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| During a journey in the dark... by Thundera Tiger | 16 Review(s) |
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| Hai Took | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/8/2004 |
| Another Chapter! How delightful! Oh dear Frodo being so frightened and his whole being glad that the doors were such but realizing it left them no option but to move forward would be more than a little frightening! You write Merry so well, hie thoughts and feelings on things! Seeing the gouges in the stone "created by something strogner than the mountains" is quite a terrifing thought! The way that they crossed the crack in the floor was inventive! I'm glad that Boromir was able to help so nicely. I guess that Legolas was seeing Gollum? In a way I hope so becasue that means there is nothing more frightening behind them! Although he can be quite the sneak. The whole bit with Bill was great! I like that you gave us a little bit of information on Bill's trip back to Rivendell, splendid! Also I must say I liked his description of Gandalf "The tall, troubled, bearded master who smelled of smoke and stars." That seems to fit him so perfectly! I am looking forward to more and hope it won't be too long! Thank you it was fun! Author Reply: My own favorite moment in the chapter is Bill's description of Gandalf, so I'm glad you liked that. I worked on that line for a bit. I was hoping to draw out a contrast between Merry's uncertainty in trusting only Gandalf and the fact that Bill seems to trust him implicitly, but I think that got lost in the shuffle. Ah well. Yes, Legolas did see Gollum, and a few other members of the Fellowship are going to see him before we're through. I figured I'd introduce him early so that we could get glimpses of him throughout. And thank you for your thoughts on Merry and Frodo. I'm fairly uncertain of their characterizations, so it helps when people see things that they like. I know to keep doing those things. | |
| nightsky | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| Wonderful to see another chapter of this story. This story has become almost canon to me. And the last part with Bill was masterful! Author Reply: Glad you liked it, and I'm very glad you liked Bill. I don't know about making this story canon, but even so, I'm flattered by the compliment. Thank you! | |
| fliewatuet | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| A wonderful chapter, as always! The last part, in particular, was rather unexpected, but a wonderful treat nonetheless. I still don't know why you worry about your ability to write from the Hobbits' POVs. You did a marvellous job, especially with Merry's keen observations about the change in his companions' behaviour. Author Reply: Thank you very much for your comments about hobbits. I'll try to be more confident when writing them, but I still feel like I can't find a balance. I feel as though I'm either overplaying or underplaying them, and the voices have always felt awkward to me. But thank you for the encouragement, and I'm very glad you like Merry. He's the hobbit I feel most comfortable writing. And if I've gotten him right, maybe I can do the same thing to the other hobbits that I did to him. | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| You know, the fact that Bill made it home safely was an enormous relief to me when I read the books. I wish I could reassure Sam now. But I was thrilled when I got to the part from Bill's POV. Words of guard and guiding indeed! I love it when magic turns up in these stories. I liked Aragorn's answer as to how old the steps were. I enjoy it when authors use canon like that to give depth to their stories and make the world of ME seem more substantial. Pippin must feel like I do when I see things like the Roman acqueducts. But the thought that elves are even older was the real "eye opener"! The rising heat is an interesting detail, like a descent into hell. I have my copy of FOTR open here and I see where you're drawing from, but you do make me see how the Fellowship might have felt on experiencing this. Author Reply: Glad you liked Bill! I always wondered how he got back to Bree after leaving the gang at Moria, but I wasn't sure I could write him convincingly. It's insanely difficult to write animals, especially when they get the POV. But I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you liked the tidbits about Moria's founding. I figured that as long as we were here, we might as well get a history lesson. ;) As for the heat, I was always disappointed that Tolkien didn't do more with it. It was very intriguing for me, so I decided to include it as a mood setter. | |
| Periantari | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| great chapter~!!! not only did you give Merry and Frodo's perspective on things, but also Bill the Pony~! what a pleasant surprise :) I thought that part was done really well. =) Thought it was detailed and right that you mentioned that Bill was going on instinct to go northwest. For me, i like hobbits so I especially liked what you wrote for Frodo. I liked this part the best: That wasn’t really an answer, Frodo thought, struggling to ignore the chill of dread that had taken up residence in his stomach. It was eerily similar to the chill of the Ring as it lay against his chest, and he shivered, earning himself a concerned look from Sam. Shaking his head quickly to reassure the gardener, he turned to his pack and swung it up on his shoulders. Maybe once they began moving again, he would feel better. A cynical voice in the back of his mind laughed at that thought. i love how you include the Ring whenever you write about Frodo.. indeed the Ring gains power as it moves closer to Mordor and i'm glad that you are careful and inclusive to write about that too. I think i saw your LJ entry previewing this story and i agree with most comments that say you write hobbits really well. I admire all your writing but i feel also that you give an authentic voice to hobbits. Your vignette on Frodo in "Currents" is one of my favorite pieces ever and i admire your view on them in "During" as well. So keep writing hobbits and this story for I like both very much. :) Good job, THundera, as always~ =) Author Reply: *beams* Glad you liked Bill. I wasn't entirely sure of his section, to be honest, but I decided to throw it to the wolves (pun partially intended) and see what they made of it. The overall result is fairly positive, so I'll mark this down as a success of sorts. Thanks for your compliments! As for Frodo and the Ring, I always wonder if I'm overdoing it with him. Because the Ring *is* a weight, but it's nothing like what he experiences when he gets near Mordor. But it seems to me that at this point, he should be...aware of it. Moreso than before. It's not yet wearisome or taxing, but it is there, so I try to include it. I'm ecstatic that you noticed, and even more elated at the fact that you approve. So thank you for that! And I'll try to keep writing hobbits, though in truth, they scare me more than any other member of the Fellowship does. | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| Let's see. What would be the better thing to do, leave you a review or continue working on my annotated bibliography about The Rite of Spring? Well, I've listed seven sources. I deserve a break. The absolutely best thing about this chapter was, of course, the ending with What Happened To Bill The Pony. There's action and drama, all within a very equine viewpoint. Bill ends up as such a sympathetic character, and you can just feel the blessing hovering over his pony head even without the constant verbal reminders. I don't think I've ever read what happened to Bill right after he left them, and it was a lovely surprise to see it there. On to our two-legged friends. Frodo comes off nicely, as a guy who is just beginning to get over the shock of starting out on the Quest and is starting to appreciate what his reality has become. He's starting to get to know those of his companions he didn't know before, and he's starting to interpret their body language. As he gets more accustomed to his companions and his situation, he can really start to see his surroundings, and of course what one can see of Moria in the dim light is worth looking at. The hobbits become Middle-earth's first tourists. Raise your hand if you're surprised. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Before we leave the subject of hobbits, I would like to take the time to say that I was always most impressed with them for jumping the seven-foot cracks. Fear does lend wings to the feet, but still, jumping twice your body length is no mean thing. I'm just under five and a half feet tall, and I can't imagine jumping eleven feet of distance. It seems that having a tense-as-piano-wire Wood-elf around might be a sign to the Company that All Is Not Well. But Legolas can't be very specific in his warnings -- he doesn't know that there is a Balrog, and he probably wouldn't be able to identify it immediately, having never experienced one before (it seems to have taken him a few moments on the Bridge of Khazad-Dum to put two and two together) -- and they don't have time to deal with non-specifics of "something bad is out there" when there is a dark treacherous maze to be navigated by three people who each kinda sorta know their way around. Author Reply: Oooo...I take precedence over an annotated bibliography! And one about the "Rite of Spring," no less. Does that make me more important than Stravinsky? ;) Writing Bill was stepping out onto a huge limb for me. I couldn't decide how smart to make him or how aware of surroundings and events he should be. I'm not entirely sure what the end result is, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. As for the hobbits, I can just see them heading back to the Shire and setting up travel packages for Moria and surrounding areas. Minus the seven foot cracks, of course (which they'll end up jumping next chapter). As for the high-strung elf, I think the Fellowship is already aware that All Is Not Well. But like Legolas, they don't know exactly what's wrong and even if they did, there's not a lot they could do about it. But I love your description of their situation with "three people who each kinda sorta know their way around." That made me laugh! | |