44: Words of Wisdom from the Lord of Mandos

Nyéreser thought it odd that Lord Námo would have him and Nasarindil bring Lisselindë to the Vala’s mansion in Valmar rather than to Mandos, but his was not to question the orders of his masters and so there they stood, the three of them, before the gates of Lord Námo’s mansion. The Maiar knew enough not to materialize within the mansion itself. Only those pledged to the Vala and his spouse could do so with impunity.

Thus, Nyéreser was unsurprised to see Ancalequirindë, who acted as Námo and Vairë’s steward in Valmar, standing at the gates waiting for them. She gave Nyéreser and Nasarindil a brief nod of acknowledgment, but ignored Lisselindë, who was still in the grip of terror that had settled over her at the announcement that she was to be taken before the Doomsman of Arda.

"My lord is waiting for you," Ancalequirindë said impassively. "If you will follow me."

Nyéreser and Nasarindil had to nearly drag poor Lisselindë with them and they kept a firm grip on her mind, preventing her from simply thinking herself away. Not that she could go anywhere in Eä and not be found, but why borrow trouble? Nyéreser was surprised though when Ancalequirindë led them, not up the steps of the front portico, but along a path that wended its way through the garden that surrounded the mansion. They went around to the west side where they could see the dead husks of the Trees looming before them and just beyond them the grim sight of the Máhanaxar. Ancalequirindë brought them through a leafy arcade into a private enclosure where there was a maze, of all things, the hedges of boxwood twice the height of the average elf.

Ancalequirindë turned to her fellow Maiar. "She goes in alone," she said with a nod to the maze’s entrance. "You may wait for her here."

Nyéreser and Nasarindil nodded and released their hold on Lisselindë. Nyéreser gave her a slight nudge. "Off you go," he said to her softly. "It’s best not to keep this particular Vala waiting."

Lisselindë took a deep breath, trying to control her fear. She wondered why she was being made to travel the maze. She decided to just think herself to its center, but when she tried she realized that there did not appear to be any recognizable coordinates for her to latch on to. It was almost as if the maze, or perhaps its center, did not exist, which made no sense. So, she would have to do it the hard way, just as if she were one of the mirroanwi.

She knew she had been in error in her reaction to Glorfindel’s words, but the absolute effrontery of the ellon had appalled her and she had allowed her anger to overcome her good sense. And now, here she was, about to face Lord Námo, of all the Valar the least forgiving of the sins of others, or so she imagined, never actually having had any dealings with him. She squared her shoulders but still hesitated to take that first, irrevocable step towards the maze’s entrance. Nasarindil put a hand on her shoulder and she turned to look at the Maia, whom she still counted as a friend, along with Nyéreser, even though they were now her guards.

Nasarindil’s expression was sympathetic. "We’ll be right here," was all she said, yet it seemed to be enough, for Lisselindë gave her a tremulous smile then turned and entered the maze. Looking back she was unsurprised to see that the entrance was no longer there. Taking a deep breath she followed the one path opened to her until she came to a branching of ways. She stopped for a moment before making a decision and took the right-hand path. She continued to take the right-hand fork whenever she came to a split in the path, only once encountering a dead-end. She had to retrace her route to the last fork and take the left-hand fork. Thereafter she continued to take the left branch until she suddenly found herself in the center of the maze.

It was not large, perhaps thirty paces square. There was a gazebo in the center where she saw Lord Námo sitting, watching her impassively. She gave him her obeisance, made slightly awkward by her nervousness.

"Well, you can at least make decisions and stick to them," was the Vala’s only comment as he gestured for her to approach and join him in the gazebo where a small table and two chairs took up most of the room. "Most people tend to flounder around for a while before sticking to a single route."

She could not tell if he approved of her decisiveness or not, for his tone and his expression gave nothing away. She sat down, keeping her hands and her eyes on her lap. For a long moment there was only silence. Then Námo spoke and his tone was cold.

"We are rather disappointed in you, Daughter."

Lisselindë cringed inwardly. ‘Daughter’ or ‘son’ were generally reserved for the Eldar. Some of the Valar might call the Maiar who were pledged to them by such as a sign of affection, but it was unheard of for any Vala to call one who was not pledged to him by such sobriquets. Lisselindë was not sure if Lord Námo calling her daughter was a good thing or not.

"We are wondering if you are serious in your desire to learn about the Firstborn from one of them," Námo continued.

"He thought I should be a thrall," the Maia ventured softly, not looking up.

"A reasonable suggestion," Námo said. "I’m sure he was thinking of Vorondil and how well he has progressed in his rehabilitation under Findaráto’s loving tutelage. As Glorfindel said, you could do much worse."

"Is that what you want me to be, then?" Lisselindë asked, not bothering to be polite. She raised her head to look at Námo, her eyes smoldering with anger and shame mixed. "Is that what I am to be reduced to, to be a thrall to one of the mirroanwi?"

"Had we wished that, my dear, be assured we would have turned you over to Findaráto at the trial," Námo answered equably. "However, since we did not, you need not act so outraged. I’m more inclined to make you Glorfindel’s thrall for the next century; the two of you almost deserve each other. However, my brother considers it cruel and unusual punishment for you both, so that option is out as well."

Lisselindë stared at Námo in uncertain shock, not sure if the Lord of Mandos was jesting, for his expression gave nothing away as to what he was feeling. Before she could reply to his words, though, Námo continued, his voice becoming even colder.

"You are at a crossroads, Lisselindë," he said. "You can either acquire a modicum of humility and learn from Glorfindel what he will teach you about the Eldar in the two weeks agreed upon or you can go your merry way in arrogance and defiance until we will have no choice but to exile you lest you corrupt your brethren with your rebellion. Trust me when I say that we would have no compunction in doing so. If nothing else, Melkor taught us that particular lesson."

Lisselindë blanched and found herself trembling. The very thought of being expunged from the society of the Ainur, to be labeled a rebel, sickened her and she did not know how to respond to such a threat, or rather a promise, for she believed every word the Lord of Mandos spoke and saw the truth in his eyes.

She shook her head, trying to make sense of the emotions roiling within her, feeling confused and out of her depth. "I thought I knew them," she muttered, looking back down at her lap so she did not see the look of pity on the Vala’s face. "I’ve observed them over the ages since they first stepped ashore. I thought I had Findaráto figured out from the beginning, but now... and Glorfindel.... he just confuses me."

A ghost of a smile lit the Vala’s mien, though Lisselindë did not see. "He confuses us all, my dear," he said, "but that’s no excuse for treating him as you did. And your intent to bring Findaráto down a peg or two... that was ill-conceived as well, born out of arrogance rather than out of an actual concern for his spiritual well-being. Nor was it your right to do so."

"Whose right is it?" she asked in all sincerity. After all, was that not the purpose of the Ainur, to correct the Children when they strayed?

"Certainly not ours," Námo answered. "We may advise, we may caution, but we cannot command and only Atar has the right to chastise any of us. You know as well as I that when the Noldor left we did not stay them, little though we liked their going. Even when they eventually came to me they were shown mercy rather than vengeance for their truculence. If any correction is to be had it will occur from within the Eldarin society itself. Arafinwë or Ingwë, even Glorfindel, would be the proper ones to chastise Findaráto if they deemed it necessary."

"Then what are we to do?" the Maia demanded. "Are we just to stand by and watch them make fools of themselves?"

"If necessary," Námo replied, "just as Atar stood by and watched us make fools of ourselves from time to time."

That thought brought Lisselindë up short and she remembered those days before days when Arda had yet to be created and what they did then. Some of their actions had indeed been foolish in retrospect. She sighed, looking back down to her lap. "Then what is our purpose?"

Námo leaned over and placed a hand on the Maia’s chin, forcing her to look up. "Love them," he said gently. "All we are required to do is love them, nothing more and certainly nothing less."

"Yet, isn’t a part of love chastising the beloved when they stray?" she asked.

"You were not attempting to chastise Findaráto out of love but out of your own arrogance," Námo replied. "And your response to Glorfindel proves it with all your protestations about being a Maia and therefore somehow superior to the Eldar."

"But we are!" Lisselindë protested. "Just as the Valar are our superiors."

"Yet have you ever known any of us to lord it over you and the other Maiar?" Námo replied. "There is only one of us who has ever done so and he now resides in the Void."

Lisselindë shivered involuntarily. Silence enveloped them as Námo allowed her time to think over his words. The Maia struggled to gather what shreds of dignity she still possessed as she addressed the Vala. "Still, Glorfindel had no right to... to chastise me as he did before...."

"On the contrary," Námo interrupted coldly. "We applaud him for it, for your chastisement was richly deserved and if he had not done so, be assured, Daughter, that we would have and our brand of chastisement would have been less merciful. You said you wished to know the Eldar better and at the same time help Glorfindel. While it was not your intent, your actions cemented his resolve to teach you what he can. I suggest you take his lessons to heart, my dear. You may not get another chance."

Lisselindë sighed and nodded, feeling defeated, all her neatly thought out defenses torn to shreds. "I will do my best, lord," she said humbly and meant it.

"That is all any of us are ever asked to do," Námo said gently. "Now, you can find your way out of the maze on your own. Just reverse your path. You will not be seeing Glorfindel tomorrow. My sister has decided you both need a day to calm down. Nyéreser and Nasarindil will escort you back to Nienna’s."

It was a dismissal and the Maia stood and bowed to the Vala. Without another word she reentered the maze and was soon lost to sight. A moment later Irmo and Nienna appeared in the gazebo, for it was a construct of the Valar and they knew its coordinates well enough.

"Do you think she got the message?" Irmo asked.

Námo shrugged. "Time will tell. She’s not the only one with a superiority complex towards the Eldar, but hopefully her downfall will be the wake-up call for any others who might feel inclined to lord it over the Children."

"If you are amenable, brother," Nienna said to Irmo, "I would like to send Lisselindë to you just for the day."

"Any particular reason?" Irmo said. "I made it clear that I would not accept her back in Lórien until such time as we all agreed to release her to me."

"And that still holds," Nienna said, "but I understand you have a new batch of Returnees who have come to you for healing. I would like Lisselindë to spend the day following one of your Lóriennildi as they minister to these poor unfortunates."

"Ah..." Irmo said, nodding, divining his sister’s plan. "I think that can be arranged. Laurendil might do."

Námo gave his younger brother an approving look. "And everyone accuses me of being devious."

His siblings just laughed and soon the three of them thought themselves away from the maze to go their separate ways.