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| We Were Young Once ~ II by Conquistadora | 165 Review(s) |
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| Redheredh | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 9/25/2005 |
| Yay! A new chapter! And a fun one too, full of verve. :D Gosh, even your not best is a pleasure to read. I liked Thrandruil's comment about "Vanish we might". I hope they are still happily dwelling there even in our day and age. With "No room for regrets." The Silvan are a delightful people. I hope the new nobility do not discover too soon how truculent they can be. ;) I wonder if there are some 'free living' proponants or Avari-types that must be dealt with as well. Brilthor has got to be in a tough position. Thrandruil noticing the many children was telling. And thinking he was past youthful excitement was too. Oropher did a great job preparing the way for his family. Although I am surprised you have them living in a tree-city, it's very nice what you've done with it. Amon Lasgalen indeed! Just because I am interested in Amdir, will he be showing up in this story? That would be interesting, meeting the neighbors. Good entertaining stuff. Thanks for updating. Author Reply: Glad you liked it. ^_^ Finishing it was like pulling teeth, but I think I'm getting back in the game now after "new semester" shock. I thought about building sort of Rivendell-like halls up there, but a tree-city seemed more in keeping with the Silvan people. And I imagine Oropher would like to adopt as many of their native ways as he comfortably could. And Brilthor has indeed been in a tough position, which Oropher has now inherited. The people are all excited about the new idea of having a king, but they want to be united while still retaining much of their original independence. It will be an interesting political arrangement. I'm really going to try to bring Amdir in somewhere, just because it irks me to leave people out. We shall see. Anyhow, back to work I go. ;) | |
| TithenFeredir | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 9/24/2005 |
| You said you didn't think this was your best work, but I thorough;y enjoyed it. This chapter was very visual for me. It was lovely to be introduced to a seemingly pristine Eryn Galen before it was marred by all the difficult times that lay ahead. I liked the peace of the forest compared to the "festering cares on the western shore". Thranduil's noticing the informality of the wood-elves was a nice touch. The description of Oropher's halls amid the beech trees was excellent. It created a feeling of wonder and excitment. I really liked the idea that Oropher had planted the trees for his residence. No wonder he was away so long! For me this chapter was a very vivid picture with a strong feeling of the distant past. I think it was very well done. ~TF Author Reply: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. ^_^ What I need to do is let it sit until the weekend (after I write my Sir Gawain paper) and hopefully be inspired to finish it. I have so much more I could say if only I could scrape up the umph to put it down. I think I will, given the time. But now I'm rambling. Ai, me. ;) | |
| Jay Greenleaf Elf | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 9/24/2005 |
| Hey, wow, they finally managed to make it to Eryn Galen. I love your descriptive details of the realm. I think it must be strange for the woodland folk to have a king to rule, since they never really had a ruler. They probably had a lord or something but never a king. And it must be strange for Thranduil to take on a new role of prince, I think Oropher is quite used to it since he spent a good number of years there. I really hope that you will update really soon so that I can found out what happens at the coronation and stuff. Anyway, bye for now, and did I mention that I love this story. I LOVE IT!!!! Author Reply: Yes, we made it. ^_^ I'll try not to drag around too much with the next chapter, but it's competing with St. Thomas Aquinas and Chaucer for brain energy. Hopefully we'll get into some really interesting stuff next time. See you then. ;) | |
| elliska | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 9/23/2005 |
| A wonderful chapter! I loved seeing Thranduil's reaction and thoughts on coming into the forest for the first time and I loved the home that Oropher had established. And I loved the Silvan--I think they seemed exactly perfect. I thought this was great and I was very glad to see it. Author Reply: I was very glad just to get that much posted. Things slow down too much when school starts. :( But anyhow, I'm about to have a free Saturday this week, so I'll see if I can work some sort of miracle with the next installment. It's great to finally be in Greenwood! ^_^ | |
| ponypetter | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 9/23/2005 |
| I love the description of the palace. I always wondered what Oropher's home would have been like. Little as we know of Thranduil's halls, we know nothing about the area where Oropher settled. It was an abrupt ending to the excitement. I think this must be your shortest chapter yet. I was probably as excited as Thranduil when the chapter ended. Author Reply: Yes, many apologies for the abrupt ending. *blush* It's awful, but I had to post something to let the world know I'm still a viable player. But it's botherting me now, so like as not this chapter will see a considerable edit and revision by the time the next one is posted. So, be on the lookout. ;) | |
| J.G.E | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/16/2005 |
| Wow, its been a long time hasn't it? I totally enjoyed the action and I hope that more will come. You must please update soon before I start going through withdrawal lol. The last part in the snow was really enjoyable, I could easily picture the whole scene, you would never say that they just came out of a fierce battle with the orcs would you? Once again I applaude you for the great job. Till next time, toodle pip Author Reply: Well, I'll try to update, but you'll have to take it up with my professors. ;) | |
| Redheredh | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/3/2005 |
| Well, on with chapter 2 then. And I’m glad you don’t find my nitpicking all that annoying. ;) So I’ll get one niggling thing out of the way right off. Oropherionath means the Oropher's Sons. Oropherwaith means the Oropher's Folk. There are times one term is more appropriate than the other. Thranduil’s experience and assessment of mountains was very interesting and subtly thrilling. Recalling the reason for Caradhras’ name was a nice touch. I would not be surprised if the place they stopped was a usual layover point. Only there would have been evidence of that, I think. Just as they had left evidence behind. Actually, you did not mention evidence of any previous travelers, which considering the worn use of the trail should have been as much a sign of trouble as bones littering the ground. Hmm, they went without a local guide too. So, I assume that Oropher crossed here going back west and not at the High Pass further north. Which explains unexpected Ost-in-Edhil. Nogothrim – another interesting and less used term. Naugrim is more commonly used by the Sindar, for its connotations, I guess. When I first read Thranduil’s description of orcs, I thought he was toning it down for Lin’s sake. Only they would indeed be the stunted goblin variety that dared not come out into the sun. Exactly the kind that would have infested the Misty Mountains since the time of the Great Journey, and probably not the more horrendous breed sent against the Eldar from Angband and later from Mordor. Oropher and company would have expected the worst kind if there were no description forthcoming from Celebrimbor or Celeborn. So, our assumptions about orcs are not the same. For the story though, it worked very well that everyone including the Silvan, who might not have seen any for quite some time, thought they were all exterminated. The way you used Galadhmir’s restlessness put me on pins-and-needles. You just had to be setting up for an attack. His and Thranduil’s tense discussion, culminating in Thranduil’s continued need for denial being swept away, was excellent. Your description of the raid was excellent too. So glad Lin was trained and prepared to fight. Still, it was an absolutely frightening experience being violently overwhelmed by vicious vermin. Starving rats might have been easier to face. Then Yay! Thranduil to the rescue! Him showing his wilder side was cool. I am ready to believe the raid ended because the moon was coming out and not because of the elves’ resistance. Very nice coverage of the aftermath. You personalized that as much as the attack on Lin. I could feel everyone still shaking. So, this bold goblin troop did not carry poisoned blades. Thank goodness again. But, next time? Being filthy is not any civilized person’s preference, especially with this awful smell. A very realistic touch and also the later icy remedy for it. If my prayers carry weight before the Valar, there will never be a need. Hah! Faith not shaken yet? Lin has got to know the Valar don’t listen much to what the Umanyar say. I was very much reminded of wagons crossing the prairie leaving non-essential items behind on the trail. But, I don’t know that discarding the fur throw was such a good decision. It woudl be marvelous if someday a their things are found again by one of their children. I can see the Fellowship finding the fur blanket just when they needed it, assuming it would stay preserved by elf magic of some sort. The discussion over the sketchbook was very enlightening. Techy – oh, another delightful word! I love old-fashioned words. :) Please keep them coming. Lin’s observation about Thranduil’s gut judgements was right on. But, a wood-elf needs good instincts and a trustworthy intuition. So, the snow was an answered prayer. I stand corrected about the Valar. ;D Sic’em Argeleb! But, this is only a respite. *sigh* Good chapter. Author Reply: Regarding "Oropherionath": yes, I know it means "the sons of Oropher," but that's really the sort of implication I was looking for, rather than the "folk of Oropher". "Folk" doesn't seem to convey the sense of a tight-knit family as well. Granted, there were others along to justify the broader term in that case, but to be perfectly honest I had forgotten about them for that one split second. So, yeah, it makes sense in my mind, but I suppose it does look a bit strange in this instance. Regarding the fur: that particular bit is subject to change with later revisions, or whenever an inspired thought comes to me. ;) I knew I wanted to mention at least one more item there to make a nice list of three, but for the life of me I could not come up with that last thing he would have brought in the first place and yet be willing to part with. I guess I shouldn't wear out my brain this way right before the semester starts. ;) | |
| Redheredh | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/2/2005 |
| Oh dear, I know I am really late with this review, but I have been off-line a while. Wow, what a great - big - first chapter! Actually, you could have done this as two short chapters. But, I ain't complaining by no means! And I really like the quotes you choose to set the mood. Hmm, I think I'll just remark on some of the notations I made as I read through. The story is simply wonderful. I like your characterizations very much. Most of what I have to say are just stupid nitpicks and imho... like... Ered Hithaeglir should be just Hithaeglir. Yeah, it's a ridiculous thing to even mention. But heaven knows, I get obsessive over the insignificant details - and then blow it on the big stuff. *sigh* definitely imho, Ost-in-Edhil was not that close to Redhorn Pass, rather south of where it and the West Gate of Moria will be. Probably where the Sirannon flowed into the Glanduin, over two-days' ride away. You make me curious when you figure Celeborn and Galadriel were vassels in Harlindon if they were in Nenuial then went to Ost-in-Edhil. Perhaps after the destruction of Eregion? I yet take them one at a time. Thranduil being able to judge the Noldor as individuals will, I think, help him deal with the dwarves later when he has to. The whole scene with the young herald was wonderfully entertaining! The writing was responsible - as it should! - for creating such enjoyment. I will chalk up the less then adequate titles and formalities to the herald's youth. Celeborn would not claim to be of Beleriand, but a more defined affiliation, such as Doriath or Nenuial. Celebrimbor more like Galadriel. And only because it is a more formal title, I would expect Oropher Aran. Even though Adar Oropher is best said just like that. Thranduil's powers of observation telling him that dwarves were present in the city was great. His reaction were great too. However, I don't know that the Doriathrim were that unfamiliar with the Naugrim. They worked for the Sindar a long time first creating arms and then palaces for them. The elves would have perhaps disdained the dwarves and that was a reason for Thingol being victimized so easily. After that, there would have been reason to actually hate and not suffer the presence of the Stunted Folk. I fancy that you meant this Merethrond to be the one the later Merethrond was fashioned after. Thranduil and Lindoriel are incredible together. I dread her leaving him. So lovely to see Amroth again and a young ellon! The cousins' relationship is very endearing. They conversation and joking around so much fun to listen to. Amroth shows some aplomb by his introduction of Thranduil as Prince when it has only been claimed and not yet openly proclaimed. Somebody in Eregion realized what had taken place even in their midst, it seems. Once again, Thranduil's situation with the dwarves resembles that with the Finarfinionath. Can he deal fairly with those who did not kill his kin? His meeting with Nordri was very interesting. I like the cautionary lessons Thranduil is constantly forced to remember. Very nice that you used the term Gonnhirrim. Very few people ever do, even those that write Gimili stories. Ai, Belain! Ye Gods! I absolutely loved that! I really like that his people would continue to honor Elu Thingol even though our princes are ascending and he and all his greatness are gone. When I read this section I bounced in my chair, it is so close to where I am going in my own vision of new kings. It was strange to hear Oropher refer to the Lords of Eregion as 'new lords' and caution friendship with them. I mean, he and his are just the same as they. But, perhaps he would not see it that way. The dispensing of the crowns was another great moment so very well described and staged. I do so enjoy your writing style. I am not quite sure what you are going for with the 'Amon Lasgalen' term. I mean the Lasgalen part makes sense... Celebrimbor was very arrogant and difficult to pin down just from this encounter. You show Galadriel in the kind of light necessary for both Oropher and Thranduil to want to avoid her. That everyone was unaware of the other groups plans and movements was not so odd as it would be in our connected world. You made the revelation of the re-infestation of goblins (the ones that appear in chapter two certainly were not the caliber of Morgoth's orcs in Beleriand) very ominous and surprising. But by this time, how can anyone be surprised with the neglect of the Valar? They have muffed before and the Sindar had to get metal weapons from the dwarves to fight the left-overs of Melkor. The traces have been too plain to be misread. There have been no sightings and no one sent to confirm? Or did they not come back? *shiver* I like your use of Lords of the West, but got confused with Armies of the West. That was a term used in the Third Age, not the First or Second. Thranduil's restlessness and his reasons are conveyed very nicely. I like the revealing conversation with Coriel. I especially like that she is a mature woman that is not maternal to Thranduil. She is easy to identify with. I promise I will make it worth your while. Oh, I know this story certainly shall be. Well, I will get to reviewing chapter 2 soon, I hope. And I also hope you don't mind that I will. ;) Author Reply: Oh, goodness! Well, let's see . . . starting from the top: Regarding Ered Hithaeglir: gee, I guess you're right. I'll watch out for that. ;) Ah, you have discovered me. I'm still incredibly fuzzy on everything about Celeborn and Galadriel despite my attempts to research the subject. I did reread the applicable parts of Unfinished Tales for this chapter just to try and make some sense of it all. And as far as titles go, I really can't wait to get into Greenwood where formality among the Silvan Elves can be more easily fudged. ;) Regarding the "new lords" of Eregion: they were new to Oropher insofar as they weren't there when he had passed through the first time. He still regards his as the prior claim in that part of the world, so the others are "newer" than he is. Also, by this point he's not too keen on encouraging close alliances with anyone, much less with Dwarves and Noldor. "Amon Lasgalen" is a more personable fanon name I bestowed on Amon Lanc as the place where Oropher will center his reign. Eryn Galen is the broader name of the forest as a whole, and goes without saying. ;) By "Armies of the West" I meant the Noldor and Vanyar of Aman who came with the Valar for the War of Wrath. Anyhow, there it is. But now I have to get offline and stop tying up the phone. Certainly, feel free to review chapter 2. ;) | |
| ponypetter | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/1/2005 |
| Excellent fight scene. I like how we see a side of Thranduil that you haven't really gotten to show before. Author Reply: It's a side we'll probably be seeing a lot of later. ^_^ | |
| Ginger Rich | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/1/2005 |
| I don't see why Lindóriel thinks Thranduil's appearance after the battle with the orcs is gross. He's grimy, but isn't that supposed to be hot? ... sorry, just a thought. dirty Thranduil = not bad, in my book. haha. Anyways, good chapter. I was glad to see Oropher not be too over powering and relax by the end of it. He needs to lighten up sometimes. At times, it seems like he has a stick stuck up somewhere, if ya know what I mean. But, oh well. I guess that's him. At least that's how I imagined him. Strong yet bullheaded. Okay. I'm done. Great jorb again. Author Reply: I think Lindoriel prefers the clean look. ;) Anyhow, some grit and grime is good now and then. Oropher can be a hard case, but he's not without a sense of humor. ;) | |