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| During a journey in the dark... by Thundera Tiger | 72 Review(s) |
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| fliewatuet | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| A wonderful chapter, as always! The last part, in particular, was rather unexpected, but a wonderful treat nonetheless. I still don't know why you worry about your ability to write from the Hobbits' POVs. You did a marvellous job, especially with Merry's keen observations about the change in his companions' behaviour. Author Reply: Thank you very much for your comments about hobbits. I'll try to be more confident when writing them, but I still feel like I can't find a balance. I feel as though I'm either overplaying or underplaying them, and the voices have always felt awkward to me. But thank you for the encouragement, and I'm very glad you like Merry. He's the hobbit I feel most comfortable writing. And if I've gotten him right, maybe I can do the same thing to the other hobbits that I did to him. | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| You know, the fact that Bill made it home safely was an enormous relief to me when I read the books. I wish I could reassure Sam now. But I was thrilled when I got to the part from Bill's POV. Words of guard and guiding indeed! I love it when magic turns up in these stories. I liked Aragorn's answer as to how old the steps were. I enjoy it when authors use canon like that to give depth to their stories and make the world of ME seem more substantial. Pippin must feel like I do when I see things like the Roman acqueducts. But the thought that elves are even older was the real "eye opener"! The rising heat is an interesting detail, like a descent into hell. I have my copy of FOTR open here and I see where you're drawing from, but you do make me see how the Fellowship might have felt on experiencing this. Author Reply: Glad you liked Bill! I always wondered how he got back to Bree after leaving the gang at Moria, but I wasn't sure I could write him convincingly. It's insanely difficult to write animals, especially when they get the POV. But I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you liked the tidbits about Moria's founding. I figured that as long as we were here, we might as well get a history lesson. ;) As for the heat, I was always disappointed that Tolkien didn't do more with it. It was very intriguing for me, so I decided to include it as a mood setter. | |
| Periantari | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| great chapter~!!! not only did you give Merry and Frodo's perspective on things, but also Bill the Pony~! what a pleasant surprise :) I thought that part was done really well. =) Thought it was detailed and right that you mentioned that Bill was going on instinct to go northwest. For me, i like hobbits so I especially liked what you wrote for Frodo. I liked this part the best: That wasn’t really an answer, Frodo thought, struggling to ignore the chill of dread that had taken up residence in his stomach. It was eerily similar to the chill of the Ring as it lay against his chest, and he shivered, earning himself a concerned look from Sam. Shaking his head quickly to reassure the gardener, he turned to his pack and swung it up on his shoulders. Maybe once they began moving again, he would feel better. A cynical voice in the back of his mind laughed at that thought. i love how you include the Ring whenever you write about Frodo.. indeed the Ring gains power as it moves closer to Mordor and i'm glad that you are careful and inclusive to write about that too. I think i saw your LJ entry previewing this story and i agree with most comments that say you write hobbits really well. I admire all your writing but i feel also that you give an authentic voice to hobbits. Your vignette on Frodo in "Currents" is one of my favorite pieces ever and i admire your view on them in "During" as well. So keep writing hobbits and this story for I like both very much. :) Good job, THundera, as always~ =) Author Reply: *beams* Glad you liked Bill. I wasn't entirely sure of his section, to be honest, but I decided to throw it to the wolves (pun partially intended) and see what they made of it. The overall result is fairly positive, so I'll mark this down as a success of sorts. Thanks for your compliments! As for Frodo and the Ring, I always wonder if I'm overdoing it with him. Because the Ring *is* a weight, but it's nothing like what he experiences when he gets near Mordor. But it seems to me that at this point, he should be...aware of it. Moreso than before. It's not yet wearisome or taxing, but it is there, so I try to include it. I'm ecstatic that you noticed, and even more elated at the fact that you approve. So thank you for that! And I'll try to keep writing hobbits, though in truth, they scare me more than any other member of the Fellowship does. | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/7/2004 |
| Let's see. What would be the better thing to do, leave you a review or continue working on my annotated bibliography about The Rite of Spring? Well, I've listed seven sources. I deserve a break. The absolutely best thing about this chapter was, of course, the ending with What Happened To Bill The Pony. There's action and drama, all within a very equine viewpoint. Bill ends up as such a sympathetic character, and you can just feel the blessing hovering over his pony head even without the constant verbal reminders. I don't think I've ever read what happened to Bill right after he left them, and it was a lovely surprise to see it there. On to our two-legged friends. Frodo comes off nicely, as a guy who is just beginning to get over the shock of starting out on the Quest and is starting to appreciate what his reality has become. He's starting to get to know those of his companions he didn't know before, and he's starting to interpret their body language. As he gets more accustomed to his companions and his situation, he can really start to see his surroundings, and of course what one can see of Moria in the dim light is worth looking at. The hobbits become Middle-earth's first tourists. Raise your hand if you're surprised. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Before we leave the subject of hobbits, I would like to take the time to say that I was always most impressed with them for jumping the seven-foot cracks. Fear does lend wings to the feet, but still, jumping twice your body length is no mean thing. I'm just under five and a half feet tall, and I can't imagine jumping eleven feet of distance. It seems that having a tense-as-piano-wire Wood-elf around might be a sign to the Company that All Is Not Well. But Legolas can't be very specific in his warnings -- he doesn't know that there is a Balrog, and he probably wouldn't be able to identify it immediately, having never experienced one before (it seems to have taken him a few moments on the Bridge of Khazad-Dum to put two and two together) -- and they don't have time to deal with non-specifics of "something bad is out there" when there is a dark treacherous maze to be navigated by three people who each kinda sorta know their way around. Author Reply: Oooo...I take precedence over an annotated bibliography! And one about the "Rite of Spring," no less. Does that make me more important than Stravinsky? ;) Writing Bill was stepping out onto a huge limb for me. I couldn't decide how smart to make him or how aware of surroundings and events he should be. I'm not entirely sure what the end result is, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. As for the hobbits, I can just see them heading back to the Shire and setting up travel packages for Moria and surrounding areas. Minus the seven foot cracks, of course (which they'll end up jumping next chapter). As for the high-strung elf, I think the Fellowship is already aware that All Is Not Well. But like Legolas, they don't know exactly what's wrong and even if they did, there's not a lot they could do about it. But I love your description of their situation with "three people who each kinda sorta know their way around." That made me laugh! | |
| Estel_Mi_Olor | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/25/2004 |
| Thank you for this lovely present. I just got back from my vacation and what do I find? A Thundera update of one of my favorite fics! YAY! Great chapter! Very tense, lots of suspense. I love chapters like that. You make everything so much more interesting that the original Tolkien-which I do not mean to belittle in any way. I think it's having many different perspectives instead of just one. You get a more detailed picture that way. One of my favorite parts in the chapter was Gandalf's POV about the riddle. There are so many character quirks missing! It seems so perfect though that Gandalf should go off to test his mind against others that are Wise. So Gandalf. And on this note I would like to try my hand at guessing the EVENT is... Event is either 1 of 3 possible things: 1) Legolas and Boromir going scouting. 2) Merry and Gandalf thinking of the password instead of Frodo. or 3) Legolas getting cut off from the rest of the Fellowship. Now I realize that I am only supposed to name one event...so I think it is either 1 or 3... :) Do I still get bonus points if I'm right? And I didn't look in HOME or at the end of the chapter. I'm going to do that after I send the review. Thanks again for this great chapter, Thundera. Can't wait for more! Author Reply: Glad to provide you with this "present." I'd hoped to have updated FND by now, too, but that just hasn't worked out. Within the next couple of days, though. Hopefully... I'm very glad you like the character perspectives that go into this, because really, that's the only thing making this different from a verbatim retelling of the book. And it's becoming more difficult to gives these events a unique spin because we're entering parts of the book where Tolkien spent time going into detail about what was happening. Makes it more difficult. I rather enjoyed Gandalf's POV in this chapter. I'll confess upfront that it was my favorite to write. It's definitely a more...old school Gandalf. In other words, this is Gandalf the Gray as we saw him in "The Hobbit." Subtly different from Gandalf the Gray of LotR, and VERY different from Gandalf the White. As for your event...you can't guess two! That's cheating. But #3 is the right one. In the books, Legolas was with the rest of the Fellowship when the Watcher attacked, but in HOME, he was off wandering the lake shore and had to jump over the tentacles to get back. #1 was my own addition, but as it doesn't directly contradict anything in the books, I don't count it as a canon violation. #2 *is* canon because in the books it's Merry who spots the clue on the door (though he doesn't realize that's what he sees) and Gandalf who solves the rest of the riddle. That part always bothered me in the movies. What was up with Frodo thinking of the password? It was Gandalf and Merry! Sheesh! So...partial bonus points for you because you cheated and went for two events. | |
| Ariel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/4/2004 |
| Nicely paced and balanced - a surprisingly interesting read for such familiar territory. I have heard such works referred to as a 'retelling of the story' but no one who had read these fascinating pieces could consider your stories merely retelling. You bring forth plausible thoughts and POVs without going off on bizarre, self-serving tangents. You serve Tolkien's story, and I admire anyone who has that kind of respect for the work. Bravo. A very rewarding read. Author Reply: Thank you so much! I'm often terrified that I've fallen into the trap of "retelling," and at the same time, I'm terrified that I've wandered too far away from canon in an effort to avoid said "retelling." Balance is hard to achieve, and there are a few sections already that make me wince a bit. But thank you so much for your vote of confidence. Your words mean much, and it gives me encouragement that I'm not just regurgitating what's already been written. Thank you again! | |
| Hai Took | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/4/2004 |
| Wonderful! Another chapter! Aragorn's unease about entering Moria was very good! Because of his foresight he would know that something terribel waitst hem but the way you wrote him still seeming so calm to those around him, save Legolas, was very in character for him! Pippin's thoughts and wavering faith in Gandalf's ability to get them in through Moria is a very real though. For this is perhaps the first time the hobbits have seen Gandalf come up against something and not be able to overcome in right away! I love they way you stick to the books, please continue to do so! Adding bits from the original manuscripts is neat as well! I like that you still included that it was Merry who was on the right track! I can't wait for more, and I will try to be patient ;) Looking forward to more! Author Reply: Thank you very much! It was my opinion that Aragorn's unease was underplayed in the books, but then, none of the characters really got a chance to voice their feelings when they entered the mines. I actually debated about making Pippin seem like the doubting noe (I made Merry agree with him so he'd have company) but as you put it, this is the first time the hobbits have seen Gandalf falter. Granted that he doesn't falter for very long, but cnosidering their situation, it had to be something of a tension builder. Anyway, thanks so much for the review! I'll work on the next chapter for you! | |
| Kitt of Lindon | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/30/2004 |
| What can I say? In FotR, this was one of my favorite parts and I am pleased to see you have done it justice. You made the characters of Aragorn and Gandalf brilliantly clear when you used their POV. I absolutly love that you put Legolas' little scene at the end. I agree that it makes it more exciting. The first time after I read it in HoMe, I kept wondering why Tolkien would not have included it. (especially for the reason that it gave Legolas a scene as he is rarely mentioned at all) Ah well, it made my day to see that. :) Author Reply: I also wondered why Legolas's little jump over the tentacles wasn't in the final version. I think it was marked to go into the third draft but didn't. Either that or I'm getting it mixed up with Legolas's wounding on the bridge. I'll have to recheck that later. Anyway, I thought it added a bit of drama to the scene, and it was good for keeping up the tension, which sags somewhat after the Warg fight. Anyway, thanks so much for your compliments! | |
| Elwen | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/30/2004 |
| I am continualy surprised by the depth of your knowledge and research. But what I like most about that is that you use it to craft the story . . . rather than using the story to display your skill. You gave us a lovely dip into many of the Fellowship's minds here too, building the tension and unease by describing in detail their reactions to the place. I don't mind if you write in book or movie version. Both are valid. But I admire your strength of will in trying to stick to book version. Author Reply: Wow. I think that's quite possibly the best compliment anyone has ever given me. Thank you! I'm frequently concerned that research and details overwhelm the story, so I try to tone them down as much as possible. I'm glad you think it's working. That makes me much more comfortable about these kind of things. Not *too* comfortable, of course, because that can be dangerous. But the pressure is eased a bit. Thank you very much! | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/30/2004 |
| I liked the way you showed the experience of the four warriors through things such as Aragorn's and Gimli's ability to go through the packs and sort out unneeded items quickly. Actually, I think what I like about that scene in particular is that it's Gimli and Aragorn. Gimli is usually neglected in fanfic in general, so having him and Aragorn shown as trusting one another's knowledge and working together was an attractive image. I also liked the idea of Gandalf enjoying games and puzzles, even (especially?)dangerous ones. And Gandalf's reasoning about the inscriptions was interesting to read. He sees that Merry got to the right part right away! And he thinks of Boromir as innocent. That was striking. Nice instantiation of Sam having to choose between Bill and Frodo when the Watcher grabs Frodo. Author Reply: The neglect of Gimli is something that really irks me about fanfiction. Not all fanfiction, of course, because there are some extremely talented writers out there who are amazing at writing the dwarf. But by and large, he's a very forgotten character. Which is a shame, because he's such an intriguing, complex character. Gandalf's love of "dangerous games" was one of my favorite parts of this chapter. I hesitated when including it, but then I started thinking about "The Hobbit" and just what he got himself into in that particular story. And as Gandalf the *Gray*, he was something of a risk taker. Gandalf the White was, too, but he didn't seem to enjoy it as much as the old version. As for the innocence of Boromir, it's my personal theory that innocence is what the Ring preyed upon. Boromir only wanted to help his people. It was an innocent desire that the Ring twisted, and compounded with general ignorance, it pulled Boromir into its clutches. | |