I cannot believe that you are gone.

You despise the one who led you away, who kept your atar’s love from you. Yet you followed. Why could you not let wisdom guide you this one time? It pleased the Valar that you swore an oath in reconciliation with one who saw nothing to reconcile with you. Yet you also swore an oath as regent of your people to guide, serve, and protect them.

In your folly, you believed that following Fëanáro to Endorë would allow you to fulfill both claims on you, for you would lead those who wished to depart but would not take Fëanáro as their liege. In your folly, you left the very city which desperately needs you as king. In your folly, you took our ambitious children to fight a war against the mightiest and deadliest of the Valar, to face an uncertain doom. In your folly, you abandoned wisdom and left me behind.

My devotions to my friends, my people, and the Valar would not let me go with you. Why could your devotion to me not allow you to remain behind?

It is so very difficult to face the continuing darkness with empty arms and only an empty bed to escape to. Silence permeates the very walls while loneliness walks the halls.

Will my little granddaughter remember me in the time to come until my family returns? Will my other children wed? Who will claim their hearts? Who will hold them close? Who will comfort you, my Nolofinwë, while we are apart?

I never realized how much the roles of wife and mother defined me until I was bereft of it all. Please come home soon, my precious ones. Please come home soon. I miss you.

Eärwen and I try our best to guide and rule what is left of our people in this large forsaken city. So many skilled hands have left, it is difficult to accomplish anything, but we try with what few resources we still have. But I have hope. We will carry on and we will prevail. And one day our reasons for doing so will be returned to our awaiting arms.

Why even now, Eärwen sends joyous word that many of our people are returning. I rush to join her in welcoming them back. I cannot wait to hold you all in my arms again.