Chapter 3

“Beleriand,” Haldir echoed back to the chieftain of the settlement.

“Beleriand?” Haldir asked again after a few moments pause for he obviously had misheard the ellon.

“Beleriand,” Lord Saelon repeated matter-of-factly and the other four elves with him nodded in sage affirmation.

Haldir closed his eyes. Sweet Eru, he screamed in his mind. Why do these folk torment me so? Have they no care for the weariness and injuries of others? Why do they pretend not to know such simple things and yet taunt me with the name of a place long gone, sunken beneath the sea?

Then another possibility occurred to him.

Gently probing his scalp with his fingers, Haldir worriedly asked, “Is this a test of my memory? Did I have a head injury and you are just making certain that I can remember my past?”

“Gilwen and I both examined your head for possible injury and found nothing untoward,” Damrod replied, concern etched deeply in his brow.

Haldir slid his left hand over his face, weariness sapping his strength as he struggled to make sense of what he was hearing.

A hand glided down Haldir’s arm, pulling his hand away from his face. He looked over to see Gilwen gently straightening his injured arm a bit and taking his hand in hers.

“Haldir, I apologize for our upsetting you so,” she said. “I know not what we have said that troubles you so much, but please know that you are safe here, and we will continue to care for you and your brothers and companions. You obviously need more rest. I will fetch you some food and water.”

She gave his hand a slight squeeze, then releasing it, arose and walked away. He followed her with his eyes until Saelon spoke and Haldir was forced to lock gazes with the chieftain once again as courtesy dictated.

“Haldir, our conversations with your brothers and friends went similarly to this discussion with you. They used strange words and shared in your odd difficulties in understanding some of what we said. Considering you all experienced such grave wounds, we are forced to wonder if, and indeed strongly suspect, that you were poisoned by your attackers. You must be a very very strong ellyn to have survived this for most whom we have encountered who received poisoned wounds soon died after great pain and struggle.” Saelon looked at those around him and they nodded in agreement with him.

Laying a compassionate hand on Haldir’s shoulder, Damrod spoke reassuringly, “Friend Haldir, you are welcome to stay in my home until such a time as you are able to rejoin your kin. My family will continue to tend to your needs while you regain your strength. We will take our leave of you now. Please rest. We will speak again.”

“Thank you,” Haldir replied simply, unsure of what else to say.

Damrod gestured to his wife and son and together they rose along with Saelon and walked to the other side of the talan.

“Granddaughter,” Haldir heard Saelon address Gilwen. “Watch over him carefully. The poison obviously has affected his mind. I do not know when he will fully recover his wits – if he ever will. Be patient with him and his questions and tell me all that he says. When the ellyn depart on the hunt again, I will ask them to consult with those of the next settlement. Perhaps they will know how to help these hapless ellyn.”

“Yes, daeradar,” she replied.

Haldir heard the sounds of food preparation and beverages being poured as he lay there alone. He had been poisoned?! He softly swore aloud to himself. Poisoned! If this were so and the others suffered similarly, then…then what fate met his other warriors in the battle? So many were injured… He had seen so many fall…

Dear Eru, what if he and the other five were the only elves who were left? Out of two hundred, what if only six had survived?

He squeezed his eyes shut trying to banish the sting of tears, which still somehow escaped. Covering his face with his hands, he rolled toward the bole of the tree, feeling he somehow deserved the intense physical pain such a simple action brought. Silently he wept for the loss of so many friends and comrades, the gentle patter of the rain no longer bringing him comfort.

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Sometime later, he became aware of someone stroking his hair. Carefully, he rolled over onto his back and then onto his uninjured side with the help of Gilwen’s strong hands. Tenderly, she wiped his face with a cool damp cloth. He vaguely registered the presence of her adar nearby watching him intently, but he could not find it within himself to care. Unable to find his voice amidst the tears still falling unabashedly, he accepted the drink she offered him and ate some broth and bread with her assistance.

After the meal, Gilwen and her adar bathed Haldir and helped him see to his needs, then laid him back down again on the furs to rest. Softly speaking his gratitude, Haldir closed his eyes, but his helpers did not leave him.

With a long-suffering sigh, he opened his eyes and met their concerned ones.

“Haldir,” Damrod asked quietly, “for whom or what do you mourn, my friend?”

“For the ellyn under my command who did not return with me,” he replied dejectedly as his tears resumed. Briefly he tried to roll away, but he lacked the strength to manage the pain of so much movement, so he returned to the comfort of lying on his right side.

“It is best to go ahead and face it,” Damrod advised, his voice full of compassion. “Was there aught you could have done for any of those who are no longer with you?”

“I could have done no more for them than I did,” Haldir whispered. “I taught them all that I knew, trained them for many ennin in fact. I would have trusted any one of them with my life. We were so vastly out-numbered and there just…I just…I tried…I fought and I tried…But there was naught I could do. The enemy just kept coming and coming. They breached our defenses. So many of my warriors fell... I saw so many of them fall…And the enemy just kept coming…” Haldir’s voice broke and he wept anew.

Damrod gently gripped Haldir’s shoulder, mindful of his injuries. “I admire you, Captain Haldir, for the obvious love you bear for those whose lives were trusted in your care. I have spoken with the other survivors often during their wakeful times – they have had many more of those than you have so far – and they all told of their respect and admiration for you their captain. I will ask my adar and chieftain to command the songs of mourning for your folk, for are we not all Galadhrim? Does that not make those who were lost our folk as well? You and your comrades are in no condition to sing the songs just now. We will see that those you lost are honored and mourned properly for their great deeds.”

Haldir looked on Damrod, new respect for the frustrating ellon welling in his heart. Struggling as best he could, the captain painfully contorted himself enough to give a proper salute in deepest gratitude. Damrod stared at him bemused then copied the movements as if he had never seen them before, returning a much more fluid and graceful salute to the wounded Haldir.

“Thank you,” Haldir choked.

Damrod nodded, giving a small smile in response, then arose and departed the talan.

A short time later, with the night dark sky still weeping in accompaniment, many voices rose up in song. Age-old laments echoed and dripped from all around. Lilting along with the rest of the Galadhrim of Celos Galen, Gilwen laid down beside Haldir and held him as he mourned voicelessly. He wept, shuddering and trembling many times in her arms before finding his solace and sleep, his head resting on her breast.

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Ennin – Sindarin for yéni,  a period of 144 years.