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| All Those Who Wander by daw the minstrel | 31 Review(s) |
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| DJ | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/4/2005 |
| Thank you for this wonderful story. I have missed your stories and realized that I'd never told you how much I enjoyed them. When I came upon the first one, I had to go back and read all of them in sequence. And then of course I always watched for your new stories. I am glad you are back, and I wish you sucsess with the story you converted to a YA novel. Have you considered submitting the manuscript directly to publishers? Some do consider manuscripts received "over the transom." I worked for Highlights for Children for 12 years, and almost every issue carried at least one story by a new author. Their children's trade book divisions started after I left, so I'm not sure how they accept manuscripts. Thranduil talking to Elian was wonderful; I think it was good for both of them. Perhaps Thranduil should listen more the the echos of his wife's voice. Eilian promising Maltanaur that he would be more careful--so this was the start of Eilian as the respected and (reasonably) cautious warrior seen in your stories set later in time. I love little Legolas and his relationships to his family. Checking on them to make sure they're all right, sleeping with his father after he was lost, wanting Eilian to stay home. And then he goes to visit Maltanaur and tells him in no uncertian terms to take good care of Eilian. And Maltanaur plots how to use Legolas' love for Eilian to "encourage" Eilian to cooperate with Maltanaur's efforts to keep him safe. I liked the little glimpses we got of the past, such as how Eilian was assigned South so soon after he became a warrior. However I found the transitions a little awkward, not as smooth as the rest of your writing. I can't say exactly what would make them better--the only thing that comes to mind is what I've seen elsewhere. That generally starts with something like "Ithilden thought back twenty years:" and then start a new paragraph with the flashbacks in italics, and maybe indented from the rest of the text. I don't know if Chicago sets out style rules for flashbacks or not, so I don't know if the italics thing conforms to the style manual. This was another wonderful story overall. DJ Author Reply: Thank you so much for your kind words, and also for that bit about submitting to publishers directly. I've been holding off doing that until I query agents, planning on going to the publishers next. I figure if an agent rejects me and a publisher accepts, I can always go back to the agent. But if a publisher rejects me and I then get an agent, the agent can't go to that publisher. I also thought that the transitions into the flashbacks were not just awkward but not always clear, particularly since I had Eilian in two different time frames behaving somewhat similarly. That made it harder for readers to tell the timeframes apart, I think. I've really missed writing about Little Legolas. I love trying to get into his head and see what he thinks makes sense. He certainly knows who he's going to blame if things go wrong! You've made me feel better about the original fic. I'm struggling a little. | |
| Noor | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/4/2005 |
| Lovely ending Daw...it explains why Eilian went south early and why he became just a bit more sensible. So when do you start the next one?? Thanks again Noor Author Reply: Thank you, Noor. Those are exactly the threads I was trying to weave into my story arc. I enjoyed writing this story. Doing it reminded me of how much fun fanfic is. I'm working on revising a piece of original fic right now, but I'll eventually do another story. I can't seem to stay away. | |
| Socket | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/3/2005 |
| OMG, that last image of bossy little Legolas interrogating Maltanaur was just too funny! What a wonderful way to leave this story. And I loved the scene between Thranduil and Eilian -- looks like they've found a way to communicate with each other without Lorellin's presence. Thranduil did a gret job of changing his entire manner to suit his middle child. I'll bet Ithilden rarely, if ever, sees that side of their adar. Daw, your OCs are just fantastic -- every single one of them is unique and interesting. You've populated Middle-Earth in such an enjoyable manner. Thank you so much for sharing your stories with us -- I can't wait for the next one. Author Reply: I amused myself sending Legolas to set Maltanaur straight on what was expected of Eilian's guard. He's been brooding on the fact that Eilian will leave again when Maltanaur is well, and he just wants to make sure the guard is aware of how angry he'll be if Maltanaur screws up again! Thranduil made a real effort with Eilian. He planned it out ahead of time and thought about what Lorellin would have done. And he was rewarded by having his son tell him what was troubling him. Thank you so much for your kind words about my OCs. I admit to being shamelessly fond of them. I miss them when I'm not writing about them. | |
| perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/3/2005 |
| What a nice gapfiller daw! I've particularly enjoyed Maltanaur's starring in this chapter. HE understands Eilian better than his own father and it was so sweet of him to go talk with Ithilden about Eilian's potential. elian truly owes much of what he has become to this kind and caring elf. Legolas' visit to MAltanaur's house was so fun, the bossy little elfling! It took him some years to learn to appreciate Maltanaur :-) Thranduil and Eilian's strained relationship is so sad,I ringed when Elian sudenly thought that his Adar wanted him to keep his distance rom Legolas poor one, he's so unsure of his own worth in front of his Adar's eyes! And of course, I liked Ithilden's silent fight. Why can they not all stay where I can keep an eye on them? The weight of command and responsibility is terrible! Good story daw, thanks for being back Author Reply: Thank you, Perelleth. I was surprised when I got to this chapter and Maltanaur was in just about every scene. That told me how central he was to Eilian's maturation. Legolas doesn't quite appreciate that yet, I'd say! LOL. He was annoyed that the silly guard let himself get hurt so he couldn't take good care of Legolas's brother. Ithilden was learning to let go here a little. That's hard for him, I think. He likes to be in control. I've had a great time writing this. Thank you for reading it. | |
| thechevin | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/3/2005 |
| Well I am sorry but I have to start with a complaint. It was too short!!!! I so did not want it to end. I have enjoyed this little look into the lives of the family Thranduil, as ever so many riches and treats I feel as if someone has offered me apples and honey. I loved how Thranduil got his hard headed second son to talk to him and how he was able to offer him support Maltanaur is an elf and a half how fortunate that he likes being with Eilian and handles him so well. I would like to have seen him hauling Eilian off by the scruff of his neck but then that would have spoiled the story Thranduil is such a kind Adar allowing Legolas to spend the night with the warriors, it had nothing to do with his disturbed night of course As for his comments on his friend well of course it can only be Beliond But best of all was Legolas bearding Maltanaur in his den and laying down the law over care and keeping of elder brothers that really made me smile Look forward to more as soon as you are able to return to this lovely corner of Middle Earth thank you Judy Author Reply: It did turn out to be short, but it's longer than I thought it would be! At first, I thought this would be just a one chapter deal with the lost elfling, but then I decided it was a good chance to tell some of this other stuff too. I was surprised when I got to this chapter and Maltanaur was in every scene. He plays an important part in Eilian's life, I think, and thus an important part in the life of the rest of the family too. Without him, Eilian might indeed have been ruined. Not to mention dead. So Legolas knows who to talk to about taking care of Eilian, and he just wants to be sure Maltanaur understands that he'll be very angry if Maltanaur screws up again! Thanks for your kind words, Judy. | |
| The Karenator | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/3/2005 |
| “When I was your age, I had a friend whose language would set fire to the forest. He is one of the most valiant warriors I know, and I treasure his friendship, but I am not sure I would want him spending time with Legolas.” LOL! This is one of my favorite lines. Oh, Beliond will get his chance to 'improve' Legolas's vocabulary. Thranduil is talking about Beliond, isn't he? If he's not, don't tell me. Let me just be awed by this wonderful bit of foreshadowing. :>) The children playing was a sweet note. Poor Legolas isn't quite ready to let Eilian out of his sight though...even for a few seconds to fetch some feathers. Too bad that feeling is gone completely by the time Legolas is a little older and perfects the art of slipping out of the palace. Ah, the little ones grow up so soon. One day they crave your company and the next, they can't wait to dump you. Thranduil reined his anger in and did a fine job of trying to connect to Eilian. The most interesting part, I thought, was that he opened up and tried to reassure Eilian, and Eilian tried to respond in kind, but both of them still kept a small distance between them. They went as far as they could without completely resolving their issues. The issues remain, but they've both taken a step toward understanding. Cautious, but truthful. I liked that. Of course, there's a price to pay. Eilian gets the little munchkin for a bed fellow that night. LOL! And Thranduil gets his cot to himself. I loved Legolas's visit to Maltanaur. He was a riot in his mini-Thranduil role. The bossy little elfling. And shrewd Maltanaur saw a useful tool in Legolas to use with Eilian. Eilian would do anything for Legolas and Maltanaur saw an opportunity. Good for him. “Thank you for having me. I had a lovely time.” Legolas's manners were impeccable and quite amusing. Here he had shown up to lay down the elfling's law, but wrapped his visit up with a nice 'Thank you. I had a lovely time telling you to pay better attention to your job.' Too funny. The little guy's heart was in the right place. I think. Maltanaur was amused anyway. Maltanaur is an excellent 'handler' of all the House of Oropher. Wonderful story, Daw. I enjoyed it immensely. It was so good to be back in your Mirkwood. I'll look forward to another visit when time permits. Karen Author Reply: Yeah, it's Beliond. I hesitated, because it was kind of an insider joke, but I couldn't resist. Ah, the little ones grow up so soon. One day they crave your company and the next, they can't wait to dump you. Oh man, ain't it the truth. One day my son talked non-stop to me and the next I couldn't pry a word out of him. It's tricky to write about Thranduil and Eilian. Thranduil loves his son and genuinely wants to help him. And Eilian would value Thranduil's approval and needs his reassurance. But you can't fix a difficult emotional situation in a single talk. At least, that's been my experience. So they kind of hold back a little too. I hope Maltanaur told Eilian about Legolas's visit when he finally showed up. Eilian would be both amused and touched. Legolas knows who to blame when things go wrong, and it's not Eilian! Thank you for your kind words, Karen. Thank you for having me. I had a lovely time. :-) | |
| Rose Sared | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/2/2005 |
| Nah, the endlessly involving House of Oropher, I think. The ME soap opera with your favorite characters in 'Danger' in 'Love' in 'Trouble'. Hah - I am so rude, sorry, I must not tease. I hope you know it is the highlight of my day and week when you post, and I do love these tales. (...Like the wind through the leaves so the story of Mirkwood continues... cheesy music) Go on, throw things at me! (At least you will get the chance!) Rose Author Reply: LOL. I was just thinking the other day that our trip isn't so far away. I need to ask my doctor to give me some sort of knock out drops or I'll never survive the flight. Anyway, "amusing" may indeed not be quite the right adjective for the House of Oropher. Insanely rash? Testosterone poisoned? Gorgeous? :-) | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/2/2005 |
| Loved the setup for the Thranduil - Eilian heart to heart talk, with Thranduil just casually walking up and then dispatching Legolas. I could just see Eilian squirming. It was such a warm scene. Thranduil was just blunt enough to get his point across and just gentle enough to make sure Eilian heard it. Too bad they can't have more moments like that. Oh, what would be the fun in that, right? But it's nice that they had one, at least :-) Legolas is a riot. I absolutely loved his scene with Maltanaur. Maltanaur, pondering how he can use Eilian's affection for this "bossy little creature" to control him. The sly old coot. And Legolas with his Good Housekeeping "thank you, I had a lovely time." Oh, and I cracked up when Thranduil stuck Eilian with Legolas for the night. The image of Thranduil hanging off the edge of his cot was too much. Great story. Author Reply: Thranduil snuck up on Eilian. It was the only way to be sure he'd pin him down, but Eilian knows an ambush when he sees one. :-) Still Thranduil did well. He was really worried and let his concern govern his need to scold. Legolas made me laugh too. In some other stories, I've shown him and Maltanaur annoyed at one another over the topic of Eilian, and it just tickled me to show it going back this far. Legolas just put on his Thranduil face and went after the silly guard who fell down (literally) on the job. Glad you liked it, meckinock. | |
| Manderly | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/2/2005 |
| Another wonderful tale, but I am really sorry to see it end so soon! Well Thranduil and family survived their little excursion (minus blanket and all) and everyone seemed to have gained something from it. Thranduil changed his tactics with Eilian and for the better too. Eilian is certainly one who needs more of the kid glove handling rather than a gauntlet. But Thranduil's punishment was rather evil - a night spent with a squirming child in a narrow cot. I bet Eilian was probably never so glad to see the morning light. Maltanaur really is the perfect guard for Eilian. Perhaps Thranduil might learn a thing or two from this warrior if he wants to keep Eilian in line. The last scene between the bossy little elfling and the warrior was just perfect. Legolas wields more power than he can ever realize himself! Thank you for this story, Daw. I had a lovely time :)! Author Reply: They did survive. When I started this story, one of the questions I asked in my notes was if there would be a lot of external threats (how many spiders? etc) or if this was mostly about emotions, and I decided the latter. But that's the most painful kind of threat in my experience. And they did okay, even though I suspect Eilian felt like saying "orc spit" more than once during the long night in the cot! I had a lovely time LOL. Me too! | |
| Frodo3791 | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/2/2005 |
| This was a very nice wrap-up. Thranduil comforted Eilian. Ithilden was able to come home and find out that his armies were all still relatively in one piece. Maltanuar came out of his coma, and Legolas popped up at his cottage to make sure Maltanuar will never do anything so stupid like get hurt while defending his brother again. Ah... how I love happy endings. I was so glad to see you were back with this story, and I hope that you'll start a new one very soon. -Micah Author Reply: I enjoyed writing this, this last chapter in particular. Thranduil did all right with Eilian, although they'll probably be on the outs again tomorrow. But he came through when Eilian really needed him. And Legolas knows who he's going to blame if things go wrong! Maltanaur better watch his step. Thanks for the review, Frodo. | |