3. A Meager Dinner

"What is this?" Bombur said.  "And where's the rest of it?"

"That," Bifur said, "is your dinner.  We've arranged with the servers to help you in restraining your eating a bit."

"What?"

"You agreed to miss a bite or two," Bofur clarified from where he was stirring the pot of gravy to break up the lumps.

"A bite or two.  Not most of my meal, thank you.  This would hardly be enough to keep a starving miner on his feet."

"You are hardly a starving miner," Bifur pointed out and began cutting up his own portion of fowl.

Bombur looked doubtfully at the plump roasted chicken that lay on a platter before him and pulled the whole thing over with a snort.  "Scrawny.  Must have been starving itself…" he mumbled as he expertly pulled it apart.  He stuck one of the drumsticks entirely in his mouth and pulled it back out sans meat, as a child might eat a plum. "Where’s the soup?"

"It's in front of you," Bifur said. 

"One bowl of soup? You're jesting with me. "

"One bowl is sufficient for most."

He considered this for only a moment then looked around the room. "Where'd the rest of the pot go?"  It had been his custom to keep it close at hand so he could dip into it frequently, often til he reached the dregs.

Bofur poured a soft mound of gravy over his own chicken and bread, then passed it to Bifur, who also poured a small pool and set it aside.

"Hey now! Pass the gravy," Bombur said, beginning to look quite disgruntled about it. "I said I was willing to cut back a little bit, not to cut back to nothing.  What's a meal without gravy?"

Bifur and Bofur looked at one another.

Bilbo, perhaps moved by a shred of sympathetic pity, decided he would speak up on his friend's behalf. "I must admit the chicken is a bit dry, I'm sure just a smidgen of gravy wouldn't make much difference, would it?"

Bifur sighed and reluctantly passed the gravy to Bombur who promptly poured the entire remaining contents over his chicken.  Ignoring his cousins' small sounds of dismay, he broke a loaf in half and began mopping the gravy up with it, pausing only to grumble when he noted that there was only the one loaf.

They resumed eating in unusual silence. It appeared getting Bombur to miss a few bites was going to be more of a struggle than they had originally thought.  The platter in front of him was rapidly converted to no more than a stack of bones, an empty soup bowl and a very clean gravy boat.

Bombur looked down at his plate with a doleful expression. "I'm still hungry."

"Don't worry," Bofur said and clapped for the server, who quickly brought in two covered silver dishes and set them on the table, whisking away the dirty dishes as he did so.  Bombur truly smiled for the first time that evening.  "Dessert!" he said.

"Well, not exactly…" Bofur said cautiously as his large cousin eagerly lifted the lids. 

"Carrots?!" Bombur looked horrified. 

Bilbo, who was trying to harden his resolve to help keep the hefty dwarf restrained looked with interest at the dish heaped with slices of the steamed orange roots.  "I suppose if you added a bit of pepper and butter they might not be so bad…"  He rather liked carrots himself and considered offering to eat them in Bombur's stead if he didn't want them. 

Bombur turned with a sort of growing desperation to the smaller dish.  "A…pickle….?"  He poked at it with his fork.

"They're supposed to aid the stomach," Bifur said, "or so I've heard.  For digestion."

Bombur glowered at the pickle then turned back to the carrots.  Bilbo needn't have worried they'd go to waste; in spite of his complaints, short work was made of inhaling the carrots. Gathering momentum, he even ate the pickle.

"Worst meal of my life," he said.

Bilbo was sympathetic, but didn't want to undermine the efforts.  He tried to be positive.  "Just think of all the money you'll save!"  This was usually a strong motivator for any Dwarf. 

"Oh yes!" Bifur and Bofur chimed, wishing they'd thought of that angle themselves.

Bombur's only reply was a drawn-out sigh. "How long does this take?"  He looked down dolefully at his own belly.

"I've no idea. I've never tried it myself," Bilbo said. "At least not voluntarily.  But I'm sure it won't be that long.  Considering how often meals come and go if you just miss a few here and there, it shouldn't take long at all."

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