14: What the Elder King Revealed

Finrod stopped in surprise at the sight of Glorfindel weeping in Námo’s arms. "What happened?" he cried, going to them. Námo allowed him to take Glorfindel into his own embrace. "Glorfindel, brother, what is wrong?" he asked, rocking the ellon gently.

"H-he said you w-would be w-waiting for me," Glorfindel stammered through his tears, "but you weren’t here and I w-waited and waited and you never c-came back."

"Lord Námo told you this?" He gave the two Valar confused looks though his question was to Glorfindel, who only shook his head, sniffling a bit.

Both Manwë and Námo exchanged inscrutable looks but said nothing. Manwë gestured to Finrod. "Why don’t we sit and Glorfindel can tell us his story," he said quietly and in moments the four of them were sitting by the fire, which Námo stoked up. The two elves sat in their usual camp chairs while the two Valar sat in more ornate chairs that could not strictly be called thrones, though to the elves’ minds they came close.

When they were all settled with Finrod and Glorfindel supplied with mulled wine courtesy of Námo, Manwë gave them both measuring looks. Finrod’s mien was still one of confusion while Glorfindel’s was more abject. It did not escape the notice of either Vala that there was an inner glow to the ellon’s eyes that had not been there before, a glow the source of which they both recognized and of which they were somewhat in awe. It was a glow that rivaled the brightness of Anar just rising above the Pelóri.

"Tell us what happened, Glorfindel," Manwë commanded quietly, giving the ellon an encouraging smile.

For a long moment, Glorfindel did not answer, gazing silently into the flames of the campfire and sipping his wine. The others remained silent, allowing him the time he needed. Finally, hesitantly, he began to speak, his voice low and unsure. "Finda ran away," he said and both Valar raised eyebrows at that rather juvenile statement while Finrod blushed in chagrin. Glorfindel did not notice, merely continuing his narrative. "I called for him to come back but he didn’t and then I... I did something stupid."

"Go on," Manwë commanded when Glorfindel stopped, his expression more embarrassed than anything.

The ellon shook his head. "I passed out I think... I’m not sure...."

It escaped no one’s notice that Glorfindel had deliberately skipped over part of the narrative, but Manwë decided to let it go for now.

"And then what?" he prodded when it seemed the ellon was not going to continue.

Glorfindel looked up from his ruminations, staring straight at Manwë, his expression one of absolute awe while tears streamed down his cheeks. The sight of this startled Finrod and he made a move towards his brother but Námo stopped him with a shake of his head. Manwë on the other hand made a slight welcoming gesture with his hands and Glorfindel immediately went to him, kneeling before the Elder King and laying his head on Manwë’s lap, weeping. Manwë said nothing, merely stroking the ellon’s head, letting Glorfindel express his feelings as he wished. When the storm of emotion abated somewhat, the ellon sighed and raised his head to look directly at Manwë.

"It was so beautiful," he whispered, sounding awe-struck. "I’ve never seen anything so beautiful."

"What did you see?" Finrod could not help asking, his own voice barely above a whisper.

Glorfindel looked over at Finrod, his face still wet with tears. "A ship of crystal," he answered. "It was Vingilot."

Finrod sucked in a breath, unaware that in his shock he had dropped his goblet of wine. He glanced at the Valar for confirmation or assurance, he wasn’t sure which. Námo’s expression remained distant and unreadable; Manwë’s was warmer, more gentle. The Elder King smiled and, continuing to stroke Glorfindel’s hair, he said, "Tell us what happened, child."

So Glorfindel did and even though Finrod was tempted to ask him many questions he forbore and allowed his brother to tell his tale in his own fashion. All the time, Glorfindel remained at Manwë’s feet, though he had shifted his position so he was actually sitting, facing the fire and leaning against the Elder King’s legs. He did not look at anyone in particular as he related his adventures, preferring to stare into the flames instead. Only as he drew the narrative to a close did he look up, staring directly at Finrod, giving him an almost accusing glare.

"Then I woke up again but you weren’t here," he said. "I called but you didn’t come. I waited and waited and you still didn’t come and then Lord Námo showed up and... and... well...." He shrugged then, his expression a mixture of chagrin and defiance.

Finrod finally moved, coming to kneel before the younger ellon. "I am sorry, Glorfindel," he said softly. "I never meant to cause you such pain, but frankly you were trying my patience and if I hadn’t fled I would have ended up strangling you."

Glorfindel’s eyes widened at that and then he grinned. "I would like to see you try."

Finrod merely snorted and rose gracefully to his feet, offering Glorfindel a hand up. The two Valar looked on with satisfied amusement, though they kept their thoughts about what Glorfindel had told them to themselves. The elves would never know that Manwë had relayed Glorfindel’s story to the other Valar, who, in turn, relayed it to some of the Maiar who had a direct interest in Glorfindel, for the Valar were ever careful to keep the existence of the tenth dimension secret even from the Maiar. Eönwë chuckled somewhat when Manwë enquired if there was anything he should know that Glorfindel was refusing to tell them.

*He cursed us and Atar,* the Keeper of Oaths told them, and they could all ‘see’ the Maia’s smile. *The exact words are unimportant, but apparently Atar decided to take a direct hand in... er... reprimanding our elfling.*

There were quiet chuckles all around at the proprietary tone of the Maia’s words.

*Elfling, indeed,* they all heard Olórin say. *I don’t recall any of the other Reborn acting this... young,* he mused. *Is it a product of being released earlier than normal?* This last was directed towards Lord Námo, the tone respectful and curious rather than accusing.

Námo sighed. *I do not know,* he admitted. *I would have preferred to allow him to sleep longer before his Judgment, but as for the rest....* He gave them a mental shrug.

*That’s beside the point at any rate,* Manwë stated equably. *I think the circumstances have caused him to regress more than would be usual for one so recently released from your care, Námo. His ring and pendant don’t seem to help keep him as calm and hopeful as they were meant to.*

*I wonder if the erosion of the barriers we placed on him has something to do with that,* opined Aulë and several of them indicated agreement with that thought.

*Then the sooner he and Findaráto are given answers to their questions, the better,* Manwë said. *We need them concentrating on finding a way back rather than screaming at us for imagined crimes against them.* The others agreed.

*Please tell Glorfindel, my lord,* Eönwë couldn’t resist saying and they could all ‘see’ his wicked smile, "that I’m running out of pages in the Book of Oaths, so would he refrain from mouthing any more curses or oaths of any sort until I’ve had time to bind a new volume.*

That set them all laughing. The objects of their discussion in the meantime were settling themselves back in their chairs, wine goblets retrieved and more wine poured, unaware that anything was being said about them. When they were settled, Manwë spoke to them.

"Your tale is most interesting, Glorfindel, and quite illuminating."

"D-do you believe me?" Glorfindel asked hesitantly.

Both Valar nodded. "Indeed, best beloved," Námo answered, "we believe every word you’ve spoken. That Ilúvatar is taking a direct hand in this is somewhat... unusual. The last time He did anything similar...." The Lord of Mandos shook his head, giving Manwë a look the elves could not interpret.

"At any rate," Manwë said to them, "you are both waiting to hear what I have to say about all this, are you not?"

Both ellyn nodded, giving him mixed expressions of curiosity, hope and trepidation at what he might tell them.

Manwë gave them a knowing smile. "However, I think we’ve had enough excitement for one night," he said. "Why don’t you two get some rest and when you awaken I will answer your questions."

"But...." Glorfindel started to protest, however Manwë forestalled him with a raised eyebrow. The ellon sighed, his posture one of reluctant resignation.

"Glorfindel," Námo said, speaking gently, "you do not realize it yet, but you are weary in body and soul from your... experience. Sleep will help put everything in perspective for you and you will be in a better frame of mind to listen to what Lord Manwë has to say."

*We can only hope,* Manwë quipped silently to Námo, who struggled to keep his expression neutral.

"Lord Námo is correct," Finrod said. "I for one am feeling a weariness I have not experienced in some time. I would welcome some sleep. We’ve waited this long to hear what Lord Manwë would tell us, a few more hours won’t make any difference."

Glorfindel nodded, but did not speak. Finrod decided to take matters in his own hands by rising and giving the two Valar his obeisance, pulling Glorfindel up at the same time and practically dragging the ellon off to the tent while the Valar looked on in amusement.

*A most interesting story,* Manwë mused to Námo as they both listened to the two ellyn go about the business of getting ready for bed.

*Atar has a way of surprising us, doesn’t he?* Námo replied.

*Which leads me to wonder....*

*Wonder what?* Námo prodded his elder brother.

Manwë merely gave him a faint smile. *A great many things,* was his only reply and Námo rolled his eyes, knowing he wasn’t likely to get anything more out of the Elder King at this point.

*Shall I stay and keep watch?* the Lord of Mandos asked.

Manwë shook his head. *Go. I know you have your own duties to attend to. No doubt you will be looking in on how your sister is dealing with Aldundil and Vorondil. I will stay here.* He gave Námo a strange look. *I think Atar and I have much to discuss before I speak to the Children.*

Námo did not reply, merely bowed his head in acquiescence before disappearing, taking his chair with him. For a long while Manwë sat there in silence listening to the gentle breathing of the elves coming from the tent as they settled further into sleep. Finally, he stirred. "Speak Atar," he said out loud, "thy servant is listening."

****

The elves woke shortly after dawn, surprised to find that they had slept the whole day away. There was no sign of either Lord Manwë or Lord Námo. Glorfindel started to gripe but Finrod merely shrugged. "I think I’ll take advantage of the situation and go bathe," he said. In the end, Glorfindel decided to do the same, so they grabbed some towels and other bathing paraphernalia and headed towards a spring that was located deeper in the mountains. It was in fact one of the major sources of water for Vanyamar. They stopped at the latrine on the way and then climbed further into the mountains somewhat until they came to the edge of a dell in which lay the spring, welling up into a shallow pool shaded by willows and elms. The water then flowed south behind the precipice where Ingwë’s city should have been.

They took their time with their ablutions, carefully undoing their warrior braids and washing their hair. Neither felt the need to talk, so they bathed in companionable silence. When they returned to the camp, however, they were surprised to see the Elder King apparently toasting bread over the fire while bacon sizzled in a frying pan and the tea kettle whistled merrily. He gave them a welcoming smile as they approached.

"I thought to give you some privacy this morning," he told them. "I see you put the time to good use. Come, I have started your breakfast, but you may finish preparing it. We will speak after you have eaten."

The ellyn wasted no time in complying with Manwë’s request and soon they were busy breaking their fast. While they ate, Manwë set about heating water for washing the dishes. Both elves protested his actions as being unseemly for the vice-gerent of Arda but Manwë merely smiled as he hooked the pot of water onto the tripod over the fire.

"Nothing done with love is ever menial, my children," he said. "You should ask Ingwion about that when you next see him. It is a lesson he has been learning of late." He straightened from his task and gave them an amused look. "However, I will let you do the washing up."

They both laughed at that and in a short while the breakfast was eaten, the dishes washed, dried and put away and then the three were sitting comfortably beside the fire with the elves sipping tea, waiting for Manwë to speak first. He gave them both measuring looks but his words were directed primarily at Glorfindel.

"I hope that after you hear what I have to say, Glorfindel, that you will find it in your heart to forgive us our... subterfuge. It was not an easy decision to make and Ilúvatar did not entirely approve, though he did not forbid us from doing what we did."

"What did you do?" Glorfindel asked in a subdued voice.

Manwë sighed. "When you were being re-embodied, a decision was made to... suppress part of your memories concerning Eärendil."

Both elves visibly shivered at that. "Why?" Glorfindel asked, looking stricken.

"I think I should have Námo explain that part," Manwë said, "as he was directly involved in the process."

At that, the Lord of Mandos appeared, looking suitably somber. He gave Manwë a brief bow of acknowledgment before taking a seat in the chair that appeared behind him. He gave the two elves a sad smile. "What do you remember of your time in Mandos, Glorfindel? What are your earliest memories after your Judgment?"

Glorfindel gave Finrod a sideways glance before returning his attention to his mug of tea, thinking back through the jumble of images that made up his time in Mandos, for it was difficult to make sense of any real sequence of events in that seemingly timeless place. Finally, he looked up at Námo. "There was a door."

Námo nodded encouragingly. "Can you describe it?"

Glorfindel shook his head. "It... it was just a door... but it had no handle with which to open it."

"Do you know what that door represents?"

The ellon merely shook his head again and Námo nodded, not surprised at the elf’s answer. "You slept for several yéni after your Judgment," the Lord of Mandos stated quietly. "That in and of itself is not unusual, indeed, it is typical of all fëar. What was not typical was that five times you woke suddenly and ran to that door, which otherwise did not exist. Five times you beat against it screaming to be allowed back, begging to return to Gondolin. Five times my People were forced to call me to send you back to sleep for you fought them with a degree of viciousness they had never encountered in any fëa."

Glorfindel went white at the Vala’s words and Finrod stared at him in surprise. "I... I don’t remember," the former Balrog-slayer whispered. "I’m sorry, I don’t remember."

Námo gave him a brief smile. "There’s no reason why you should, child," he said solicitously. "The last time it happened, I had to call on Irmo to help subdue you and together we spent some time easing your memories of Gondolin and Turgon as far as we could without doing permanent damage to your mind." Here he paused and gave Glorfindel a deprecating grin. "You were not the most cooperative of patients, to say the least."

Glorfindel winced at that and mumbled another apology. Finrod reached over and squeezed his arm in sympathy. Now Manwë took up the narrative.

"When it came time to re-embody you," he said, "it was decided to set up certain barriers to your mind. They would not interfere with your free will but we arranged it so that you could not see Eärendil’s Star and if you heard his name...." He paused, giving Glorfindel a considering look. "How did you react whenever you heard someone mention Eärendil? Do you remember?"

Glorfindel took a moment before answering, trying to remember something he apparently was not supposed to. "I always felt a thrill of something... I’m not quite sure what. I think I remember reminding myself to ask someone about Eärendil at a more suitable time and then... I guess I forgot."

Both Valar nodded. "That is basically what was meant to happen," Manwë said. "We certainly could not go around telling all the Eldar in Aman and Tol Eressëa never to mention Eärendil or Turgon in your presence." Finrod laughed outright and even Glorfindel snickered slightly at the image Manwë’s words evoked while the two Valar smiled. "You can see how that wouldn’t have worked," the Elder King continued and the two elves nodded. "So we decided to approach the problem from the other side, and simply gave you an unconscious command to ignore the strange star in the sky and to forget about hearing Eärendil’s name if it came up in conversation."

"But why?" Glorfindel asked again. "Why did you not want me to know about Eärendil?"

"Because of your reactions in Mandos," Námo explained. "Once you underwent Judgment that particular door should never have returned, yet you called it into existence five times. Your need to fulfill your oath to Turgon was overriding every other consideration. We knew that you would never rest until you knew the truth of what happened to your charges."

"But don’t I have the right to know if my sacrifice proved either worthwhile or in vain?" Glorfindel asked, beginning to sound angry.

"No sacrifice is vain, Glorfindel," Manwë retorted gently. "Whether your sacrifice gave Idril, Tuor and Eärendil the chance they needed to escape or not is immaterial. What matters is that you offered yourself for the sake of others, knowing full well the outcome."

"However, it seems that you were not content to accept that," Námo added. "Your insistence on returning to Gondolin to fulfill an oath that was no longer relevant...."

"I swore a Life Oath to Turgon," Glorfindel nearly shouted, standing in anger. "How dare you tell me that it is no longer relevant. That oath stands for all the ages of Arda."

If the two Valar were upset by Glorfindel’s words, they did not show it. Instead, Manwë nodded his head. "Indeed, that oath stands, but that is not the oath you gave Turgon. Indeed, you gave Turgon no oath at all concerning his family. You were just one of three lords of your respective houses who were leading the refugees over the mountains to safety. You took it upon yourself to see Tuor and his family safe, but you swore no oath to Turgon to do so."

"I didn’t have to," Glorfindel protested. "My Life Oath...."

"Nay, brother," Finrod interrupted, pulling Glorfindel back into his seat. "That oath only applies to Turgon’s right of disposition over you. He could have easily commanded you to remain in the city, but he did not. He did not command anyone, as far as I know." He glanced at the Valar for confirmation. Manwë nodded. 

"Your oath, Glorfindel," Námo said, "was of your own making. It was how you were able to go against the Balrog when none of the other warriors in your party would."

"Your oath and your oath alone has driven you, whether you are consciously aware of it or not," Manwë said, looking grave. "It’s why you raged against your fate while in Mandos, when you should have been blissfully unaware that you had suffered any kind of fate at all."

"It’s why you rarely slept as long as you should have," Námo added with a slight smile, "insisting on waking so you could play with Finrod. Whether you understood what was happening or not, you were trying to catch up with Finrod even then, the need to leave Mandos as quickly as possible driving you." The Lord of Mandos paused for a moment and sighed. "As it was, we were forced to release you earlier than any of us would have wanted, but you were beginning to prove impossible to control and we knew we had to let you go sooner rather than later."

"But not without safeguards," Manwë stated. "Hence the barriers placed around the memories of Eärendil."

"But those barriers are no longer present, are they?" Finrod asked, beginning to understand more fully.

Manwë shook his head. "No. Apparently, shifting dimensions as you have has loosened the barriers and... and it seems that Ilúvatar Himself has decreed it so."

That gave the two elves pause and both were silently ruminating the Elder King’s words and their implications for several minutes. Finally, Finrod looked up at the two Valar. "So what now?"

"Now, you need to concentrate on getting back home," Manwë said briskly. "Time enough to discuss this other matter later."

"But..."

"No, Glorfindel," Finrod said, his tone sharp. "Lord Manwë is correct. We’ve wasted nearly a week and we’re no closer to a solution than when we first arrived. We need... I need to return home. Whatever was done, was done and there’s nothing you or I or anyone else can do about it. It happened. Time to move on and...."

"Easy for you to say," Glorfindel snarled as he rose from his chair intending to stalk away. Finrod rose as well and blocked his path, his expression grim and uncompromising.

"Do you think so, Glorfindel?" he asked, his voice low. "Do you not think that I want nothing better than to castigate all the Valar on your behalf?"

Glorfindel gave him a look of surprise. Finrod nodded in confirmation. "However, now is not the time nor place for me or you to indulge in such fruitless endeavors. We need to concentrate on getting back home. Let the rest follow from there."

For a long moment the two elves stared at each other, but it was Glorfindel who finally looked away, his eyes downcast, his demeanor abject and defeated. Finally he nodded. Without looking at anyone he asked, "What do we do then?"

"Your pendant," Námo said. "It may hold the key, though we do not know how or why, but our brother Aulë imbued it with certain... properties about which Ingwë was unaware when he commissioned the piece."

"What properties?" Glorfindel asked, looking perplexed.

"Unfortunately, Aulë refuses to say," Manwë replied with a wry grin. Both elves stared at the Elder King in disbelief.

"But, why would he do that?" Finrod finally asked. "If he knows something that would help us...."

Manwë raised a hand to still him. "Apparently he is of the opinion that you should be the ones to discover these properties for yourself. I suspect that telling you about them will do you little good. You need to discover for yourselves in what manner that pendant can help you in your present situation."

"Seems rather unfair," Glorfindel muttered.

"Perhaps," Námo said with a smile, "but do you truly want us to do everything for you and give you all the answers?"

Both elves shook their heads.

"Nor do we want to do so," Manwë told them. "We are your teachers and your guardians, not your masters. If you are to leave this place and return to your proper sphere you must find the way yourselves. We will help as we can, but... Ilúvatar has made it known to me that you are the ultimate masters of your own fates."

For several long minutes no one spoke. Finrod and Glorfindel stared at one another as if gauging each other’s resolve. Finally Finrod nodded and took Glorfindel into his embrace and hugged him. "We can do this, brother," he said fervently. "We can do this, if we remain true to one another."

Glorfindel merely nodded, unable to voice his feelings. Manwë and Námo exchanged knowing glances and both stood at the same time. "We will leave you for the nonce," Manwë said. "Remember, my children, though it may seem so to you, you are never alone. Ilúvatar Himself watches over you as do we."

With that the two Valar faded, leaving the two elves alone again. Finrod moved away from Glorfindel so he could look the younger ellon in the eye. He gave him an encouraging smile. "Why don’t we take a look at that pendant of yours. I confess, I've never really examined it all that closely."

Glorfindel nodded. "Neither have I. I’ll go get it." With that he went into the tent to retrieve the pendant that could quite possibly hold the key to their fate while Finrod waited by the fire, pouring himself another mug of tea.