thandir smiled at their levity.

****

Later, as the three of them entered the hall for the night meal, Thandir went to speak to the sons of Elrond. Elrohir glanced up and locked eyes with Aragorn while Elladan did the same with Wídfara, which unnerved the young Man so much that he almost dropped one of his crutches and only the quick reflexes of an Elf-trained Dúnadan saved him from a serious fall. Aragorn scowled at the twins who merely looked on with amusement as their brother helped Wídfara to sit. The intensity of the Elf’s gaze and the near fall had rattled the young Rider somewhat and it took a few moments for him to calm down.

Gilhael came by and handed the Rider a stein of beer. "What’s that all about, then?" he asked Aragorn, nodding in the direction of the Elves with his chin.

Aragorn shook his head. "A private matter, Cousin. Pray do not concern yourself too much over it." The words were mildly spoken but Gilhael recognized Aragorn’s tone: he was not speaking to his younger Cousin, but to his Chieftain.

"As you wish," he said with a bow of his head. "You know where to find me if you need me."

Aragorn gave him a genuine smile, that was just on this side of being wicked. "Unfortunately, I do." He managed to skip out of Gilhael’s range with a laugh, the younger Cousin once again.

Gilhael merely shook his head with a slight smile and winked at Wídfara who snickered. Then Thengel and Morwen entered the hall with their children and it was time to sup.

After they had eaten, Thandir approached Thengel and whispered in his ear, though none heard what was said, not even Morwen. Thengel’s eyes widened at whatever the Elf was saying to him and his gaze sought out both Wídfara and Aragorn, then the sons of Elrond who stood to one side of the hall in that stillness of being that the Mortals were beginning to recognize as a normal mode of the Firstborn when they were not in swift motion. Thengel looked back at Thandir and nodded, speaking a few words. Thandir nodded as well and then gave the king a brief bow before heading to where the sons of Elrond stood, gathering the two Mortals with a gesture. Aragorn helped Wídfara up and they started to follow the Elves when Gilhael stopped them.

"Is aught wrong, Cousin?" he asked solicitously, his expression troubled. "I’ve known Elrond’s sons for many years and they both have that same disinterested expression on their faces that their adar always has whenever he’s about to perform a healing."

"I assure you there is naught to trouble yourself with, Cousin," Aragorn said with a smile. "It’s just that a situation arose while you were pretending to seduce the fair Helewis that needs attending."

Gilhael gave Aragorn a jaundiced look. "I never pretended to seduce anyone," he said in mock affront. "I was very blatant and above-board about it." He sniffed disdainfully. "Just ask her father," he added smugly.

Both Aragorn and Wídfara laughed along with the others around them as they left the hall. The three Elves were waiting for them in the corridor and they set their pace to Wídfara’s awkward gait. Thandir led them back to the ‘solar’ where they had had the earlier conversation and once all were seated and made comfortable, Elladan took over.

"We will speak Westron," he said, "so there is no mistaking what is meant here." Everyone nodded in agreement and Wídfara actually sighed with relief. He suspected that the three Elves could speak his language with practiced ease, though he noticed that whenever Thandir spoke Rohirric, the Elf had used some phrases that sounded archaic to his ears, but he knew that his sweordbroðor was less fluent still. He himself spoke Westron passably well, his father having insisted that all his children learn the Common Tongue. Lord Éonoth had even gone so far as to specifically hire Gondorian workers from nearby Anórien who spoke only Westron so his children would be forced to learn the language in order to communicate with these men who helped run their father’s holdings.

The others gave Wídfara amused but understanding smiles at the obvious relief on his face, then Elladan continued. "Thandir has told us something of what has happened and has given us his thoughts about it." He then turned to Wídfara. "Normally, we would not permit you to be present at this examination, but you are the only witness to the first episode Estel suffered, so your observations will be helpful for our diagnosis."

Wídfara nodded his understanding and gave Aragorn a sympathetic look. "I’m sorry sweordbroðor," he said sincerely. "You would not speak of it and I feared...."

Elrohir leaned over and placed a gentle hand on the Man’s knee, giving Wídfara a smile. "You did well, young Wídfara. Estel is fortunate that he has a gwador such as yourself watching his back. Be not disturbed." He paused until he was sure the young Rider was less agitated, then continued. "So, let us examine the first episode." He turned to Aragorn. "Begin with what you were doing on the parapet and what you were thinking."

Aragorn complied, dredging up every detail he could muster, however insignificant, even mentioning which way the wind was blowing that night. Wídfara then told them what he had witnessed and what he had done. The twins gave him appraising looks when he told them about singing the Sindarin lullaby.

"Earntungol was shouting something," Wídfara explained. ‘I do not know what, but it wasn’t in either Westron or Rohirric. There were words that sounded like Sindarin so I decided to sing the lullaby. It was all I could think of to do as I held him. I was remembering doing something similar for my younger sisters when they were frightened or just being fractious."

The Elves nodded, their expressions ones of deep interest. "Do you recall any words specifically even if you do not know their meanings?" Elladan asked.

Wídfara furrowed his eyebrows, trying to remember. "Avanno nin ada," he finally said, shaking his head, "or something like."

The others looked thoughtful, especially the twins. Aragorn actually muttered the words under his breath. "Avo ’wann' o nin, Ada," he finally said in a strained whisper, his expression one of deep pain. He turned to Wídfara. "Is that what you heard?"

Wídfara nodded. "It sounds like it," he said.

Thandir and Elladan gave Aragorn sympathetic looks; Elrohir’s expression was somewhat more wistful. "You used to scream that when you first came to us, waking from nightmares," he said, speaking Sindarin.

Aragorn could only sit there, looking pale. Wídfara gave him a concerned look. "It means something to you, then?"

Aragorn nodded, his lips set in a thin line. "I lost my father from an orc attack when I was not quite two," he told Wídfara, his expression distant. "I think it is something I cried out in my sleep when I was very young. I really don’t remember."

"Yet something that Thandir did has triggered the memory and has left you incapacitated," Elladan observed. "Is it always when you think of Thandir or when...."

He was just in time to grab his brother when Aragorn hunched over and nearly fell out of his chair with a cry. Elrohir was instantly beside them and together the two eased the Dúnadan into his seat. Aragorn’s eyes were shut tight and he was whimpering, rocking himself. "Avo, Ada." they heard him muttering, sounding incredibly young. "Avwann o nin... avwann o nin," he continued to lisp, as both his elven brothers held him in their embraces and began to softly sing the same lullaby Wídfara had sung to him. Thandir, meanwhile, sat in disbelief at the tableau, his expression one of great distress. Wídfara, on the other hand, looked concerned, but seeing that the sons of Elrond had his sweordbroðor well in hand, he sat back and waited for Aragorn to recover. It took a few more minutes for him to return to himself, but suddenly he stopped crying and opened his eyes, an expression of defeat emanating from them.

"It happened again, didn’t it?" he said with a sigh.

"Can you tell us what you were thinking just before it happened?" Elrohir asked quietly, brushing a hand through the Dúnadan’s hair to comfort him.

"I... I think it happens whenever I consciously recall our confrontation at Helm’s Deep," Aragorn answered, looking directly at Thandir.

Both Elrondionnath nodded. "Thandir told us something about it," Elladan replied, giving the older scout a significant look. "Then it isn’t Thandir specifically that triggers these episodes but the memory of what occurred at Helm’s Deep."

"But why?" Aragorn asked plaintively, struggling into an upright position. "What happened between us to make me do something like that?"

"We have no answers, as yet, Estel," Elladan said quietly. "Tell me, what was your state of mind afterwards? Do you recall?"

Aragorn shook his head. "Not really. I seem to have been in a fog for most of the time. I don’t think I fully... um... woke up until we were nigh Edoras." He gave Wídfara a questioning look and the Rider nodded in agreement.

"You were barely conscious at times," he said. "Grimbold was rather concerned, but you seemed to be more yourself before we reached the Snowbourn."

Some kind of communication passed between the twins as they gazed into each other’s eyes, then Elrohir turned to the others and spoke. "This is not something that can be... cured... at least not in the traditional meaning of the word." He looked down at his lap. "If Adar were here... well, that’s neither here nor there. We need time to think about what we have learned." He turned to Thandir. "You are far older than any of us," he said, "and I know Adar and Glorfindel respect your opinions. If there is anything in the lore of the Noldor that might be of help...."

"I will think on it," Thandir said, his expression suddenly weary. "It has been too many centuries since I thought about some of the powers of the mind we Noldor developed while in Aman. For the most part, we have... forgotten them, we few who still remain on these shores."

Elladan nodded in understanding. "Whatever you can remember, however insignificant...."

"And in the meantime?" Wídfara demanded. "What about Earntungol?"

Elrohir turned to his younger brother. "Now that you know what triggers these episodes, you have the wherewithal to guard against them. Do you remember some of the mind games Glorfindel used to play with you, to teach you to keep your thoughts from being read by the Enemy?"

Aragorn nodded, frowning slightly. "Yes, I remember."

"They may help in this case, or at least mitigate some of the effects until we can come up with a more permanent solution, if there is one," Elladan said.

Thandir rose then and went to stand before Aragorn, his expression sorrowful. "Believe me when I say this, Estel... I never meant for this to happen and I will do all in my power to undo this."

Aragorn stood. "I know you did not, Thandir, and I do not blame you." He awkwardly put his arms around the Elf’s shoulders and Thandir permitted the familiarity, even going so far as wrapping his own arms around Aragorn and giving him a hug.

Wídfara glanced at the twins, giving them a nod and a satisfied smile, which they returned. They were no closer to a solution than before, Wídfara knew, but at least there had been a reconciliation between his sweordbroðor and the Elf-lord and that had to count for something.

****

Hit is forgieten ond forgiefen: (Rohirric/Anglo-Saxon) ‘It is forgotten and forgiven’.

Avo ’wann' o nin, Ada: (Sindarin) ‘Don’t leave me, papa’, literally ‘Do not depart from me, papa’ [avo 'do not' + lenited and elided form of gwanno 'depart']. Avwann o nin: During the episode Aragorn lisps the words as if he were a young child of two or three.

In reference to the Elves’ hymn to Manwë and Ulmo in praise of snow:

"And Ilúvatar spoke to Ulmo, and said: ‘Seest thou not how... Melkor has made war upon thy province? He hath bethought him of bitter cold immoderate, and yet hath not destroyed the beauty of thy fountains, nor of thy clear pools. Behold the snow and the cunning work of frost!....’

"Then Ulmo answered: ‘Truly, Water is become now fairer than my heart imagined, neither had my secret thought conceived the snowflake.... I will seek Manwë that he and I may make melodies forever to thy delight!’ And Manwë and Ulmo have from the beginning been allied, and in all things have served most faithfully the purposes of Ilúvatar." [The Silmarillion, ‘The Ainulindalë’]