Another Shirebound plot bunny that bit me when I wasn’t looking. Except for the beginning paragraph, which is underlined and is the starter for this little bunny, this story is completely dialogue. This is Merry, Frodo, Sam, Pippin and a bit of Strider on the Quest. Not Beta’d and written all at one go so don’t expect much in the way of little things like spelling and canon. But then, those of you who know me well won’t be looking for any of that nonsense. (This was originally posted to my Live Journal so some of you have probably read it.)

Here we go;

“Row, Row, Row, your boat, gently…”

“They’re blisters, Frodo,” Merry said. He inspected his cousin's hands carefully. “If you’d spent more time in Rivendell practicing with your sword, and less time reading about Elvish history, you would have had all this over and done by now.”

“Blisters? From rowing a boat for an hour or two? Honestly, Merry, I have rowed a boat on many occasions and for longer that two hours.”

“With a large slightly scruffy Ranger in the stern and a stout hobbit sitting beside of him gripping the sides of the boat as if his life depended upon it?”

“Stout?”

“He’s only teasing me, Sam. I should tell Strider that Merry here thinks of him as scruffy. That should put an end to all of this once and for all. Ouch!”

“Don’t clench your hand like that, Mr. Frodo. It’ll pop them blisters.”

“They certainly are painful, Sam. I truly didn’t think I was giving myself blisters while I was rowing. I mean, my hands were aching slightly at the time but I certainly didn’t suspect that I was developing blisters.”

“You’re out of the habit of rowing. Let’s face it, Frodo. You’re out of the habit of doing any physical labor. Life as the Master of Bag End has been too comfortable and you’ve let yourself go.”

“Do not elbow me in the ribs again, Meriadoc or I shall show you exactly what sort of physical condition I am in by wrestling you to the ground. Now, do behave. I need to get something done for these-“

“Those are dreadful!”

“Thank you, Pippin. Must you sneak up on me and peer over my shoulder like that? It’s very unsettling.”

“Sorry, Frodo, but those are dreadful blisters. Do they hurt?”

“They do when you jab at them like that! Don’t do that, Pippin.”

“I don’t have any blisters.”

“You have to do something in order to get blisters, Pip. Sleeping doesn’t usually give one blisters.”

“I was on watch until we left in the boats this morning and so naturally I slept a wee bit. Boromir didn’t seem to mind.”

“Boromir was probably relieved that you weren’t trying to fish from the moving boat again like yesterday.”

“I don’t know why that should have annoyed him as much as it did. I only thought that we might catch our supper while we were rowing along and wasting all of that time.”

“How many times must I explain to you that you cannot catch fish when the boat is moving through swift current? Honestly, Pip. Sometimes you act as if you were a proper Took and had never even been in a boat.”

“I am a proper Took!”

“Where are you going, Sam?”

“Well, Mr. Merry, I think someone ought to see to them blisters ‘o Mr. Frodo’s. I was goin’ over to get Mr. Strider so’s he could have a look at them.”

“Really, Sam. They are only a few, small blisters.”

“That one on your thumb is huge, Frodo.”

“Thank you, Pippin. I hadn’t noticed that.”

“Ouch! Don’t smack me on the head, Merry! I didn’t do anything. It is a huge, rather ugly blister. Why I’ll wager that when it breaks open it oozes enough liquid to fill a cup!”

“It isn’t that large.”

“Merry, quit staring at my hands! Will you and Peregrin kindly stop wagering on the size of my blisters? Ouch!”

“Don’t poke at them, Mr. Frodo. I’ll go get Mr. Strider. He’ll fix ‘em up for you.”

“Thank you, Sam. At least someone around here has some sense.”

“You should use those fingers for something other than writing once in a while and then you wouldn’t have this problem, Cousin.”

“I will have you know that I do plenty of things other than write, Merry.”

“You bring in the firewood?”

“Well, no. Sam usually does that but-“

“The dishes?”

“Marigold comes over and she-“

“The cleaning such as scrubbing the floors and beating the rugs?”

“Now, see here, Meriadoc! Just exactly how much of that sort of business to you tend to when you are at the Hall? Exactly how many rugs have you hung out on the line and beat?”

“I don’t do that sort of work. I-“

“Then you are the one that brings in the firewood?”

“I chop it from time to time, Frodo. I also row a boat several times a week and I have been known to clean the stables and-“

“Fine! You are positively inundated with hard labor that you must attend to while I sit about in a large, over-stuffed chair taking my ease by the fire!”

“What’s that?”

“What is what, Pippin? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Well, Merry I think you might need to do a wee bit more of the work you’re mentioning.”

“I don’t know what you mean, Pippin.”

“Then get your hands out from behind you back this instant, Merry.”

“Honestly, Frodo, Pippin doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Yes I do! I saw it with my own eyes. You have a-“

“I do not! Now, go see if you can find Sam. It’s taking him entirely too long to return with Strider and poor Frodo is probably in pain.”

“Poor Frodo is not in any danger of dying from agony, Merry. Now let me see your hands before I throttle you soundly. Come on. Hold them out here.”

“See! Right there on his left palm just below his thumb and then that wee one over there on the other hand just on his middle finger near the bend. That one will hurt something fierce. Of course neither of them are as large and swollen as the ones that you have, Frodo. Oh! Look! There are two more right there near the center of your palm, Merry!”

“Do not laugh, Frodo. And quit staring at my hands, Pippin! I only have a few blisters and they are hardly worth mentioning at all. In fact, if you hadn’t been so nosy, I might not have even noticed them in the first place.”

“Does he have any that will ooze until they fill a cup, Pippin?”

“Maybe if you pop all of them but I think that large, ugly one of yours would best them all, Frodo.”

“Yes, Pippin. All of that time I spent sitting about not doing anything. I guess both Merry and I have been too lazy.”

“I am not lazy!”

“It’s understandable with me since I am older, but poor Merry really should be in better condition, don’t you think so, Pippin?”

“Merry should have let Boromir or me row the boat for a while but he kept insisted that Brandybucks are at home in boats and that he’d be fine.”

“I am surprised that you were able to hear me say that over noise of your own snoring!”

“I do not snore!”

“You most certainly do, Pippin. And you make this annoying little whistling noise between your teeth at times.”

“I do not! I don’t, do I Frodo?”

“I was in another boat, Pippin. I really didn’t hear you.”

“Ouch!”

“Don’t poke at them, Merry. Remember what Sam said.”

“Thank you, Pippin. For everything!”

************

“I don’t understand why I have to get all of the firewood!”

“I’m busy fixin’ our meal, Mr. Pippin and Mr. Strider wanted to talk with Mr. Boromir for a while before we eat. I think they’re discussin’ which way we go on from here tomorrow.”

“Where’s Gimli, then?”

“He’s with Mr. Legolas. They’re hidin’ the boats so’s they can’t be spotted from across the way.”

“Fine! I’ll just do everything around here. I’ll get the wood and build the fire. I’ve already unloaded everyone’s things from the boats and rolled out the bedding so why wouldn’t I want to get the wood while Frodo and Merry sit about on their bums doing nothing?”

“Mr. Frodo’s hands are completely bandaged on a’count ‘o them blisters. He can’t be gatherin’ wood now.”

“Merry’s blisters weren’t that bad. He’s just using them to get out of his proper share of the work. That’s what he’s doing.”

“If you don’t get us some wood soon then I suspect we’ll not be eatin’ at all.”

“Fine!”

*******

“Do they feel better, Frodo?”

“Yes, thank you, Strider. They are much improved. I do feel silly sitting here doing nothing while everyone is getting us ready to leave.”

“You should be able to remove the bandages and do your share of labor by the time we’ve finished today’s trip down the river.”

“Thank the stars for that!”

“Here, Pippin, while you’re taking those packs to the boats, you can take this one too. I doubt that Frodo can carry anything at all today.”

“Easy! That’s my neck that you’re looping that strap about and I have my arms full in case you’d not noticed! I’m not a pack pony!”

“Pippin seems to be in a foul humor. Apparently he didn’t get enough rest last night. Now what you chuckling about, Frodo?”

“Pippin was teasing Merry and I about our blisters yesterday and so I suspect that he is not at all happy about having to do our share of the work today.”

“Well, he will be even less cheerful when he finds out that he will be rowing the boat along with Boromir. Merry’s hands are not as bad as yours are but I see no reason for him to make them worse when Pippin is able to do his share of the rowing. I understand from Boromir that Pippin slept most of yesterday and attempted to fish the day before. A bit of rowing will be good for him.”

“He’s not likely to see things in that way, Strider.”

“Frodo, I suspect that it is time for us to get into the boat now. Sam is waiting down by the river along with the others. We’ve a long day ahead.”

“But you shall have to do all of the rowing, Strider. Sam had never been in a boat until this and he doesn’t know anything at all about rowing. Also, he is rather frightened of the river.”

“Sam does more than his share of things when we set up camp and I am able to do the rowing for the day. You shouldn’t worry so, Frodo. You just come down to the boat and get as comfortable as you are able with those injured hands of yours.”

“I feel so useless with all of these bandages. I can’t pick up anything at all with my hands like this.”

“I will remove the bandages this evening and then you will be your old self again. Today, you are to rest and I am certain that Sam will see to that.”

******

“What happened?”

“What happened? You want to know what happened do you? You were right there all day long, Meriadoc! You should know what happened. That’s what happened!”

“Quit yelling and waving your hands in my face, Pippin. Hold still and let me look.”

“They’re ruined.”

“I’ll wager that you could squeeze a bowl full of liquid out of that one on your palm, Pippin.”

“That’s a dreadful thing to say, Frodo! You should understand. You have blisters too!”

“Have a look at my hands, Peregrin. Strider has managed to heal them up nicely. He just removed the bandages. I could hear you yelling at Merry and so I came over to see what was wrong.”

“Pippin has a few blisters.”

“A few? A few blisters? Merry, I’ve not got any skin left on my hands!”

“Don’t exaggerate.”

“I’m not exaggerating anything. Look at the big, ugly red one just there. This is what comes of making me do all the work! Don’t laugh! It isn’t funny. I worked myself into exhaustion today while the two of you sat about in the boats like great lumps and did nothing at all. Don’t laugh, Merry!”

“Come on, Pippin. Let’s take you to see Strider. I suspect that you will be the one sitting in the boat like a lump tomorrow. Come on, Merry. I think that one or both us will be gathering firewood for Sam’s cooking this evening.”

“I just hope Strider doesn’t bandage Pippin’s hands up so much that he can’t eat properly, Frodo. Pip might not be able to hold a spoon and so he might have to go to bed hungry.”

“I’ve been hungry since we left the Shire. Well, except for that time in Rivendell and-what do you mean I won’t be able to hold a spoon? He didn’t bandage your hands up that much! Or Frodo’s! On second thought, I don’t think I need to see Strider about this.”

“Oh, no you don’t, Cousin. You’re coming with us and letting Strider see to those blisters.”

“Quit pulling on me!”

“Then walk, Pippin.”

“I don’t want my hands bandaged up.”

“Relax, Pip. After I’m done with all of my chores and all of yours then if I haven’t fallen asleep I’ll feed you.”

“Don’t look so stricken. Merry is teasing. I was able to eat last night and my hands were much worse than yours are. Come on, Pippin.”

“Who do you suppose will row tomorrow, Merry?”

“Sam?”

“Hush, Merry. If Sam hears you then he won’t sleep a wink tonight for worrying.”

“Yes, Merry. Leave poor Sam alone. And leave me alone while you’re about it.”

“Are you planning to be angry at me all night, Pippin?”

“I always plan to but I am seldom able to manage it.”

“That, Peregrin, is because I am entirely too charming.”

“Everyone else says it’s because I am entirely too forgiving. Ouch!”

“Don’t poke them, Pippin. It makes it worse. I should know.”

“Frodo?”

“Yes, Pippin?”

“I suppose this is a stupid idea but wouldn’t gloves have helped?”

“Gloves?”

“Yes, like the ones that Boromir and Strider have. Those that have no fingers in them but they protect your hand? Wouldn’t it have been a good idea if we’d all had some of those or am I just being thick about it all?”

“Strider!”

“What are you laughing about, Merry? Frodo seemed as if he might be angry with Strider when he ran ahead like that and left us. What’s so funny?”

“By the time we get to see Strider about your hands, Pippin, they will probably have healed on their own. Oh, and don’t be surprised if Strider suggests bandaging up your mouth too.”

“What? Why would he do that?”

“For mentioning the idea of gloves to Frodo.”

“Oops!”

“I think our older cousin is about to give Strider a stern lecture on being prepared and on providing everyone with gloves. Your blisters are going to have to wait.”

“Merry?”

“What, Pippin?”

“Do you want to pop the big one just there on my palm and see if we really can fill a cup with the liquid while we wait?”

“Might pass the time. Frodo was very angry. Did you see his eyes? They were all narrow and hard looking. It’s going to be a while.”

The End

09/16/2006