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| To See A World by Nightwing | 776 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Avon | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 10/4/2003 |
| Poor Legolas! I like the cat and I like all the little descriptive details. I love the Orlando's wardroe explanation of the blindness. Cute as he is the boy shouldn't be allowed to dress himself - or do his own hair. Um, you've had a formatting problem or something btw - the whole thing appears twice, one after the other. One minor suggestion - please ignore if you don't want beta-level feedback - I think you need to use their names more often and not use name substitutes (the ranger, the fair Prince etc) as much. IMO it detracts from the story. Cheers, Avon | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 9/26/2003 |
| Love your story, and thank God there's somebody else here who wore bell-bottoms the first time around. | |
| Heiwen | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 9/24/2003 |
| ....I just love it as ever....!!! What a good mix of humor and fear....! I think one can tell you were sick...I just know the feeling from Legolas longing to clean is teeth after being not able to move for a long time...lol...I almost had the taste in my mouth while reading!!! I love the way you discribe how Legolas is tracking Aragorn in the small cottage...is is very sensible, with a pinch of humor! ....sniff....runs for kleenex...that is so special how Legolas fights to say thanks....sniff! Oh and how can you put my ranger through so much stress....softly whispering with much fear while telling Legolas that he is blind...!!! I think I have to join the redhaired whitch to rescue the elf and the ranger...do you think Tom Bomabil would also watch my kids while we are on our mission?? | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 9/23/2003 |
| This was subtly done. We realize Legolas's state only when he does. Very nice. His panic seems so real, poor guy. Aragorn's plan is probably the best he could come up with and it's a sign of their desperation that they cling to it so. | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 9/23/2003 |
| Wow. You did it again, Nightwing. Another lovely chapter -- in a painful, tear at your soul, sort of way. I like the way you intermingle humor and pathos. Poor Legolas, struggling to reach consciousness, deciding that the first thing he's going to do when he can get up is clean his teeth. (Having spent much time in a sickbed myself, I can identify with the sentiment!) Legolas lying there imagining what Aragorn is doing from the sounds in the room was a nice touch too. Then the hints of pathos creep in as Legolas assumes he is always waking up at night because his sleep cycle has been disturbed. The spark of fear lights, fanned into an inferno by later confirmation. The elf is blind. Legolas' unreasoning but understandable panic, Aragorn's attempt to use his healer's training to calm himself and his patient --- you handled their reactions well, I think. Some might chide you for Legolas' reaction. I won't. Given that's he's been deathly ill for 2 weeks, feeling that he's finally out of danger, then suddenly discovering he's blind, I think Legolas' panicked reaction is fully justified. And as for Legolas and the cat ..... I have one word: purrrrfect. (Sorry, I couldn't resist. LOL) By the way, you wrote some of the funniest reviewer responses I've ever read. The red-haired witch will work just fine, thank you. Is she going to try and eat the elf and ranger like in Hansel and Gretel? LKK | |
| Avon | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 9/23/2003 |
| Sorry, I don't have anything terribly useful to say - just that I'm reading it and enjoying it. I figure even mundane feedback is better than no feedback. It's rare - IMO - to find an angsty h/c story which isn't over the top but you seem to be managing it rather well. BTW I also totally agree with you about Legolas's age and the reasons why. Avon | |
| Ithilien | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 9/18/2003 |
| Well, I think I know what murky waters Lisette may have saved you from, but I see know evidence of murk anywhere near here. So I'll just keep paddling along. No need to run for the hills. I see we are settling in for the angst factor in this story, and I am ready to get all comfy here. Another hot button for me you know -- angst. I eat it for breakfast. Well, maybe not, but I could. (Cold, with a little brown sugar sprinkled on top...yummy! But I digress...) What is with this cabin and provisions and horse and food? Wow, you really have my head spinning over who could be doing this for them. Certainly, this event was an accident. Wasn't it? I mean, everything feels comfortable and good (at least THIS part of the story does), but that no one has come back to claim anything just seems *odd*. I'm getting vibes, and I don't want to, but all of this feels eerie, sort of. But not. Friendly, kind of. Like Hansel and Gretel before the witch popped out and tried to shove them into an oven. I mean...uh, I shouldn't be worried, should I? Poor Legolas! I'm so glad to see he is showing signs of improvement, but boy, these are babysteps. The elf is a long ways off from anything nearing a recovery. Yet, they've fallen into a routine, and that is a good sign as it means Legolas has stabilized. What is Legolas wanting to tell Aragorn that he can't do in a conscious state? The curiosity is killing me. Gosh, I love the backstory here, especially the little details about the Mirkwood elves. I love how you describe them in comparison to the other realms. Very fitting. And I loved the little fight between Legolas and his brother. All over where to hang the banners? Um, these elves are a bit hot-headed, aren't they? I love it. Legolas' mother is a very special elf, isn't she? She seems not to hold prejudice, and is calm, even and eloquent. How lovely. She also seems to possess a modicum of foresight. Too bad she can't use it to prevent what is about to happen. Oh, this is so very sad. And knowing how these elves might act over hanging a banner, I can only imagine how they might react to losing a queen. Gosh, the only thing that surprises me is that Legolas is capable, after four years, of doing anything but crying into his pillow. But that would be a bit extreme, even for these elves probably. More soon, Nightwing. Such a lovely job you are doing. More. Please. | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 9/12/2003 |
| I should have posted reviews on the previous chapters. I apologize. This story has been very emotional, quite gripping. The little cottage in the woods sounds too good to be true. I worry about what's going to happen when the "owner" returns. It's almost as if the two have stumbled across a fairy tale cottage. I keep expecting the wicked witch to come home any minute. From a writing standpoint, I like how you're integrating the flashbacks with the current timeline. The transitions are very smooth and flow well. And your characterizations are wonderful. Looking forward to more! | |
| Mirari | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 9/11/2003 |
| An intriguing piece of work. This comfortable little house seems a tad eerie to me, and I can't help but wonder if Aragorn and Legolas are as safe there as the Ranger seems to presume they are. Hmm... You've definitely taken and held my interest! The characterization is bang-on for Legolas, and though Aragorn seems less experienced and more unsure than usual I am attributing that to his young age. Wonderful job, and you can be sure I'll be back for more. ^^ | |
| Alisha B | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 9/11/2003 |
| Well, I've been following your story on ff.net, and I'm slowly making the transition here. You write the characters very well. Aragorn is a bit off, but he's also a lot younger then the books. Legolas, however, is right on. You've given him the perfect combination of eloquence and nobility. So far, he sound every bit of 3,000 years. (or so.) Congratulations on that. Generally, I've found that many authors make him sound too young and informal. But like I said, I'll be keeping an eye out for more updates, because I really can't imagine where you're going with it. But I'm sure it'll be great! Keep up the good work! | |