A/N:  This chapter has reached the part of the timeline where “Lost and Found” occurs, and contains a small excerpt from that story that some of you may recognise.

Chapter 32.  Choices

After a night of restless sleep caused by the harsh crying of gulls as they wheeled overhead in his dreams, the pale light of dawn found a solitary figure at the haven, seated in one of the boats, throwing leaves into the water of the stream and watching with unseeing eyes as they floated on their way to the Anduin. Legolas envied the small pieces of his forest their journey, and smiled sadly at the whimsical notion that at least one ‘greenleaf’ would find the sea.

“It is a fine morning, is it not?” asked a human voice, startling the Elf from his musings. Legolas was thankful no danger lurked nearby and he silently berated himself for his lack of awareness, even as he turned and smiled a greeting to the ranger who began sorting the wooden planks that were to be part of the small wharf that was yet to be built.

“Ai, but it is too early to begin work, and your companions still sleep,” he observed.

“That is because, unlike me, they enjoyed far too much of your fine food and wine last night,” he replied with a merry chuckle.

 “The rangers of the north often enjoyed the hospitality of Imladris in such a manner, it is only fitting that the rangers of the south and Lord Elrond’s sons do likewise in Ithilien,” Legolas told him with amusement as he recalled several such occasions, usually the result of a challenge by Elladan and Elrohir or the rangers themselves to determine which race was able to drink the most. His early morning companion burst into laughter and promptly dropped the large log he trying to move. Legolas quickly went to his aid, and the man smiled his appreciation.

“May I ask you a question?” he enquired politely as they continued to work. Legolas nodded.

“I hear that Elves have some kind of tie with their forests, and that you are able to talk to the trees. Is this so?”

“Certainly it is for Wood Elves such as my friends and me. Our light shines brightest when we are in the forests of our homes, and we all hear the sweet voices of the trees, although some more than others,” replied Legolas, wondering at the thoughtful look on the ranger’s face.

“Then perhaps you might be interested in a tale I have heard about a tree that is said to be the oldest one in these parts? I imagine if you could speak with it, it would have much to tell of times gone by.” 

“Where would I find such a tree, for I would dearly love to make its acquaintance,” said Legolas, the delight in his eyes driving away his melancholy.

“As the story goes, it is a short distance from the river, in the woods just north of Pelargir,” he told the Elf. Legolas thanked him for the information and decided that he would seek out this wonder as soon as he returned from Minas Tirith.

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Both Elladan and Elrohir noted their friend’s troubled countenance as they made their way to Aragorn’s court, and initially their enquires were met with a simple, “Nothing of import, please do not worry,” but after Legolas’s distraction caused him to burn the rabbit he was roasting for their evening meal, Elrohir insisted on a more detailed explanation. When he had finished speaking of the inner conflict that troubled his heart, of his uncertainty surrounding his future, they both nodded wisely.

“We understand, mellon nin,” said Elladan with a hint of sadness. Legolas cast him a dubious glance. “Not the sea longing, of course, for we are not afflicted in that way, but deciding when to leave has weighed heavily on us both.”

“I would have thought having to choose between Elf and Man would have been more difficult.” Legolas observed as he looked from one to the other in some confusion.

“Nay, Arwen chose to stay with her heart, as did we, for we always intended to sail to where our beloved Nana awaits. Yet our hearts were also torn between leaving with Adar and staying in Arda as long as our sweet sister lives.” Elrohir told him.

“Obviously you decided to stay.” He knew that Elrond and the others had sailed to Valinor several years ago.

“Ai, for as you have promised Aragorn, so have we promised Arwen,” said Elladan.

“It is a promise I do not know that I can keep. The choice to sail West, and perhaps even the choice of when to leave was taken from my hands by the cry of the gulls. Adar tried to warn me of the dangers of loving mortals, and the ties that bind me here are strong. I am being pulled in two directions. Part of me wants to honour my vow, and part of me wants to sail even as we speak.” He sighed angrily, but allowed his obvious frustration to be tempered by a friendly arm about his shoulders. He smiled his thanks at Elrohir and listened as Elladan spoke words meant to comfort.

“The path you walk is a difficult one, but surely the Valar will reward you for the suffering you endure out of love and loyalty. Perhaps you should consider the words our grandsire offered before we finally made our choice.”

“And what wisdom did Lord Celeborn offer?” Legolas was understandably curious.

“He suggested that we remember that for an Elf, time is of no real consideration and that a mortal’s days are numbered whereas our loved ones in Valinor will still be waiting when we finally sail. It is certainly part of the reason he did not leave with the Ring bearers.” Elrohir explained.

“I had not considered it from that point of view, and I do not think Adar has either,” Legolas mused, with a spark of hope. It was true, of course, but he was still uncertain that he could resist the siren song of the gulls, even knowing it would only be for a short time.

“Does King Thranduil plan on leaving Arda?” Elladan suddenly wondered.

“I have not dared to ask, for I fear his reply will be that he is too strongly bound to the forest and Arda to ever leave,” replied Legolas sadly.

“He and Lord Celeborn are of a like mind in their passion for their homes, but I am certain they will both eventually decide otherwise.” Elladan spoke with such confidence that both Elrohir and Legolas firmly believed it would be so.

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Arwen was overjoyed to see her brothers, and embraced them warmly when they arrived the next day. Legolas also received an affectionate hug, and was then unceremoniously dragged out into the garden to complete the planting before the travel worn seedlings died. The work took only a few days, and to Aragorn’s dismay, as soon as the gardens were established, Legolas left word with the Dwarves requesting Gimli to visit Ithilien then took his leave and returned home. Not only was the Elf eager to find the tree that the ranger had told him about, but he was anxious to do so before the comforting presence of Thranduil arrived. On his return to the haven, Legolas moored his boat and then sought out Tathar to tell him of the short trip he planned to take.

Tathar tried to dissuade Legolas from taking such a trip, concerned as he was for his distracted state of mind, and seeing the determination in his friend’s eyes, offered to accompany him. He was displeased when Legolas refused the offer, and his displeasure turned to anger at the folly of his not only going alone, but for the secrecy of his destination. Legolas had decided to keep that information to himself lest Tathar try to follow. He wanted, no needed, to be alone and he hoped that perhaps with ancient tree would soothe his troubled heart could or at the very least he would be offered some guidance, or if not, perhaps a very interesting conversation.

Thus it was that when Tathar realised Legolas was missing, he was somehow not surprised, but he took full weight of the responsibility on his own shoulders. Elves and Rangers allied to form search parties, but the whereabouts of the elusive Elf could not be discovered. Tathar began to grow fearful for his friend’s well being, and was relieved when Aragorn arrived from Minas Tirith in the company of Thranduil and Gimli to join the search.

He was even more relieved when they returned several weeks later with Legolas, alive and well and, as he welcomed his friend’s return with  a strong, affectionate embrace he sensed  an air of serenity that suggested his inner conflict had somehow been resolved.

“I was so worried for you, mellon nin,” he said tenderly when they finally parted, but then his mood turned decidedly irate. “How dare you go and become lost in a storm, leaving me to deal with your very concerned Adar and the Dwarf of whom he is not overly fond,” he said angrily, using words to vent his pent up emotions.

“I am sorry, Tathar, I should have heeded your words. I was in no fit state to undertake a lone journey. Will you forgive me for causing you so much trouble?” Legolas humbly beseeched his friend.

“Only if you promise to tell me everything that happened, for I can tell you did more than just lose your way,” he replied, his smile returning as Legolas quickly agreed and sealed his promise with a chaste kiss to Tathar’s cheek.

Later that evening, the trees witnessed the strange sight of Elves, a Man and a Dwarf gathered around the fire listening as Legolas told them of his encounter with the stranger known as Gwael.

I went in search of an ancient tree, and as you know, I was caught in a sudden storm, and after breaking my ankle and being knocked unconscious I found myself on the banks of the river, in the company of a strange old man. I could hear a sound that reminded me of the waterfalls of Imladris, but the man, Gwael, told me it was not a waterfall, but the sea.  

I was mesmerized by the whispering voice of the sea that was growing ever louder, until it became a thunderous roar, seeming to pulse with its own heartbeat and in time with mine. As the path fanned out before me onto a wide expanse of sandy beach, I tasted the tangy saltiness with which the warm breath of the air kissed my lips, as I stood still, gazing with wonder at the constantly moving blackness that stretched to the horizon becoming as one with the dark night sky.  

“Legolas, come with us!”   

The waves seemed to whisper invitingly as they retreated back into the sea after they had broken on the shore. A firm hand on my arm prevented me from attempting to follow the sweet voice, which I so dearly desired to do. I glared angrily at Gwael, but found he was alarmed to see such an intense longing burning in my eyes.

“Let me go!” I hissed as I vainly tried to pull free of the old man’s grasp.

“No, I can not, it is not yet time for you to go,” said Gwael earnestly.  

“What are you saying, can you not hear the waves calling me?” I asked as I was quickly becoming distraught. “Why did you bring me here if not to let me go?”  

“I brought you here to face your fear, and to help ease your heart of its turmoil,” replied the old man. “Yes the sea is calling to you, but you should listen more closely to your inner voice, are there not others who also call to your heart?” He could easily see lure of the sea was waging a war with me, for I remained silent as I tried to resolve my inner conflict.  

“Tell me about your friends, tell me about Gimli and Aragorn,” suggested Gwael as he indicated with his hand that I should sit with him on the sand that glowed pearly white in the darkness.  

“What do you wish to know,” I asked in a subdued manner.  

“Do you love them, do you cherish their friendship?”  

“Ai, they are both like brothers to me, especially Gimli,” I replied allowing an affectionate smile to curl my lips as I thought of the Dwarf.  

“Do you wish to leave them?” asked Gwael, staring intently into my eyes.  

“Nay, it would cause me much grief were I to do so. I would be taking heartache with me to Valinor,” I admitted with sadness.  

“And would it not also greatly grieve them were you to sail to the Undying Lands, leaving them behind? Do they not return your love and friendship in full measure?” asked the healer in an effort to make me recognize that not only my feelings were at stake. 

“Of that my heart has no doubt,” I agreed without hesitation.  

“Yet since they are both mortal, their days will come to an end in but a short measure of elvish time. Would not the wisest solution to your dilemma be for you to stay in Middle Earth until their days are spent?”   

“Ai, even now the sea calls strongly to me, but even stronger are the bonds of friendship of which you speak. For love of the King and the Dwarf I will delay my journey to Valinor,” I told him, suddenly feeling as if a great weight had been lifted from my heart.

“Who was this mysterious old man?” asked Tathar. As he finished speaking, Legolas became momentarily lost in thought as he realized that Gwael’s advice had been much the same as Celeborn had offered his grandsons, and he wondered briefly if the once Lord of Lothlorien also knew him. Seeing his son’s preoccupation, Thranduil answered for him.

“I asked Círdan much the same question, for I met him as I bid Elisiel farewell from the Havens. He answered evasively telling me only that the stranger’s name was Gwael and that he could be found in Mithlond every time a ship sailed for Valinor, as he had already done for many lives of men. He is definitely not merely an old man, but as for being an Istar… well, even to this day I m not certain. I can only tell you that he has been granted the grace of Ilúvatar to appear as man or bird, and that he is King of the Gulls.”

“I care not so much who or what he is, but I do care that he was able to ease your heart, Legolas,” said Tathar.

“I think I have found some measure of peace, and even a little control over the sea longing at last,” Legolas assured him.

“So I take it you have decided to stay with Aragorn and me, and there will be no more of this running away to sea nonsense,” stated Gimli in his usual abrupt manner that was a sign of his deep affection. Legolas placed a hand on the Dwarf’s shoulder and grinned wickedly.

“Indeed, friend Gimli. Upon reflection I realized that although I have visited your caves, you have not yet learned to climb a tree and so I must stay and see to your education,” he teased.

“Humph! You have as much chance of doing that, Elf, as I do of sailing to Valinor with you,” he exclaimed, causing everyone to laugh.

“And I am grateful that you will be here to be a part of my son’s life, for you are as a brother to me,” said Aragorn, the meaning of his words silencing the laughter as all eyes turned to stare at the now blushing King.

“I sensed something different about Arwen when we were working on her gardens, “said Legolas as he moved to give Aragorn a congratulatory embrace. “I am delighted for you both.”

“It is customary among Men and Elves… and Dwarves?” Thranduil asked with a sidelong glance at Gimli who nodded affirmation, “to offer a toast on the announcement of an upcoming birth.” Tathar moved to fetch the wine, and returned a short time later with five cups and bottle from the small stock of Aragorn’s favorite wine that Legolas kept for the King’s visits. The cups were raised and good wishes offered as they drank a toast to the unborn heir of Gondor. Aragorn could not contain his happiness, and soon all voices but one joined in the chorus of a merry elvish song.

When the singing ended, Tathar suddenly excused himself from the group and made his way back to his talan. Only when he reached the sanctuary of his room did he let his tears fall freely. Legolas had felt his friend’s unmistakable grief and he followed, meaning to offer comfort, yet tears filled his own eyes as he climbed the ladder and a heartbreakingly sad whisper reached his ears.

“Faelas, I miss you.”