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Till We Have Faces  by Antane

“Do you think right for Frodo to relive his journey again?” Boromir asked Bilbo the next morning, as he sat by the ancient hobbit’s bedside. “I have traveled with him as I may. I marvel at his courage, but I can also see that he suffers from the horror he endures. It is almost too much for me. I cannot imagine how he can bear it.”

Bilbo looked up at Boromir. Tears glistened in the hobbit’s eyes but did not fall. “It grieves me more than I can tell you that he had to do so and continues to do so.” But then he smiled and patted the man’s hand. “I am also more grateful than I can say that you are here to walk beside him in his darkness.  I do think he needs to do this, as hard as it is on himself and on us, but we must not let our own distress hinder his healing. If he knew how much pain it was causing us, he would wish to continue alone. And he must not be.”

“He will not be. I know the light of the Lady goes with him.”

“He needs you too.”

“And he shall have me. But what else can I do besides be at his side? I wish I could truly go with him on the dark paths he travels rather than remain outside.”

“As do I, but I deem you are with him more than you know. He need not fear opening himself up to the pain and the memory with you as he would with me. And he needs to reopen those wounds that have never truly closed so he can drain them of the poison that keeps him from healing. Do not think you are doing nothing but being at his side. You are with him as much as Sam was and that is a mighty gift. Indeed you are closer in that regard because you have traveled more deeply into the darkness of the Ring.”

Boromir flushed with shame, but Bilbo smiled. “That is actually a good thing. Our lad was always given the guardians he needed at the times he needed them. You are that now, alongside the Powers who have ever watched over him. Perhap you could see the Lady Galadriel for any counsel she could give, for she fought with the same temptation of the Ring as you two did, so Frodo told me.”

Boromir’s eyes filled with wonder. “Indeed?”

“Has he not shared that with you?”

“No.”

“Seek her out. The Elves do not give counsel without grave consideration, so anything she says will have immense value. I have lived long enough among them to know that. Galadriel won her battle only after a fierce struggle. Go to her.”

“Seek her I shall then.”

Bilbo smiled.

* * *

Boromir waited anxiously outside Galadriel’s chambers. He looked up as another Elf exited the room. “My Lady will see you ”

Boromir licked dry lips and then stepped inside. He was aware of the door closing behind him and the Lady of the Golden Wood standing before him. He bowed his head.

“Please sit, my lord Boromir,” Galadriel said graciously, as she took her own seat. “You wish my counsel about the Ring-bearer?”

Boromir sat rigidly at the edge of an ornately craved chair. “Yes, my Lady. He is writing once more of his journey and reliving it as intensely as he had lived the first time. I fear for him.”

“You need not. He travels on a long, dark Road, but hold to your hope that his healing awaits at the end, as long as he remains true.” She looked directly into his eyes. Boromir steeled  himself not to flinch but did not think he entirely succeeded. Galadriel smiled. “Be at peace. I am glad you are with him.”

Boromir let out the breath he hardly knew he was holding. He slumped somewhat in relief. “Thank you, my Lady. I...I know you saw my heart more clearly in your wood than I did, or perhap it would be truer that I saw it most clearly as you showed it to me.”

“As Frodo gently confronted me with mine. I grant you it was not easy for the Company and then for myself, unforeseen as that was, but it was necessary and in the end I welcomed it. The Ring would have twisted us both to something never intended. We had to face that before we could triumph over it. We both did in the end and were cured. The Ring-bearer still works toward his own cure, for his hurts are more deeply engraved upon his fea than ours were on our own.”

“I grieve that he suffers still, away from all his kind but one.”

“Just as you are even more alone.”

“Yes, but even though I am the only Man here, I feel the worse for him. Bilbo will not last much longer I deem, and then Frodo will be alone.”

“No, he will never be. You are here and Mithrandir, Elrond and myself. He retains the hope of seeing his loyal servant and friend again. And he has his memories of the friends and kin he left behind that will remain ever fresh to him and new friends to make. He is not alone. This is my home, just as much as Middle-earth was. I think he will come to understand that as well. It is rare indeed that we see someone outside our own kind that shines with the light that is akin to ours, yet Frodo does. He has also spent much of his life surrounded by his beloved uncle and his tales and even has spent time with Elves before the great Quest began, so Bilbo has told me. With such a rare upbringing, I think Frodo will be in time just as happy here in his second home as he was in his first.”

“I hope it is so.”

“This is the only place Frodo’s fea can heal, in a world not marred by the malice of the Dark Enemy and his most terrible servant. He was harmed by one who came from outside Middle-earth. His cure can only be found outside it. Once his fea heals, his heart will also. Both need more than his Shire could provide to fully grow. Frodo likely knew that long before he became heir to the Ring but did not understand the nature of his longing. Bilbo told me he dreamt often of the Sea. The Quest to destroy it merely quickened into full life all he already felt.”

“His cure will be found then? He won’t always suffer so?”

“My heart is certain he will heal, for he wills it be so, as do the Powers, who have pitied and honored him by receiving him here.”

“Then I will continue to walk with him upon his Road as long as need be.”

“I thank you. He will need a companion. Frodo has received a wonderful and terrible gift for one of his kind: a share in our memory, grief and wonder. It cuts deeply enough to leave scars, both the joy and the sorrow that is life. I have lived with such scars myself for so many long years that I cannot count them. I remember my daughter’s birth and her departure from Middle-earth. I remember her daughter’s birth and her sons’. Frodo has received this blessing from the Powers, so his cherished memories are always before him to comfort him, and so he can learn the meaning behind the evil ones. He will not heal until he can transform his hurts and see the flowers among the thorns. Until he does, he will remain lost in the past rather than moving toward the bright future that awaits him. He needs to make this journey and come at the end to see the face of who he has become: neither the innocent he started as nor the broken being he is now, but one who shines anew from enduring the night and triumphing over it. He himself brought to me the gift of understanding why my daughter suffered: so her daughter could know what to do to bring him here, for she had seen the same wounds I did and knew the only remedy for them. Frodo’s path is much the same as my daughter’s, in its great sorrows and his coming triumph over them. It is only here that she could have completed her journey, just as Frodo came to understand. Your path was meant to end here as well.”

Boromir  looked fully into Galadriel’s eyes and this time he was not afraid. “You give me hope and strength, my Lady. Thank you.”

Galadriel smiled. “I’m glad to have eased your heart.”

Boromir stood and bowed deeply and then left.





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