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| The Real Version of the LOTR by Lindorien | 17 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| RAKSHA THE DEMON | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 3/15/2004 |
| One of the funniest versions of LOTR that I've ever read. Who knew that sweet, serious Leggy could be so funny a narrator! Loved the idea of the FOTR being arranged in haste so Aragorn could be crowned King of Gondor in time to make an honest elf-woman out of Arwen...And Boromir and Faramir are well-done; I almost wish we really could have seen more of Faramir and the half-wit-er-halfling (Pippin is my favorite hobbit, so I'll make fun of him if I want to)trotting through Mordor. Author Reply: Thanks Raksha! This thing is such a silly romp that it still amazes me that people read it and get such a kick out of it! This is what happens when I stay up much too late drink much too much...um...coffee. Lindorien | |
| EomerofEastfold | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 3/11/2004 |
| Well, that was all rather silly. It seems a wonder that the quest was completed at all given all that happened. :) Oh, and I say again. Poor Frodo..... Author Reply: Well, that was all VERY silly. It's what happens when I am working on a serious piece. Seriously. I usually write a funny version to go along with it. I am warped that way. Poor poor Frodo. | |
| EomerofEastfold | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 3/11/2004 |
| Um, just to point something out, it was the river Isen that flooded Isengard. The Entwash was on the other side of Rohan. Poor, poor, Frodo. And yet Boromir lives? At least we think he does. And Pippin has the ring? Must continue on and see how this turns out. Author Reply: I shall fix that when I do the revised edition due out Christmas 2004. Sure, Boromir lives. It's my universe, I'll do what I damned well please. Yes and Pippin has the ring. Don't know how that happened. Neither does Pippin. | |
| Kitt of Lindon | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 2/23/2004 |
| I love this side of Legolas. Most folk are too afraid to do Legolas like this-but you have nerve. Ingenious nerve. I cracked up many a time reading through this. I like how Legolas says how he is always getting ignored. And the sad, horrible truth is that it is true. Keep up the funny. (Yes, that sounds a bit lame, but I’m brain-dead today.) Author Reply: Ah, Darling, well if you be brain-dead than you are more than qualified to read my works. Believe it or not, this is my VERY FIRST FANFIC, so it holds a sentimental place in my heart. I cry everytime I read it. That I have nerve has been expressed to me many times before, but I so like your adjective preceeding - Ingenious. Usually people use the modifier 'You-have-a-lotta' in front of that word, so to hear I am 'Ingenious' is truly a landmark occasion. Please continue reading and reviewing. You don't sound lame at all. I like lame. Lame is one of the things I do best. Lindorien | |
| Ariel | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 12/19/2003 |
| You really are a pill you know... an absolute stinker. :p - though you have yet to explain how my dearest squire got here to TE sans his finger. Ah well, he is here, thankfully, and manages to get more action than that ranger fellow ever dreamed of. Toodles! :k Ariel Author Reply: Whoo! Believe me, Ariel, being called a pill ain't so bad. I've been called far worse and quite recently. Even stinker is looking pretty benign. And I don't have to explain NUTTIN'. I ain't talkin' see. What Frodo did with his finger is absolutely NONE of my business. Thankyouverymuch. Since Arwen's nailed Aragorn he'll be keeping his privates where they belong from now on in. If not, Gimli will have another 'talk' with him. So glad you haven't murdered me. lindorien | |
| Ariel | Reviewed Chapter: 11 on 12/19/2003 |
| heheheheh OK... despite the fact that you killed off my darling boy somewhere back in chapter 5, I am giggling my fanny off reading this. You hate me, I know you do. You are trying to get me fired by making me laugh out loud in my office. Admit it. You will feel better about yourself if you do. Ariel Author Reply: I am soooo glad that I have not received any ticking packages from the Shire! You've no idea how worried I was that you would personally send Fatty Bolger out to 'have a little talk' with me. He handled those three black riders hanging outside Crickhollow so well, I feared it would be him and an army of Tooks and Brandybucks behind him. | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 12/13/2003 |
| OK, I confess I have been enjoying this too much up until now to stop to review (BAD reader! BAD!)but I just fell off my chair howling at his one - "What am I - the only freakin' elf on this wall with a bow?" You crack me up. Author Reply: Well, you know, I really did wonder why, with a thousand elves lined up on that wall, Aragorn expends so much energy getting Legolas' attention on that one. I honestly through there would be a spate of 'guilt-ridden Legolas' fics for having failed to bring the beast down. I call him the 'Olympic Runner Uruk-hai'. Only HIS flame would ignite the Holy Gunpowder. PJ could not have done that scene any better than if he had had the theme from 'Rocky' playing as the 'Obviously Very Significant Uruk-Hai bearing the Unusual Flame' came sprinting across the battlefield. You would think every elf on that wall who wasn't actually blind would have seen him coming from a mile away and had him targeted. Idle question -- how come, given all the rain, none of the Uruk's torches went out? here's my other idle question...would Haldir have died if Aragorn had not distracted him? Where are all the 'guilt-ridden Aragorn' fics over that gaff? I'll shut up now. Lindorien | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 12/13/2003 |
| Hey, wait - you cannot be done! You have to wait to get more material from the great AU media artist - its only days away! And I want to know the Faramir-Pippin story too! So, if you are sick, I guess the rest of are a little bit too. Author Reply: Oh dear. The Faramir-Pippin story? What's to tell? They wandered around Mordor looking so lost and confused that nobody could have possibly believed that they were up to something. Ah yes, ROTK coming out in a few days...That shall wait until Christmas day. Its a new christmas tradition in our family. We go to see the new the new PJ film on christmas day with the other three Jews in town. Believe it or not. I did not see FOTR until the May after it came out. Once ROTK comes out, I would have to do the alternatte ending Real Version of LOTR, in which Eowyn makes stew for Faramir and kills him by accident, but not before she gets her hands on his, um, 'rod of office'. Eowyn becomes Steward of Gondor and spends her days looking daggers at Aragorn until he decides that she too has become a threat to his authority. Meanwhile, Arwen, after discovering the first grey hair, decides this mortality stuff is not all its cracked up to be and so heads to Umbar for a quickie divorce where she likewise convinces a Corsair to carry her to Valinor. Eldarion and his sisters are left to be raised by Aragorn, a solo parent who ends up drowning his sorrows in miruvor egg nog in a world where its always winter, but never christmas, until the Snow Queen, who entices them away with promises of turkish delight, is overthrown by the boy who lived and his strangely named cohorts. There now -- I think that about covers everything. | |
| Orophins Dottir | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 12/13/2003 |
| Bless you lass! I have not laughed aloud this much since the Second Age. The slicing and dicing of the Pelennor Fields was priceless. If you will excuse me, I shall just join the elves on their mass potty break. The Scribe Author Reply: Thank you, thank you. Somebody read this once, I forget who, and made the comment,, "It is difficult to sustain humor for a length of time." So I hid this under a rock in embarrassment. I've a feeling that plenty of people out there reading this wish I'd left it under that rock, but I must say it was well worth the time to post it for all your appreciative comments. My own personal favorite line was Boromir saying, "I suppose Faramir told you he wouldn't touch if it lay by the side of the road." that and the bits about people being threats to Aragorn's authority. It is good for the less than sane among us to encourage one another. How nice to meet a kindred soul. I still have to get the Brothers Dreidel posted. Sure to be the last nail in my coffin -- that one. Thanks, thanks. Lindorien | |
| Orophins Dottir | Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/13/2003 |
| I think I am headed for cardiac arrest from laughing. Oh, save us! I am definitely shipping out with Legolas, Haldir and Gimli. They are the only sane ones left on Middle Earth! Humble Scribe etc. | |