END: Nightfall in Aman

SUMMARY: When the Two Trees die, night descends upon Aman. A look at one Elf’s reaction.

****

Itarildë stood outside her bedroom, looking up at the sky in wonder, her mouth agape, as she clutched her favorite stuffed toy. She could not believe how beautiful the dark was with the stars spangled across it like diamonds. And rubies. And emeralds. For she could see that the stars were not all one color.

She hugged herself and a smile crossed her lips as she continued to stare upward. She had been frightened at first, she admitted to herself, when the Lights of the Trees had wavered and then dimmed altogether. She recalled the shocked voices of her parents and the other adults even as she had stopped in her play. They had been at a feast decreed by the Elder King and all had gathered in Ilmarin. Itarildë had been playing with other elflings in one of the courtyards while their parents sat around the tables and spoke of boring things, when all of a sudden the light that was always present went out and they were left in what many assumed was eternal darkness.

There had been much screaming and crying. Itarildë had tried to find her ammë or atto but there was so much confusion about with everyone running hither and yon that she was nearly crushed by the throng seeking to leave Ilmarin for the Trees. Then, strong hands wrapped around her and lifted her up.

"Stay with me, Little One," her rescuer said quietly and she found herself in the arms of her cousin Findaráto.

"Fi-finda! What has happened? Why is the Light gone? Wh-what are those?" She pointed upwards into the night sky. She could not see her cousin’s face very clearly for there was no light, though she heard him chuckling softly.

"Those are stars, Little One," the prince said.

"Stars," she said in wonder. She had heard of stars but had never seen them, for she had not yet traveled through the Calacirya to where they were visible. Atto had promised to take her at her next begetting day.

They were out of Ilmarin now, her cousin’s strong arms around her, keeping her safe. "Where’s ammë and atto?" she asked at one point as they followed the crowd of elves along the road leading down the mountain to Vanyamar and thence to the city of the Valar and the Trees beyond. By now torches had been procured by some so there was more light though many of the older elves insisted that they could see quite well without them, recalling the early days of their existence before coming to Aman.

"I do not know," Findaráto answered calmly, "but they are well, never fear. We will find them soon."

Itarildë snuggled further into her cousin’s embrace and looked contentedly at the carpet of light above them, no longer feeling afraid.

****

"Itarildë! Come inside, child."

Elenwë gently took her daughter’s hand and led her back inside, chivvying her into her bed and tucking her in. Itarildë could see her ammë was worried, her usual smile fled.

"Ammë, why did the Trees... the Trees...?" but she suddenly realized she had no word for what had happened and she clutched her toy closer to her, feeling unsure again.

Elenwë sighed as she sat on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through her daughter’s locks in an attempt to comfort her. "The word you want, yeldenya, is ‘die’.

"Die." Itarildë played with the word in her mouth for a moment, deciding she did not like the sound of it. She looked up at her ammë. "So why did they... die?"

"They were... hurt by Melkor," Elenwë said, unwilling to explain to her child the concept of ‘poison’.

"Can they not be fixed?" Itarildë asked in all innocence.

Elenwë shook her head. "Melkor hurt them too much," she said sadly. "They will never shine again."

Itarildë thought about that for a moment. She knew she should be sorry for the Trees and she did sort of miss their Light which had been a constant in her life, but then she glanced outside and saw the stars and could not be sad. She turned to her ammë and gave her a smile. "It is well, ammë. I am not afraid."

But Elenwë merely shook her head. "It is the end of the world as we know it. Nothing will ever be the same again."

Itarildë had no answer to that and shortly afterwards Elenwë leaned over and gave her daughter a kiss. "I will leave this candle lit so you will not be afraid," she said before she left.

For a long moment, Itarildë remained in bed, but then the stars drew her and she made her way outside again, her toy firmly in her grasp. She knew that she would miss the Trees but she could not be sad. The stars were so beautiful and she reveled in their high cold song just barely heard on the fringes of her mind.

"I wonder if they have names," she said aloud and the thought of all those stars each with its own name brought her mind to a standstill in wonder.

When some time later Turucáno came into the bedroom to check on his daughter, he found her sitting cross-legged on a rug that she had brought out onto the balcony,pointing at the sky, obviously speaking to her stuffed toy. He stood in shock and growing wonder, listening to her naming the stars.

"...and that pretty green one we can call Ezelmírë and the diamondy one next to it we can call Finda after my cousin ’cause he likes diamonds, and...."

"You should be asleep, yeldenya," Turucáno said softly as he came out onto the balcony.

Itarildë looked up at her atto and smiled. "I could not sleep, Atto. The stars were singing."

Turucáno looked down at his daughter, giving her a wistful smile. "And what are they singing, child?"

"Their names, of course," she responded simply and Turucáno nodded gravely, even as he picked her up and settled her into his lap as he sat on the rug.

"Perhaps you would like to introduce me to some of them," he said softly. There had been so much fear and confusion when the Trees died and now they had only just learned that Finwë himself had been murdered by Melkor and Fëanáro’s Silmarils stolen. He did not know what would come of all of this and grieved for all that had been lost, for all that might still be lost.

Yet here was his innocent daughter happily naming the stars, oblivious to all the anguish and pain that others were feeling. Perhaps not everything was lost, he decided as he stared up at the star-strewn night. Perhaps there was still innocence and high beauty untouched by the evil surrounding them. He bent down and kissed his daughter gently on the top of her head and Itarildë snuggled further into her atto’s embrace. She pointed up into the sky.

"Do you see that pretty red star shining above those trees, Atto?" she asked, happy to introduce her atto to her new friends. "That’s Carnimírë and then further up is a blue star. That’s Nenya and...."

****

Ammë: Hypocoristic form of Amillë: Mother.

Atto: Hypocoristic form of Atar: Father.

Yeldenya: My daughter.

Note: Itarildë is the Quenya form of Idril; Findaráto is Finrod, and Turucáno is Turgon.