AUTHOR’S NOTES: This story takes place in Astron S.R 1389 at Buckland. All the herbal medicine noted were looked up online. I do not claim to be a medical expert; I just try to heal my hobbits well. =) Also, unfortunately these are not my hobbits but they’re Tolkien’s. I greatly wish they were mine though.

Bilbo is 99, Frodo: 21, Merry: 7; Merimas: 8; Berilac-9 years old

10 Astron S.R. 1389

“Tell me again, Frodo, why are you leaving me?” asked Merry Brandybuck.

“I am not leaving you, dear Merry; I am just living with Uncle Bilbo so that I won’t be a burden to your parents and everyone else.”

“But you’re not a burden! We want you to live here and we’re happy that you’re here!” exclaimed a hurt Merry with tears in his eyes.

“There, there, Merry,” Frodo said as he embraced his younger cousin. “I’ll be back to visit! Buckland is not too far from Hobbiton!” He was happy at Brandy Hall, but he felt that the numerous relations sometimes hindered individual attention, which he felt that he needed. Ever since his parents had died, he wanted to be the center of attention, and sometimes, amidst so many Brandybuck relations, he felt lost in the crowd.

Grief did not wash away that quickly and even though he found joy with his young cousin Merry, but sometimes he just wanted an adult to talk with someone who remembered his parents and could remind him of how wonderful they had been. Besides, he dearly loved Bilbo and living with him would enable him to enjoy listen to many of his enjoyable stories and learn Elvish. Hobbiton seemed like an exciting place too.

The only thing making him reluctant was Merry’s reaction to him leaving. He had grown extremely fond of young Merry as well and he knew that this parting would be very difficult for him.

“Is it something I’ve done, Frodo? Do you not like me anymore? Do you love Bilbo more? Is that why you’re leaving?” cried Merry, tears freely falling now.

“Of course not, dear Merry! I love you and your parents very much but sometimes when a person grows older, they need to explore other places and learn other things. Uncle Bilbo knows a lot of stories and can teach me Elvish, and possibly he and I can go spot an elf or two. Don’t you want your cousin to be able to learn interesting things like that?

“Really? Bilbo’s seen an elf?” asked Merry, suddenly his sniffles subsiding a bit and his wide blue eyes looking up at his cousin in awe.

“Yes, and I’ll write about the stories he tells me in my daily letters to you, all right? And do not feel so down, my dear, cheerful Merry. You have your other cousins and friends that will keep you quite busy.” “Yes, Merry,” Frodo smiled pleased to see that Merry’s mood had brightened a bit. “And I promise to write to you every day. I will fill my letters with Bilbo’s stories so that you can enjoy them too. Please don’t be sad, my dear Merry. You have your other cousins and friends and I am certain that they will keep you very busy while I’m away.”

“Will you promise to visit often and will you really write me every day?” asked a doubtful Merry.

“I will. I promise.”

“But I’ll miss you a lot, cousin Frodo—you’re my bestest cousin I could ever have,” said Merry grasping onto Frodo’s legs tightly.

Frodo picked up Merry and held him close, kissing the top of Merry’s head and whispering, “And you’re mine too, dear Merry.” Now it was Frodo’s turn to have his eyes tear up. He had seen Merry born and in the past seven years he’d been in Buckland; this cousin had indeed come to inhabit a special place in his heart. “Whenever, you miss me, just mail me a letter and I’ll try to come to you, all right?”

“What if I miss you too much? What if I can’t sleep without your bedtime stories? What if Ma and Da won’t let me go through the woods?” Merry asked.

“Your Mama tells great stories too. Whenever I come visit from Hobbiton, I will have even better ones to tell because Bilbo has so many stories!”

“Can I come visit too whenever I want?”

“Of course you can. Anytime you wish.”
TBC

12 Astron S.R. 1389

Dear Merry,

I miss you very much but Hobbiton is a very lovely place! I live in Bag End, and it’s quite huge, big enough for a lot of our relations to come visit! You can bring Merimac and Berilac and your parents and still, the rooms will not be full!

Bilbo is treating me very well and spoiling me. He gave me one of the biggest rooms in Bag End and every night, he tells me his many stories. I don’t know why Bilbo is so fond of me. He treats me better than I deserve. He gave me a very nice pipe when I first came several days ago. He said that the dwarves made it! He said that it’s my “welcome to Bag End” gift. He cooked my favorite mushroom dish the first day I arrived as well! Tomorrow we’re going to start our first Elvish lesson—I anticipate that it will be very enjoyable. It’s been really nice here, and I wish you were here too!

Merry-mine, draw me a picture—you’ve always been such a talented little artist. What are you doing these days? My dearest Brandybuck, hope you’re doing well. What are you doing these days my dearest Brandybuck? I do hope that you are well and having fun.

Please send your parents my warmest regards.

Your dearest cousin,

~Frodo

“Seems like Frodo is settling down well,” said Esmeralda, after she read the letter to Merry.

“Yes, I know. It doesn’t even seem like he misses me.” Merry gave a pout and frowned. Merry frowned and chewed his bottom lip, pouting. “He didn’t mention missing me at all, and he didn’t say that he’s going to come visit me.”

“Now, now Merry; we should be happy that Frodo is settling down. It ‘should be his choice where he lives, and we love Frodo so we want him to be happy. He’s had more than his share of troubles. Bilbo will treat him well and he deserves that.”

“But how about me? I treat Frodo well and love him too and… and… he decides to leave me!” Merry was angry now and even though Frodo had said that he would visit and write often, Merry didn’t feel like it was enough. “I miss Frodo!” he said as he stamped his feet on the ground.

“Oh poor Merry!Don’t think of it that way, my sweet darling. You know how much Frodo cares for you. Frodo loves you, Merry.” She reached over and drew him into her arms stroking his curls like she had when he had been much younger. “Papa and I are still here for you and that’s what counts, right?”

“But why can’t we all be together? When are we visiting Frodo then?” Merry demanded looking up at her forlornly.

“As soon as the weather clears up; it’s been so rainy lately,” said Esmeralda continuing to run her fingers gently through his honey colored curls as she spoke.

“And it’s so boring indoors,” grumbled Merry.

“Write a nice, long letter to Frodo or go play with Doderic,” suggested Esmeralda. ‘She knew that she would soon be busy preparing dinner and she didn’t want Merry left unoccupied. She worried that he was spending too much time missing Frodo and not enough time with the other children of the Hall.

“But he’s boring; Doderic is such a baby even though he is already three—He’s not as much fun as Frodo! I miss him, Mama.”

“I do too, dear—but keep busy now, and we can plan to visit Frodo soon, all right?”

But instead of following his mother’s advice Merry wandered around Brandy Hall. There was a lot going on, but he still felt lonely. Merry was also frustrated. No one understood how he felt. Everyone seemed to agree that Frodo would be better off living with Bilbo but nobody seemed to understand how much Frodo meant to him.

He walked by the door to an isolated room that essentially was a mix between a guest room and a library. The Brandybucks called this the Second Common Room. The first Common Room was generally filled with family and friends, but this one was mostly forgotten. This might have been because it was at the far end of the hole and not many folks bothered going there. The large, comfortable room had mirrors, large windows, two canopy beds, and three big couches. It had several big closets, which were fun to explore. It was a splendid place to play. Shelves filled with books about Buckland's history, herbology, geography and genealogy cluttered the age-old bookcases. He didn’t understand the books, but he told himself that when he was older, he would try to read them. Frodo was always reading and he wanted to be like Frodo.

This was Frodo and Merry’s special place. Merry and Frodo used to play hide-and-seek because it was so big. They also played other games like jacks and card games. Sometimes they would sleep there and Frodo would tell the best stories about Elves and dragons and dwarves. Even though Frodo had not seen them, he still had an amazing imagination about them. They would pretend that they were camping out and that no one at Brandy Hall knew where they were. This was also the place that Merry went if he wanted to be alone. Frodo always found him there.

Merry sat by a bay window. The rain outside seemed to reflect his feelings. It was rainy now in Astron, indicating the start of the robust planting season. Astron was generally the month when it rained the most and this year was no exception. The weather did not help Merry’s mood. Maybe I’ll run away to Hobbiton and go visit Frodo myself sometime when this icky rain ends. Merry had no idea how far Hobbiton was but his parents had told him that it would take several days by pony.

Staring at the incessant rain pouring down with no end in sight made Merry drowsy. His heart still ached for Frodo even though he’d just read a letter from him. He was slightly jealous that Frodo was having a good time while he was not. He gradually nodded into a deep sleep leaning down upon the window seat and didn’t hear the dinner chimes indicating that dinner was ready.

“Where is Merry?” asked Esmeralda to Saradoc.

“I haven’t seen him since the morning. I thought he would be with you. What is wrong?”

“Usually he’s the first one to come when the dinner chimes ring because he’s so hungry, but I do not see him tonight. I’m worried. I should go look for him.”

“Maybe he fell asleep somewhere,” suggested Menegilda looking up from her plate while attending to Berilac.

“That boy must be getting a nap somewhere,” added Rorimac. “I’ve seen him toss and turn during the night—don’t reckon he’s sleeping that well these days.”

“I know. He tells me he is fine, but I think he’s not sleeping as he should. I will go and find him,” said Saradoc. “He hasn’t been that energetic. He just hasn’t been himself ever since Frodo left three days ago.”

Esmeralda frowned, “I guess I will sleep with him tonight to make sure that he will sleep better. I will come with you to look for him,” said Esmeralda. Esmeralda frowned. “Perhaps I should sleep with him tonight. Then I can make certain that he gets some rest.” Saradoc thought that his dear wife looked as if she could use some rest too but he didn’t say anything. Still looking a bit anxious, Esmeralda said, “I will come with you. We can look for Merry together.”

It took a while for them to find Merry. The Brandybucks knew the Hall well but even so, finding one small lad in such a large place wasn’t easy. Brandy Hall was a vast smial with many rooms, long corridors, closets, and storage areas. Saradoc tried looking in Merry’s room while Esme tried the library. After searching various other locations, they finally found their son in the second Common Room sleeping soundly in a window seat.

“Wake up, dear Merry,” said Esmeralda softly into Merry’s ear as she gathered her son into his arms. “It’s time for dinner.”

Merry opened one eye, then the other, and looked up staring at his parents. They looked worriedly back at him. Groggily, he sat up, but he was still very tired so he leaned back into his mother’s arms.

“A few more minutes, Mama? What time is it?” Merry yawned. He wasn’t quite awake. He seemed to recall that he’d been dreaming about Frodo. In his dream Frodo had been going off on an adventure and had been leaving Merry behind. Merry rubbed his eyes and tried to put the disturbing dream out of his mind.

, “It’s past your meal time, my lad,” said Saradoc. Your mother and I have been searching for you for some time now. Aren’t you hungry?”

“Not really.” Merry said, laying his head upon Esmeralda’s lap.

“But you haven’t eaten since afternoon tea—surely you should eat something. I’ve made your favorite dear, roasted potatoes and mushrooms with garlic!” said Esmeralda, trying to sound cheery.

“That does sound good,” replied Merry, yawning again despite himself.

“Come on! I’ve left some for you still warm in the oven—let’s go get some—everyone’s done already and they’re expecting you. Come on, Merry. I’ve kept your dinner warm for you. Let’s go and eat. Everyone else is probably finished by now. I am certain that they were all wondering where you were, my little scamp.”

“Mama. Carry?” asked Merry shyly. He was seven now and didn’t usually want anyone to carry him, but he was feeling more tired than usual. It seemed that walking was just too difficult at the moment. He looked at his mother with sleepy eyes and sighed.

“All right—but you are becoming a big boy now…this is the last time I’m carrying you, Meriadoc Brandybuck,” said Esme, gathering Merry into her arms and carrying her beloved hobbit-lad.

“Your mother spoils you, Merry—I would’ve said no in an instant,” said Saradoc grinning.

Despite being hungry, Merry didn’t eat much. He had a slight sore throat and could only drink a little bit and only ate half of what Mama gave him. He did not feel refreshed from the nap he had, only more tired than before. Meal time was different without Frodo by his side, telling jokes to him and being mischievous and entertaining even at dinner. He was sleepy, and he missed Frodo.

Merry sighed. I wonder if Frodo even thinks about me now. I wonder if we eat at the same time. I wonder what Bilbo makes. Is it as good as Mama’s food?

And with that thought, he persuaded Esmeralda to bring him to bed for he didn’t want to eat anymore.

"I want to sleep with you, Mama! Please, pretty please?” asked Merry.

“Why, my dear? Are you not feeling well?” Esme put his hand to her son’s forehead. No temperature; that is a good thing.

He was feeling lonely without his best friend and cousin. He wanted to be with his parents in their big, warm bed and to know that they were still there with him.

“You’re a big lad now, but I guess we can accommodate you, but only for tonight. We do not want this becoming a habit,” said Saradoc. He was worried too; Merry wasn’t acting like himself these days. The child spent too much time moping about and not enough time having fun.

“Sleep well, dearest Merry. May you have sweet dreams, my darling lad,” said Esme as she kissed Merry’s forehead and settled into the bed besides him. She placed a protective arm about him and stayed besides Merry as he slowly drifted off to sleep. Meanwhile, Saradoc went to his study and hoped tomorrow would bring a more energetic Merry.

…

The next day, to Merry’s dismay, it was still raining, and he felt frustrated. He couldn’t convince his parents to visit Frodo. It didn’t help that, even with his parents by his side, he couldn’t sleep. The storm woke him in the middle of the night and he was scared. His mama had cuddled him sang to him softly but he still did not feel rested. His mild sore throat from the day been before was now becoming more irritating. It made him cough.

“Ma! We should go visit Frodo!”

“It’s pouring outside, darling. We cannot mange a trip to Hobbiton in this weather. The roads will be muddy and the cart ponies will have a very difficult time of it, if we try to go now. Believe me, I miss him too. I would love to visit him and we will as soon as we can,” replied Esmeralda. “Now eat some breakfast, dear. You hardly had dinner last night.”

“But my throat hurts—“said Merry as he started to cough.

“Oh dear, are you getting sick?” asked Esmeralda alarmed.

“I don’t know…I don’t want to eat,” said Merry as he lay his head down. A headache was starting but he tried not to think about it. He was busy trying to devise a way to visit Frodo.

Esme brought some tea with honey for Merry to drink in the hopes of soothing his throat. She placed a hand on his forehead. Merry was slightly warm. He probably had a fever.

“I’m fine, Ma,” said Merry. He looked at his mother pleadingly. “If the rain isn’t too bad this afternoon, can we please go to visit Frodo? Please?”

“If the rain lightens, and if you don’t seem like you’re catching something,” said Esme. She knew she was a worried mother but she couldn’t help it; Merry was her only child and she didn’t want Merry to suffer or feel sad. She could not change Frodo’s decision to live with Bilbo, even though she knew that Merry was upset by it. Merry would adjust and understand in time.

“I’m fine, Ma,” repeated Merry between coughs. “So can we? Visit Frodo sometime soon? Can I go play outside when there is no rain?”

“We really should let Bilbo know we are coming beforehand. He will want to prepare for company. Besides, it is a long way to Hobbiton, dear-about twenty leagues in fact!” She smiled at him and then answered his second question. “You can play outside, only if it isn’t too cold and if it stops raining completely. Do you understand, dear Merry? However, if your cough becomes worse then I will want you to remain indoors.”

“But Ma! I’m all right; your tea helped,” Merry mustered his brightest smile and sat up straighter to prove to Ma that he was well enough to attempt the trip or at the very least, to go outside and play.

He glanced over at his cousins, Berilac, Merimas and Mentha who seemed to be conspiring to run out in the rain and play with in rain puddles. They’ve been whispering all throughout the meal! They must be up to something.

In spite of Merry’s wishing, the rain didn’t stop. Merry was bored. No one wanted to play the games that he wanted to play. The little ones played dull games that only very small children enjoy. Merimas was being bossy. Mentha and Melilot were boring just like most lasses were. Berilac, who was usually very reliable, was nowhere to be found.

Suddenly Merimas appeared. “Oy, Merry! Stop sitting around and play. I have a dare for you.”

“What sort of dare?” Merry was bored and wanted to stop counting the amount of raindrops streaming down the window as he slouched tiredly on the coach. The rain had subsided to drizzles, but it wasn’t getting warm like typical Astron weather yet. He wanted to sleep, but he was too restless and uncomfortable with his sore throat. If only Frodo was here to play with him, he always played the games he wanted.

“I will play jacks with you if you race with me in the rain,” said Merimas mischievously.

“But Mama told me not to go into the rain---“protested Merry.

“You’re being a Mama’s boy, aren’t you?” chuckled Merimas. “Fine—I won’t play with you then. I’m going to play with my sisters.” Merimas started to pretend to leave Merry.

“Why would you play with them? Hobbit lasses are so boring. Are you really a hobbit lass, Merimas? What if I do come and run with you? What is the prize?” said Merry boldly. He wasn’t feeling at all well, ut he was not about to let Merimas tease him.

“Isn’t playing with you enough?”

“No, not really. And you know I can beat you easy,” said Merry trying to stand up to Merimas. Merimas always thought he was so bright and interesting just because he was a year older than Merry.

“What’s going on?” Berilac stepped into the room where the two hobbit lads were talking. “What are you two up to?”

“Merry’s too chicken to race me in the rain,” said Merimas with a smirk.

“That is not true!” said Merry, embarrassed. “It’s rainy out!” If he hadn’t been so tired then he might have felt braver. Still, he couldn’t let his older cousins think he was a coward. Merry drew himself up and said, “I’m not afraid of a little rain. I’ll take your dare, Merimas!”

“Then let’s go,” said Merimas. “Besides, the rain isn’t that bad right now.”

“Yes, that’s true,” agreed Berilac enthusiastically. “I want to race too!”

Merry could do nothing but agree. The three hobbit lads fetched their rain cloaks and went out to the side door since fewer adults would inquire where they were going. He followed the older cousins outside.

The chilly wind caught them unprepared as light drizzle wet their hands, faces and heads. Merry drew his cloak close about him, shivering uncontrollably, and asked, “Why is it so cold?”

“It’s not too bad,” replied Merimas. “When we run, that will warm us up. Let’s all run to the maple tree on the other side! We can start the real race from there!”

“But I’m not ready!” cried Berilac as he ran to keep up with Merimas who was well ahead.

Merry coughed and breathed harder than normal to keep up. He followed them at a slower pace because his headache had become worse ever since venturing outside.

Finally catching up to them at the maple tree, not far from the front entrance to Brandy Hall, Merry felt more tired than ever. He really didn’t feel well but he didn’t want Berilac and Merimas to know that.

“Hey are you all right Merry?” Berilac asked looking at Merry who was shivering and coughing.

“A bit of running has made you pretty tired,” Merimas said as he looked at Merry whose eyelids were barely open.

No, no…I’m just fine,” said Merry defiantly. He stood tall just like his father always did whenever other hobbits doubted him, but Merry felt terrible. He longed to go back into the warm smial.

You don’t look too good,” said Berilac. “Are you sure you want to race, Merry?”

“Let’s just start and see who is the slowest. We’ll run only one time since the wind is just awful. I bet I’m faster than both of you!” cried Merimas before Merry could say anything. “Last one to the side door will have to be my slave for the rest of the afternoon!” Merimas grinned. With his arm held over his head, Merimas said, “Ready, get set,” Then he dropped his arm and shouted, “GO!”

Berilac and Meimas guickly sped away leaving Merry to try and keep up as best he could. The drizzling rain was making Merry wet and uncomfortable. He was chilled to the bone. The side door had never seemed so far away and every step that Merry took was harder than the last. Struggling along behind the others, Merry finally arrived at the door, his side aching and his head pounding. His older cousins didn’t seem the least bit winded, but Merry could barely catch his breath.

“Haha! I won! I won!” yelled Berilac, ecstatic.

“Well, you splashed me with that puddle! It wasn’t fair!” cried Merimas.

“Can we go inside now?” Merry could barely limp to the door—he was so tired and he was coughing non-stop now.

“Yes, you sound pretty bad,” said Merimas. “You lost by the way—you still must become my slave---“

“Merry?”

Merry didn’t hear any more. He stumbled inside and immediately collapsed in the hallway. He was shivering and thoroughly exhausted. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

14 Astron S.R. 1389

Dearest Merry,

How is my favorite hobbit? Did you get my last letter? How are things at Brandy Hall?

Remember how I said that Bilbo was going to teach me Elvish? He has begun giving me lessons but he has given them to me at the most unexpected place! Bilbo took me to Bindbole Woods yesterday and it was great fun! Bindbole Woods is about fifteen miles north of Hobbiton and it took quite a while to get there. It is pretty woody and not many folks go there, according to Bilbo. Bilbo and I trekked through marshes and over lesser traveled paths leading there from Hobbiton! He told me some stories about the history of the area. Then we roasted marshmallows by the fire, sang songs, and I learned some Elvish by the campfire. On the hike through the Bindbole, Bilbo told a scary story about the place! I will tell you when I get the chance!

I miss you Merry—Bilbo and I will visit sometime soon. I keep telling him that we should but he says it’s been too cold—I don’t’ know what all of the fuss is about. If we are able to go to Bindbole then why not visit you in Buckland?. Sometimes Bilbo is very difficult to figure out..

Keep being my merry Merry!

I love you,

~your dearest cousin, Frodo

“Maybe we should reply saying that Merry needs to see him,” said Esmeralda as she read the letter aloud to Saradoc. The Brandybucks had been tending to Merry since they had found him sleeping in the hallway, soaking wet and chilled to the bone. Esmeralda had scolded Berilac and Merimas for going out into the rain but the two lads were now suffering for their actions. Both of them had nasty colds from their ill-conceived adventure.

Poor Merry suffered the worst of it. He had a high fever and was coughing non-stop. That night, Esmeralda had sent for the healer, Amaryllis Goldenfeet. They had been working the whole night, making the recommended willow bark, echinacea, peppermint-rosemary, and muellin flower teas to help with Merry’s fever and coughing. Amaryllis had been kept very busy making tinctures for the medicinal teas.

She also help Saradoc and Esmeralda give Merry a cold water bath. This caused the fever to go down enough so that Merry awoke for a while. But after being awake for only a short time, Merry was soon fast asleep again. The fever made him very tired and the cough was draining his energy. His worried parents continued their ministrations while the child slept fitfully.

“And worry Frodo?” replied Saradoc as he placed a wet cloth on his son’s neck. Merry was flushed and hot but he was trembling. The child moaned softly and called for Frodo in his sleep. Nightmares seemed to plague the poor little hobbit even as he tried to rest.

“We shouldn’t keep this from Frodo--- He loves Merry as much as we do. He would be here if he knew Merry was this sick,” said Esmeralda as she tried to get Merry to take a few sips of tea.

“I’ll leave the choice up to you then, my dear,” Saradoc said.

Frodo sensed that there was something wrong. Shouldn’t Merry have replied to his letters by now? The Shire post seldom was inefficient. Letters usually arrived quickly. The Shire post had more employees than the Shiriffs and letters were sent hourly if needed.

“Bilbo” Frodo said restlessly, “Let’s go to Buckland. I want to see Merry.”

“It hasn’t even been a week yet, and you already miss our little lad, don’t you?” replied Bilbo.

“Yes I do, and I don’t’ know why but —I feel like there is something wrong. I have written two letters to Merry and I’m about to write a third one. The trouble is that I haven’t got a single letter in return. It’s unlike Merry to not reply,” said Frodo worriedly. “I hope he isn’t still mad at me for leaving him.”

“I’m sure not, dear Frodo,” said Bilbo gently. However seeing Frodo’s anxious look, he added. Let’s go for another adventure then.”

“Really? We’ll go see Merry in Buckland? Hooray!” cried Frodo.

Just as they were getting ready to set out, a messenger knocked at the door. He had a letter from Buckland.

Frodo didn’t think twice. He quickly opened the letter.

15 Astron S.R. 1389

“Dear Frodo,

I do not know how to break this to you, but Merry is very sick—please come as soon as you are able.

Yours in haste,

~ Esme

Tears filled Frodo’s eyes. He sat down feeling guilt consume him. The letter fell from his hands and dropped to the floor. Bilbo picked it up and read it.

“How can my dear Merry be so sick? What happened? Let’s go immediately!” cried Frodo.

“Oh dear, we must definitely go now. If we start now, we’ll be there before the sun sets,” Bilbo said determinedly.

Frodo and Bilbo hurried out to get the ponies. They were soon on their way to the Great East Road riding east towards Buckland.

“You are so slow!” cried Merimas.

“You’re the slowest hobbit in Buckland!” teased Berilac.

“You’re so slow, I don’t even want to live with you anymore,” cried Frodo.

“But Frodo—I thought you loved me no matter what! I will run faster for you, I promise--- don’t leave me to go to Hobbiton!” cried Merry.

“ I’m sorry, Merry, but Bilbo runs faster. I will want him to be my running partner instead!”

“But Frodo! Frodo you’re my bestest cousin, please don’t leave me? Please? I’ll be good! Frodo!”

Frodo had Bilbo’s old maps to Erebor sprawled out on the desk at the Second Common Room. Frodo was all packed and ready to leave. Frodo seemed like he was packing and going east, away from the Shire….

“Why are you leaving the Shire, Frodo? Don’t leave without me! Don’t go where I can’t follow!”

“I’m sorry Merry, young hobbit-lads like you aren’t able to go on great Quests like these--- only tweenagers are allowed.”

“But Frodo! I’m your favorite cousin, aren’t I? I thought we were best cousins Frodo!”

“Frodo!”

“Merry, awake! It’s just a dream. Merry!”

Merry wearily opened his eyes. What happened? He struggled to wake up while a coughing fit seized him. His head was throbbing, he was hot, and he felt achy all over. He saw his Da standing next to the bed looking very worried and he noticed a strange hobbit lass reapplying cool cloths to his side and neck. She was saying something, and Merry liked the sound of he voice even though he didn’t know who she was.

“There’s a good hobbit lad—now open your mouth. That’s good.” Amaryllis helped Merry to a sitting position, while bringing a cup of willow bark tea to Merry’s lips. She gently massaged the liquid down his throat.

Merry coughed and shuddered at the horrible taste. “Mama? Mama?”

“Yes, dearest Merry? Is there anything I can do?” Esmeralda asked. Amaryllis suggested that she give Merry some water to get rid of the bad taste.

“How? What happ---” Merry coughed before finishing the question.

“Here, rest easy, you’ve been very sick, dear. Amaryllis, the healer, is here and she has been helping you to get better. How are you feeling?”

“Awful, Ma—I feel like,” but before Merry could finish, he got sick and vomited up all the medicine that he had been given.

Merry laid back into his pillows feeling weak and nauseated. He felt gentle hands pick him up and change his soiled pajamas.

Merry shivered and closed his eyes, feeling his Ma’s familiar cool touch and mumbled, “Ma—I feel ….terrible.”

“Poor baby, I know.” Esmeralda held Merry gently as Saradoc gave their son more water and waited for the stronger medicinal teas to finish brewing. Together they told him stories, whispered encouraging thoughts to him, and did what they could to keep Merry awake until the teas were ready.

Frodo and Bilbo reached Brandy Hall in record time. They traveled the twenty leagues in a very short time and reached the Hall just after sunset. They had started out from Hobbiton around mid-afternoon, and they traveled very quickly by Shire standards. . They hurriedly went into Brandy Hall in search of Merry. They were worried when they saw the somber faces of their Brandybuck cousins.

“Where’s Merry? How’s Merry?” cried Frodo immediately when Menegilda and Rorimac answered the door.

“Frodo! I wasn’t expecting you! He’s quite sick—and has a bad fever and cough, it seems,” said Menegilda with a look of surprise and distress. “The healer, Amaryllis Goldenfoot, is here and she has been brewing many medicinal teas for young Merry.” She looked over and noticed Bilbo for the first time since the two had entered the Hall. She tried to smile as she greeted him. “Ah Bilbo—how nice to see you.”

“Poor lad—can I go see him?” Frodo interrupted anxiously before Bilbo had a chance to reply to Menegilda’s greeting.

“Seeing that he is awfully fond of you, I’m sure that he will be glad to see you,” replied Rorimac who had been standing just behind Menegilda. “It’s a dreadful fever. I need to warn you that Merry’s been very ill.”

“I don’t care; I just want to see my Merry.”

Frodo and Bilbo entered the sickroom and saw Saradoc, Esmeralda and Amaryllis all sit next to Merry’s bed. Merry was trying hard to stay awake while the healer gave him another cup of tea. Saradoc was alternating the cold compresses on Merry’s forehead and neck. Esmeralda was stroking Merry’s head, and quietly coaxing him to take his medicine. Merry looked pale and Frodo noticed that the lad was much thinner than he’d been the last time they had been together.

“Merry!”

Merry’s blue eyes opened wide in happy surprise. He was so very excited to see Frodo.

“You came --back ---I missed you,” Merry whispered hoarsely as Esmeralda moved away while Frodo gathered his young cousin into his arms and hugged him gently.

Frodo felt the warmth emanating from Merry. He was upset and frightened that his little cousin should have such a high fever. The poor lad really much be very ill. “What happened? You must get better quick, all right? I will be your personal nurse only if you get better and then we can play and I’ll bring you on an adventure all right?”

“Frodo---don’t ever go on an adventure and leave me behind…I pwomise I’ll try to get better, but make Mama and Da stop giving me yucky medicines--- They really taste bitter,” whispered Merry clutching onto Frodo tightly.

“Now, Merry taking your medicine is the first step in getting better. Now how did you become so sick?”

“I don’t know—“ Merry coughed. “I ran-- in the –rain—Berilac and Merimas were racing so I joined them…think it was yesterday?”

“It was two days ago, sweetie,” said Esmeralda, stroking Merry’s curls.

“Now, Merry must rest his voice and not talk so much,” interjected Amarillyis. “He has a serious throat infection. He needs bed rest until the fever breaks and he needs to drink the teas whenever he is awake. To prevent the Winter Sickness, Merry should drink lots of water, keep drinking the teas, and always take some food with the medicine. He is more alert now which is good. He is better than he was yesterday.”

“How did Merry become so sick? Running in the rain, is that all?” asked Bilbo.

“He seemed to be on the cusp of getting sick three days ago when he had a sore throat. He wasn’t sleeping or eating well,” said Saradoc. “Running in the rain with the wind still coming from the North wasn’t a smart idea. Berilac and Merimas both have colds too.”

Frodo felt even guiltier—did his departure make his young cousin sick? Was Merry that depressed over his leaving? Frodo hugged Merry tighter. “I’m here for you now, and you’re going to get better really quickly, all right?”

“My Fwodo,” whispered Merry nodding his head as he cuddled into Frodo.

“I’m glad you came, Frodo—We thought that you would be the best medicine for Merry,” said Esmeralda.

Amaryllis had left for the night. With the Frodo’s insistence, Esmeralda and Saradoc retired to their sleeping quarters. Frodo said that he would stay with Merry throughout the night. Frodo stayed by Merry’s bedside the whole night giving him water, alternating cold compresses, and making him drink the echinacea and peppermint teas. Frodo also got some juice for Merry, knowing that he must keep hydrated.

Merry was restless, and his throat was bothering him most of all. His fever had abated a little bit for the moment but he was also excited that Frodo was with him.

“Frodo?”

“Yes, dearest Merry?”

“I wanted to come visit you too, but the adults wouldn’t let me.”

“I was faster and came to visit you first,” said Frodo as he kissed Merry on the nose.

Merry smiled. Now that Frodo was here, he was happy even though he was sick. He felt relaxed enough to go back to sleep even after a fever induced nightmare. Frodo sang a soft lullaby that he had recently learned from Bilbo and covered Merry with a soft, silky blanket. The blanket was one that Frodo used whenever he got sick as a child. The blanket was light enough so that it didn’t make fevered patients feel too warm but it was cozy enough to keep out the chill. Frodo was glad to see Merry’s eyes close as the child fell into a peaceful slumber. Only then did Frodo dare to close his own eyes and nap for a while on the sofa beside Merry’s bed.

The next morning, Merry was a bit better, but he was still coughing a lot. Frodo stayed by Merry’s side even though he didn’t sleep much the previous night. Bilbo was there too, and he coaxed Frodo to take a nap but Frodo insisted that he was fine.

“Frodo? I’m cold.” Merry’s eyes were still slightly glazed, indicating that the fever still had a firm grasp on the poor lad.

Frodo felt Merry’s forehead and found that it was still quite warm. “You should be taking the willow bark now—I need to ask your Mama if there is more. Do you still feel headachy too?”

Merry nodded miserably.

“I’ll be right back, all right?”

“Come back soon, Frodo!”

Frodo was walking through the long corridors to get to the kitchen. Even though he was tired, he felt like it was his responsibility to help Merry recover quickly. He couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had not left? Would Merry still be sick now? Why didn’t Merry sleep or eat well? That had only made him more susceptible illness. Why did Merry decide to run in the rain?

“It’s not your fault,” said a female voice from behind Frodo.

Esmeralda already had a tray of mugs and bowls and was preparing to return to Merry’s room.

“I am not sure why I think it is, but I do,” said Frodo with tears clouding his eyes and, threatening to spill over. He quickly went to help Esmeralda with one of the mugs which were filled with a healing draught.

“None of us considered the implications of you leaving as carefully as we might have. I should have looked more carefully at Merry and tried to understand how this would affect him. It really isn’t your fault, Frodo. You needed a change. Sara and I do not blame you for leaving.”

”I know you don’t but poor Merry ---“

“He’s a young lad and he wants everything perfect all the time. If it weren’t for this rain, we could’ve come visit you sooner. We should work out a plan for the visits.. The letters are great, but Merry can’t write yet, and so I’m sure he would appreciate treks to Bag End.”

“And Bilbo and I would welcome him—He could stay over at Bag End,” replied Frodo. “I…I feel torn, Esme. I want to be in both areas at the same time but I know I can’t be and…and…Merry is so dear to me. He made me happy again after my parents died,” said Frodo slowly.

“We can all come to visit,” Esmeralda said. “It would help if we alternated our trips. We could take turns visiting one another. We know you care about Merry and that is why we were surprised that you were leaving at first, but Sara and I understood that it was probably difficult staying here and having to face all of those …those memories from the tragedy. We know that Buckland and our home here gave you a happy childhood. But without … your parents, it must have been very difficult for you to be happy here. You need a chance to heal too, Frodo.”

“Merry made it better though,” replied Frodo softly. “But ---“Frodo trailed not knowing what to say.

“You don’t need to explain, dear Frodo,” said Esmeralda as she put down the tray and put her hand on Frodo’s shoulder. “Just because you are not here with Merry all of the time, it doesn’t mean you don’t lovehim. Merry will learn that. If you two visit each other often, there will be very little difference.”

“Besides, I do enjoy trekking to Brandy Hall,” Bilbo spoke up from behind them. “We’ll work out something for visiting here every other week, Frodo-lad. You can be with both of the cousins that you love.”

“Can we, Bilbo?” asked Frodo grinning.

“I see no reason why we can’t come to Buckland on occasion,” said Bilbo with a wink.

“But first, we need to see to our sick patient,” said Esmeralda, quickly hurrying back to Merry’s room.

“Poor Merry has the chills—I think he needs to have his willow bark,” said Saradoc who was sitting beside ofby Merry’s bed.

Merry had closed his eyes and seemed to have fallen asleep again.

“Merry, dearest? Time for more medicine.”

“So cold, Mama—where’s Frodo?”

“I’m right here, dearest Merry,” said Frodo as he gently slipped his arm beneath Merry's shoulders to lift him enough so that Merry was sitting.

“I don’t want medicine! I want to sleep, but it’s so cold,” whined Merry with his eyes still closed.

“Merry, remember you promised to take your medicine so that I can go adventure with you? How about this? Why don’t I make this a special drink so that when you drink it, it will make you better and not so headachy, all right?”

“How would you do that, Frodo?” asked a drowsy Merry.

“It’s magic and it’s my secret.”

Turning to Esme, he said, “My Mama used to put honey or something sweeter in the tea— Perhaps we can put a little flavoring into the drink?”

“Great idea Frodo! I will get it now.”

Esme, Frodo, Bilbo and Sara took turns throughout the day tending to Merry. Merry’s temperature was better by late afternoon, and Frodo was heartened.

“You should rest a bit, Frodo, my lad. You’ve been tirelessly, staying by Merry’s side the whole night and day,” said Bilbo a bit worriedly.

“No I’m fine Bilbo—I did nap a bit last night so it’s fine. I just hope Merry’s temperature goes down soon,” Frodo said as he watched the slumbering child.

“We do not want you sick, Frodo-lad,” said Bilbo stroking Frodo’s curls.

“All right Bilbo—I will sleep tonight if dear Merry is better.”

Suddenly, Merry woke and cried out, “Frodo! Frodo! Ma! Ma!”

Frodo and Esmeralda were at his side immediately.

“It’s just a dream, pumpkin. It’ll be all right,” cooed Esmeralda stroking Merry’s curls and kissing Merry gently on the cheek.

“What happened? I’m here, dearest Merry-mine, and I always will be,” Frodo said as he reached for Merry’s hand, squeezing it tight.

“Will you really?” Merry asked sounding a bit doubtful. His coarse voice was still only a whisper. “I dreamt—I dreamt—you were going somewhere terrible and that you wouldn’t bring me even though you had promised that you would. I –I --need to protect you Frodo!”

Frodo was very touched by his younger cousin’s desire to protect him. Although Frodo was fourteen years older than Merry, the child still wanted to do what he could to keep his beloved older cousin from harm. “I need to protect you too Merry,” Frodo said gently,” and first we must battle the sickness that you have. I want you to know that you can trust me to stick with you through thick and thin. You’re my best cousin too and I cannot let anything bad happen to you.”

Merry smiled as he put out his hand to reach his beloved cousin’s. “Let’s shake on it.”

“Of course! Now, how about some of my specially brewed willow, rosemary and licorice tea for your sore throat? This doesn’t taste bad, all right? “Frodo gently tipped the cup to little Merry’s mouth.

The cool liquid trickled down Merry’s throat, soothing it. Then, Frodo gave him the honeyed willow bark and Merry obediently swallowed that too without complaint.

“And now, you need some food too because with medicine, comes the food that will nourish you and make you bigger and stronger so you can battle goblins like Bilbo did on his Quest,” said Frodo as he presented the tray of chicken broth, toast, and carrots to Merry.

“Food? But I want to sleep,” whined Merry. “Goblins? Is it true that you fought goblins, Uncle Bilbo?”

“Well, in a way, yes. They were chasing after us. I did eat a lot when I had that awful cold in Laketown. That is why I used my wits so well before the negotiating with the Arkenstone and the Battle of the Five Armies. So you better eat, young Brandybuck-lad.”

“Frodo?” Merry looked pleadingly at Frodo.

“I agree with Bilbo—you must eat. How about I feed you? After eating, you can sleep.”

With Frodo’s unparalleled patience, Merry managed three-quarters of the broth and half of the mashed potatoes. After that meal, Merry smiled at Frodo and snuggled into his warm blankets and pillows and fell into a dreamless slumber.

Frodo, thoroughly exhausted as well, fell asleep too on the adjacent sofa, not yielding to the insistence that he should sleep in a proper bed.

The next morning, Frodo awoke to find himself in the bedroom he used to sleep in when he lived in Brandy Hall. I wonder who brought me here? I thought I fell asleep on Merry’s sofa.

Frodo wasted no time. He jumped out of bed, and rushed to Merry’s room where he saw Bilbo and Esmeralda talking while Merry slept on.

”Why did you move me?” he asked the older hobbits.

“You need to sleep well in a bed, dear Frodo-lad—you cannot get sick too,” Bilbo said.

“Besides, you’ve done more than enough,” added Esme, preparing the water pitcher by the bed. “Dear Frodo, you need to take care of yourself too and you need to know that you’re not the only one in charge of Merry even though I know you want to think that,” said Esme with a wink.

“Well, yes, I need to make sure that Merry gets better and that we can go on our adventure after he gets better. Did he sleep well last night, Cousin? Does he still have fever?” asked Frodo as he went to the edge of Merry’s bed and gently felt Merry’s forehead, which he found was cooler than yesterday.

“He’s definitely better. He doesn’t seem as feverish, but he still complains of a headache.

“Does he have to stay in bed though?” asked Frodo.

“It really depends how he feels—“

At that moment, Merry awoke and smiled to see so many hobbits waiting for him to wake. “Frodo! Mama!”

“How are you feeling, dear?” Esme asked.

“I’m… I’m…hungry,” said Merry.

“Hunger is a good sign—I am hungry too,” said Frodo as he leaned towards the bed to give Merry a good morning hug. “What’s for first breakfast?”  

Two days later, the fever broke completely and Merry was starting to be his cheerful self again. He was still coughing, but Amaryllis said that his infection was gone. She suggested that Merry not go outside for a while for fear of a relapse. Merry was still achy so he generally stayed in bed or sat on the sofa while Frodo played with him.

Frodo played all the games that Merry enjoyed. They made fun of weird words in the hobbit herbology book, played jacks, hide-and-seek, and farmers’ checkers. Frodo made sure that Merry didn’t overexert himself and encouraged him to take a nap in the afternoon. After Frodo told a story about one of Bilbo’s adventures, he observed that Merry had become very quiet.

“What are you thinking about, dear Merry?” asked Frodo.

Merry pouted, putting his lip forward and seemed like he was going to cry. “Are you leaving soon again, Frodo?”

Frodo drew the hobbit-lad towards him. “Yes I am, but tell you what. I am going to visit you every other week, and you will visit me as well you are as well. Your Mama and Bilbo have this arrangement that will enable us to see each other quite often.”

“So you are still going to leave?”

“Yes, but you can come along with me! It will be fine, Merry. Every time I visit with you, you will have such interesting stories to tell me, and I will have interesting things to tell you also. I’ve been writing to you every day just as I promised that I would.—don’t you want to read all my exciting adventures?”

“When can I visit you?”

“Anytime you wish—we can even meet halfway between Buckland and Hobbiton for an adventure. Bilbo says that we can go to the Woody End some time, and I know that the two of us will have lots of fun there as well. Maybe there will even be Elves.”

“Really? Will we meet Elves?” Merry’s eyes widened at the mention of Elves.

“We can see, hear and learn more than that, dearest Merry,” Frodo said, and he drew Merry in for a warm embrace. “I promise.”

Frodo ended up staying for two weeks at Buckland. He wanted to make certain that Merry was fully recovered before leaving. But more importantly, he stayed because he wanted Esmeralda to allow Merry to come with him to Hobbiton for Merry’s first visit.

“Well all right—I did promise you, didn’t I?” said Esmeralda.

“And you can’t go back on promises, dear,” said Saradoc. “I think we can let Frodo take care of Merry—You and I both know what a rascal he is and that Frodo is the only who can contain him.”

“I know we can trust you to look after Merry, Frodo. You always have and we know that you always will. The two of you are like brothers and I never worry about my little lad when he is with his cousin."

Frodo felt his cheeks flush with pride at Esmeralda’s words. “Thank you for trusting me, Esme. I promise to bring Merry back in five days.”

Merry was thrilled to go to Hobbiton with Bilbo and Frodo. “I guess you did keep your promise,” Merry said smiling at Frodo.

“I always do for favorite cousins,” replied Frodo with a grin, as he pulled Merry into a big hug.

“It all depends on what you want. You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin—to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours—closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo. Anyway: there it is. We know most of what Gandalf has told you. We know a good deal about the Ring… We are horribly afraid—but we are coming with you; or following you like hounds.” ~Merry, “A Conspiracy Unmasked”

27 Halimath, S.R. 1418

Frodo replayed these words in his mind before he went to bed at Crickhollow. He felt fortunate and grateful to have Merry, Pippin, and Sam follow him on the Quest. He remembered he uttered these words to Merry when he had been sick twenty-nine years ago.

Merry had grown into a fine young hobbit over the years. It sometimes seemed to Frodo that Merry had actually matured more quickly once Frodo had left Buckland to live with Bilbo. Although Merry always looked upon Frodo as a role model, the time that Merry had spent on his own had been good for him. Merry was a lover of books like Frodo had been, but he was also more cheerful and could be far more practical than Frodo had ever been. Frodo thought that Merry’s conspiracy was intelligently conducted. There was no question about it. Merry Brandybuck was a great one for planning things. Frodo chuckled softly and smiled. He was very proud of his Merry.

After leaving Buckland, Frodo visited Merry often. He tired to visit him every other weekend and to spend the holidays with Merry. Frodo kept his promises. He was always there for Merry. Frodo not only traveled to Buckland but also to Tookland where Pippin joined them in their adventures. As a bond between the three of them had cemented, Frodo found himself making arrangements to spend time with both cousins.

But would he really allow his young cousins and Sam to go with him to the end? He appreciated their concern and companionship, but he wished with all his heart that they wouldn’t follow him into such danger. Yet he was grateful and could not say no to them for they had done so much for him, and seemed resolute to go forward on the Quest.

Restless, Frodo wandered back to the sleeping quarters of Merry and Pippin and with all his heart blessed them and hoped that this adventure would not change them for the worse but instead that it would make them the wisest, bravest, most resilient hobbits in Middle-earth.

~fin~