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Interrupted Journeys: Part 5 Journeys in Mirkwood  by elliska 69 Review(s)
daw the minstrelReviewed Chapter: 10 on 5/11/2009
"Why are you not in the talan with your cousin and friends?" Thranduil continued.

Galithil stared dumbly at his uncle. He was not in the talan because he did not want to cry in front of Anastor. He was not in the talan because he couldn't bear to look at the wounds Legolas and Tulus had. He was not in the talan because sitting still gave him nothing to do but think. He had no idea how to begin to explain any of those things.


That repetition with variation is beautifully done. Poor Galithil. What a list of ways he feels guilty.

And this is also nice:

This time, Galithil did not even have to pretend to be sorry. He was sorrier than he had ever been in his whole life for anything. And he hoped so much that if Thranduil forgave him, it might take away even just a little of the guilt that he felt. Even if it did not, Galithil needed Thranduil's arms around him at this moment more than he could have ever imagined needing an adult's comfort.

There's a simplicity about the language that fits well with a mind and heart preoccupied with grief and guilt. Galithil has that same sad simplicity when he tells Legolas that he went south because he loved Maidhen and wanted to know why she was unacceptable.

Galithil is good to remember that Legolas needs Thranduil too. And what an interesting reappearance of the yarrow, which, as I recall, is there in this story's opening. Not enough to save Aradunnon, of course, but it's helped everyone else.

Legolas is very elfy in thinking that if trees could flee to Mandos, those in this southern village would do it. It's interesting to see the children changing the side they take on the move-the-village argument after seeing the forest and the battle. The problem is that there doesn't seem to be a right answer. It's canon that Oropher and Thranduil withdrew in the face of overwhelming forces, but that couldn't have made it easy.

Author Reply: This review made my day when I got to glance at it during work today. You picked out some of my favorite parts of the chapter and that made me feel so good. :-) I found it very interesting trying to convey how someone in Galithil's position might be thinking and reacting. I also enjoyed bringing the yarrow back--eventually poor Galithil might be able to see that he contributed something positive by helping to gather that yarrow. Ultimately though, this series is about Legolas and Thranduil, so Legolas's thoughts in this chapter eventually become very important to the story overall. It is a really shocking thing for Legolas to realize that he cannot agree with his father on the issue of how to best defend the south. All these impossible decisions with no right answer make for a really interesting situation to me. :-)

Thanks so much for the review, daw! I appreciate them so much!

perellethReviewed Chapter: 10 on 5/11/2009
A hard lesson indeed!

Galithil's mental process was heart-wrenching, really. It was wonderful how he picked up the toughest part of it all, that his Adar had told him to be honest about his motives... and all of a sudden he goes right deep dpwn there: he does love Miadhien, he was selfish and irresponsible and it all has consequences...harsher than being confined to his chambers!

It was very well done, Elliska, somehow it all had the muffled atmosphere of people completeley shocked by such a blow. All seemed blanketed in stupor, and kind of slow-motion. I think I could even hear them whisper and the boys argue for te sheer habit, but without any interest... Now, poor Dolgailon, I wonder how he is going to cope with all that...

Author Reply: All seemed blanketed in stupor, and kind of slow-motion.

Excellent! That is exactly what I was going for--that feeling when something so momentous has happened that you can't even quite take it in.

It was wonderful how he picked up the toughest part of it all

Again, excellent. I liked this part too. Galithil is a bit of a naughty boy (as I'm sure his father was), but he still has an upbringing that, given something of this magnitude, requires him to recognize what he has done wrong. He has definitely learned something. Poor kid has probably been made to learn it too well.

And you are right about Dolgailon--he's about to get way more responsibility than he wanted.

Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate them!



perellethReviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/29/2009
wow. wow.WOW! what a chater! Doom let loose! Well, Galithil, all I cna tell you is that LEgolas is oging to survive, you hear me? I read the book and I know he does!

As for the rest... well. I am speechless, all of a sudden catastrophe hit everywhere! I'm less than coherent, sorry, just stepped down from a long trip, but WOW!

Author Reply: Doom let loose! I love that description! So true. (But yeah, this isn't AU, so we can all feel pretty sure about Legolas, at least). ;-) The rest is definitely going to look like catastrophe to a good many people in both the short and the long run, unfortunately.

I'm glad I left you "wow'ed". :-) Thanks so much for the review. I appreciate them so much!

FantasiaReviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/27/2009
I really, really didn't want to read this chapter, because I knew that you have killed Aradunnon, probably Colloth, but did you have to kill Amoneth too? In your stories you have so many widows that I didn't consider her fading because her husband death. Anyway, I read it and like it even if I was so sad, poor Galithil, he will feel so guilty, sad, they have to be very careful with him, he might fade too, his father, mother, Tulus, Legolas..he knows already his mistake and he is paying for that, but he needs all the love that he can get from his family, they will have time later to see what happened and I will say that it wasn't all his fault, so many misunderstandings here. At least Dolgailon is save, he will have to be very strong for his brother, King, soldiers.

Bad timing for Aradunnon death, witht the Nazgul in Mirkwood, Marti and Co. around, poor Thranduil...poor everybody...

Thank you


Author Reply: I know it is mean, but I'm glad you were worried to read this chapter because that means I've managed to make these deaths something you care about and that's good. :-) Poor Galithil indeed. You are absolutely right that they will have to be careful with him. Dolgailon will even be showing that in the next chapter.

At least Dolgailon is save, he will have to be very strong for his brother, King, soldiers.

Absolutely right! This is hard on Galithil, but it will be harder on Dolgailon.

Bad timing for Aradunnon death, witht the Nazgul in Mirkwood, Marti and Co. around,

Absolutely right again! The timing of this death does have significance later, for certain.

Thanks so much for the reviews! I appreciate them so much!

daw the minstrelReviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/27/2009
My cable is out and I had to go to the library to read this, but I figure that's what Dot does all the time! :-)

So how many reasons did you think you needed to make poor Galithil feel guilty? His father, who looks dang dead from here? Tulus who's not only shot but by a poisoned arrow? Legolas too?!! Galithil even has to learn that his father was right that he didn't know how to shoot from trees?

And then you show us his MOTHER dead?

You are a cruel, cruel woman.

Did Dolgailon know his father was hurt and struggle to help Tulus and keep the kids out of danger? Or did he not know yet?

Author Reply: Oh my gosh, no Internet?! Yeah, that would bug me a lot. I need my work-avoidance websites. ;-)

Hehe! Yeah, Galithil has been beaten with a sledge hammer, hasn't he. Galithil even has to learn that his father was right that he didn't know how to shoot from trees? LOL! I didn't think about that! That's just mean. Poor guy. Of course the guilt he'll feel over this dictates the course of the next story for him, so it's important, but I agree, this was brutal for him.

And Amoneth was a problem here for me. She was supposed to die in part 3, but I decided not to do it, I think I mentioned then, because I didn't think her death at that point fit Galithil's personality well--Galithil would not be quite so willing an adventurer/smart-aleck if he'd seen such a significant death, I thought. But she wasn't in the story anymore, even though I didn't kill her. So she's been driving me nuts--I've been having to write her in places where Galithil's mother should surely be since she was still alive. And after this chapter, she needs to be dead. Some aspects of the future plot won't work without her being dead. So when I didn't kill her before, my thought was, 'whatever, I'll kill her along with Aradunnon later.' But now that I'm here, I felt so bad because it really pours it on thick for Galithil, Thranduil, Dolgailon... everyone. Poor things!

Did Dolgailon know his father was hurt and struggle to help Tulus and keep the kids out of danger?

Yes, Dolgailon knows. He's worried about his little brother and trying to keep him safe, not just from orcs but also from grief, as the next chapter shows. Dolgailon is really going to suffer from this more than most in the long run.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review all the way in the library! I really appreciate it and I sure hope you get your cable back soon!

DotReviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/27/2009
GAH!

I was thrilled to see this here this morning but so afraid to look and see what happened! What an incredible chapter. My stomach was in knots reading it. You write some of the best battle scenes I’ve ever read – and I love how you make it so real by having them all have to carry on fighting or tending the wounded, even when something so awful has happened. Galithil has just learned a lesson the hardest way there is to learn it. My heart went out to him when he was so frantically looking around for any Orcs that might take Dolgailon by surprise as well.

So Colloth is dead too? And poor Aradunnon. I can hardly believe it! I always thought it would be Galithil. Amoneth came as a shock to me but I have to say that was the best depiction of fading I’ve ever seen. She just went. Straight away. It’s so shocking and yet in a way so understandable. But ack! Those left behind! Galithil and Dolgailon and Thranduil and Dieneryn...

I hope Tulus is ok. And I nearly fell off my seat when I realised Legolas was injured! I think I want them all to go home now. That’d be ok, right??

I wish I had time to say more but I wanted to let you know how great I think this chapter is. Heartbreaking and shocking but incredibly well-written and a real reminder of what the Shadow meant for Mirkwood.


Author Reply: You write some of the best battle scenes I’ve ever read

Thanks so much because I really fussed over this chapter. I think I was whining about battle scenes in daw's journal as I was beginning the editing of this. It is so hard not to make them trite hack and slice scenes.

And I love some of the details you mentioned--poor Galithil indeed. I don't think he could have taken seeing orcs running down his brother too. I think, like you, most of the characters in this story assumed if anyone was going to come to a bad end, it would be Galithil. That is certainly why Legolas went after him and why Aradunnon freaked out seeing him. Galithil's got a lot to live with now.

And I am very relieved Amoneth's death seemed ok to you. That's something else I worried about. It seems brutal to let yourself go when you have a young son to fight for. But I hoped the combination of being wounded herself and losing her husband, who had gone into battle so many times that she'd seen and come out unscathed, would seem reason enough. So I am relieved it seemed realistic to you.

I'll be mean and let you worry a bit longer about Colloth and Tulus. But they are all definitely ready to go home now. You're sure right about that! ;-)

Thanks so much for the reviews! I appreciate them so much!

GwynhyffarReviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/27/2009
I think this is some of you best writing ever, Elliska. Finishing your grad program was definitely good for you! When Aradunnon's sword fell, I could see it in slow motion in my mind's eye.

All of that being said...

You MEAN writer!!! *SOB* How could you??? I keep hoping in the back of my head that Aradunnon miraculously pulls through! Galithil will feel guilty for eternity! Poor little guy!

...mean author!

Author Reply: Finishing your grad program was definitely good for you!

Oh you know that's the truth!! ;-) But seriously, thanks so much. I worried about this chapter a lot because this is the first death of a major character, so I hoped it would come off ok. I love that you could picture details like that! Made my day!

I know, I am evil. Sorry, I'll let people wonder about other characters like Tulus and Colloth, but I'll go ahead and say in reviews--Aradunnon is definitely dead. No miracles for him. I wish though, 'cause he was such a happy guy. I liked his character. Poor Galithil indeed!

Thanks so much for the review. I appreciate it so much!

Jay of LasgalenReviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/27/2009
**Sob**

NO!!

Not Aradunnon and Amoneth? Oh, poor, poor Galithil :(

This was a heart-rending chapter - so much tension and tragedy. And Legolas is injured too?

Author Reply: The House of Oropher has had a very bad day, for certain. Poor Galithil indeed. And Legolas (and Thranduil and...everyone). ;-)

I'm very glad the tension came across. It is really difficult for me to tell if that is working most of the time.

Thanks so much for the review! I appreciate them so much!

Sulwing of MirkwoodReviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/26/2009
No! You killed Aradunnon! He was just too cool and I liked him too much...I'm starting to be like my best friend. Whenever she likes a character, he or she invariably dies.

Poor Galathil! In one horrible day he loses both his father and his mother, and you can bet he is going to feel incredibly guilty over it all (kind of like he should to a degree, though I think that this is a cruel punishment for his lack of sense).

Poor Thranduil! His brother has died, and though they didn't agree on everything, I'm sure they loved each other. And there goes the leader of his army (though maybe Dolgailon could handle it...or...Tulus?...or...?).

Poor Lindomiel! Her best friend just died, and I hope she won't feel responsible in any way.

Poor Dolgailon! His parents are dead. I hope he'll be (reasonably) emotionally stable and not go tearing into Galathil, who is going to need him.

I know I am overusing the word, but poor Legolas who just got wounded and has lost his uncle and his aunt. I have a bad feeling that his wound was poisoned as well. But he didn't even realize he was injured he was so caught up in what was going on.

Well, I am emotionally distraught now. Congratulations, oh elliska, for you have done your work well! You are a great writer because you make your readers fall in love with your characters and feel everything they are feeling, not to mention that you keep me checking for your updates even when I don't want to read them because I know something terrible is about to happen.
Sorry the review was so long it will probably take you an hour to read it.

P.S. I *may* find it in my heart to forgive you for killing Aradunnon. But *please* don't kill Tulus too...if you do I'll send you the bill for my grief counselor!


Author Reply: I know it is completely mean, but I am really glad to hear that you cared enough about Aradunnon and Galithil to be bothered by his death. That's a good thing, evil as it is. ;-) And you're right--poor everyone. Galithil for very obvious reasons, but also Thranduil, who lost his brother and troop commander; Dolgailon, who also saw his father die and will certainly be expected to take up more responsibility now; Legolas, who also saw the whole thing and was wounded himself to boot; Lindomiel, who lost her best friend and will have to be the support for all these grieving people (as women always are). That's exactly the point though--for Legolas and Galithil to see the worst and learn to come through it. Because it isn't the last 'worst' they will see, unfortunately.

But *please* don't kill Tulus too...if you do I'll send you the bill for my grief counselor!

Hehehe! I promise in the next chapter there will be no more doubt about who made it and who didn't, but I'll be mean enough to let you suffer.

Thanks so much for the review! It made my day. :-)


Sulwing of MirkwoodReviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/22/2009
Oh no no no no noooo! Please! You can't leave it hanging like that! Don't kill Aradunnon! If he does I'll cry, or rather I'll weep with the trees...he's so cool, and though Galathil needs to grow up that is a very hard way to do it.
Oh, and Tulus is the spy! I don't know why I didn't figure that out sooner. But that's cool. And thank heavens he realizes that the right thing to do is to take care of the elflings.
Suddenly very large things are at stake (Aradunnon, Thranduil's wife in the village, the village, the elflings). Nail-biter, on-the-edge-of-your-seat kind of stuff now so please post the next chapter as soon as humanly possible so I don't die of suspense! (It'd be even better if you are an elf so that you can write it as *unhumanly* as possible!)

Author Reply: It's a mean cliff hanger, isn't it? Galithil is in for a hard lesson, I'm afraid. Hehe! I wondered if people would get who the spy was or be surprised by it. I'm glad it was a bit of a surprise. It's fun that way. :-) He's in for a hard time too.

I would love to be an elf to write faster. :-) But as it is, I do promise to do my very best to be quick. Suspense is fun, but it can turn annoying really fast.

Thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate them!

Author Reply: It's a mean cliff hanger, isn't it? Galithil is in for a hard lesson, I'm afraid. Hehe! I wondered if people would get who the spy was or be surprised by it. I'm glad it was a bit of a surprise. It's fun that way. :-) He's in for a hard time too.

I would love to be an elf to write faster. :-) But as it is, I do promise to do my very best to be quick. Suspense is fun, but it can turn annoying really fast.

Thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate them!

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