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Elf, Interrupted: Book One: Glorfindel Redux by Fiondil	7 Review(s)
hawkeye	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 9/24/2014
You weren't joking when you said Amarië would see the light in a future chapter! On the one hand, I'm happy that she finally got a talking to, but oddly enough I'm a bit sad that it had to come to that. While she hasn't been a very likable character so far, I can see her point in some respects. She lost her love once, and now it must feel like she's losing him again. I think her response, misplaced though it may be, is probably more common than I'd like to admit. When you want something, especially something you've lost before, you grab for it harder the next time around. Ultimately I think it comes back to love versus fear. Love, real love, is patient and endures all and hopes. But in the face of fear, I think it gets twisted. She thinks she's loving Finrod, but really she's trying to keep him from abandoning her again. I love how Námo is able to help her release that. In a lot of ways, I think that's what God does for us. On a side note, Amarië is either the bravest or the craziest elleth ever. I can't imagine anyone else slapping a Vala in the face, much less that one. Being called a symbol, no matter how noble, could be very hurtful, especially if, as I think Amarië was, you were hurting already. I also really enjoyed seeing Námo and Vairë again. Their love is both beautiful and terrible in its depth and its perfection. That too, I think, is a reflection of Ilúvatar, whose love can't be comprehended. I can't wait to see Finrod's reaction to Amarië's present. Hopefully now that she's been able to spend her anger she will be able to really show Finrod the love that she has for him. He needs her and her love, probably more than either of them realize. I do wonder how much or what Arafinwë thinks of the whole thing. I suspect that he knows they will be good for each other, otherwise he would probably have sent Amarië away for good. Anyway, I've babbled enough here. Thank you for another lovely chapter :) Author Reply: Hi Hawkeye. When you get around to reading "In Darkness Bound" you will see Amarië in a different light, I think, as you will encounter her long before she and Finrod even became betrothed. At the same time you will see how she came to be the way she is here, or at least the germ of that transformation. We know very little about her from the Silmarillion, only that she was Finrod's betroth and that she was forbidden from following him into exile and that's it. I decided that even when Finrod returned to Aman it would not be easy for either of them to pick up where they had left off in their relationship. We will see how things progress between them from hereon out. And the love between Námo and Vairë is indeed a reflection of Ilúvatar's love for us and I think it important that we see this through the love between these two rather than from any of the other Valar. No one stops to think what it means for Námo, the dread Lord of Mandos, to be married to anyone. Vairë's no fool and would not cleave to one who was a cold-hearted bastard as Námo is often depicted. Anyway, thanks for reviewing. I appreciate it.

Kaylee	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 7/27/2008
Amarie learned a valuable lesson in Mandos. And I wish I'd been there to see the look on the cooks' faces when she inquired about the porridge. That must have been priceless. grin Oh, and I also liked the "Proprieties, my dear. We must observe the proprieties...unless you would prefer standing around naked?" snicker ~Kaylee!! Author Reply: I'm sure the cooks' expressions were priceless and even more so when Finrod returned asking for seconds. grin

Larner	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 2/12/2008
Ah--good--she's letting go the anger and resentment, the first steps toward learning to love what IS rather than what WAS. And she's learned something new about her Finderato. (Plus she's had a chance to see just how beautiful he is when unclothed. Heh!) Author Reply: Amarië's been holding in her emotions for too long and this has been a long time coming. Hopefully, this little lesson will stick and she will progress accordingly into the loving elleth Finrod remembers from before.

Nariel	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 6/17/2007
I absolutely LOVE the chapters with Amarie. You make her seem more than a 2-D character. Fiondil, will you please get her in the story more? I'm in a phase where I love Finrod stories currently. Oh yeah! In the chapter I liked how emotional you made Amarie, so that we (the readers) will understand and share to a certain extent the character's feelings. Also, continue updating faster please!!!!!!!!!! Author Reply: I'm glad you like Amarië. She starts out being an unloveable character but she does grow on you, especially after her little "chat" with Námo. She will turn up later on and will have a significant presence, at least where Finrod is concerned. I update once a week, and that's more frequent than most authors do.

Edlyn	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 4/5/2007
Poor Amarië. I think her highborn vs. lowborn prejudices are part of her attempt to separate herself from others so she doesn't get hurt again, even though she may not be aware of the underlying reasons for her words or actions. If she isolates herself from others and limits those she permits near to those of a certain class (in this case the nobility) she can control aspects of thier behaviour towards herself. Control seems to be something she desires because her life has been influenced negatively by something she had absolutely no control over. She's also jealous because she sees Finderato treating Glorfindel and Sador with an affection that she feels should be directed solely towards herself. Before he left Aman she was the person he loved, joked with, spent time with and was affectionate towards. But now he's come back, she's discovered that she might as well be a stranger he's only just met. She takes refuge in protocol and good manners and has aimed her dislike of the entire situation at Glorfindel, possibly because he belongs in the class of people that she feels she understands the bestand can therefore control and because he is one of those who Finderato loves. She doesn't dare express her discontent to Finderato (or his parents) for fear that he may trn from her completely, never ot come back, because she does still love him. She's suffering from her own trauma, which is essentially untreated grief and has essentially been hanging on with her fingernails for centuries, trying ot keep up appearances. She doesn't understand that its perfectly all right to be agry and upset at someone even when you do love him with your entire heart. (Sigh. Lord Námo, you really should listen to your wife. She does know what she's talking about in regards to the things that look best on you. It's really quite silly to ignore the advice of the best weaver in Arda when it comes to matters sartorial.) Amarië's reaction to Lord Námo is likely due to two things: the first being what appears to be common misperception among the Amanildi that he exists only to punish them, the second being the huge load of guilt and emotional baggage she's been carrying around all these centuries, because she can't reconcile the comon belief that one should NEVER be angry at hte person one loves and the fact that she's rightly angry for Finderato abandoning her for Middle Earth. The societal expectation that one shouldn't be angry at one's love regardless of what he or she did is so so powerful that she can't not feel guilty for not being able to live up to it. So that guilt fueled her panic when she saw Lord Námo and jumped to the conclusion that he was there to punish her. The funny thing about panic is that while you're running or whatever, your common sense and intellect are telling you that running really isn' going ot change anything or do any good but you aren't capable of accepting what they are telling you. Amarië is definitely astray (I liked your choice of the word errant here as it was one of my vocabulary words this week in Latin class: errare - to go astray, to be mistaken, to wander) in the more ways than one. Her response to her situation, while allowing her to survive without fading is one that has continued to hurt her fëa. Her physically fleeing from Lord Námo is certainly indicative of her straying away from the love of hte Valar and Eru in her confusion and misery. While I can certainly imagine myself being so hurt and angry that I'd forget myself enough to slap anyone (much less some like Lord Námo!) I hope that I don't ever experience that in real life. The times I have been "seeing red" angry, I've managed to avoid being around people and turned my rage on inanimate objects (like walls and pillows). Nevertheless, Amarië's frustration and anger are perfectly legitmate in my opinion. There are times when you simply must do something physical to express the anger your feel before it poisons you completely (note to self: remember stone walls beat a clenched fist every time). The despair that falls on Amarië is something that she's really been struggling with all these years and it's a testament ot her will that even if her coping methods were faulty they have been relatively effective. I have felt that miserable coldness myself and it's a difficult thing to foght and to pull oneself away from. I frankly think that most people can't do it without some sort of intervention from outside (in Amarië's case, said intervention being Lord Námo) to break the rage/guilt/despair cycle. And I can certainly understand how frustratingly maddening it is to be thought of only as a symbol. I know that you too have dealt with the same thing. As Amarië expressed so vividly, she is far more than a symbol of patience just as I am far more than a "disabled veteran" and you are more than a "cancer survivor." None of us are our labels. However, as none of the Valar (and Lord Námo especially) never speak without choosing their words very carefully, I strongly suspect that he purposefully used the label to trigger the necessary lancing of the long-standing infection of Amarië's fëa. I feel that Amarië is a woman who has an internal critic who keeps reminding her that she should be a "good little elleth" and "good little elleth" aren't supposed to be angry much less express it, which also adds to the guilt that has built up alsongside the anger. Námo essentially shut that internal critic up by giving her permission to express what she really felt and reassuring her that she wasn't a bad elleth for feeling the way she did (her actions might be another matter, though). Námo's "little joke" was most certainly payback for the slap and I susect that Vairë gave him an earful about it later on. Hmmm. Obviously, you are using the word "terrible" in reference to the expression of love between the two Vala in its meaning of "intense or extreme in extent," though I can see that the sheer power of love expressed would be somewhat alarming to the elleth. Letting Amarië see that exchange was purposeful. She really needed a reminder of how love is truly expressed. I've noticed in this story that much healing takes place in gardens. That seems so right to me, especially when the one being healed is an Eldar. This event was certainly a judgment for Amarië and like the other judgments you've shown us it was painful but utterly necessary and given with love and care. The catharsis and purification it engenders is well worth the pain of the process. Now she'll be able to truly love (and express that love to) Finderato and she'll be much more an elleth who deserves to be loved back. In order for Finderato to completely heal, those who love him must also be healed, partly so they can help him, and partly (mostly) because they deserve healing in their own right as Children of Iluvatar. That empty feeling Amarië feels after the second catharsis shows that this has been a truly effective treatment. She is now a purified empty vessel ready to be filled with good things. The best thing of all is now that she's accepted the truth that she's hidden away because it hurt too much to contemplate, Lord Námo validated her feelings but at hte same time left her with something to contemplate which will let her beginning filling that empty space with the right kind of things. Amarië wants to be a "good elleth," she truly does love Finderato, but was trapped in a mire of guilt, shame and hurt. Now, because of Námo and Vairë's intervention she can begin again on the path Eru meant for her to walk. Porridge with raisins, cinnamon and sliced apples, a comforting if plebian dish and the perfect gift to give Finderato as Amarië takes her first steps on the right path after such a long and painful detour. I am very proud of Amarië for apologizing ot Glorfindel. It was a real apology and not done for show. It was so good to see the Light shining in her at last. And I'm betting that Lord Námo was chuckling at the expressions on the cooks' faces when she requested the dish. Well written, mellon-nin. And I am much more sympathetic to Amarië than I was when I first met her. Shame on me perhaps, but my first impression was that she was distinctly unlovable and I wondered why Finderato ever had anything to do with her. (And yes, I'm referring to Finrod as Finderato because that's how Amarië refers to him) May you live blessed Edlyn Author Reply: The interesting thing about your reviews, meldenya, is that sometimes I have to go back to re-read the chapter just to make sure I actually wrote it! lol Amarië is indeed a complex and conflicted character (I hate two-dimensional characters myself). Her antipathy and antagonistic ways are but the surface of who she is, the "face" she has decided to show to the world, but not necessarily the person she really is. She hides behind respectability and socially acceptable behavior (as do we all), while all the while seething within with poison that can't be lanced because to do it publicly is "just not done". I think one of the reasons I allow so many of my characters to vent their anger, grief, etc. within a "safe" environment, i.e. in Lord Námo's arms or in the arms of one of the other Valar, is because I was never given that same permission growing up. My younger brother could throw a tantrum at the drop of a hat and no one turned a hair. All I had to do was raise my voice a single decibel and I was pounced on and told that my behavoir was inappropriate. It made for much frustration to the point where I still can't express myself in that fashion as readily as I wish, though I'm in the "beat the pillow, not the person" camp of anger management myself. grin Lord Námo's quip about his clothes is probably a long-running joke between himself and Lady Vairë (and the rest of the Valar) but I think he says it because he knows that his clothes are not the reason for Amarië's (or other people's) reaction upon seeing him. Gardens, for me, have always been a symbol of refuge and repose. When I've traveled in Europe, for instance, I was more likely to spend my time wandering through gorgeous gardens rather than through musty museums. They, to me, are an expression of a person's soul (whether it's how that soul really is, or how that soul wishes itself to be). Even "abandoned" gardens hold a fascination for me that the most artfully executed painting never has. I personally am not fond of roses, though I love the peach-colored ones myself, but rose gardens are ubiquitous and I've enjoyed them as much as any other garden. Porridge with raisins and cinnamon and sliced apples may be plebian but it works. lol

hanci	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/27/2006
Poor Amarië, suddenly in Mandos. It's good to see her healed, I felt bad for her. Námo is great. Author Reply: I think Námo is great too, which is why I like writing about him. He's my favorite Vala.

Bodkin	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/24/2006
I'm glad to see Namo's care extending to those whose fear have not passed into his care. Amarie hasn't seemed a particularly pleasant character - but, when you think about her, you can understand her resentment. And she has now learned some things she needs to know. Author Reply: Part of the fun of writing this story is expanding beyond Glorfindel and exploring some of the other elves and how they were affected by the Rebellion of the Noldor. Amarië is one such canon character and I will be exploring others along the way.

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