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Elf Academy Part Deux  by Fiondil

60: ‘And this is my Cousin Larry....’

When the alarm went off at seven Alex groaned as he fumbled to turn it off. Derek cracked open an eye, raising his head to see over the desks and glared at him.

"I hate you," he mumbled, then hid his face in his pillow.

"I hate you, too," Alex retorted as he struggled to extricate himself from the bedclothes. "C’mon. Let’s grab a shower and get the three amigos out of here before anyone sees them."

"I hope they behaved themselves while we were sleeping," Derek said as he climbed out of bed and grabbed his bathrobe, sliding his feet into slippers.

"We’ll find out," was all Alex said.

About fifteen minutes later, shaved and showered and more or less awake, they grabbed their coats and hats and the duffle bag with the Elves’ clothing and went downstairs to the reading room. Opening the door, they didn’t see anyone at first. Alex felt a moment’s panic and then walked around the stacks to the Nook and forced himself not to breathe a sigh of relief. All three ellyn were sitting there. Calandil and Findalaurë had their eyes half opened in sleep while Elennen was perusing a book. He looked up at Alex and Derek.

"We have been taking turns resting," he said quietly, closing the book. Alex read the title — The Grapes of Wrath.

"It’s time to go," Alex said softly. "If you need to use the bathroom, now’s the time to do it. I’m going out to get the car. Derek will stay with you."

Elennen nodded and was gently shaking Findalaurë even as Alex headed for the door, giving Derek last-minute instructions. "Don’t let them dawdle. I want them out of here as quickly as possible."

Derek nodded and Alex left. He brought the car around to the front and was relieved to see Derek and the three ellyn standing in the foyer. They came out and climbed into the car and were off.

"I hope it wasn’t too boring for you sitting around like that," Alex said conversationally.

"We managed," Findalaurë replied rather shortly and Alex gave Derek a significant look and shrugged.

"Well, we’ll be at Edhellond soon," was all he said and concentrated on driving while the three Elves stared out the windows, now able to see the town in daylight. There were two or three early-morning joggers and an elderly couple walking their poodle. They passed one house where three children, perhaps nine or ten years old, were building a snowman and lobbing snowballs at each other while an older teen was shoveling the drive. Then, they were turning onto the street where Edhellond was and driving between the gates. Alex brought the car to a stop. "Everyone out," he said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and even as they were getting out of the car, the front door opened and Amroth was there, smiling at them.

"Come in, come in," he gestured to them. "Don’t bother with the bags, Alex. We’ll deal with them later. We have breakfast ready for you."

The five of them went inside and once Alex and Derek were shed of their coats, they made their way down the hall to the kitchen with the three ellyn gazing about them in wonder.

"Is this a typical dwelling of Mortals?" Calandil asked.

"Not really," Alex answered. "This was built by a wealthy person. Most people live in more modest circumstances."

Then they were in the kitchen, which was very crowded with Elves, though a fair number of them were congregated around the dining room table as well. Glorfindel was at the stove flipping pancakes wearing his ‘Kiss the cook’ apron while Finrod was dishing out a fresh fruit salad into small bowls. The other Wiseman Elves were setting out plates and cutlery or visiting with the Valinórean Elves, while Elladan was showing a very attentive Valandur how to make coffee from the Mr. Coffee machine. All of the Valinórean Elves were dressed in clothes obviously borrowed from the Wiseman Elves. Finrod, for instance, was wearing a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved tee-shirt with the words ‘I’d rather be fishing’ across the front with a screen print of a man sleeping in a boat holding a pole. His feet were bare and his hair was bound in a simple braid down his back. He looked up from his work and smiled at the newcomers.

"Good morrow to you," he said cheerfully.

Alex and Derek greeted him readily enough, but the three ellyn, Findalaurë especially, just stood there, gaping at the scene. Alex wasn’t sure if it was the sight of Finrod dressed as he was that astounded them, or the fact that the Prince was doing something so menial as dishing out fruit.

Glorfindel looked over his left shoulder, giving them a smile. "Breakfast will be ready soon. Alex, there’s maple syrup in the fridge. You want to bring it out and take that pan and fill it with water and then we’ll heat the syrup. Derek, check the homefries, will you, and turn the bacon."

The two Mortals complied with their orders while Findalaurë, Calandil and Elennen were recruited to take the filled fruit cups out to the dining room even as Finrod was retrieving a pitcher of orange juice from the refrigerator and setting it on the dining room table. Everyone was speaking in a mixture of Quenya and Sindarin. Alex watched Finrod interacting with the other Elves, obviously joking about something because they all laughed and then someone, whom Alex remembered being introduced as Mithlas, said something that caused Finrod to blush, and Glorfindel called out something from the kitchen and everyone, including Finrod, roared with laughter. Everyone, that is, except the three amigos. Findalaurë had a pained look on his face and the other two ellyn looked equally distraught. No one paid them any attention.

Finally, as the pancakes were brought out, along with the bacon and homefries, people began serving themselves and out of respect for the Mortals switched to English.

There weren’t enough seats for everyone, so some were sitting in the breakfast nook and others were standing. One of the Elves at the table started to rise to offer Finrod his seat, but the ellon waved the other back, insisting he was fine where he was, standing by the sideboard with Glorfindel.

"So, what’s the game plan?" Alex finally asked.

"Well, thankfully, it’s Saturday," Glorfindel said. "I cancelled my Quenya class for the morning and we don’t have a council meeting, so we’re taking everyone shopping for clothes."

"All at once?" Derek asked. "Won’t that be... um... a bit conspicuous?"

"Not to mention dangerous?" Alex chimed in.

"And how would it be dangerous to purchase clothing for ourselves?" Finrod asked, looking amused.

Alex smirked. "Twenty-four drop-dead gorgeous Elves descend upon the unsuspecting residents of Wiseman and you think people aren’t going to notice? You ellyn will have every female over the age of twelve swooning at your feet and some of the older men are bound to suffer heart attacks at the sight of the ellith."

"He has a point," Barahir said, his expression bland.

Several of the Wiseman Elves snorted in amusement. Glorfindel shrugged. "We’ll take them in small groups. And, in fact, some are going to Fairbanks to shop there. Della needs maternity clothes and she doesn’t like what she’s found here, so she and Amroth will take a few people with them. They’ll stay the night and return sometime tomorrow."

Alex frowned. "Any sign of Farrell while we were camping?" he asked Amroth. "I don’t like the silence. I fed-exed the documents you gave me before we left, so Maddy should have gotten them by now, but when I checked my email this morning, she hadn’t responded. I also contacted one of my coworkers to get the scoop on Farrell and she hasn’t returned my email either."

"It is a concern," Amroth said with a nod. "That’s why when I return from Fairbanks, Della will not be returning with me. Alfa and Misty are going with us and they’ll stay in Fairbanks until we know Farrell and the other agents are out of the picture."

"I’d feel easier in my mind if Della was better covered. Two ellith...."

"Don’t worry," Glorfindel assured him. "I’ve arranged for suitable protection."

Alex nodded, looking more relieved. Amroth spoke again. "I’ve taken the liberty of giving Farrell’s description to Dave Michaelson and Carl Graff. There’s no APB out for him, but Michaelson and Graff will keep an eye out. Farrell was last seen at the Goldmine Inn but he checked out two days ago and no one’s seen him since."

"If we’re lucky, he’s been recalled to Washington," Alex said, "but the fact that I haven’t heard from Maddy makes me think that’s not the case and we haven’t seen the last of the so-and-so, not by a long shot."

"I agree," Amroth said. "We will have to be extra vigilant."

"So, not to change the subject, but I will anyway," Derek said with a grin, "what other arrangements are you making to integrate everyone into Wiseman?"

"Dan, Barry and Conan are going to look for apartments for some of us," Glorfindel said. "I know Amroth and Della will want their own place and Ron and Holly are thinking of doing the same and Roy and Sarah will as well. We’ll keep Finrod and his people here where they will be less noticeable."

"That sounds reasonable," Alex said. "And identity papers?"

"We have that covered," Daeron said. "I have a program that will...."

Alex raised a hand. "I don’t want to hear about it or else I may feel duty-bound to turn you all in as counterfeiters. Plausible deniability is the watchword of the day."

"Fair enough," Daeron said.

"One thing," Glorfindel said. "I got a call from Marian. They are extending classes one week."

"Why?" Derek asked.

"The resorts have decided to postpone their Christmas season openings until the weekend after Thanksgiving because of the storm. It did some major damage and they’re still recovering. So, you can continue with your classes this week and then the exam tours will be scheduled for the week of Thanksgiving and into the next week, with Thanksgiving and Black Friday free."

"That’s not going to sit well with the students," Alex said, "but I suppose we could all use the extra week. I know I fell way behind because of my accident."

"That’s another consideration," Glorfindel said. "Some of the students felt that they were not ready yet for the exam, so this extra week should help. And that leads us to the next thing."

Derek’s eyes narrowed. "Somehow, I don’t like the sound of that."

Glorfindel grinned but he did not reply. Instead, Finrod spoke. "It is a favor to me."

"What sort of favor?" Alex asked warily.

"I would like for you to take my son with you when you attend your classes."

"You’re kidding, right?" Alex demanded.

Finrod shook his head. "Nay. I wish for Finda... I mean, Larry, to learn about the young Mortals with whom he will be interacting. And that’s also true for Cal and Alan, as I believe you’ve named them."

"You want all three of them tagging along?" Derek asked. "How do we even explain them?"

"They are prospective students who are shadowing you to see what Elf Academy is all about," Daeron said in explanation.

"Since when?" Derek asked.

"Since just now," Glorfindel replied. "I know you two would rather face a horde of terrorists with just your bare hands instead but it’s important that these three learn more of the culture of the young people attending the college."

"Why them and not... uh... Helen and Nell and Annie?" Derek asked.

"Oh, am I Nell?" Nielluin asked, her eyes glowing with excitement. When Derek nodded, she clapped her hands with obvious delight. Her cousin Findalaurë glared at her in disgust.

Finrod cast her a fond look. "The ellith will be doing other things, but all of us need to learn what we can of this Mortal society in which we now abide. You already have a rapport with these three..."

"If you want to call it that," Alex said under his breath, sure that every Elf there would hear anyway.

"And that should make it easier," Finrod continued, ignoring Alex’s words.

"So how exactly do we introduce them to everyone?" Derek asked.

"Hi, I’m Larry and this is my brother Darryl and my other brother Darryl," Glorfindel replied, speaking in an odd New England accent, giving them all a wicked grin.

For a second, Derek just stared at him in open disbelief and then started laughing. All the Wiseman Elves joined him while the Valinórean Elves just looked confused. Alex finally succumbed to the humor of it all and chuckled, shaking his head. "You three okay with this?" he asked once people started calming down.

"Why dost thou ask, Mortal?" Findalaurë demanded. "It is plain that thou hast no liking for us and would see us shamed before all."

"Now, if you believe that, then you’re not only dead wrong, you’re being foolish as well," Alex retorted. "I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I’m willing to bend a little if you are. I know your dad is ordering you to do this, but I would much rather have you doing it of your own free will."

There was silence for a space while everyone waited for Findalaurë’s answer. Finally, he nodded. "Yes, I am willing to do this, but there is one thing."

"And what is that?" Finrod asked.

Now the younger ellon actually blushed. "Do I have to be Larry? I do not like the sound of it. I would rather be Lawrence."

"Lawrence it is," Alex said. "So, will you bring them over to the Academy in the morning or what?" he asked Glorfindel.

"I’m going to make arrangements to have them sleep at the Academy," the Elf-lord answered. "We have an extra dorm room on your floor that’s not being used and we can add another cot there if we remove the desks, which they won’t need. We’ll bring them over later today after we’ve done the shopping."

"Fine. I suppose Derek and I should get back to the campus and hit the books. We lost this entire week. Who took over the classes while we were away?"

"The Sindarin and history classes were taught by Alfa and Della while the ellith and Amroth handled the phys. ed. classes," Glorfindel replied. "The Nature Studies and Wilderness Survival courses were taken over by the rangers."

"So is there anything we need to know?" Alex asked.

"For Sindarin, we were working on subjunctive, wishes and obligations," Misty answered. "You can find the information in your textbook and I don’t think we need worry about your wilderness survival skills, do we?"

"Not mine," Alex said.

"Me neither," Derek chimed in.

"Then, I think you’re all set," Glorfindel said. "Why don’t you unload your car of anything belonging to us and then be on your way? We’ll bring them over before dinner and you can introduce them to your friends then."

The two Mortals nodded and once they were done with breakfast they said good-bye. Both Glorfindel and Finrod walked them to their car.

"Thank you," Finrod said to them. "I know what an imposition this is for the both of you."

"Hey, it’s not a problem," Alex assured him. "And it’s only for a week, right? I’m sure we’ll survive. We’ll see you later. Have fun shopping." The two got in the car and drove off.

****

Just as Alex and Derek were thinking about going to dinner, there came a knock on their door. Derek got up from the desk where he’d been studying and opened it to find Glorfindel, Finrod and the three younger ellyn there.

"We’ve already gotten them settled in their own room," Glorfindel said as they entered the room. "So they’re all yours."

"Okay. We were just about to go to dinner," Alex said, getting up.

Finrod said something in Quenya to the three ellyn and they all nodded. He gave each of them a kiss on the forehead and then he and Glorfindel left. "Well, let’s go eat," Alex said and they made their way down the hall to the lounge and the cafeteria where some of the students were already waiting in line to get in.

"Hey! Who’re the new guys?" someone exclaimed and several of the young men congregated around them.

"Ah, yeah, well, this is my... er... Cousin Lawrence and his friends, Cal and Alan," Alex said by way of introduction. "They’re interested in possibly joining Elf Academy next year and so they’re going to follow Derek and me around next week to see how we do things here."

"Is that something new?" Jack Whitman asked. "I don’t think they did anything like that last year."

"Yeah, it’s a... ah... pilot program," Derek replied. "If Lar... I mean, Lawrence, Cal and Alan give a favorable report on it they may institute it on a broader scale next year."

"So where do you-all hail from?" someone asked.

"Valinor," Findalaurë said before Alex or Derek could answer.

"Valinor? Where’s that? I’ve never heard of it."

"Sweden," Derek said.

"Finland," Alex said almost at the same time. He and Derek exchanged glances. "Er... that is, it’s sort of between Finland and Sweden, up there in Lapp country."

"You have family in Finland?" Nathan asked Alex in surprise. "I didn’t realize you were Finnish."

"Er... well, I’m not really, except way back. It’s kinda hard to explain," Alex stammered wishing he could just kill the three ellyn and be done with it.

"You’ve come all the way from Lapland to visit us?" Jack asked in disbelief. "I didn’t think we were international."

"Oh, well, the folks in Lapland heard about Elf Academy and thought it would be a good idea for their tourist industry so Lawrence, Cal and Alan are here to investigate how we do things here and then they’ll go back home and...."

"Those aren’t Scandinavian names, though," one of the other men pointed out, looking suspicious.

"My name is Findalaurë," Finrod’s son said somewhat haughtily, "but Lawrence is acceptable to me."

"Oh, okay," the young man said, clearly uncomfortable. "Ah... looks like the line is moving."

Everyone’s attention was now on entering the cafeteria. Alex, Derek and the ellyn joined them, staying in the back and letting others go ahead of them. Alex glared at the three ellyn. "We had better get our stories straight," he said. "Between Derek and me doing that song-and-dance routine about Lapland and all, people are going to wonder what’s really the deal here. For now, let us do the talking, okay?"

Findalaurë glared at him, but then relented, giving a short nod. "We will abide by thy rules, Alex Grant. I gave my atar my word that I would, we all did, but know that I resent thine attitude."

"That’s fine," Alex said, not backing down, "so long as we understand each other. Now, let’s go eat. I’ll point out what the dishes are and you can choose whatever you wish."

"Assuming that there is anything we would care to eat," Findalaurë shot back, but he and the other two ellyn dutifully joined the line.

Alex looked at Derek and grimaced while Derek just rolled his eyes.





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