"One Morning on The Quest"

"I do not snore," Boromir said frowning at Merry. "Perhaps you mistook the snoring of Gimli to be mine."

Gimli chuckled. "It's no secret that we dwarves do tend to snore and very loudly." Gimli seemed to take great pride in his night time noises.

Merry shook his head. "I know Gimli's snores. I've heard them before and these were not his."

"Well, all the same, you are mistaken if you believe that I am the one that you heard," Boromir said looking slightly annoyed. "I have never snored."

Aragron looked amused. He was just rolling up his sleeping gear and making his pack ready. "Never?' he asked arching an eyebrow.

"Never," Boromir said curtly.

"Do Wizards snore, Gandalf?" Pippin asked joining the conversation.

"Some do," Gandalf said absently. "And if you decide to continue with your line of questions, Peregrin Took, you may find that I have little tolerance for foolishness before breakfast." He glared at Pippin who sighed and turned his attention back to Merry.

"This wasn't Gandalf," Merry said stubbornly. "I was standing my watch when I heard it and the nearest person to me was you, Boromir. I distinctly heard snoring sounds coming from your bed roll."

"Merry has excellent hearing," Pippin said pleasantly. "He often hears things that are none of his concern."

Merry glared at Pippin and said, "And you are known to insinuate yourself and your opinions into conversation which don't concern you, Peregrin Took."

Boromir smiled as Pippin affected a shocked look and said, "I don't know what you mean, Cousin. I thought that this was a general conversation involving anyone within hearing of it which I happen to be."

"My questions were not address to you and if you'd listened closer you'd have known this at once," Merry said tightly. "Is your name Boromir?"

"Well, no," Pippin said and it appeared for a second that this might be the end of it. "However, Gimli was included in the conversation and his name isn't Boromir either."

"The entire point of this is that I did not sleep well at all after completing my watch because someone, it seemed to me that it was Boromir, was snoring very loudly," Merry said. "I know that it wasn't you, Peregrin because I am familar with your snoring and you were not snoring when I was trying to go to sleep last night."

"Neither was I," Boromir said firmly.

"Who had watch after you?" Sam asked looking at Merry.

"What?" Merry asked looking confused.

"Well, if you heard Mr. Boromir snorin' when you lay down to sleep then whoever was on the next watch would have heard the snorin' too. That person could settle this once and for all if you take my meaning," Sam said reasonably.

Merry's eyes brightened and he said, "Legolas!"

Everyone turned to look at the Elf now.

"This should be very accurate because Elves have very good hearing," Pippin said brightly. "Possibly better hearing than Merry."

Boromir's brow wrinkled and he looked at the Elf who was now the center of attention. Legolas looked as if he had been caught stealing food from the packs. It was very clear that he wanted no part of this discussion and yet it was also clear that he had no idea how he might be spared becoming involved.

"It was me," Frodo sighed looking apologetic.

"It can't have been," Merry objected. "If it had been you I would have known it at once. I've heard you snore and this was not your snore, Frodo."

"All the same, Merry," Frodo smiled. "I was snoring. It is the first proper sleep I've had in some time and I snored so loud that I actually woke myself a time or two." He looked over at Boromir and shrugged. "I am sorry for having cast suspicion upon you, Boromir, but I was reluctant to admit that I was the one making such a racket."

"I didn't hear anything," Pippin said.

"You never do," Merry said grumpily. "I have to practically sound the horn call of Buckland to get you awake."

"In any case, if I had heard it then I would have known it was Frodo," Pippin said smugly. "He makes this little snuffing sound just at the end of his snores as if someone is pinching his nose shut."

"I am considering pinching your mouth shut," Merry muttered. "I still think that Frodo was too far away for it to have been him. What do you think, Legolas?"

Again everyone was looking at the Elf. Aragon was vastly amused. "Yes, tell us, Legolas, so that we might start our morning's journey in peace. Who was snoring when Merry woke you for your watch?"

Legolas looked uncomfortable for only a minute and then he recovered himself. "You were," he said smiling at Aragorn. Before Aragorn could object Legolas continued. "As was Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Boromir." Boromir looked ready to object but then Legolas looked at Merry and said, "And within moments of settling in for the night, you were also snoring Merry. I find that it is a very good thing indeed that I do not require sleep such as mortals do. All of you can be quite loud when considered as a group."

Merry spluttered but Frodo quickly took his cousin by the arm and led him over to the his rucksack. "You'd be wise to finish your packing now, Meriadoc," Frodo said sternly. "The subject is dropped."

Gandalf chuckled. It had not been lost on him that only he had escaped blame. He gave Legolas an approving nod and then reurned to his packing.

Everyone began to finish making their packs ready for travel and the subject seemed to be abandoned. Pippin, unable to keep still no matter what the penalty might be, leaned over to Merry and whispered, "He's lying. I didn't know Elves did that."

Before Merry could respond, Legolas leaned over the two startled hobbits and said, "Elves do have very good ears, Peregrin Took and I am also armed." He patted his bow as he walked away. Even Pippin was willing to let the subject drop when faced with that sort of persuasive incentive.

The End

GW 11/26/2007