Frodo Baggins

Said Frodo, "that little sod Sméagol
Nicked my Ring, which I'm sure is illegal,
But a hobbit who lingers
Might run out of fingers
So I'm catching the very next eagle."

Samwise Gamgee

Samwise said, "well you see,
If vacations were left up to me
You shouldn't be countin'
On climbing a mountain,
I'll get hot and you know I can't ski."

Meriadoc Brandybuck

"Just follow me," shouted Merry,
"I'll show you the way to the ferry.
If it's too far to walk
Hitch a ride on an orc,
It's cheap – though the service does vary."

Peregrin Took

When Strider put him on a diet
Pippin just couldn't keep quiet,
"If I had my way
I'd eat six meals a day!
Don't knock it, at least till you try it!"

Aragorn son of Arathorn

Aragorn said, "there'll be trouble
If Arwen bursts Éowyn's bubble
But perhaps they'll behave
If I don't have a shave,
Birds all like a bloke with some stubble!"

Boromir of Gondor

Boromir said, "here's the thing,
It's not that I want to be King,
But it would be a pity
To lose the White City,
So just give us a loan of your Ring."

Prince Legolas of Mirkwood

Said Legolas, "to stay in good health
You have to look after yourself.
But if you're relying
On being undying,
You won't make it, unless you're an elf."

Gimli son of Gloin

Gimli said, "I'm not one to moan,
Though my cousin went off on his own
To live in a mine,
which is all well and fine,
But he could at least pick up the phone!"

Gandalf the Grey
Gandalf the Grey said "I've a notion,
That the Balrog will cause a commotion
But if I win the fight
I can move up to White
Which is a not such a bad staff promotion!"