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|The Day After by Thundera Tiger||15 Review(s)|
|insignia||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/22/2007|
|Have just found these two fics and wanted to say how much I enjoyed them both - thank you! I had never thought about how the relationship between these two great characters would develop. You have given me here much food for thought. |
The strength of feeling which they both demonstrate in their concerns about each other and the impact that knowing each other has had on them is movingly drawn. The way in which Gimli reflects on how he has unwittingly changed Legolas's outlook on time's passing, and his deep sadness at the measure of grief which he can see coming to Legolas and which no action of either one can deflect, verges on the tragic.
A little PS - an unfortunate typo late in this tale nearly spoilt it for me - certainly threw me (and my mood). "Dregs" should be "drugs", I think?
Author Reply: Thank you so much for your review, insignia! I'm glad you caught the emotional connection between the two and as well as the consequences of their actions. Hopefully the tragedy was equally strong for both Legolas and Gimli, as that was the original intent, though perhaps it's easier to see it in Legolas because elves just seem to be rather tragic figures. Anyway, thank you so much for the review.
Concerning "dregs" vs "drugs," I actually did mean "dregs" as I was envisioning the medicine as a precipitate that had been diluted in a more pleasant tasting liquid, but I can see where the confusion comes in. Apologies for the rough spot!
|Mirime93||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/10/2007|
|Omg, that was so good... Sorry about my lack of ability to elaborate but I enjoyed the story. I've not read a lot of Gimli fics, but I really loved that one...|
|hc||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/11/2005|
|My son told me about your story. He is a Marine and often struggles to make us understand the parts of his life that we can't imagine. He felt that your story hit "the day after" just right with these words:|
"The minutes of the following day tick away so slowly that by its end I feel as though I have gone mad. There are no moments when time ceases to matter. There is simply the past and the future. The past is a grim story of who has fallen and who yet clings to life. The future is a dark, uncertain passage that some will reach and some will not. And in between is the present, where long hours creep painfully by and those of us still hale wait for tidings of our friends and companions, helpless to do anything more."
Although I do not have his experience with "the day after", your words really brought a vivid picture of how it might be. Also, your skillful use of the first person POV should be used as an eaxmple in writing classes. Very few writers can do it as well.
Thank you for a well written, thought provoking story.
Author Reply: Hello HC,
I can't tell you how much your review meant. I was trying to put into words things that others had told me, and I was never quite sure how accurate I was. And the fact that this might have helped your understanding of a concept that is foreign to both of us floors me. I'm flattered beyond words, and I can only offer up my deep gratitude for sharing these thoughts with me. Thank you. And thank you for the comments about the POV. It was an experiment for me, and I'm so glad it didn't ruin the bulk of the story. Thank you once again for the review. It means the world to me!
|Legolass||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 12/3/2004|
|Tundera Tiger, you have shown wonderful insight in perceiving what could well be the sentiments of Elf and Dwarf concerning Time as the result of their constant interaction. Honestly, this piece caught me by surprise with an unexpected, powerful observation of how the experience of a phenomenon we take for granted may be gradually changed for members of the Fellowship, with sad consequences. It is a narration full of the bittersweetness of close friendship yet laced with inevitable melancholy. To date, I have found only two pieces from the Stories of Arda I simply had to recommend to someone else. This is one of them. Well done!|
Author Reply: Hey Legolass!
I'm flattered you though this story was worth recommending to others. I'm rather fond of it myself, but that's really no measure of how good something is. Anyway, thank you so much for such a nice review. I worked hard to get a bittersweet sense of friendship across, but I wasn't sure how well that worked. So I'm glad you picked up on it. That relieves me. It's not all bad, but endings are not necessarily happy things. Thank you again for a review that shot my ego somewhere into the upper atmosphere!
|fliewatuet||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/29/2004|
|Just a really quick note to say that I quite enjoyed the short story. I'll give you a more detailed review in your LJ (gone is the free time ... *sigh*)|
Author Reply: No rush! If you don't have time, then you don't have time. Go do more important things! Go! Become one with real life!
|docmon||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/28/2004|
|What a beautifully written story. You describe their friendship so artfully and with so much insight. I particularly liked this line:|
Did he realize what it meant to be sundered from the moment and trapped in the day after?
For some reason this line struck home the impact of all he was thinking about. It brought home all the emotions Gimli was wrestling with.
And when Legolas says:
"It will be a trying day, my friend... Already the very minutes seem long."
After all you've written, this phrase now is filled with weariness and longing. I can feel Gimli's anguish with him.
Just so well done... as usual!! yay Thundera!
Author Reply: Many thanks! Legolas's line about the minutes seeming long was actually what the entire fic was supposed to build to. Gimli was supposed to muse about Legolas's problem, he was supposed to consider it serious, but he was also supposed to slightly underestimate it. His imperssion was that Legolas viewed years and months as long, not necessarily days, though that was a possibility. Legolas's statement about minutes was supposed to underscore Gimli's musings and tell him (and everybody else) that the problem was actually more serious than Gimli first thought, hence the reason for the tears. I don't know if that worked, but even if it didn't, I'm glad you liked that line. It's one I struggled with.
In other news, I'm currently writing responses to a couple of long emails, so if you're waiting for a response to yours, I'm getting to it, I promise! It's just taking me a little longer.
|Estel_Mi_Olor||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/28/2004|
|That was beautiful, and very deep. I never thought about time that way, nor the differences between Legolas's perception and Gimli's. Well, no, that's not true. Of course I realize that time does not flow for immortals as it does for mortals, but not in the way you described it. I wasn't aware that Legolas's perception of time would be so impacted by his friendship with a mortal. I also never considered that it could drive him mad. Perhaps, in the future, you would consider developing this idea more. Does Legolas go mad? I sincerely hope not. |
I also loved your introduction. "This is, of course, Legolas’s fault". I loved that sentence and how Gimli puts the blame on Legolas, but shows so much concern for him at the end. This fic is very well done and very poignant. Gimli's tears at the end were very touching. Congrats!
Author Reply: Argh! GetoffGetoffGetoff! Okay, that's it. NO MORE PLOTBUNNIES!!! ;)
Seriously, though, I've had a couple of requests to continue this idea in a future story, but while the thought is intriguing, I really don't have much more to say on the subject. Perhaps I'll leave it to others if they're so inclined. Or maybe something will hit me later. Who knows? I certainly don't.
I'm very glad you pointed those lines out as they are my favorites in the entire fic. And I sometimes get attached to lines like that and refuse to see the possibility that they might not be the best lines to use. So it's always good to know that I'm not the only person who likes them. Thank you so much for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
|Ithildin||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/24/2004|
|Thundera, this fic not only lives up to my expectations, it exceeds them - as usual!|
“Sensing my gaze, he turns to me, and the first rays of the sun reflect
upon immortal eyes that are weary and pained. ‘It will be a trying day,
my friend,’ he murmurs. ‘Already the very minutes seem long.’ ”
Powerful. The piece is very poignant, and I think the first person pov really adds to the immediacy of Gimli’s fears and emotional pain, while the ambling pace is in perfect keeping with the interminable nature of the moment. When one is forced to endure an extended period of quietude, it does tend to foster thoughts that ramble on this way, and can sometimes result in a distinct sense of clarity about things that develop so slowly that often a vast amount of change has already taken place by the time we notice it. We mortals seldom take the time for such introspection and reflection until it is thrust upon us.
I don’t know about others, but when my thoughts ramble on like that, it is usually in the form of a conversation with either myself, or someone else I would like to speak to. So the use of ‘you’ in Gimli’s monologue did not seem jarring to me. Maybe I’m just weird, but I don’t find the idea of Gimli ‘talking to himself’ in this circumstance to be farfetched at all.
“I would usually greet him with the comment that it had been a
long time since our last meeting, and a confused look would flash
across his eyes because the time had not been long for him. Nor
had it occurred to him that it might be long for me.”
“In terms of time and his understanding of it, perhaps he has reached
the day after the battle. He no longer lives in moments but has instead
become aware of the changing mortal world. He marks time and feels its
passage. He thinks of the future and what it will bring. He watches
those around him age and weaken, helpless to prevent it.”
Gimli’s musings echo my own thoughts on how Legolas’ perception of time might change as he watched his mortal friends age. I like the insight into the Dwarf’s mind and his view of their friendship. The Dwarf worries for his friend, and not without cause. And I thought seeing the human influence on Legolas here was a nice contrast to the way Seas of Fate emphasizes the alienness of the Elf.
Author Reply: *blushes* Thank you so much for your words! I went with first person for a couple of reasons. First of all, I wanted to try it out again. Just to see what would happen. Second, I thought it made the surrounding world more distant because we were so tangled up in Gimli's thoughts. And I thought that would help the story's mood and also give readers something to relate to. Anyway, I'm glad you think it worked. The "you" references...the more I think about it, the more I don't like them, but I'm very grateful that you're willing to overlook them. ;) That's really far too kind, but I'm not going to complain. The second "you," in particular, is fairly jarring.
As for comparing this with "Seas of Fate," I actually did that a lot while writing it, and I wondered if I would need to justify the difference. In that fic, we saw how foreign Legolas could be (at least, I hope we did) but in this fic, we shift gears and look at how familiar he's becoming. I think the difference is time, because I envision "Day After" as taking place long after "Seas of Fate" and I think the other difference is Gimli himself. He doesn't see Legolas as "the elf" anymore no matter how much he might try. They're too close for that and the differences have been worn away by friendship. And even though Imrahil is counted among Legolas's friends, he just doesn't have the closeness needed for insight. And Gimli does. So it seems that elves continue to be walking paradoxes, even to those who know them best. Thank you for the review!!!
|Eruanna||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/23/2004|
Author Reply: Thank you! Sorry to cause the long face, though.
|mer||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/23/2004|
|This was very good. I appreciate it for a story of it's own as well as something to remember when I am reading your other stories when Legolas and |
Gimli are present.
Will you be writing something similar with Legolas' POV as you did before (about the cave-in incident)?
Everything was well written and wonderfully expressed. One tiny criticism: when you wrote the following-->
"But somehow I have learned to…sense him. If that sounds strange to you, then rest assured that it sounds equally strange to me."
The words-if that sounds strange to you-doesn't seem to fit because it seems he's talking to someone else instead of just thinking. I didn't see this indicated anywhere else. Please know that I only noticed it because I read this more than once.
Thanks for the story!!!
Author Reply: I've had a couple of other reviewers ask me to write something from Legolas's POV, and it's an intriguing idea. I hadn't planned to, but there are certainly a few things I could play with on the elven end of the spectrum.
Your criticism is good, and I'll confess that I hemmed and hawed about that line for a good week before I even considered putting up the final draft of the story. It was part of the story's original conception and was one of the founding lines, so I was very much against cutting it out. Which isn't much of an excuse and I've cut out founding lines before, but this one...for some reason I REALLY wanted to keep it. So to balance it out, I did put in another "you" reference earlier in the story when Gimli explains that he came here on Legolas's behalf and then adds the words "you see." It's not as obvious as the line you caught, but I'd hoped to justify the latter line with the earlier one. I don't think it worked, but for some reason I'm ridiculously stubborn about keeping it in. I shouldn't be, because you're right. It does jar the story. And when I get around to revising it, I'll probably be removed enough that I can take it out. But for the moment...argh! I'm in complete agreement with you but I can't do anything about it. Does that make any sense? Ah well. I do thank you for pointing it out, and you're completely right in that it doesn't fit. I just hope you'll forgive me for keeping it in. I like that line too much right now to get rid of it. Forgive me?