Chapter Twenty: Accepting the Loss

The sun shone down brightly on the small party traveling north. Birds darted above, their chirps mingling with the sounds of horses' hooves. The horses pranced excitedly, as if they knew they were headed home. None spoke, however, despite the lovely day granted them for their journey back to Eryn Lasgalen.

Anoriel studied her father as she rode beside him. He was not the same as he had been on their journey to Gondor. He had changed, so much for the better. But her joy at seeing the return of the father she had known as a child was diminished by the fact her little brother had lost his way and his heart to the sea. Anoriel had hoped and prayed that her brother would be restored to them, but it was not to be on these shores. She had not wept much, for she knew they would see Legolas again, and soon, as time passes for the elves. Already some of their people grew restless.

But Anoriel knew her brother would never be the same. Once Legolas's memories were restored, his pain would be great for having sailed before his vow released him from those mortal friends who held his heart. None could blame him for taking this course, but he would blame himself. She sighed, knowing there would be little comfort for him in Valinor. The peace he sought would be short lived. How she wished someone could have convinced him of that!

After a difficult goodbye to Legolas, Anoriel and her father had gathered their guards and bid farewell to Asgarnen, the land Legolas had loved and worked so hard to restore. Anoriel was surprised when Thranduil insisted on stopping in Emyn Arnen before returning home. The King had wished to speak with Lady Eowyn and Prince Faramir before turning north. She could not understand why such a visit was necessary. Legolas was having Aragorn send a letter to the Prince of Ithilien, explaining his departure. Yet, it seemed Thranduil felt it his responsibility to inform the Steward and his wife in person. It had been a touching visit. Anoriel would never forget the sight of the Lady Eowyn, tears brimming in her eyes, placing a kiss on her father's cheek, and the look of thankfulness in both her and Faramir's eyes for being told personally. They would grieve this loss for a long time.

"We need to pick up the pace," Thranduil said, nearly causing Anoriel to jump with the suddenness of his words. He had not spoken since leaving Emyn Arnen. Anoriel urged her horse faster after taking a last glance over her shoulder at the Land of the Moon behind them. And since he had not — could not — she bid the land farewell for her brother.

- o -

On a different path, Legolas and the two guards his father had insisted he take with him also rode silently north, but to the west, towards the Havens. It seemed his guards were either naturally very quiet, or Thranduil had ordered them to leave him be. Whatever the reason, Legolas was grateful. He wished to be alone with his thoughts if he could not be alone entirely.

They set out on a most direct route, and Legolas made sure they would avoid both Helm's Deep and thus, Aglarond, as well as Edoras, riding north of both before turning more westward. They would cross the river Isen near what had once been Isengard, and continue northwest traveling just south of the Shire. The Grey Havens were not much farther west and Legolas found himself wishing he were already there.

Before they ever entered Rohan, Legolas's thoughts inevitably turned to his last day in Gondor. It was not easy to think about it, but he supposed it was necessary to put it behind him. He did not understand what had happened in that library, only that when the dwarf released him to go, the pain had been almost unbearable. Legolas had stood there looking after Gimli for a long time; shock and confusion, as well as an almost physical pain, holding him to the spot. He convinced himself it was the pain of the sea longing growing stronger now that he was truly free to leave. Estel's entrance back into the room had snapped Legolas out of his frozen state, and he had been able to put the encounter with the dwarf aside.

He spent that night with Estel and Arwen. They tried to hide their feelings, but Legolas could sense their pain. Neither attempted to sway his decision and he truly appreciated their love and respect for him in this matter. The next morning had presented a very difficult goodbye. Tears streamed down the Evenstar's face and she hugged him tightly before kissing him lightly on his cheek. Estel had tears as well, though he held them back until the two embraced. Estel clung to him for a long moment, as if he could hold Legolas to these shores, before shifting to the more familiar warrior's grasp.

"I will miss you, Legolas. Take care of yourself on your journey. May you find peace in your crossing." A tear slipped down the man's face as he added in the language of the elves, "Forever you are my friend and my brother..."

Once again, that piercing pain shot through Legolas' heart, and he knew he needed to leave quickly. "May the sun shine upon your path and your ways always be green and golden." He gave Estel's shoulder one last squeeze and lowered his hand to his heart and bowed his head. Looking up again, he swept his hand outwards to them in the traditional elven leave-taking. "Farewell, my friends."

Now, he was entering Rohan and he and his guards had many days of hard travel before them. Legolas kept to himself, speaking only when necessary. He rode, ate, and tended his horse, and always his eyes turned west...to the sea.

- o -

The moon shone brightly down on the Queen's garden. On the dark path, Arwen walked silently, slowly as she moved to sit on a low bench. Her tears had dried days ago, but the ache in her heart would take longer to heal. How she missed the laughing, mischievous elven prince whom everyone loved. Arwen missed him almost as much as she missed her husband.

Aragorn would need much time to accept the loss of Legolas. It had hurt him deeper than either of them could have imagined. Aragorn had met the prince of Mirkwood when he was only four years old. Their friendship had blossomed over several visits, with Legolas adding to the boy's training on the occasions he brought messages for his father. Arwen had not been in Imladris for the beginnings of that friendship, but she had seen the results years later. Never had she seen two closer that were not related. At least, not until Legolas had met Gimli.

Arwen's heart cried out at that thought and her tears began anew. Not for herself or her husband, but for the unusual dwarf who had charmed her grandmother and befriended the son of the Elvenking. The one who refused to let anyone other than that elf see his heart so clearly. They had been closer than brothers…and now Legolas was gone.

Arwen wiped her eyes with the handkerchief in her hand. Aragorn had sent a rider to Rohan to take the letter Gimli had never seen. They knew in time he would wish to read it, though right now it was still so very painful. Aragorn had ridden personally to deliver the letter from Legolas to Faramir and Eowyn.

When he had returned to Minas Tirith he told her Thranduil had stopped in Emyn Arnen before returning to Eryn Lasgalen. The Elvenking had felt it his place to let them know of Legolas's decision. Thranduil had also thanked Eowyn for the lecture she had given him and helping him to see how best to help his son. When Arwen inquired about this, Aragorn shared the scene he had unwittingly walked into that day not so long ago. Remembering, she smiled. She would have given a lot to have seen that sight! She wondered if King Thranduil's face had looked anything like Legolas's when he had received a well deserved lecture from Eowyn in front of Eomer.

Eomer. Arwen's heart clinched again. They had received a letter from him for Legolas, but only after the elf had left. They would have to return it to the king of Rohan, as well as inform him of Legolas's departure, unless Gimli had told him, but Arwen did not think he would be thinking of such things any time soon.

The moon had started to slowly make its way towards the horizon when the Queen of Gondor finally left the garden and made her way back into her husband's arms where they could comfort each other. Slowly, they would heal…at least she prayed it was so.

- o -

In Rohan, the dwarves of the Glittering Caves were filled with joy upon Gimli's return, until they realized their friend and lord was not himself. He was greatly troubled and Din was encouraged to draw him out. They could not help the Lord of Aglarond until they knew what troubled him. Many assumed it must be that elven prince who had been injured, but they had received word that he was recovering.

After a grand meal, like only the dwarves can make, Din realized his friend had slipped out of the hall. He found Gimli standing outside the caverns under the tree that stood there...the tree that Legolas frequently slept in or sat in while he sang. Gimli was looking up between the branches at the stars.

Din walked over to his lord and tilted his head back to observe the twinkling dots of light. This was something that only the dwarves of Aglarond did, and never in front of their distant kin. Appreciating beauty is something dwarves do well, but star gazing was unknown to them, until one of their own had befriended one of the firstborn. Din said nothing, simply stood beside his friend, knowing Gimli would speak if and when he felt it was time.

After a long while, Gimli spoke slowly without taking his eyes from the stars. "He decided to sail, Din. He does not remember, and he suffers greatly. I had to let him go." The sadness in Gimli's voice took Din by surprise for he had not expected this news. His heart went out to his friend, the dwarf Legolas had named elvellon. Truly, Gimli would suffer greatly at this loss. But perhaps...

"Surely he will change his mind, Gimli. He won't go through with it. I'm sure if you went after him and asked him to stay..." Din's voice was cut off.

"No, I asked him in Minas Tirith. I saw it in his eyes, and I know it in my heart. He needs to go." Gimli lowered his gaze to meet his friend's eyes. "I gave him my blessing. I cannot go after him, though I thought of it many times on the way home. I have already said goodbye. It is time to let him go. I will cherish the time we had, for it was truly a gift. I have the memories to sustain me. I asked him to remember me in Valinor, and I will remember him here." Gimli spoke softly, his voice gruff and full of pain. He turned his eyes back to the stars.

"Truly, Legolas will be missed around here. Somehow it will not be the same without his visits." Din smiled as memories of the strange being filled his mind. "I will never forget him stumbling around in the dark, getting lost in the caves. We will all miss him."

A small smile formed on Gimli's lips as he also pictured Legolas's time in Aglarond. "Indeed, it will not be the same." He looked at the tree beside him. "I keep looking up thinking he will be there. I find myself listening for his voice raised in song. It is hard to accept that he will never sit there again."

Din saw his friend try to swallow the pain that surely came close to choking him, and a plan began to form in his mind. If Gimli could be somewhere else, where there were not so many memories of Legolas, it would be easier for him to start to heal.

"Gimli, things are going well here. It would be a good time for you to take a trip to theLonelyMountainand see Glóin. Fanin mentioned when he was here that your father asked when you would visit again. He is getting older, my friend. Now is a good time to go." Din stopped knowing he should not push the issue. Gimli would decide for himself.

The Lord of Aglarond continued to stare at the stars, a hand in his pocket, which Din knew held the hairs the lady Galadriel had given him years ago enclosed in crystal. Gimli began to nod his head, and turned to Din.

"I agree. Moroch will be glad of another journey. He was cooped up too long in Minas Tirith. I will leave you to tell the others this sad news. I believe I will leave at sun up."

Gazing a few more minutes at the stars, Gimli then took one last look at the tree next to him. He raised his hand to the bark for a moment, then turned and disappeared in the caves.

To be Continued…