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Stirrings of Shadow  by Fiondil 9 Review(s)
Elena TirielReviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/13/2009
A fascinating chapter!

The wraith-bane chant you created is very well-suited to the situation, and your knowledge of Sindarin is impressive.

I was especially pleased by Wídfara's presence of mind, and I loved the riddles! They were perfect....

And thank you for the link to the Exeter Book riddles; I had seen a few before, but this is a treasure trove. I have added the link to the author's notes for my WIP drabble series.

Nice work!

- Barbara

Author Reply: Thanks, Barbara. I'm delighted that you liked the wraith-bane chant and the riddles and Wídfara's role in the chapter. There are other sites beside the one I give here that have the Exeter Book riddles but this one was the first I found and therefore the one I used for both the translations and the solutions. I'm glad that it will be of use to you in your own writing.

Reviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/12/2009
This just isn't really working for me. I think I lost track of what thin plot is present several chapters back. The characters really are sort of flat, and in some cases could be carbon copies of one another. There really isn't any humor (although your own description says that 'humor abounds), and there just doesn't seem to be any joy in your writing.

It saddens me, because I think some of your stories have some potential. This, though, feels like you're plugging away at something that you long ago lost interest in out of a sense of duty rather than writing because you have a passion for your story. I hope you find your joy someday.

Author Reply: I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm even sorrier that you don't have the curtesy to leave a signed review, and I wonder what you're afraid of. Normally, it has been my practice to delete anonymous reviews without bothering to answer them since generally anonymous reviews are heavy on negative cricticism, and that's okay, but they offer no real constructive cricticism that I can use to make my writing better. I have decided to keep this one up as I wished to answer it and let others read it.

As for my writing... I cannot nor do I try to please everyone. I simply write as I feel the need to with as much care and love and passion for my craft as I can muster. Being human, I know that sometimes I miss the mark, but I hope that overall my writing is enjoyable to others. While I admit that "Stirrings" has never been my favorite story to write (I'm more interested in First Age elves than Third Age humans and this one was more or less written by request), I have always approached it with as much respect as I've approached my other stories. Had I decided I didn't want to finish writing it, for whatever reason, I would have removed it from the site with apologies to anyone who was reading it. I've always hated writers who start a story but never finish it and just leave it on the site.

And with regards to writing out of a sense of duty... in a way that is what every writer does. They write out of a sense of duty to their craft and to their readers. There are times when that sense of duty is the only thing that keeps a writer (or anyone in any type of work for that matter) going, for you can't have a fun time all the time and sometimes you just have to plug away at whatever work you are doing. You should know this even from your own experiences of everyday life. Joy may be diminished but it's always there or else you would simply stop doing whatever you were doing, especially something that's a hobby as this is for me.

If people find my writing boring or uninteresting or whatever, they really have two choices, as I see it: they can either stop reading and go elsewhere (and not bother to leave an anonymous review such as yours, the purpose of which apparently is only to make me feel bad about myself) or they can offer me constructive criticism and encouragement, letting me know that while I may have missed the mark in this instance, they still value me as a writer and want to see me become better at my craft.

I hope what I have said here will help you in the future when you feel the need to leave a comment on someone's story. Negative criticism is fine so long as it is followed by concrete constructive criticism, otherwise, it's useless to the writer.

SunnyReviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/12/2009
You can find the Edda poems in several places on the Net, if you are interested. Here are a few links:

http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/poe/index.htm
http://www.septentrionalia.net/etexts/index.php#on
http://www.cybersamurai.net/Mythology/nordic_gods/LegendsSagas/Edda/PoeticEdda/Index.htm#en
http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/14726

You can be fairly certain, when a piece of literature has seen its first millennium and is still enjoyed, that it can't be _bad_.
My greatest favorite is Þrymskviða - extremely funny!




Author Reply: Thanks for the links, Sunny. I've always been interested in the Northern mythos but they were never as readily available in translation as the Greek and Roman myths. And you are correct about enjoyment. Some stories never go out of style.

Ainu LaireReviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/12/2009
This chapter was *awesome*. It is definitely one of my favorites in this story.

I loved the riddle game! It seems that it is not only Hobbits who use such a mechanism to stall time ;) What I loved more, however, was the chanting that the three men of Numenorean lineage did. Your expertise at Tolkien's languages- and indeed the English language as well- make this story so rich. As I have told others, it is almost as if I were reading Tolkien himself.

Reading about Denethor and Thorongil, however, really makes me want to cry. Already there is a budding friendship in between them- a companionship that would have been a legend, I think, if it stuck. I can only wonder what broke it- I imagine Ecthelion's honor for the captain, Denethor's pride, and Denethor's discovery of the other man's true heritage all added up to what came to be known as a rivalry between two men who should have remained friends.

You do realize, however, that now after this adventure in Rohan is done I'm wanting to see Thorongil in Gondor (and maybe hear what happens to Gilhael, since he was not recorded about but is also a great man), and watch Denethor turn from awesome to not-awesome.

Bah, I look too forward in the future. I can't wait to see what this battle in Edoras is like, Thengel's reaction to his mother's body being used to summon a wraith, and, of course, meet the villains who summoned the wraith. Good action up ahead, I suspect!

Author Reply: Hi, Ainu Laire. I'm so glad you think this chapter awesome. Riddles are an ancient tradition and the Anglo-Saxons were well know for them, having recorded hundreds of them. Since the Rohirrim are loosely based on their culture it just seemed logical that riddles would play an important role in the lives of the people of Rohan as well and certainly Wídfara put them to good use. *grin*

Aragorn and Denethor's budding friendship here is very poignant, of course, because we know how it ends so badly. It indeed would have been a legendary friendship if jealousy had not gotten in the way.

At any rate, I really have no plans to continue this story to Gondor. I know there are others who would like to write about Aragorn's time there, but I have no real interest in it. I suspect that Gilhael will accompany Aragorn to Gondor to watch his back.

We will actually meet the person responsible for summoning the wraith in the next chapter. Thanks for your review. I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know how much you are enjoying the story.

Agape4GondorReviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/11/2009
Absolutely excellent chapter...

I loved the riddle game and the boy's courage - wow!

Riddles have always been a riddle to me *giggles* - I like Dora the Explorer's - they're easy. What color is the sun and such! LOL

Again - great chapter!

Author Reply: Thanks, Agape. I'm glad you liked this chapter and the riddles. I can never figure them out myself but I enjoy their complexities and metaphorical language.

SunnyReviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/11/2009
Widfara is in excellent company as a riddler. Bilbo would obviously be the character who would be the first to pop into the minds of those who are likely to read this. _My_ personal favorite riddlers is Gagnråd (which is Odin’s alias in Vavtrudnesmål), and Morgon of Hed, in Patricia mcKillip’s _Riddle Master_ trilogy. (I would more or less expect you to have at least a nodding acquaintance with Norse Mythology – but if you haven’t yet read McKillip’s books, go and buy them! The trilogy is a lovely and poetic piece of literature.)
So the Dúnedain (I include Denethor in this, since he is also of Númenorian descent) do the heavy lifting in getting rid of the wight. Though Widfara is in his own way essential, since he is the one who buys the others the time they need. And the riddle contest is quite in keeping with Tradition. (The Edda, in this case)

As for the wight: I am sorry to say it wasn’t able to make spiders stage a ballet around my spinal coloumn. I don’t read much of that sort of thing (horror, that is), but it doesn’t take a full-blown chtulhuoid to keep me awake at night. It just takes … attitude. And while you are a very good writer, I don’t think creepiness is your strongest point. Perhaps it is the contrast between one of my recently bought books (_Wings of Wrath_, by C S Friedman – utterly chilling, that one!) and this story. Whatever, I was only able to raise a couple of very modest goosebumps (more out of respect for the story as a whole than the inherent scariness of the thing).
Or perhaps it was a matter of viewpoint. Widfara was after all only a distraction for the wight, and was more or less a bystander in the _real_ battle here.


Author Reply: I read the "Riddle-Master of Hed" trilogy ages ago when it first was published. I'm familiar with the Eddas though I've not read them even in translation.

I really wasn't happy with the wight myself, but just couldn't seem to figure out how to make it creepier. You would think after writing Melkor in "Wars of the Valar" (now there's creepy for you!) I would have that down, but I guess I'm not into evil ghosts all that much. *grin* I think for me the focus was on Wídfara acting as a distraction with the riddles, as you say, followed by the Dúnedain fighting it on a different level. Anyway, I'll have to work on it, but I'm not all that much of a horror fan myself.

RickReviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/11/2009
I think I've missed reviewing about the last 3 or 4 chapters, but I've been reading them, because they've all been good! This story is moving right along, I'm waiting impatiently for the next development. Yay! Keep going...

Author Reply: Hi, Rick. I wondered when I hadn't seen any reviews from you for a while. I'm glad to hear that you're still reading and enjoying this story. Thanks for letting me know.

JancyReviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/11/2009
Hello Jancy here!

I wished I had more time to read your fantastic stories but at least I was able to read this one.

This is a very fascinating story. And this chapter was a great one. Wights are scary things, and I liked how you wrote this scene. The riddles added great flavor.

Hope in the future I can read more.

Author Reply: Hi, Jancy. Thanks so much for letting me know that you are reading this story and enjoying it so much. I really appreciate it. I had a lot of fun researching the riddles and choosing those that would easily fit the parameters of Middle-earth. I didn't want to make them up myself or borrow from "The Hobbit", so I went to the actual Anglo-Saxon riddles of the Exeter book. With some 90 riddles to choose from, though, it was not an easy task to find the right ones. I'm glad you found the riddles added to the chapter.

I hope you can read more in the future, too. *grin*

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 61 on 3/11/2009
Excellent! Widfara was most inventive and cool under fire; and the others did well in uttering the invocation and seeing the thing turned out of its lair. Now, to see the city won back and learn who it was who did this atrocity and see proper justice given. And I would guess that our friend Saruman is involved somehow, although none realizes it as yet.



Author Reply: Thanks, Larner. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. I spent an entire day researching the riddles and coming up with the invocation in Sindarin before I even started writing the chapter itself, which took another day to write. We will encounter the person responsible for the barrow-wight in the next chapter. Our intrepid heroes are out of the woods yet. *grin*

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