News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
| About Us News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
|
| Beyond The Dimrill Gate by Jay of Lasgalen | 19 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/11/2006 |
| You can just see how young Aragorn is, can't you! 'I'm going this way' - and he immediately expects his nursemaids to follow behind him, hands outstretched to stop him tripping. I can see that this adventure is going to be a Growing Experience in the Dangers of the Outside World. And that the learning is starting straight away! I like the glowing algae - it seems an indication of intelligent use of resources by the dwarves and I reckon that, only once underground, would the other inhabitants of Middle-earth really begin to understand the strength of a remarkable people. Elladan and Elrohir must be ... extremely stressed at the disappearance of their charge. I'll be surprised if they don't put him on leading strings - always assuming they managed to retrieve him relatively undamaged. More soon - you can't leave the heir of Isildur in such a perilous position ... oh ... wait ... you can, can't you! Author Reply: I think I may be making Estel seem a little too young, but one thing is certain - he's going to grow up fast, and is going to impress his brothers with the way he handles the various crises heading their way. 'Extremely stressed'? Hmmm, that's one way of putting it ... | |
| nessa | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/10/2006 |
| Yikes, what a place to leave us!Estel does have a penchant for getting into trouble. You should write him more, you do it very well. Can't wait to see what the orcs have planned. Author Reply: Thank you! I find it more difficult to write Estel than I do the twins, so I'm glad you like him. What have the orcs got planned? Estel is finding out as I write the next chapter! | |
| TithenFeredir | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/10/2006 |
| Good heavens! There is such tension in this part, not just from the danger of being caught by the orcs or that greater peril they can sense, but the dark, slimy, gritty, crumbling, claustrophobic tunnels. I was thinking the whole time that they had better be keeping track of their route--now Estel is separated and has been found by the orcs. I wonder if he will be able to escape them and not get turned around in the dark. And if he does, they may sound the alarm and get the whole place hunting for the guys. Looking forward to the next! ~TF Author Reply: None of them are lost yet, but there is still a lot of Moria to search. And of course if they all get separated, things could get worse ;) Neither the twins nor Estel are particularly bothered by being in the caves, but they are aware the whole time of how dangerous it is down there. There's the risk of getting lost, the risk of being discovered by orcs (or something worse) and the risk of the tunnels collapsing. The claustrophobic atmosphere is making them all tense and jumpy. | |
| Elfinabottle | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/9/2006 |
| You've got me on the edge of my seat! This is wonderful. Next chapter please. Author Reply: I'm glad you're enjoying this! There's more tension and drama to come, and I'm writimg the next chapter as fast as I can. | |
| hanci | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/9/2006 |
| Was it Pratchett who wrote that caves and such are always lit by fluorescent algae or eerie light from nowhere, just in case a human hero entered and needed to look around? But your explanation makes sense. Dwarves also needed to see, no? It makes me think of the RPGs we played. Ow, I thought they were after the twins, but it seems it's Estel who is in trouble. He really shouldn't have wandered off like a kid on an excursion... Can't wait for more! Author Reply: I've not read that, but it sounds like something Terry Pratchett would write! The algae will be useful, but I didn't want to just invent it without an explanation of how it came to be there. Estel is going to really regret wandering off - and the twins won't be happy, either. | |
| Fire | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/9/2006 |
| You really are writing pretty spooky stuf here, but than again Moria is pretty a spooky place to see. And i can imaging the orcs thinking of Estel as an elf. he lives with them so he must smell like them. Can't wait for the orcs to find out he's human ;) and than to find out there's two more real elves about. (grin) Author Reply: Spooky is good - there must be a fairly creepy atmosphere in Moria. All those dark, narrow tunnels ... I wouldn't fancy it! When the orcs smell 'elf' they smell all three, not just Estel. And presumably the twins would have a whiff of 'human' about them, as well. | |
| viggomaniac | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/8/2006 |
| Sufferin' succotash! What a great chapter. Yes, I saw that you prefer elves but I must admit the beginning of this story has me thoroughly drawn in due to the Estel angle. The algae thing was great. I'd read that before but it's a nice touch to your chapter. I daresay young Estel is about to have a potentially bad experience. If not him, then, the twins, but I'm betting on Estel or maybe all of them. So far, the odds are in Estel's favor (depending on which side you're betting on). I love fics that explore that which was spoken of but not enriched upon. I enjoyed the part when Estel is imagining 'bony, grasping hands reaching out from the walls to grab him..." Not too far off the mark as it turns out. And we all know that orcs have no consciences. When I review I like to comment on one or two specific things I enjoyed. So here goes: specifically liked the wording regarding the orcs' singing: "and harsh voices raised in a discordant parody of song." Kind of like me in the shower, I'd wager. Anyways, great start and I'm most anxious to read more. Thanks for sharing. Author Reply: From your name, I guess you prefer Estel? They're all going to have a bad time sooner or later - I do love angst! And there is so much Tolkien didn't tell us - it's why I love reading and writing fanfic, to fill in the gaps. Tolkien wrote a poem about the Mewlips - and I think I had them in mind when I wrote the 'bony, grasping hands'. I'm glad you liked the description of the orcs' 'singing' - I tried to make readers hear how unpleasant it is (and it's even worse than my husband's singing!! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/8/2006 |
| I cannot even imagine the horrors of the dark of Moria. Estel has to be scared, this is way beyond his experience. I think he's about to find out just how uptight he can make his brothers. Author Reply: By the time the three are reunited, Estel is going to be even more scared - and the twins are not going to be pleased with him. Poor Estel - in a dark, narrow tunnel, with a crumbling roof - and he's just discovered that his brothers aren't behind him as he thought. And now there's orcs ... | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/8/2006 |
| The algae stuff was very clever, Jay. Looks like things are going from bad to worse in Moria. Estel is about to develop some new confidence and skills, I'd say, but not painlessly! Author Reply: The algae will be very useful later on, when things start to get really bad for them :>) Estel achieves 'great deeds', remember - but you can see why I need that 'where the hell ...' line later on! | |