86: Discussions on Coping with the Mortal World

Legolas returned to Edhellond after his shift feeling very pleased with himself. The prowler they had nabbed turned out to be responsible for a spate of burglaries that had plagued Wiseman since the New Year. Legolas and Lopez had been the heroes of the day when they brought the Man in. The rest of their shift was less exciting but no less satisfying and Legolas was looking forward to his next shift, which would be Thursday night. Michaelson had informed him that on Tuesdays and Wednesdays he would report for training.

“I’ve ordered the textbooks used at the police academy,” the captain told him before he went off duty. “I’ve assigned a couple of people to tutor you on what you need to know. You’ll be tested periodically. Anything less than a hundred percent right on these tests and you’re out.”

Legolas had nodded his understanding and Michaelson continued. “Fridays, you will be spending at the firing range and learning self-defense moves. It is my understanding that you Elves never developed unarmed defense techniques on the same scale as we have.”

“That is true,” Legolas said, “though every warrior learns a few tricks in case he loses his weapons during a battle.”

Michaelson nodded. “Well, we’ll show you a few more. And that’s the line-up for the next six months. Think you can handle it?”

Legolas nodded. “Yes. Do I report at the same time tomorrow?”

“No. When you’re not riding you come in with the second shift, which means three o’clock, but you won’t be here for the entire shift, just for a couple of hours.”

“Thank you,” Legolas said with all sincerity and then bid the captain good day. Lopez, on his way out, offered to drop him off at home, which offer Legolas accepted.

Now he was back home and was looking forward to telling everyone about his day before spending some time in the woods. As he came inside, he was greeted by Aldarion who was coming down the stairs.

“How did it go?” he asked Legolas.

“It went very well,” Legolas replied. “I believe I will enjoy being a police officer very much.”

“Still wish you would consider joining the Rangers with us, though,” Aldarion said with a sigh.

“I am sorry,” Legolas said with honest regret. “I thought about it, and perhaps had I not witnessed the police in action searching for clues about Glorfindel’s attackers, I might have agreed to join the Rangers with you and I would have been content. But now…” He shrugged, not sure what else he could say.

Aldarion nodded. “Well, I am glad that you find the job satisfying and when I stop feeling sorry for myself I realize that having one of us on the police force can only be a good thing.”

“Perhaps you should consider joining,” Legolas said with a grin.

Aldarion grinned back, shaking his head. “No. I think I will stick to my original plan and join the Rangers. The trees call to me and I would fain walk beneath them and listen to their songs.”

“Then that is what you should do,” Legolas said, clapping the other on a shoulder. “Are you sure you do not have Silvan blood in you, my friend? I have never known the Vanyar to be as enamored of the forests as the Tawarwaith, but to hear you speak, one would think you were of their blood instead of one of the Miniellath.”

Aldarion cast him a supercilious look. “Well if there is Silvan blood in our family, no one speaks of it. It just isn’t done.”

Legolas laughed. “You are heading for the woods?”

“Yes, but only for an hour or so. Do not forget that we have our anger management class tonight.”

“I have not forgotten,” Legolas assured him. “Come, let me change and while I do I will tell you of my day.”

Aldarion nodded and together they climbed the stairs while Legolas told Aldarion about his first arrest.

****

“Remember we are scheduled to meet with Vorondur tonight,” Finrod said to Glorfindel as they stood in the foyer doffing their outerwear when the two happened to return to Edhellond from their respective jobs at the same time.

“Yes, I remember,” Glorfindel said with a sigh.

“I know you resent having to attend, my brother, but I, for one, am grateful for these classes.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because they give me a chance, not only to express my own feelings, but to hear those of others. It is satisfying in a way to know that I am not alone in feeling as I do.”

“Well, I have to admit I feel calmer after one of these meetings,” Glorfindel said, “but I’ll be glad when we’re done with them. For me, it’s just one more thing piled up on everything else I have to do to keep us running.”

“Why do you think you have to do it alone, though?” Finrod asked. By now they had ended up in the library where Glorfindel was checking the fire. Someone had banked it earlier, meaning that the house had emptied out so there had been no one to keep an eye on it. He threw on a couple of logs and stoked the coals from the earlier fire to get a flame going. Satisfied, he put the poker back in its place as he stood up and replaced the firescreen.

“Because, up to now, I have. When it was just us Wiseman Elves, I made most of the decisions with Daeron as my second if I was not available. Then you all showed up and for some time you were all pretty much lost at sea, so to speak, and I pretty much had to lead you by the hand until you got your bearings. Now it’s like a habit or something and I can’t seem to stop. It’s becoming more and more difficult for me to let go, let someone else, anyone else, take over. And that’s especially true since my mugging. I just can’t believe how quickly everything fell apart here while I was in hospital.”

Finrod sighed, looking troubled. “It disturbs me as well and I was not able to keep it from falling apart. I must be losing my touch.”

“Nonsense. No one under those circumstances would have been able to keep things together. Everything just spiraled out of control before anyone realized what was happening. Or, at least, that is my impression, since I wasn’t actually here at the time. Don’t beat yourself up, Finrod. If it had been you lying in ICU, I doubt I would have done much better.”

“Perhaps. At any rate, I am hoping that these classes are helping everyone who attends, including you.”

“I wonder what Ron will have us talk about tonight?” Glorfindel asked. “He usually has some topic or theme in mind.”

“We’ll have to wait and see,” was Finrod’s philosophical reply and Glorfindel nodded in agreement and they spent a little time sharing the events of their day and discussing small matters until someone called them for dinner.

****

Vorondur was meeting with Glorfindel and Finrod’s anger management class in the reading room at Elf Academy. With them were Elladan, Brethorn, Helyanwë, Lindorillë, Erestor and Vardamir. It was no coincidence that most of the Reborn were in this group. Edrahil had been placed in Sunny’s group, while Beleg was in Max’s. Vorondur would have liked to have had all five Reborn in his class, but decided to let Sunny and Max have the dubious pleasure of dealing with one in their respective group. He had warned the two Mortals about it when they had been divvying up the Elves for the classes.

“My understanding is that the Reborn operate on a slightly different wavelength from the rest of us by virtue of having died and residing in Mandos for a time, usually several centuries if not millennia, before being re-embodied,” he had told the two Mortals. “That is why I’ve also assigned each of you two of the healers who have had experience in dealing with Reborn to your groups. They will be able to handle whatever situation arises, if it ever does.”

“What kind of situations?” Max asked.

“The kind where you definitely need two healers to intervene,” Vorondur replied with a thin smile. “I would not be overly concerned. All of the Reborn have been… er… out, as they put it, for ages and ages, but, as Finrod likes to say, ‘once a Reborn, always a Reborn’ and it’s apparently better to play it safe. Or, at least, that is what both Finrod and Glorfindel told me when they suggested that I make sure you each had two healers in your groups.”

Vorondur looked around the room as the other Elves were settling in. As predicted, most of the Wiseman Elves, after a couple of sessions, had opted out of these anger management classes with a few exceptions, notably the Twins and Serindë, the three deciding they wanted to sit in on the discussions, at least for the time being. The Three Amigos and Nell had also ceased attending with Finrod’s permission, for everyone could see that they were better integrated than their elders.

“Also, all three of them have to undergo individual and group counseling as part of their courses, Nell especially because of her particular program,” Vorondur pointed out. “I will be monitoring those carefully.”

So, Vorondur’s original four classes had been reduced to one, while Max and Sunny kept their own class. As the Wiseman Elves had dropped out, there had been a bit of reshuffling to even up the three groups. Now each had eight people.

“Okay, let’s get started,” Vorondur said. Conversations ceased and everyone gave him their attention. “I thought we could spend a little time discussing Liam’s joining the Wiseman police force and how everyone feels about that. Anyone want to start?”

For a moment no one spoke, then Haldir said, “I wish he had consulted us first before making the decision. We might have been able to talk him out of it.”

“And why do you feel you needed to do so?” Vorondur asked.

Haldir shrugged. “It was all set. We would join the Rangers and Prince Legolas would lead us as he led his people before.”

“Yet, apparently, he did not agree to this plan of yours,” Finrod offered. “You made these plans on the assumption that he would go along and I think he would have if something else had not captured his attention first. I take it from what has been said that Legolas never actually participated in your discussions with the Rangers?”

Haldir shook his head. “No, not really, but I guess we all just assumed…” He scowled. “I must be getting soft in the head or something.”

“Why do you say that?” Vorondur asked, giving him a slight smile.

“Because one of the first lessons I ever learned as a Marchwarden was, never assume anything about anything or anyone. That particular lesson was one Lord Celeborn was at pains to teach us. But you are correct, Lord Finrod. We did assume that Prince Legolas would simply join us because he said nothing to the contrary and never entered into our discussions except in vague ways that, now that I think about it, should have alerted me. When we asked his opinions about things his answers were always noncommittal.” He scowled again.

“Assumptions are easy to make about people we’ve known for a long time,” Vorondur said carefully. “We think we know the other person so well that we can predict their movements and their thought-processes. Unfortunately, we are far more complex than that, and none of us can truly know what others think or feel about any given situation. Liam would have been more than willing to join the Rangers had there been no other options given him and I think he would have done well, but apparently watching the police in action searching for clues as to who mugged Loren excited and intrigued him and he found his calling.”

“And now it is up to the rest of you to find yours,” Finrod said.

“Easier said than done,” Brethorn rejoined. “Not all of us wish to become Rangers or police officers or even teachers of Mortals.”

“Well, get used to the idea, Brian,” Glorfindel said with a tight smile. “Unless you plan to go into business, there is little else that you can do here. Once we get this SCA thing up and going, I’m going to need all of your help with, not only training, but with weapons-making. Finrod can make horseshoes, but we need people who can fashion swords.”

“Well, I can certainly make swords and knives as well,” Finrod said with a huff that was only half-meant. “I did progress to sword making or have you forgotten?”

“No, I haven’t forgotten, but you’re busy at the bookstore,” Glorfindel pointed out. “I’m more concerned about those who have yet to find something with which to occupy themselves.”

“And that is certainly something that needs to be discussed, but not here,” Vorondur said mildly. “Let us concentrate on the purpose for this class. Other than Hal, do any of you feel upset by Liam’s unilateral decision to join the local police force?”

“And there’s the rub,” Erestor said. “He made a unilateral decision.”

“Let me ask all of you this: if Liam had come to us and said, ‘I wish to apply to the police force and become a police officer’, how supportive would you have been?”

“Well, I was certainly supportive,” Elladan replied with a grin. “I lent him one of my suits, helped him with the tie, and gave him my London Fog so he would give a good first impression and drove him to the station.”

“And you told no one, not even Roy,” Glorfindel commented.

Elladan shrugged. “He asked me to keep it quiet in case he failed in obtaining the position, and that almost happened. He was very nervous about it, I can tell you that much, and I think he told no one else simply because he feared ridicule if his mission failed, or I suspect that is how he saw it: a mission to seek employment as a police officer.”

“Yet, he told you,” Brethorn pointed out in a reasonable tone.

“Only because he realized that he had nothing appropriate to wear to the station and came to me for help. He originally did not explain why he needed a suit and I didn’t ask because it wasn’t my business. I knew he would not have asked if it hadn’t been important to him. When I simply handed him the suit without question then he told me his purpose and I applauded his initiative and wished him all the luck. What else was I going to do? Try to convince him that it was hopeless, that no one in his right mind, not especially Dave Michaelson, would hire him out of the blue? But I didn’t because I could see that he had already considered this but was determined to give it a go anyway. I think if he hadn’t, it would always hang over him and he would always wonder. He was being as courageous as Finrod was in going after the bookstore position and for the same reason.”

“You’re right,” Vorondur said. “Liam was very brave. Well, if no one has anything more to say about it, why don’t we move on and discuss our reactions to Loren’s mugging and its aftermath. I was, to be quite frank, appalled at how we as a group fell apart. I am sure the Mortals who witnessed it were not too pleased by it, although I suspect the naysayers, like Tom Peterson, were happy enough.”

“Well, I was blissfully ignorant of it all, of course,” Glorfindel said with a certain air of smugness, “but I think I made my position clear the other day when I called everyone in for a little chat of my own.”

“Yes, I heard about that,” Vorondur said, “and I am glad that you set the record straight about a good number of things, but I still sense ambivalence in some people.” He was careful not to look at anyone in particular, keeping his focus on Glorfindel.

“I do not think it is ambivalence so much as it is embarrassment that we allowed ourselves to descend to the level that we did,” Finrod opined. “Glorfindel and I were discussing it earlier. He feels as if he has to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders because he always has. I would like to help relieve him of that weight, but only if he lets me.”

“And I appreciate the offer,” Glorfindel responded. “Frankly, I’m getting tired of refereeing everybody and everything. It’s time for others to pick up the ball and run with it.”

“That you are acknowledging this need is a good thing, Loren,” Vorondur said. “I think if you are willing to let others share the load with you that you will find that much of your own anger disappearing.”

“I hope so,” Glorfindel said, “because I don’t like how I’m feeling at the moment. I am losing control and that is bad enough for anyone but for a Reborn that is doubly dangerous for all concerned.”

“Especially when you are without your ring,” Finrod said. “I do not think any of us will breathe easy around you, Brother, until your ring is returned.”

“Including me,” Glorfindel retorted grimly. “Every time I start feeling angry or panicky, I dread the thought of slipping my leash as Lord Námo so loves to call it.”

“Have you been doing the deep breathing exercises I showed you?” Vorondur asked. “Have they helped?”

“To some extent and thanks. Doing the deep breathing does help, but I really want my ring back. For some reason I feel… less without it, as if I’m only half here, and that, frankly, scares me spitless. I do not want to find myself fading.”

“I doubt that will happen, Brother,” Finrod said with great feeling. “For one thing, you are too strong to allow yourself that easy an indulgence, and for another, I won’t let you.”

Glorfindel grinned. “Thanks. I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

Finrod gave him a raspberry while everyone else laughed. When they had calmed down, Vorondur said, “Well, until you get your ring back, Loren, why don’t we think of ways we can help you. Anyone have any suggestions?”

They spent the rest of the hour coming up with ideas for helping Glorfindel feel less overwhelmed and when the session ended Glorfindel thanked them all and the others expressed satisfaction in what they had accomplished.

****

Sunny’s group met at the counseling office where there was a small room set up for private counseling. Besides Elrohir and Serindë, who had decided to continue with the sessions as part of their marriage preparation, the group consisted of Gilvagor, Legolas of Gondolin, Vardamir, Manwen, Thandir and Edrahil. The discussion that night, as with Vorondur’s group, centered around Prince Legolas’ joining the police force and how everyone felt about it.

Gilvagor expressed sadness at the turn of events. “Not sure why,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve known Prince Legolas for a long time, or at least, I thought I did. I think I just assumed because he had grown up in Eryn Lasgalen and then founded his own realm in Ithilien and even in Valinor he followed Thranduil to the southern reaches to build a new life in the wilds that he would naturally want to join in with being a ranger like Thandir and I are planning to do. Now he’s off doing something else and who will lead us?”

“Is that how you see Prince Legolas, as your leader?” Sunny asked. “I thought Finrod was or Glorfindel.”

“They are our leaders as a group,” Thandir replied before Gilvagor could answer, “but some of us saw Legolas as being our captain when we joined with the Rangers.”

“Ah, I see,” Sunny said with a nod. “So you were already in your own minds forming a separate group of rangers consisting only of you Elves with Legolas leading you the way Paul Pettingill is the chief ranger to whom all the others answer. Do I have that correct?”

“I suppose,” Thandir allowed, frowning slightly as if he’d never thought of it in quite that light. Gilvagor, Edrahil and Legolas of Gondolin all nodded.

“So my question is: what’s wrong with Paul being your leader? Because, technically speaking, if you join the Rangers, he will be your captain.”

“But he’s a Mortal,” Legolas of Gondolin protested.

“And so was Tuor,” Sunny pointed out, smiling triumphantly, “but it is my understanding that he led his own House in Gondolin, the House of the Wing. Are you denying that Elves are incapable of following a Mortal? You said you belonged to the House of the Tree and Galdor led it. Did he not have dealings with Tuor? Who was lord of the House of the Wing before him? Did he step down voluntarily or was he pushed aside when Tuor married Idril and Turgon had to put him somewhere?”

There was a stunned silence as they all contemplated her words. Finally Legolas of Gondolin groaned, putting his head in his hands. “I am such a fool,” he muttered.

Edrahil, sitting next to him, wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him a hug. Sunny, to her credit, only shrugged. “Join the club, my friend. Been there and done that too many times myself. The important thing here is to see where your assumptions lead you and how they don’t always lead you to where you wish to go. Prince Legolas has obviously felt a need to do something other than what you all planned for him and that is his right to do so, as it is yours. None of you are obligated to do anything just because you might have done it in the past or others expect you to do it. If you want to be Rangers, more power to you, but understand that you can’t go off willy-nilly on your own and expect Paul or anyone else to give you their blessing. It doesn’t work that way. Never has, never will.”

“A long time ago, we Elves lived in our own enclaves apart from Mortals,” Elrohir said in the ensuing silence, “and it was easy enough to do. Even in Imladris we did not see many of the other races, though my father welcomed any who found their way to us. But times and circumstances have changed and this world belongs to the Mortals. We have to play by their rules. That is something we who remained behind had to learn or we didn’t survive. You need to learn it too or you won’t make it here. None of you will. I know it’s hard. We’re the Firstborn, but that doesn’t mean we have all the answers. When Dan and I decided to get our medical degrees we actually had to pretend that we didn’t know anything about healing. It was hard, really. You have no idea how hard it was for us, but we played the game and somewhere along the way we ceased to consider ourselves superior to our fellow students and professors and thought of ourselves as their colleagues and fellow healers, each learning from the other. I hope that those of you who do decide to join the Rangers will come to that same level of acceptance. And that is true for all of you, whatever you choose to do.”

“Very well said, Roy,” Sunny said. “I’m sure you and the others who stayed behind can be a great help to those from Valinor, giving them your hard-earned wisdom on how to live in this world.”

“I’m more than happy to share my experiences, and I know Sarah is too,” Elrohir said and Serindë nodded.

“All they have to do is ask,” she said, smiling sweetly.

****

Max’s group was actually meeting at Edhellond, using the conference room. It was the first time Max had ever been there and Daeron had offered him a quick tour before the meeting began. Now here he was, sitting at the conference table with Valandur on his left and Eärnur on his right. Beleg, Aldarion, and Prince Legolas sat on the same side as Valandur, while Laurendil, Melyanna and Mithlas were sitting with Eärnur. Sitting on the opposite side from Max was Daeron, who had stopped attending the classes along with most of the Wiseman Elves, but tonight, he was there.

“Ron asked if I would sit in on the session tonight,” he had explained to Max as he was giving the Mortal a tour of the mansion. “He wants a Wiseman Elf in each session tonight. Roy and Sarah are already in Sunny’s group. Your group is the only one with just Valinórean Elves in it.”

“Yes, I noticed that,” Max had drawled. “How did I get so lucky?”

Daeron had only smiled.

So now, it was time to ask the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question. Max cleared his throat and all eyes gazed his way. “Yes, well, first of all, Liam, congratulations. I hear you had a successful first day on the force.”

“Thank you,” Legolas said politely, “I did.”

“Probably too successful, though,” Max said and Legolas wasn’t the only one to give the Mortal a puzzled look.

“How can one be too successful at anything?” Melyanna asked.

Max chuckled. “My dear, success can often breed resentment from others. Resentment and envy and even hatred. If Liam continues to be successful in his job to the same degree as he has done he may find his fellow officers resenting him. Also, Liam may begin to expect every shift to be as exciting as today’s must have been.”

Legolas shook his head, giving them a smile. “You forget, Max, I spent millennia guarding the forests of my father’s realm against the evil out of Dol Guldur. Patrols, by their very nature, were nine-tenths boredom followed by one-tenth of sheer terror as we battled spiders and orcs. As my partner, Officer Lopez said, he prefers his shifts to be quiet and boring and I agree.”

“Well, then, let’s discuss how your fellow police officers may feel about it,” Max suggested.

Now Legolas frowned. “I would think they would be glad that I was able to help Officer Lopez prevent a criminal from continuing to commit crimes.”

“And is that how you see yourself, as having helped Officer Lopez nab a criminal when it was you who chased him down?”

“Should I not have?” Legolas gave him a confused look.

“Oh, no. You definitely did the right thing,” Max assured him. “What I’m interested in is the image you project, both the image you have of yourself and the one others see.”

“Are they not the same?” Melyanna asked.

“No, Anna, they are not,” Daeron answered before Max could reply. “How we perceive ourselves does not always match up with the actual image we project to others. Liam feels that his role this morning was as an auxiliary, as helping Officer Lopez to do his job well, but others, especially other police officers, may see it as him hogging all the glory. That perceived attitude can prove dangerous for Liam in his relationship with his fellow police officers.”

“It was Officer Lopez who told me to go after the Man,” Legolas explained. “I merely obeyed the orders of a superior, nothing more.”

“And that’s fine,” Max said, “but you must be aware that some people, not all, and not even the most important, may take a different view of the situation. So, tread carefully. You do not wish to step on other people’s toes over this. And I am merely warning you that you should not expect future shifts to be quite like this morning’s. Firemen are trained to fight fires, but most of them would happily go from one year to the next without ever having to deal with one. Same with the police. Unfortunately, in this imperfect world, that is not going to happen.”

Legolas nodded. “I will keep that in mind. Thank you.”

“And no more swinging on lampposts,” Daeron said, shaking a finger at Legolas in mock anger while everyone else, including Legolas, laughed.

When they had calmed down, Max asked how others were doing in their adjustments to living among Mortals and they spent the rest of the session discussing an encounter Mithlas had had with a group of young children earlier in the week where they had bombarded him with the most embarrassing (to Mithlas) questions and his reaction to them. Legolas listened with amusement, secretly glad that the whole time had not been spent in analyzing him.

****

Words are Sindarin:

Tawarwaith: Forest people, i.e. Silvan Elves.

Miniellath: (collective plural) First Elves, i.e. Elves belonging to the tribe of the Vanyar.