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| A Lesser Treason by Jay of Lasgalen | 45 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| pipinheart | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/29/2005 |
| pipinheart | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 12/29/2005 |
You have to feel sorry for Elrohir, he is troubled, and wished things could have been different. Those voices aren't a good sighn, some evil I think is trying to influence him to do something he shouldn't...He should trust his father... Nice job...Love it.. Author Reply: Poor Elrohir. Yes, he's depressed - but doesn't realise that it's the Ring doing it. Hearing voices is never a good thing! | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 12/29/2005 |
| Great ending. I don't have time to write more, but I did want to let you know I had read and enjoyed it. Author Reply: Thanks for taking the time. Any review is better than none - and I'm glad you enjoyed this. | |
| shirebound | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 12/29/2005 |
| “The enemy baited its trap, set an ambush, then attacked you,” Elrond continued "It showed me such a mixture of truth and lies that I no longer knew what was real.” What a fascinating chapter, and story. I like how Elrond used Elrohir's experience to learn everything he could about the way the Ring worked... and how they evaluated each member of the Fellowship in terms of how this "enemy" might attack them. Wonderful. Author Reply: Thank you! I think putting it in terms of a battle helped Elrohir to put things in perspective. It was a mental battle rather than physical, but he was able to analyse what it did to him - and could do to others. | |
| FirstMate | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/19/2005 |
| What a wonderful idea for a story! It's one thing to say "Yeah, the rings try to corrupt people" but it's another to actually get into the mind of someone who's struggling against it. And you do such a marvelous job of describing the internal battle Elrohir wages. It's really kind of unsettling to imagine what kind of things the ring picks up on--all the little petty disagreements, the hurt feelings, the irritations that one faces in life. It could grab onto any of those, magnify their significance, and then...you're trapped. I sure am glad there isn't some nasty ring going around in our world...I don't believe I'd want to see what weakness of mine it would choose to exploit! Anyway, I think it took a lot of strength for Elrohir to overcome its pull and I hope Elrond helps him see that. Fabulous story so far!! Author Reply: I tried to think what the Ring would be able to offer Elrohir - I don't think he'd be interested in power or glory, but would be tempted by the ability to end evil, heal all hurts, and keep his home and family safe. It was difficult to get inside Elrohir's mind to show the effect the Ring had, but I'm glad it seemed to work! | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/8/2005 |
| You really are doing a great job in showing the effect that the Ring has on Elrohir – the internal battle is quite horrifying and you create a very dizzying sense of the images rushing through his mind - and I like that you show its strength in the physical effect on him too. I thought his simple “No” when he makes the choice is very effective. It’s such a pity that he doesn’t realise that this shows how much strength and goodness is in him. Frodo’s trust in Elrohir and concern for him is a nice touch. It makes it all the more unsettling. Elladan’s reaction was done very well. He is calm and a little concerned at first but then explodes – and there seems to be an element of fear in that as well as anger and disbelief. If it can come so close to corrupting his twin, Elladan must wonder about himself, and about those with less willpower. It’s hard to see Elrohir so full of despair and self-loathing. Elladan didn’t really reject him; these thoughts must still be a remnant of the Ring’s effect. I’m glad Elladan shows his support so obviously at the end – hopefully that will ease some of Elrohir’s doubt. And yes, Elrond does need to be told. I think he might be a little saddened but while most people probably like to think they can resist the Ring, he has the wisdom to know that complacency is dangerous. I hope he can persuade his son that in his resistance he showed tremendous courage and strength – that he does not need to feel guilt or shame. This is great :-) Author Reply: :) Thanks! I'm glad you picked up the dreadful confusion and disorientation Elrohir felt from the Ring - and his final 'no' in rejecting it for good. His thoughts are still clouded, though, which is why he sees Elladan's understandable shock as a rejection. Elrond will also be rather shocked, but he will be sympathetic, and be in a position to help them both understand how the Ring can corrupt. | |
| elliska | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005 |
| Poor Elrohir. I imagine that would be a very frightening experience and one that would be difficult for him to understand or forgive himself for. I think Elrnod might have a bit more of an idea of what the power of the Ring is like and I hope he can help both the twins. I love this sort of story though--seeing the reactions of the characters and especially to something like this. I am really enjoying this. Author Reply: Elrohir's guilt, and the things he saw himself doing, are going to be difficult for him to overcome. Elladan still doesn't understand how Elrohir could fall victim to the Ring, but he's decided that this is still his brother, no matter what. Elrond is going to have some difficult persuading ahead to make them both realise that Elrohir's rejection of temptation is the vital aspect here. So glad to hear that you're enjoying this! | |
| Tithen Feredir | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005 |
| Elrohir's horror at his dark thoughts and what he almost did was heartwrenching. The ring twisted his thoughts to things so completely at odds to his true self. It had to be terrifying to almost lose himself to ultimate evil. Elladan's dismay was understandable, but it's good that he overcame it in the end because his brother really needs his support. I'm afraid Elrohir's present self-loathing is just another opening the ring can exploit. I think the hobbits, with their guileless sweetness, created a contrast that made Elrohir's near-seduction all the more scary. Good story! ~TF Author Reply: Elrohir feels dreadful now, both because of what so nearly happened, and because he listened to the Ring in the first place. And then to think he'd lost Elladan's love and support ... I'm glad you liked the hobbits. Although Frodo had a fleeting suspicion, he can't believe evil of any of the elves, and Sam's mention of supper is enough to distract him. Perhaps he doesn't realise that elves don't feel 'unwell' for no apparent reason. | |
| TithenFeredir | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 12/1/2005 |
| The thing that struck me immediately about Elrohir's musings was that they seemed uncharacteristic. Elves are not perfect, but they are described as growing wiser and fairer over time- you would think that little things like who was born first would be completely insignificant by that point in Elrohir's life and the greater issues of family, home and the fate of the world would have already been pondered at length such that much of the anguish and second-guessing would already be at least addressed if not resolved. The way you describe it, the ring must have begun its seduction the moment he set foot in Imladris and at the time of the events in this chapter Elrohir is as yet unaware that his thoughts have been significantly influenced. Then he comes into close proximity with Frodo and the whispering begins. It is so insidious and chilling. Somehow it seems more of a perversion for an elf to be affected that way than a man. It certainly magnifies the impression of what a dangerous relic the ring is and how remarkable it is that Frodo is not so quickly affected by it. *shudder* ~TF Author Reply: You're right - these thoughts are very out-of-character for Elrohir (although the 'little brother' teasing is a running theme throughout my twin stories). He's not thinking clearly at all. He knows the Ring is present in Imladris, but (a) doesn't think it will affect him, (b) thinks his depression is because Aragorn and the others are off on an adventure, and (c) doesn't want his sister to become mortal. Elrohir has influence and power simply because of who he is, and the Ring is trying to use this against him. | |
| Lianna | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005 |
| Poor Elrohir! I hope he realizes soon that the important thing is not that he was tempted, but that he resisted. And I hope Elladan realizes it, too. Somehow, I think Elrond already knows. This a really good story idea. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Author Reply: ' The important thing is not that he was tempted, but that he resisted. ' Yes - but Elrohir doesn't see it like this yet. Elrond's task will be making both his sons see it. Glad you're enjoying this! I'll post the next part when I get back from holiday. | |