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| Swan-song by Lady Bluejay | 3 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Gimli for the win | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 9/1/2011 |
| To be honest the relationship with Bergit was actually where the story arc started to go bad for me. I thought the plot was a flat out cruel thing to do to someone in that condition and to a fellow soldier, and was generally a low thing to do no matter the strain of the situation or his feelings for the woman - it just felt traitorous and pathetic. And I'll also admit that I didn't like Guleth either (and this isn't because I cannot bare to see Eomer with anyone but Lothririel- that Eomer had relationships before her just makes it more realistic to me), I could kind of see what was coming, and reading this chapter I couldn't help but think that Guleth will either want her son to think her dead husband was his father, or Lothiriel will either be completely supportive of his decisions or insist on Eomer claiming the boy as his son. And that's nice and all, but I just wish she would somewhere get a little annoyed or angry, or assert herself and not be the perfect wife all the time (seeing as Eomer seems to be very much playing the imperfect husband - for example his - albeit briefly - even contemplating 'breaking trust' with Lothiriel in the first chapter). In any other situation, a woman would at the very least feel a little sad that her husband's first born child was not her own. I totally understand and somewhat applaud how you write your character as real people with flaws, and it does seem entirely possible that royalty could have offspring without them being aware of it. All I'm saying is that for me, in this instance, it has taken something away from the characters, and any romance or genuine warmth between Eomer and Lothiriel is steadily being zapped out of the story for me. I'd also like to mention that despite the impression my above comments may give, I think you're a very talented writer, and you're one of the few writers that made me take such an interest in this pair. Reading a story like this by anyone else, I would role my eyes and move on without comment. It's only because I enjoy your writing so much that I was frustrated enough to leave a comment, if that makes sense? Author Reply: Well, I have a bit of sympathy with you over Bergit and Edwick. But I feel that he would never have done it had Bergit not made the first move. And the fact that he let his friend down affected him in the years after. I think I had him say somewhere that he would never break a trust again. I think we all do things we regret and imagine Éomer is no different – although he has learnt from it. And the scene in Harad was only a thought flitting through his mind having a tantalizing woman dance in front of him. Quite understandable to me. Sorry you don’t like Guleth. I see her as taking the opportunity when she could. And I have sympathy with her starting a relationship with someone like Éomer – as I think I said – opportunities like that come once in a lifetime. Be assured they are still romantic together – I will have to show that a bit more. Thanks for voicing your views – they do help me see things from a reader's perspective as sometime all that is in my mind does not get put down on the page. LBJ | |
| Gimli for th win | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 9/1/2011 |
| I know you're probably trying to write these characters as realistic people, but wth every story I just like Eomer less and less. And where has Lothloriel's backbone gone? | |
| AzureSkye | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 8/27/2011 |
| Mmh, yes, I'd wondered about that in 'Drummer'. Well, on to see how this affects things.... Thank you for the family lists! Now I can refer back to here when I get confused again... :) Wonderful chapter as always! Author Reply: Thanks. And thnks for your suggestion about the family trees. LBJ | |