49: A Quest Conceived

When Glorfindel and Nyéreser returned to where they had left Lisselindë and Tiutalion, they found Lady Nienna there as well. Elf and Maia gave her their obeisance and Nienna gestured for Glorfindel to approach, giving him an approving smile. "That was very well done, Glorfindel," she said, "but I am curious to know why you asked for your bow rather than your sword."

Glorfindel frowned in thought. "Truthfully, lady, I do not know. I think unconsciously I have refrained from taking up my sword in fear of... of having it taken from me." He gave her a deprecating grin. "I was actually surprised when I demanded my sword the other day and it was given to me. Asking for my bow seemed... er... safer."

Nienna’s expression became thoughtful. "You think we no longer trust you with a sword because of what happened between you and Findaráto."

Glorfindel nodded. "Something like that."

"Well, we would indeed be very uneasy if you and Findaráto ever decided to spar against one another under similar circumstances, but truly, you have no fear that we would prevent you from using your sword in defense of others." She gave him a wry smile. "We Valar are many things, child, but stupid is not one of them, at least not very often, and it would be very unintelligent of us if we denied you your heritage. Take up your sword, Glorfindel, whenever you see a need to do so. We will not gainsay you."

Glorfindel bowed, looking more relieved. "Thank you, lady."

Nienna nodded, then turned her attention to Lisselindë. "You are puzzled, my dear," she said.

The Maia nodded, her expression unreadable to the elf. "Why did I not sense the alatyauli yet Glorfindel did?"

Nienna turned to Glorfindel. "Did you sense them?" she asked.

The ellon shook his head. "No. I only sensed that there was something wrong, something not right, but if my life depended on it I could not tell you what that something was or even how I knew it was there. I only knew that I had to...to confront it."

Nienna nodded then turned back to Lisselindë. "You did not sense the alatyauli because I prevented you from doing so." Both Glorfindel and Lisselindë had similar expressions of shock and disbelief on their faces. Nienna hid a smile and continued. "I wished to see how you would respond to Glorfindel’s reactions to the presence of evil and his request for weapons."

"Why?" Glorfindel and Lisselindë asked almost at the same time.

Now Nienna could not help but smile. She turned to Tiutalion and Nyéreser. "You may go," she said. Tiutalion offered to take Glorfindel’s bow and quiver of arrows with him and Glorfindel handed them over with his thanks. The two Maiar gave the Valië their obeisance before fading from view. Nienna gestured for the other two to join her beneath a nearby linden tree under which were a single chair and two stools. Taking the chair, she indicated that they should sit on the stools and Glorfindel had the distinct impression that he and Lisselindë were being treated by Lady Nienna almost as elflings sitting before their tutor. The thought did not rankle him too much, for he knew himself to be ignorant of many things and was willing to learn from those who would teach him. He wasn’t too sure if Lisselindë felt the same way and suspected that the Maia was less than pleased at the thought of being relegated to the schoolroom, in a manner of speaking.

For a moment Nienna remained silent, gauging the mental and emotional states of the two sitting before her. Glorfindel was calm, his expression inquisitive, obviously open to learning from her. His earlier moods of apathy and sullen anger were gone and she suspected the ‘workout’ with Manwë’s Maiar had done much to release some of that dark mood from him, that, and the day spent with Niondil had also helped him to regain his equilibrium.

Lisselindë, on the other hand, was still feeling resentful, though she kept her expression carefully neutral and her emotions tightly under control. She had not liked Glorfindel’s tone when he refused to answer her question or his command for her to remain behind. She still was refusing to understand her role in all this.

"There are a couple of reasons why I did what I did," the Valië finally said. "The first concerns you, Glorfindel. I and the other Valar were curious to know to what extent you are capable of sensing the presence of evil."

Glorfindel felt his eyebrows leave his forehead. "Is there a reason why I should be able to?"

"Perhaps," came the reply. "Had it only been the wolves chasing the deer you would not have sensed them, for the wolves would only have been acting as their nature dictates. There would be no evil intent in them."

Glorfindel nodded. "While I would have regretted the death of any of the deer, I would not have intervened, for to do so would have meant denying the natural order of things. Only if the wolves had threatened me or another elf would I have stepped in."

Nienna smiled. "And so we thought. Thus, when the situation arose where actual evil was present we decided to see how you reacted to it."

"Yet, are not the alatyauli entitled to their kills?" Glorfindel asked. "How else would they survive?"

Nienna nodded. "You are correct, but you fail to understand what was happening here. The alatyauli, in their natural forms, play an important ecological role within their own environment, something similar to that which the wolves and other predators serve here within Aman proper. However, my Fallen Brother took some of them and warped them, giving them a heightened intelligence that they were never meant to have, imbuing them with evil intent. They, in fact, became unnatural creatures of the Dark."

"Lord Oromë hunts them," Glorfindel said, putting the pieces together.

"Yes, he does," Nienna replied. "He is unsure how they managed to come this far south without his knowledge. That disturbs him. It disturbs us all. Yet we welcomed the situation, for it gave us an opportunity to see you in action."

For some reason her words caused Glorfindel to blush and Nienna gave him a merry laugh. "Do not fret, child. We suspect that sooner or later a situation would have arisen where you would act as you did here. We are well pleased that such an ability to sense the presence of evil exists within you."

He gave her a puzzled look. "Does it not lie within us all?"

She shook her head. "Unfortunately no. Oh, do not mistake me. The Firstborn are gifted with the ability to resist succumbing to evil, but they can be deluded by it, as you yourself are aware." The ellon nodded and she continued. "The ability to detect evil in others who may show a fair face to all, however, is a rare gift. Findaráto has it and certainly his sister, others as well, but perhaps not as strongly. We are pleased that the ability lies in you as well."

"And why is that?" he asked, though he suspected he would not get a true answer and was not too disappointed when it was not forthcoming.

"The reasons for that will become clearer in time, Glorfindel," she said. "For now, it behooves us to see that you strengthen the innate power which you possess. There may be a time when you will have great need of it. You sensed something wrong in this instance, but could not put a name to that wrongness, am I correct?"

He nodded, looking thoughtful.

"Well, if you are willing, we will train you to use this power to its fullest so that you will understand what you are sensing."

"I would like that, thank you," Glorfindel said simply.

Nienna nodded, satisfied, then turned to Lisselindë, who had remained quiet all this time. "As for you, my dear, we wished to see what you would do in a situation where one of the Firstborn has, shall we say, an advantage over you. Under other circumstances, you would have sensed the alatyauli long before Glorfindel did. I kept you from sensing them in this case to illustrate an important point."

"And what point is that, lady?" Lisselindë asked meekly enough.

"That even you, a Maia with ages upon uncounted ages of experience with which the experiences of even the oldest of the Firstborn cannot compare, do not know everything. If you had acceded to Glorfindel’s request for his weapons, you would have been permitted to join him in the hunt, acting as a partner to him, protecting him the way Nyéreser did. That was to be your role in all this, child, but you failed to understand that."

She paused to allow her words to sink in. Lisselindë’s expression remained unreadable, at least to Glorfindel, who kept his own expression neutral. He thought about Lord Oromë’s Maiar fighting the alatyauli and his own feelings of inadequacy at the time. If even someone like Lisselindë, whom he had not thought of as all that threatening, fought in a similar manner, he would make it a point from now on to be very careful never to make her angry.

Lisselindë sighed, looking more chagrined as she realized the import of the Valië’s words. "I’m not doing so well, am I?" she finally said.

"My dear, we don’t expect rehabilitation overnight," Nienna said kindly. "Such things take time. I’m sure you remember how long it took to bring my brother Námo around." She gave her a knowing grin which the Maia returned. Glorfindel sat there watching the interchange with obvious interest, but knew that he would not be enlightened, so he kept his thoughts to himself.

"I’ll try better next time, lady," Lisselindë then said, her expression more rueful as she cast her eyes down.

"I’m sure you will, dear," Nienna said warmly. "Just keep in mind that Ilúvatar meant for us to be the elder siblings to the younger races, not their masters. We are here to teach as well as to be companions to them on their life’s journey. That is perhaps more true for the Firstborn than the Secondborn, for they dwell here in Aman among us."

The Maia nodded and gave Glorfindel a shy smile. "I am sorry for earlier," she said contritely enough. "I did not understand."

"That makes two of us," Glorfindel said with a brighter smile. "Sometimes I have to wonder which of us is crazier, you for agreeing to learn from me, or me for agreeing to let you." He shook his head in bemusement. "I really should be back in Tirion. Atar must think I’ve deserted him."

Nienna smiled, leaning over to place a hand on the ellon’s shoulder. "I assure you he thinks no such thing. In fact, I think he’s rather grateful that you are not there at the moment."

"Why?" Glorfindel asked in surprise.

"I have it on the best authority that he’s having a difficult enough time handling Sador and Beleg. He’s very happy that you’re not there causing trouble as well."

Glorfindel scrunched his face in dismay. "Is that what he thinks, that I just cause trouble?" His tone was one of hurt and uncertainty.

"Not at all!" Nienna assured him. "Arafinwë loves you, but he knows that you are still in, shall we say, elfling mode." She laughed lightly at the scowl on his face. "That is not meant to be a disparagement, child, merely the truth." She suddenly stood and the other two hastily got to their feet. "Now, I think that’s enough for the day. Glorfindel, Tiutalion has some lunch waiting for you, so you might as well go back to the cottage."

"We didn’t really finish our walk," Glorfindel said in a somewhat surly tone.

"You’ll have to finish it another time," Nienna said, "as I need Lisselindë for something else. Now, off you go. You’ve done good work this day, child. Know that I and the other Valar are well pleased with you. After your lunch, amuse yourself as you will but stay near the cottage. If you would like, perhaps rather than joining me for dinner I will join you instead. I will leave it to you and Tiutalion to devise the menu."

Glorfindel arched an eyebrow at that, but nodded. "I suppose we can manage something," he said in a noncommittal tone.

Nienna smiled warmly. "Good. I will see you then."

The ellon bowed and strode off towards the cottage, leaving Nienna and Lisselindë alone in the glade.

****

When Glorfindel reached the cottage he found Tiutalion there putting a light lunch of creamed spinach soup and a salad of early spring greens on the table. "Lady Nienna has invited herself to dinner," he said to the Maia without preamble. "Any idea what we should serve her?" He eyed the dining table with a critical eye. It was rather plain looking and not very large. He wasn’t even sure if they had any table linens such as graced the Valië’s dining table.

"What sort of dinner would you like to have?" Tiutalion asked.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, formal or informal, elaborate or simple."

"Oh." Glorfindel sighed as he sat down before his lunch, drumming his fingers on the table, thinking. He had found the dinners with Nienna to be somewhat strained, for there was always a sense that he should be on his best behavior and so the dinners had been stiff and formal in tone. Thinking about it though, he realized that that had been his perception. Lady Nienna had been prepared to treat him however he wished to be treated, even if she would have preferred to treat him differently. He recognized now the love and concern that she had for him, and that she wished only to be his friend.

"Do you think it will be a fair night tonight?" he asked the Maia, a plan forming in his mind. He was tired of all the formalities of the previous dinners with the Valië. He would prefer something a little less structured.

"It will be a clear night," Tiutalion answered. "Isil is already risen and will set near midnight."

Glorfindel nodded. "Then, I think I know just what kind of dinner I would like to have," he said, giving the Maia a grin. "That is, if you’re willing to help me pull it off."

Tiutalion bowed. "I would be honored."

"Good," the ellon said, as he picked up his soup spoon and began eating. "So this is what I was thinking...."

****

Tiutalion exacted a promise from all the other Maiar in Nienna’s service to keep quiet about the dinner arrangements. Glorfindel wanted it to be a surprise and Tiutalion was willing to help make it so. He went to Lady Nienna to inform her that dinner would not be until an hour or so after sunset.

"You did not give us much notice," he said, "and Glorfindel wants to make this perfect for you."

"I’m not asking him to lay out a seven-course feast," she said in amusement.

"Good," Tiutalion said with a smile, "because that’s not what you’re getting."

Nienna’s curiosity was now piqued but she promised that she would remain ignorant of everything. "I’ll go visit Vairë for the rest of the day," she said. "My sister has just completed a new tapestry and I wish to see it."

"I will call you when all is ready," Tiutalion said with a bow and went to help Glorfindel complete the preparations.

****

When the summons came, Nienna followed Tiutalion’s request and walked to the cottage from her house instead of simply thinking herself there. The Maia was waiting for her outside. The cottage itself appeared to be dark. She gave him a quizzical look. Tiutalion bowed. "If you will follow me, my lady, your table is waiting."

"Lead on, then," she said with suppressed amusement and refrained from commenting when the Maia led her down the path leading to the beach. Even before they reached it she could see that a fire had been built there. Glorfindel could be clearly seen silhouetted against the firelight, with the stars shining brightly and Isil, nearly full, climbing down the western sky. As she and Tiutalion reached the beach she saw Glorfindel rise from the piece of driftwood on which he had been sitting, stirring something in a pot suspended on a tripod over the fire. There was also a small table set between the chair and the piece of driftwood on which were placed a couple of trenchers, goblets and a decanter of wine as well as a cloth-covered bowl.

He bowed to her as she reached the fire. "Welcome, my lady," he said. "Please be seated." He gestured to a straight-back chair with arms that apparently had been brought down from the cottage.

"And where will you sit?" she asked, for she noticed there was only the one chair.

Glorfindel pointed to the piece of driftwood. "I will sit here," he said. "I need to keep an eye on dinner anyway."

The driftwood was large and could easily seat three people. "If it’s all the same to you, I think I will join you on the driftwood."

Before Glorfindel could formulate a reply, she sat down, gathering her grey gown about her, and actually putting out her hands to the flames as if seeking the fire’s warmth. Glorfindel glanced at Tiutalion who merely shrugged.

"I will leave you then," he said, giving them both a bow. "If you need anything, just call out." With that, he walked away back up the path to the cottage.

"It smells good," Nienna said. "A rabbit stew, I take it?"

Glorfindel turned and poured some wine into goblets, handing one to her. "Yes. I caught the rabbits myself this afternoon. I hope you don’t mind. I... I just thought eating by a campfire would be... fun."

"It usually is, unless one is on the run from orcs, I understand," Nienna said with a faint smile as she sipped on the wine. Glorfindel gave her a sharp look, then blushed, realizing she was teasing him and was not taking any offense at his decision to have their dinner on the beach.

"This is very good," she said appreciatively.

Glorfindel laughed as he sat down next to her. "I’m glad you think so. Tiutalion stole it from your own cellars."

Nienna raised an eyebrow, giving the ellon an amused look. "I’ll have to reward him for his... initiative."

"I hope he doesn’t get into trouble on my account," the elf said more soberly.

"Have no fear for him, child," Nienna said soothingly. "I rather approve of Tiutalion’s outlook on life. He has a mischievous streak that’s worse than yours. Pallando often despairs of him, but I’ve always enjoyed his sense of humor. So, what possessed you to decide on having dinner here?"

Glorfindel did not answer immediately but stared into the fire, his expression contemplative. "When we first settled in Vinyamar," he finally said, "Turgon would sometimes take Idril onto the beach and build a bonfire. She loved it. Some of us would go hunting earlier in the day and bring back rabbit or deer and then cook it in a stew over the fire. If the weather was fair, Turgon would allow Idril to sleep under the stars, with a suitable guard, of course." He smiled as he said it, though his eyes were dark with memory.

"Of course," Nienna said in agreement. "That goes without saying. Turucáno was many things, but where it came to his daughter, he was no fool."

"It always surprised me how readily he accepted Tuor as Idril’s husband," Glorfindel said as he took a seat at one end of the driftwood, staring into the fire. "He had little use for Mortals, though he was fond of Húrin and Huor." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I just wish he had listened to Tuor in the end."

"We all do," Nienna said quietly, "yet we knew that there was a good chance he would not, and so we were forced to wait longer than we wanted to before we could act."

The ellon gave her a puzzled look. "If he had listened to Lord Ulmo’s words...."

"Things might have gone differently, or they might not have," Nienna said firmly. "There is no way to say, and it is a useless exercise in futility playing ‘what if’. Turucáno did not heed Ulmo’s words, and from that all else flows. We are left to deal with what is, not with what might have been."

"So, I could have died regardless," Glorfindel stated, taking a deep breath to steady himself.

"Perhaps," Nienna replied. "Does it really matter, child? You died and now you are living with the consequences of having died, just as Findaráto does and Sador and Beleg and all the others."

"Living with the consequences of having died," Glorfindel repeated slowly, giving the Valië a wry look. "A contradiction in terms I think."

"Life is full of contradictions, Glorfindel," Nienna said with amusement. "Now, unless I’m mistaken, your stew is about to burn."

Glorfindel jumped up. "Pui-en-orch!" he cried even as he swung the kettle out of the fire. "And I wanted this to be perfect," he said with a sigh.

"I’m sure it’s only burned a little on the bottom," Nienna said. "The rest should be just fine."

Glorfindel nodded and began dishing out the stew into wooden trenchers, handing one to Nienna along with a spoon. He also took the cloth-covered bowl and set it between them, removing the cloth to reveal some freshly baked bread. Nienna tasted the stew and smiled at the ellon sitting beside her with an expectant look on his face.

"Very good," she said. "I did not realize you had such culinary skills."

Glorfindel blushed, looking pleased. "I learned to cook over a campfire out of pure survival. There was little in the way of herbs and such along our trek across the Helcaraxë, so we made do with what was available to us. Once in Beleriand, we learned from our Sindarin neighbors the properties of the herbs and plants that were unfamiliar to us. I spent the first fifty years in Beleriand hunting down orcs, spending days, even weeks, on patrol, making sure the land of Nevrast was free of the vermin. We all took turns cooking. I got rather good at it."

Before Nienna could respond to him, there was a stir in the waters and Ulmo rose out of the sea, moving slowly towards them. Glorfindel started to rise, a look of shock on his face, but Nienna held him down.

"Mind if I join you?" the Lord of Waters asked as he reached the fire, not even dripping.

Nienna pointed to the chair. "Help yourself."

"I believe I will," the Vala said and a trencher appeared in his hands as he bent over the kettle to ladle some of the stew into it.

Nienna, meanwhile called forth another goblet and poured some wine for him. "It’s from my own cellars," she said and Ulmo nodded as he sat in the chair.

Glorfindel just sat there, staring at the fire, his meal forgotten, wondering what was happening. He felt a little resentful, for he had been looking forward to the meal under the stars and had actually felt relaxed in Nienna’s presence for the first time since coming to her place. Now, however, he could feel himself stiffening again with Ulmo’s arrival. The sense of well-being he had been enjoying fled.

"You shouldn’t let your dinner go cold," Nienna said to him softly.

He stirred from his contemplation but did not look at her. "I’ve lost my appetite. If you’ll excuse me...." He started to rise, meaning to leave the two Valar to themselves, but Nienna stayed him again, pulling him back down onto the driftwood.

Ulmo watched him under hooded eyes, his expression unreadable in the flickering light of the campfire. He took a slow sip of the wine before speaking. "I heard you speaking about Tuor and thought I would join the conversation."

Glorfindel turned to him in surprise. "How could you hear us? We weren’t speaking that loudly."

Ulmo and Nienna shared amused looks before the Vala answered him. "You are sitting on a beach," he explained. "All that is said near water comes to my attention. I heard you from across the seas and decided to drop by, as I believe the saying goes. Good stew, by the way. My compliments to the cook."

"Glorfindel made it," Nienna said with a fond smile for the ellon, sitting there trying to digest Ulmo’s words.

"Ah... an ellon of many talents," Ulmo said, "not the least of which, I hear, is the ability to detect the presence of evil."

"Lady Nienna mentioned something about training me," Glorfindel said.

The Valië nodded. "We can begin in the morning if you like. I’ll have Lisselindë give you your first lesson."

"Lisselindë!?" Glorfindel exclaimed. "I thought maybe one of the Valar...."

"Oh, we are far too occupied with other, more weighty, matters than teaching you something every Maia knows," Ulmo said gravely, "though I grant you, Lisselindë is probably not the best choice as a tutor. However, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Other Maiar will take over your training once you have the basics down."

"Still...." Glorfindel couldn’t help saying, but Nienna shook her head.

"I’ve already told Lisselindë that one of her duties will be to teach you about this ability. She will help you, even as you are helping her."

"I guess," the ellon said somewhat hesitantly.

"Good," Nienna said with a tone of satisfaction. "You’ll leave tomorrow."

"Leave?"

Both Valar nodded, though it was Ulmo who spoke. "In order to learn to detect the presence of evil, you need to be in its presence."

"Where will we go, then?" Glorfindel asked in confusion. "No evil exists in Aman."

"In Aman, perhaps not," Nienna conceded, "but Valinor is a wide continent, most of it unexplored. Evil creatures roam the wilderness, creatures Oromë hunts to this very day."

"Now, enough talk about this," Ulmo said decisively. "Tomorrow will take care of itself. I’m more interested in hearing you speak of Tuor. A rather dense young man, as I recall. I had a terrible time getting him to Gondolin. Foolish Mortal kept stalling, wandering about the countryside smelling the flowers as if he were on a picnic or something."

Glorfindel couldn’t help but laugh at the description. "Turgon called him feckless when he first met him, but he seemed to mature rapidly enough. I suppose the sight of Idril gave him an incentive to... er... grow up."

He gave them a dry look and the two Valar laughed. Nienna rose gracefully and ladled some more stew into Glorfindel’s trencher. "Why don’t you tell us what you recall about Tuor and Idril," she suggested as she handed him his trencher.

He took it readily enough, suddenly realizing he was still hungry. The ellon spent a couple of minutes eating and then washing it all down with some wine while the two Valar sat patiently waiting for him to speak. Finally, feeling full and more relaxed, he began to reminisce. "Tuor’s coming was a shock to us all. I remember being summoned to Turgon’s court...."

The moon was setting, casting a silvery glow upon the dark waters of the sea, before Glorfindel finished his tale. He would never know that his appreciative audience included more than just the two Valar sitting with him by the fire. All the other Valar, and several Maiar, were listening in with rapt attention as the ellon spoke of one of the most momentous events in the history of Arda: the coming of Tuor to Gondolin.

And all the while, as he spoke of those times, an inchoate desire rose in Glorfindel’s heart, a desire he kept carefully hidden within the depths of his fëa where not even the Valar could sense it: to seek out the grandson of his king and fulfill his oath to Turgon.