This was a story born of the question about Faramir's post-Quest recovery given the fact that he did lose both brother and father in a short period of time and it must've been tough. I didn't feel that there was enough stories to address this. Also, Tolkien made it seem he recovered fast in the Houses of Healing with Eowyn but I think there is more to the story. Tolkien ended Faramir and Eowyn's story in "Many Partings" when they were betrothed and did not mention their fate in appendices or letters or even much in HOME (did mention they wed in 3020 in Rohan which is a very appreciated detail.) 

That night, Faramir ventured out to find the hobbits. He found that they were all recounting stories from the Quest and  felt heartened by being near them and learning more about what had befallen all of them. His road had not been the darkest. His reunion with Sam and Frodo was joyous and he was glad to see them healed. They had a grueling time in Mordor, the hardest road of them all. Sam was constantly looking after his master.  Frodo was still seemingly detached from the company. He asked him how he was.

“Frodo, the Ringbearer, has succeeded and it’s because of you we are celebrating now instead of all being destroyed.” Faramir embraced both Frodo and Sam. Sam blushed red as a tomato.

“I could not have done it without Sam, my dearest friend,” replied Frodo, smiling at Sam.

“You both had a difficult time and we are so grateful that you both made it back to us and he can rejoice as the Fourth Age begins. It is all because of you,” said Faramir. 

“We have been trying to get Cousin Frodo to smile and tell him that he did the best he could,” said Merry, nudging Frodo.

“He is still quiet, so we will talk to you about our adventures, Faramir,” said Pippin. “Did we mention the Ents and the storming of Isengard?”

“Those were the days before the war started, wasn’t it Pip? Before you got in trouble with the palantir? I told you not to go near that.”

“And you go on about Ents again, Pippin- they must have been amazing to see?” asked Sam.

The palantir… Even the slight mention of that made  Faramir feel queasy and his heartbeat increased. The rest of the conversation suddenly felt far and muted. He had never heard the full story about his father even now. He was too busy thinking of how to rebuild the city, that he had never really thought about how his father became ensnared by the enemy or any of the details. He shuddered, a cold sweat forming on his brow. Did he really want to know the whole truth? Faramir had gathered bits and pieces from Gandalf, but he had never sat down to listen to the full tale. He was recovering, then busy with coronation planning and the recovery of the city. He did not mean to remain ignorant.

“Faramir?”

Frodo looked at Faramir’s pale face, his gray eyes seemingly unfocused or looking far away deep in thought. “Are you all right?”

Faramir needed to hear the full story. He knew Pippin knew. “I desire to know the full tale. Pippin - you were there during his last moments… How exactly did Denethor …die? Please tell me.”

Pippin looked uncomfortable and downright apologetic. He looked at Merry, at Sam and then at Frodo, then at Faramir. No words would come out at first since he felt so ill at ease. 

“I thought that Gandalf had told you,” murmured Pippin.

“No, no one has told me the full tale, just bits and pieces, and I need to know now,” said Faramir firmly. What good lay in denial of what had occurred? It was no use avoiding the truth. He anticipated the worst.

“You came back from the retreat and Lord Denethor thought that you were dead. He lost all hope. He ordered the men to bring you to Rath Dinen.  The city was under siege. He wanted …to… burn himself and you…. together,” said Pippin quickly with tears in his eyes. “We knew he used the palantir because he was different all throughout the time during the Siege, especially after you were brought back. He wasn’t in his right mind and no one could sway him to reconsider his choice. Gandalf tried too. Beregond left his post and in order to prevent Denethor from doing the deed, slew the porter. Gandalf tried …to tell Denethor not to destroy himself but was not ….not … successful.” Pippin finished and looked down at his toes, biting his lip to keep himself from crying. Merry put his arm on Pippin. The other hobbits looked sadly at Faramir with pity and concern.

It was interesting that his father wanted him to accompany in death. At least Denethor wanted them together. No wonder he saw fire in his dreams; now they made sense.  

“I thank you for telling me the truth. I am grateful, and I fully understand why you and Mithrandir thought it wise to wait. I also know now why I keep dreaming of fire. ” Faramir reassured him, even as his own heart was breaking anew. He put his hands towards his eyes, shielding the tears that were threatening to gather. 

“You have to be careful of the dreams,” said Merry. “I dream a lot too, especially after I struck that evil Witch-king and the dreams have a dark aspect to it,” Merry shuddered, as Frodo pulled him close.

“Is that right?” Faramir asked. 

“Weren't you not alright in Bree, Merry? After you ventured out and Nob found you face down in the puddle?” asked Sam.

“Yes, and Strider told me to be careful and report to him if the dreams reoccur. Lady Eowyn, Faramir, and I suffered from the Black Breath,” said Merry. “Strider pulled us back from death with athelas. I’m so glad he came in the nick of time.”

“Have any dreams been recurring, Merry?” asked Frodo.

“I am better since you all have recovered, but it was hard anticipating at the Houses of Healing, and waiting for you all to wake,” said Merry quietly. “Pippin was injured, you two were recovering from …Mordor,” said Merry softly. “It’s a relief; I’m better now.”

“How about you, Faramir?” asked Frodo.

Faramir evaded the question. “I’m glad you're better now, Merry. Now please pardon me,” 

Faramir hastily took his leave of the hobbits despite their reluctance for him to part from them. He could not shake the deep sadness from the news of how his father perished. His heart felt heavy. He needed to collect his thoughts to prevent himself from doing anything rash.

TBC 

It was harder to sleep than past nights. Faramir tossed and turned in his bed until late. Even the sleeping draught Aragorn gave him wasn’t working. Faramir’s shoulder ached and every time he closed his eyes, the fire and hollow darkness threatened to swallow him whole? . It reminded him of his fevered dreams in the Houses of Healing. Was there no escape?

He wept quietly, remembering his father in all the good ways he could. Yes, he was harsh with him and they hadn’t seen eye to eye on many matters of state, but he was kind to him during his childhood and wanted the best for him. Even though he berated him for daydreaming, writing too much, and not paying attention in arms class nor valuing the sword as much as Boromir. 

Even though he clearly favored Boromir, he did not deserve such a fate. He would forgive his favoritism. All of Denethor’s life was dedicated to protecting Gondor. He had played his part but he shouldn’t have perished the way he did. He would learn in his heart to forgive him for he didn’t want to hold a grudge against the dead. But how could his father take his own life during such a key moment? Why did he use the palantir? He was not sure how to process that.

His weeping left him more tired than usual. He closed his eyes but all he could see was his father sending him out with no blessing. He would not have peace of mind concerning his father.  He could never say his final words. But did he care at the end? Is that why he wanted to burn him too? So that they could be together in the afterlife? Did it even make sense to have chosen life?

Faramir shivered, his tears subsiding but giving way to anxiety and fears that would not abate. He remembered when Aragorn drew him back from death and saved him in the Houses of Healing– how easy it was to not choose life. He was drawn back; he was holding out for something. Was it going to get easier to handle everything? He was hopeful, but his heart was heavy and he could not come to terms with how his father met his death. How was he going to say a few words at the funeral procession that he wanted to have?  How his father died was too tragic to mention. He could not say he fell into madness. What would others think about the line of Hurin? Would they mark him for a madman too?

He needed a strong drink. He kept some bottles hidden from view for when the pain was intolerable from thinking too much. Only a little could numb his senses. He could not change the past after all. 

He used to drink with Boromir and had played drinking games when he became of age. He did not drink in excess when he was on duty, but his friends and he did overindulge a little during a special occasion.  As a result, his tolerance was not the best. Usually only two drinks was his limit. Now, among the friends left to him which were few, he wasn’t sure when he was ready to use spirits to relax. He missed Boromir more than ever.

He went to his stores to grab a bottle of wine–he felt more relaxed after a long sip. The wine dulled his senses. After two glasses, he finally felt a bit drowsy. However, the drowsiness didn’t make him feel better. Instead, a strange darkness seemed to touch upon his consciousness. If there was no knock at the door, something seemed to want to grasp his subconscious and lead him astray. 

But the knock broke him out of his stupor and half dream. Faramir wondered who it could be this late. It was already two hours past midnight.

Faramir was so glad of who it was. Éowyn.

He opened the door quickly, “My dear Lady, It is good to see you but is something wrong that you came at so late an hour risking your reputation? No matter, though, I’ve missed you so much,” Faramir smiled and embraced his betrothed, and Éowyn’s smile brightened his heart immediately.  “How did you know I was in need of company?”

“Sleep has been elusive  – have you been sleepless as well, my love?”

“Yes, it has been hard to—I learned from the hobbits how—how— my father passed… today,” said Faramir with his voice wavering.  ”He…he took his own life and burned himself and wanted to do the same to me too.  Pippin, Mithrandir and Beregond saved me. I cannot sleep knowing this and the truth weighs heavily.”

“I’m so sad to hear this,” Éowyn looked upon Faramir with pity, wrapping him in her arms. His gray eyes were full of unshed tears and she saw the dark circles beneath them. “I'm so sorry about the circumstances around Lord Denethor’s death. Do not fault yourself for what has happened. I am sure your father appreciated you in the end. I apologize I have not been here for you. I’ve also been occupied and there’s much to do before we depart. And I cannot sleep thinking about you. Then I have been having odd dreams about slaying the Witch—” Éowyn couldn't finish, tears gathering in her eyes and falling down her cheeks.

“Shh, my dear, I understand,” and Faramir wrapped his arms around Eowyn tightly. Eowyn leaned in and took in the long embrace. “I’m here for you, I’m here for you.”

Éowyn gently kissed Faramir’s tear stained cheek and said, “I as well- just tell me how you’re feeling please.  We will depart in four days to Edoras to arrange the funeral, but I’ll be back. Will you be alright?”

“Yes, I'll be busy preparing for Denethor’s own funeral procession. We may need more than two days to prepare. Also, I need to settle where the homeless will be housed. And we need to draw up the plans for the first circle’s renovations—”

“Don’t overextend yourself -one thing at a time. You have the King to assist, and you still have to ride out to Edoras to meet me. I wish I could be here for Lord Denethor’s funeral ceremony.  How will you fare? Since you have not been sleeping well and doing too much, you also need to be mindful of your own health.”

Faramir was touched by Éowyn's concern. “You as well. But I’ll be well enough- knowing that you are with me makes me so glad.”

“So glad– and you’re drinking wine without me?” Éowyn gestured towards the third empty bottle and looked at him quizzically.

“I could not sleep,” started Faramir. “The King prescribed me something, but it hasn't worked. And, at times, I’ve been having strange dreams.”

“Neither could I– seek me out instead, and don’t do anything drastic, my Prince,” admonished Eowyn, laying her hands on his and leaned forward to kiss him gently on the cheek. “What do you see in your dreams?”

“Of course I would not,” replied Faramir, kissing Eowyn back, holding onto her hands tightly. He didn’t realize he was shaking. “Please be safe riding back to Edoras. I’ll miss you so much. I miss you already. Regarding my dreams—I–I – can’t speak of them yet,” a shadow of weariness passed and Faramir leaned into Eowyn. The wine had helped but not in the way he intended. He felt out of sorts and there was still a darkness that seemed to want to snatch him. He shuddered, but Eowyn pulled him closer and he felt more at ease and the darkness receded. He snuggled closer to Éowyn. She stroked his raven hair and held onto his hands.

“Yes, I will not either. They’re dark, and I feel like I'm before an abyss all the time, and then I wake in tears, remembering my dear uncle, my cousin’s last words. I dream of the numerous orcs and blood during the battle, and then, then… then i can’t sleep the rest of the night,” finished Éowyn. She held onto Faramir’s waist and then kissed him once more. She felt comforted by his presence, willing him to also feel the same.

They fell into silence for a moment just comforted by each other’s company. Faramir had to be strong for his fair maiden. Éowyn looked sad like how she was at the Houses of Healing. Faramir forgot his own sorrow and spoke words of solace to Éowyn, stroking her long yellow hair.

They talked about happier topics, about the betrothal ceremony and about the trip to Rohan. After speaking for an hour, both felt weary enough to sleep. Faramir escorted Éowyn to her guest quarters.

“Thank you for coming by, my dear Lady,” Faramir kissed Éowyn’s hand, bowed, said goodbye, and walked slowly back to his room. He felt better, but he was still afraid that the nightmares would return.

Faramir fell into a fitful sleep. Images of dark and fire kept rousing him. Waking right before sunrise, Faramir decided to slip into the office earlier to begin work to keep his mind occupied. His appetite was on and off these days, but he found himself hungry after consuming the wine a few hours before.  Recently he relied on strong coffee to keep him awake at all hours of the day when he felt tired which was quite frequent. 

He drew up tentative ceremonial seating arrangements, made assignments for ushers, prepared an announcement to inform the city about the pending funeral procession, and made a list of veteran soldiers who died, all before the Council was due to meet at two hours to noon. Then he left the drafts at the King’s desk for him to look at.

Faramir felt accomplished but also melancholy. He took a walk to clear his mind and get a breath before the meeting, which would take a lot of energy. The list of the dead were mostly people he knew and some he had been close to. It was a lot to process. He sat on a bench in the garden, one of the few in the city that was not mowed down by the enemy, and lowered his head in grief but no tears came. 

TBC

Chapter 4-Ceremony for the Dead

It took four full days to make adequate preparations for the funeral ceremony for Steward Denethor, Captain Boromir, and other fallen soldiers and civilians. The Council, King, Steward, and Prince Imrahil decided to have a small ceremony to read out the names of the fallen and light special candles for Denethor and Boromir to honor them. They announced to all of Minas Tirith to come and a good number of citizens came to honor the dead. Faramir thought it was hard to express his feelings but he would try to do his best despite the heaviness he felt. All the Fellowship were   present. 

The ceremony was arranged in the typical colors of Gondor- white and black. The weather had cooperated with the sun and clear skies. They held the open ceremony where the King was crowned. During the ceremony, there were somber moments of silence, followed by lighting of large white candles  Two larger white candles dedicated to Denethor and Boromir  which were arranged in the front. Flowers were also strewn in front by those who have lost loved ones. There were also letters to heaven to loved ones that have passed. 

The King started with the remarks, “We come here today to honor the fallen. We come together to remember our Steward Denethor, Lord Boromir. Let it not be forgotten how much they have given this city. Let us remember the sacrifices that were made for this moment to come. It is Lord Denethor who kept all of us safe against the Enemy and we must remember his ultimate sacrifice.”

Faramir continued, “I’ve been called to continue the legacy that our Steward created. He was a wise man, noble, strong, and loved our country with all his heart. He gave Gondor his all and may he rest in peace knowing that. May we not forget how he led us all these years under the Shadow. HIs strength was unsurpassed; he was the greatest leader we have seen and I will remember him as a strong and fair father. He taught me wisdom, strength, and justice. He raised Boromir and I to love Gondor, to serve her to our best capability. May his spirit rest with the Valar, beyond the confines of the world! “

Faramir paused, tears gathering but he went on, “For my brother, Boromir– he— will be missed for his strength, wisdom, and companionship. May we never forget his sacrifice to find the truth. Let us never forget the sacrifices he made to retake Osgiliath and to lead our armies in combat. With his leadership, we kept the Enemy away. WIth his tactics, he led with foresight and skill in making the toughest decisions. As a brother, he was the best role model I can ever wish to have. His companionship is sorely missed. He taught us all about what strength means and may Gondor flourish forever more. I loved him more than life, brother of my heart forever. We…everyone would be so lucky to have a brother as I did, and ….“ Faramir paused, tears gathering, but he continued, “and I wish him rest in peace.”

“We need to also honor all the fallen soldiers and their families.  Remember them every Gondorian New Year, we shall light candles for them. May this day be remembered as the Day of Remembrance every year.”

And then, Aragorn and Faramir led the people to sing for the fallen.The Gondorians sang, weeping with heads down.

“My thoughts will return to the sound of your laughter

The magic of moving as one

And a time we'll remember long ever after

The moonlight and music and dancing are done

Will we climb the hills once more?

Will we walk the woods together?

Will I feel you holding me close once again?

Will every song we've sung stay with us forever?

Will you dance in my dreams or my arms until then?”

Under the moon the mountains lie sleeping

Over the lake the stars shine

They wonder if you and I will be keeping

The magic and music, or leave them behind.”**

Then, Aragorn sang the song he dedicated to Boromir at the Falls of Rauros:

"From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past the roaring falls;

And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.

"What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?

What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away."

"Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.

His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.

His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;

And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast."

"O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze

To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days."***

Then, Pippin said a few words each about Boromir, “I knew he was a good Big Person- as we say in my country. He taught my kinsman and I how to fight. He was a loyal member of our Fellowship. He kept the mood light and protected us. He fought bravely during the last stand against the Enemy, and I’m sure he loved all of you. May he rest in peace in the Halls of Mandos. Boromir the Brave, I will always honor him, and serve Gondor always in your memory.”

Members of the Council and Prince Imrahil were each assigned to read all the names of the fallen soldiers taking a good half hour.

Faramir felt heavy at heart and tears gathered and he wept silently. Aragorn was beside him, his arm on his shoulder. The hobbits were also beside him.

“I hope that you will come to me, if you need, my friend. We will get through this together,” said Aragorn.

“You spoke well. We will always remember the sacrifices Denethor and Boromir made,” added Frodo solemnly.

“You represent them as we usher in a new age of hope and peace. Let their sacrifices be rewarded with you in their stead to do well for Gondor,” said Gandalf. He had always admired Denethor’s younger son and  developed a great bond with him. That was the reason why he listened to Pippin to save Faramir in the critical moment when he had to choose between continuing to lead the defense or to come to the aid of Faramir. He did not decide lightly on what to do at that time. He was sad he could not save Denethor but glad he saved Faramir and it would be important to have him by Aragorn’s side for rebuilding Gondor and Middle-earth.

“Thank you,” Faramir felt relieved and grateful for his new friends, but he couldn't help the anxious thoughts that continued to chase each other in his mind.

Later that day, there was a ceremonial feast to honor the fallen. While there was food and drink aplenty, Faramir did not feel like staying to entertain. He toasted to his brother and father in the typical fashion in the beginning in front of the guests. Then, he asked permission from the King to be excused and went back to his home early. 

“Will you be alright?” the King asked before Faramir left. 

“I just need some time and space,” replied Faramir. “Thank you for continuing this–I am just weary.”

“Why of course- we know that it has been a long day and I thank you for your planning in this. We would not have had this without your contributions.”

“Yes, it's the least I can do–but please excuse me. I will report earlier tomorrow to see if there is anything left to be done.”

“It’s all right, Faramir, go rest. Let me know if you need more of the sleeping draught as well.” Aragorn’s eyes looked at Faramir with sympathy and his eyes trailed the Steward with concern.

Faramir could not sleep at all that night after the funeral and relied on the wine to help him numb at least some of the pain. At least he can fall asleep somewhat inebriated to make him forget his despair temporarily. The next morning would be another story but first he had to get through the night when unexpected dreams emerged .

…

Faramir did not know what to do with Boromir and Denethor’s personal items. They had no formal body to bury their things with. Did he keep all the items in storage or burn it? . He had to make a decision.

He looked through his brother’s items with admiration; he saw his clothing, swords, and jewelry all arrayed neatly in the room. He felt that he wanted to keep everything there for memory's sake. He saw an old fencing sword, reminding him of their first lesson together, and tears welled in his eyes. Another item-  a picture of them when they first enlisted in the army arm in arm, smiling as they entered manhood. What does one do with the memories and items of the past?

He was not ready to completely let go and get rid of his family’s items.. Everything seemed to be happening too fast. Therefore, he ordered the servants to put many items in storage except for many of Denethor’s clothing, which he felt he could do without. The items in his office were also prepared to be thrown out. Denethor had already dealt with most of Boromir’s clothing at least but certain personal items were still left in the room. Faramir wondered  about  that but did not want to think further about what Denethor would want with Boromir’s items.

Funerals were supposed to be a time for closure.  Faramir wanted to decide which of at least his brother’s belongings served as a good keepsake, a memory. He wanted to sort that out when he didn’t feel so sorrowful. There was too much loss to deal with at the moment.

Thinking about these decisions made Faramir’s heart melancholy again and an unexpected headache started to occur. He tried to get rid of it by massaging his head and drinking some water but the headache remained. Then he got up and started to pace but it did not alleviate his anxiety. Finally after an hour of pacing, his headache abated a little, and he felt weary enough to fall into an uneasy sleep full of increasingly dark dreams.

**Song from Ashokan Farewell- Jay Ungar

*** from “The Two Towers”

…TBC…

Chapter 5 - Worries and Concerns

Éowyn had left before the funeral ceremony, but she was worried. She was worried about Faramir. After the first night when she walked into him drinking, the subsequent two nights, she lay witness to Faramir talking in his dreams and waking frequently. She did not stay the night but made sure he fell asleep again before she left quietly. She kept her hand on his forehead to calm and soothe, and he felt him calm upon her touch. However, when she probed him to speak of the nightmares, and gave him some tea to assuage the fears and keep him present, he would be closed off, not offering any insight to his dreams or opening up to her. 

“I’m fine, dear lady, just a dream, just a dream,” he had insisted. He didn’t want his lady to worry about him as she had to ride off to Rohan. He will recover from the dreams; he always had.

“I do not think you’re alright and you have to let me know how to aid you,” replied Eowyn insistently. “I am opening up to you, and you have to do the same.”

Faramir would not reply. He felt a headache coming on and felt no energy to explain.  “I will be fine, my lady. Now, please excuse me-I have work to do.” Escaping to his office, he did not leave time for any more questions from Eowyn.

Eowyn tried to find him in the morning, but he would have already departed for the day for meetings. Faramir didn’t make time to talk. Finding him during the day was hard -it was either a meeting or he was in his study, closed off.

Faramir was not making things easy, making Eowyn feel upset. She understood his busy mood was because of funeral preparations and duties, but this was not how she wanted to leave. She felt anxious so she went to the hobbits, Merry and Pippin for advice.

She found them with Frodo, Sam, Legolas, and Gimli.  She smiled at them for they seemed to enjoy each other’s company, still recollecting the Quest and filling in the gaps for Frodo to remember to write.

“You all have to talk about the Ents again and how they made you so tall,” Sam said.

“And I still did not tell you how we came up from the river to Gondor so quickly,” Gimli interrupted.

“And i have to tell you who won the battle of killing orcs at Helm’s Deep and that a certain dwarf may have won our game,” said Legolas.

“Frodo will have to be locked up in the tower in Minas Tirith and write it all down. Otherwise he will forget half of it, and poor old Bilbo will be dreadfully disappointed,” said Pippin *** 

“Is that right?” Eowyn said with a grin.

“My lady!” Merry said. “Welcome to us telling stories that must be in Frodo’s book. Do you have one to add? Please tell them how brave I was in slaying the Witch-king with you!”

“That is indeed a tall order,” said Eowyn. “I will share that soon, do not worry. The book will be many many pages. I am sure I would like to read when it’s done. May I speak to you, Merry, alone?”

“What happened?” Pippin asked. “Can I come too?”

“No, nothing is wrong but I am leaving tomorrow and I just want to say my farewell for now. We need to bring our soldiers and horses back to Rohan and then return to take King Theoden too, when the funeral is ready for him in Rohan. But I need a favor from you two,” Eowyn motioned the two hobbits over.

“What happened, my lady?” asked Merry, eyes wide with concern.

Eowyn replied, “I know the funeral for Lord Denethor is tomorrow- I would like to know how Lord Faramir will be in my absence. He has been having dreams lately…and I worry.”

“What kind of dreams?” asked Pippin.  

“Yes, we mentioned how his father passed away just a couple days ago and we talked about the Black Breath during our conversation,” said Merry. “He said nothing about the specifics of his dreams to us either.”

“We need to be on the lookout for him!” said Pippin with resolve. “Is that what you want, my lady?”

“Why yes,” said Eowyn with a smile. The hobbits always made her smile and she was a bit more at ease that the Fellowship was still there. If anything, they could look after her betrothed until they meet again. “You also write to me please if anything is amiss.”

As if Merry was reading her mind, “Yes, we will make it our duty to see how our Steward is. We will make sure he will ride out to Edoras so that he can pay respects to King Theoden—”

“And propose to you in Rohan!” Interrupted Pippin.

Eowyn laughed, “You are all scheming hobbits, but I thank you. Please take good care all of you. ” Then she left and said her goodbyes to the other hobbits and companions and went to Faramir’s quarters.

“What was that about?” asked Frodo.

“Yes, what did our lady require of us?” asked Sam.

“She just wants us to look after Faramir which makes sense,” said Merry softly.  He had remembered Faramir’s healing in the Houses of Healing. He had made sure there was something to occupy him and he felt that there was more to do now than ever. That is why he made sure to introduce the White Lady of Rohan to him. They could mend each other’s hurts. Merry saw in Eowyn’s eyes her need to die in the battlefield, while he learned from Beregond and Pippin the foul mood that took Faramir to ride out to defend Minas Tirith.

“We need to make sure Faramir is well and ready to go to Edoras,” said Pippin.

“Is he suffering from dreams?” asked Frodo quietly.

Everyone looked at Frodo. “Why yes, cousin, that was the concern,” said Merry. “We did tell him to beware the Black Breath.”

“Well everyone is recovering,” Frodo’s blue eyes had a deep look of understanding and his heart wringed with pity. “We should make sure he will be alright tomorrow during the ceremony. We need to see that the work meetings don’t go too long after tomorrow. I’ll ask Strider about seeing him.”

The hobbits, Gimli, and Legolas nodded in agreement to spare some eyes on the Steward, and in the meantime, they continued to talk about lighter matters to keep the hope bright in the new age.

 **taken from Steward and the King, Return of the King 

TBC

“You need to trust me and tell me about everything,” said Eowyn .

“I…am fearful, and I will with time, my dear lady. You’ve helped me a lot already,” replied Faramir resolutely.

“Then let me help you more,” pleaded Eowyn.

“I don’t want darkness to rob us of love and happiness even now. The war is over, let’s try to mend the hurts it has caused.“

“You need to mend also. You need to tell me how I can help!”

“The dreams- they’re dark and I feel like…falling sometimes and I can’t return if…if…” Faramir grabbed Eowyn’s hand and sank slowly sitting on the bed. “But …I… am on the mend- I’m mending the city and that helps …” 

Tears gathered in his eyes and Eowyn just held him close, stroking his raven hair, whispering words of solace .“You should let the King know about this. He will advise you. And know you’re not alone.”

Faramir gathered himself as best he could, muttering words to assure Eowyn he’ll be alright. He stood up and changed the topic, “I have to propose a toast to you for our impending marriage after all and need your brother, the King's blessing,” Faramir smiled wanly. He took a deep breath and firmly said he would be all right, wished Eowyn well on her trip, and promised that he’ll join her soon.

Eowyn had left the next morning with the Rohirrim. She had insisted he write to her, and Faramir said that he would . They departed after a warm embrace. Faramir looked out West as far as his eyes could see to see any trace of Rohan but of course it was too far. His most beloved, his anchor to the present had departed for the time being.

During the time after the funeral Faramir kept occupied with meetings to rebuild Gondor. He had planning meetings on building memorials, on where homeless would be housed, and for reparations for veteran soldiers’ families. The last part of visiting soldiers’ families was challenging. He visited at least two families daily. He felt pangs of pity and despair for the soldier’s families keenly. However, some of those families were becoming good friends of his. There was one young man named Belegion who especially liked it when Faramir visited him. Belegion had also lost his older brother in battle on the Pelennor Fields. Faramir felt Belegion’s pain of losing a brother as well therefore Faramir also started to feel a strong bond with him.

The dreams did come when he felt anxious or too overwrought, and they were more frequent than from before the funeral and Eowyn leaving. Additionally, there was still a darkness with the dreams he couldn’t understand, and he felt increasingly anxious. 

Faramir relied on a drink or two to help numb his anxiety and fall into uneasy sleep when sleep did not come. He was starting to accumulate empty bottles, but he threw them out before the servants came in. He kept promising himself it would not be a habit. If he had time, he would ask the King about a more healthy way to fall asleep and deal with despair.  However, he always found himself talking only about business with the King, unwilling to let his guard down about his insomnia or dreams even when he inquired. He did not want anyone to worry about him and wanted to deal with his dreams alone.

“Faramir, how do you fare– I shall come and look at you after today’s meetings,” said Aragorn.

“No, I am alright- your sleeping drought has helped, there is no need. My King, please look over this plan for the memorial on the first level–” and Faramir changed the topic quickly.

“Are you certain? It is no inconvenience to me. It would be no difficulty. I will supply another drought since it’s helping.“ Aragorn made a note to himself to do so despite the protests that day. Faramir looked tired and despite the energy he has shown in meetings, he was still concerned.  Faramir looked a bit unfocused and drained, too pale even though he did not admit it.

“I feel fine- I would like to have an answer about this memorial location for the architects tomorrow if you so please. Thank you my lord,” and Faramir bowed, then disappeared into his office with no extra words.

The hobbits would find him when he didn’t have meetings . They asked him how he was faring, if he missed Eowyn, how was his sleep. He always nodded that he was fine.  And he was fine. He couldn’t help but smile and be gladdened at the inquisitiveness of hobbits.

The same day that Aragorn inquired about him, he bumped into Gandalf between meetings in the courtyard of Gondor. Faramir hadn’t spoken to Gandalf for a while and was glad to see him.

“Hobbits are always great companions.”

“Yes, one or two in the company are always good but three to four of them is a blessing indeed,” replied Gandalf. He offered some pipeweed to Faramir and he took it gladly, glad to be smoking with an old friend. He breathed into the weed then felt a bit more relaxed. 

“They are strong and will get through these times; I do worry for Frodo because of the burden that he long carried,” said Gandalf thoughtfully.

Faramir felt pity and wondered about that. Would Frodo find peace in Middle-earth? He really hoped he could find peace eventually. It would be so upsetting if he couldn’t enjoy it given the amount of sacrifice he did. “Do you think he needs to return to his Shire to be at peace?”

“The Shire is also not how we all left it,” said Gandalf gravely. “I fear that it was not safe-guarded during the war so maybe Sauron’s agents have had a chance to enter.”

“Hopefully not,” replied Faramir with a sigh. “The war has taken enough.” He felt suddenly sad and angry again, unable to shake the melancholy. It was unfair what the hobbit had gone through and still had to go through. Was there no respite from defeating the Enemy?

“And how are you feeling, my dear lad?” Gandalf perceived a change in mood and looked into Faramir’s grey, somber eyes.

Faramir hadn’t heard him being called lad for a while and laughed out loud, “Truly, I am grown of age and not that young anymore. I am feeling fine, just keeping occupied. There is a lot to restore. I intend to make memorials in the land that was wrecked by the Enemy in the south lot next to the Silent Street, and make some gardens in the area where that pub was destroyed in the first level…We need to honor the fallen–”

“Faramir, how are you feeling?”

“Do you ask about something particular, or is this a general inquiry?” Why was the wizard asking about him now?  He did not like this question being asked . Everyone meant well, but he could care for himself. He felt strangely agitated, heart rate increased, and turned the other way. But he could not avoid Gandalf’s intense look upon him.

“What I mean is, there is a reason why the hobbits are wondering about you. We want to know how you are and there are dangers to keeping things to yourself. It’s a lot to process these days, and we are all adapting to change.”

“Then please allow yourself to tell me how Denethor passed,” replied Faramir hotly. His turn of character was uncharacteristic, but he suddenly felt frustrated with this important matter. He hadn’t talked to Gandalf about it in detail and maybe it was time to do so. He did not need the truth to be evaded and wanted to make sure of the past so he could go on in the future.

“There is nothing left unsaid that the hobbit Peregrin did not already say,” replied Gandalf calmly. “What else do you want to know about the tragedy?”

What else did he want to know? That was a valid question. “Did he mention me at all? Did he care if I lived or died? Did he want me to accompany him and would that have been a bad thing ? Does he …” Faramir sat down and felt a certain darkness creep back in on the periphery and felt tears in his eyes. Those were the most important questions. But how could anyone give him closure? It was not like he could have a conversation with a dead person. Who really understood Denethor in his last moments ?

“I’m sure he remembered and loved you before the end,” replied Gandalf and he put his hand on Faramir’s shoulder and felt the Steward tense up. “I told you before you left to defend Osgiliath that he’ll remember before the end.  Your father loved you, Faramir.  Cease to think otherwise. You are invaluable as Prince and Steward now . Are you feeling well enough?”

“Only weary all of sudden,” Faramir felt a headache and an odd chill spreading from his shoulder as well. He closed his eyes. He felt light-headed.

“We shall not speak about this– you look very pale.” Gandalf felt Faramir’s quickened heart rate on his arm.  

“No, I am fine,” sighed Faramir and opened his eyes. “Only a headache. Please pardon me.” Faramir took a step forward and involuntarily swayed a bit and sat down again immediately.

But Gandalf held onto Faramir’s arm, preventing him from falling and pressed him, “Are these frequent? You do not look well.” 

“No, I am better now,” Faramir insisted. “Sometimes…sometimes I have headaches. I’ll …I’ll …just take a moment.” He was sitting down already, but it did not help. He panted, peripheral darkness seemed to invade his line of sight; he rubbed his eyes to no avail. He put his hand to his forehead; the headache was overwhelming.

“I am calling for Aragorn to see how you are. We must not be careless,” and Gandalf left in a hurry.

Faramir closed his eyes wearily, breathing hard. Before he knew it, a menacing, smoldering darkness closed in and he was falling, unable to control the descent.

Dark shadows loomed.

A booming voice like his father was in the background, “You’re a wizard’s pupil!!”

It seemed the Enemy had won and made everything darkened and unclean. Black clouds lay upon a red sky. Blood was spilled everywhere. His dead comrades’ bodies lay in the courtyard next to where the White Tree was, some with heads some without, butchered with no remorse . The result of the rout of the Causeway Forts was clearly before him.  Tears and dirt stung his eyes.

It was so cold. He did not feel this cold since he charged forth with his company to retake Osgiliath and he felt the wretched Nazgul at his tail.

No! We had won through, but why was it so dark? He walked and tried to find the way back home and familiarity.

The darkness seemed to want to enclose, but suddenly there was a voice calling him, a light beaming towards him amidst the horror seen.

…

“Faramir! Faramir! Come back, come back to the light.  Faramir! Lasto beth nîn, tolo dan nan galad.”

“Faramir!”

He felt strong hands set him up to a sitting position. Athelas permeated the air. He awoke groggily and with great effort, opened his eyes, breathing hard, and looked around and saw the concerned eyes of Aragorn, Gandalf and the hobbits peer at him in worry and distress. A mug of warm tea was given to him to sip. He was lying on the bench in the courtyard.

“What happened? It is … cold and …. dreams were ….awful,” Faramir couldn’t stop shivering though he felt that there were blankets wrapped around him. He was trying to calm down, but his mind was racing.

“The Black Breath still has a hold on you.,” said Aragorn, touching Faramir’s forehead then shoulder which was cool to the touch. “How often are the nightmares?  Your condition was more serious than I thought, Faramir. You were not truthful to me.”

“I think… they …started a week ago, I …am …not certain,” Faramir closed his eyes. His pounding headache would not abate. His shoulder felt numb with cold. He could hardly sit up without aid.

“Then tell us what’s on your mind, be forthcoming!  Please also have some more water,” Aragorn helped hand a mug to the Steward and guided it to his lips.

Faramir sipped the water, “I will be fine–”

“Truly you are not fine. Lady Éowyn and the hobbits also told me about your nightmares. You need to be truthful,” said Aragorn. “Did you swoon before or this is the first time?”

“I did not swoon before. I was better- this is a sudden onset. I am not sure what caused this,” admitted Faramir. 

“I will give you something for the headaches and shoulder, and I need you to rest for at least the remainder of the day.”

 “Why am I afflicted with the Black Breath? I thought I had healed in the Houses of Healing?  Is Eowyn going to be alright?”

“The Black Breath can occur with feelings of guilt, worry, grief, and being overly burdened. My Lord Faramir, you must rest for at least a couple of days. This is an order,” said Aragorn firmly.  “Lady Eowyn was fine when she left for Rohan. ” 

“The best way to defeat the Black Breath is with relaxation, friends and positive thoughts,” added Gandalf. “You must heed our advice, Faramir.”

“We will make sure you are well taken care of, Lord Faramir,” chipped in Sam. “You are, after all, a man of great quality.”

“Let us know what we can do to help you, Faramir!” The younger hobbits added.

“You must take care and open up; the Black Breath is not going to leave on its own,” said Frodon softly. 

“It’s dark by yourself- you need to tell us about the dreams,” Merry added determinedly.

Faramir did not feel like speaking, he felt abnormally weary, and his headache persisted.  “I will go to my quarters then for rest.”  The pull of the nightmare was so strong he almost felt he couldn’t get out of it before. That has not happened before.

“I will come with you,” Aragorn said. “But I will also need to get some feverfew and a few other herbs from the apothecary for the headache. Gandalf, why don’t you help me escort the Steward? Merry and Sam, please go to the apothecary for the herbs, lavender, honey, chamomile, feverfew and willow bark.”

“Of course!” said Merry.

Gandalf and Aragorn walked arm and arm to bring the Steward back to his home and settled him into his bed, making sure the proper medicines were there with a kettle of water and extra mugs. Aragorn did not want to take a chance with anything. He used an Elvish chant to place Faramir in a healing sleep, one that would not be interrupted by dreams. He set a watch for him and the Fellowship obliged to keep more than one eye on for relapse.

TBC

Fire.

There was fire and it felt unnaturally hot, a glimpse of his father in grief in his last moments… he did cry for him, setting a vigil, but was it really real?

Then Boromir appeared in a boat, his face pale but still beautiful in death. The sound of the horn was still so close but he could do nothing to help him at the last moment.

“Do you know why I favor Boromir?”

“Do you know why you are second best?”

“No, father, I only try my best but why is that not enough? Where does my allegiance lie if not here?”

“Why would it be enough? You are a wizard’s pupil and not my son!”

“I wish for your places to be exchanged!”

Then it was dark and cold. A sense of foreboding so strong he could barely breathe overwhelmed him. He tried to center himself but could not. The cold strengthened and the dark became a tangible thing.

 “Faramir ! Wake up! It’s just a dream!”

Faramir sat up, thrashed about, gasping, breathing hard. Strong arms prevented him from falling. He felt both cold and hot.  Tears gathered in his eyes, terrified.  It was the middle of the night.

“Faramir, just a dream. Just a dream. Wake, my lad. Wake!” 

Faramir opened his eyes blearily and saw Aragorn and Imrahil beside him. A smell of athelas cleared him from the dark dreams, and a warm mug of water was placed in his lips. His shoulder was cold and aching, almost numb, but he felt a warm compress on it. Cold sweat had accumulated on his forehead. He closed his eyes again.

“Sorry–”

“There is no need to apologize. Please tell us what happened.”

“It was dark, felt like I’m falling …I am….lost,” Faramir hadn’t been so honest for a long time. “Why …can’t …I control this?” He opened his eyes searching Aragorn’s eyes for answers.

“You will. You have to let us know how you truly feel.”

“My dear lad, you need to be honest,” his uncle added. Imrahil held Faramir’s hand which was cold.  

Faramir thought about the last time he was honest– it has been so long since he truly did what he wanted. His whole life was for Gondor or his father or of duty. He sighed and closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillows. It was hard to even know what he truly desired at times. The war had taken so much, but he had told Eowyn and himself once the Ring was destroyed that there was hope and the darkness would not endure. Why was it so easy to tell others that and not believe it wholly himself?

“Faramir? We are with you. Please open up to us.”

“It will… take… time,” he said slowly as he opened his eyes to see the concerned faces of the King and Prince upon him, glad that it was not dark, that he was not swallowed up in the darkness that threatened.  “I dreamt of Boromir…in the funeral boat…I miss him,” he said quietly. “I dreamt– of Father dismissing me,” tears came to his eyes.

“Yes, we understand that. I miss Boromir too. I am glad you realize that we all need time, especially you. You will defeat the darkness. Share more with us if you can,” said Aragorn gently, putting his arm on Faramir’s shoulder.  

Faramir shivered, “I can’t right now– I…am …fearful.”

“Calm, my lad. You will be alright. We are here.” Aragorn prepared some more athelas for Faramir and double checked the compress upon his shoulder. “Take a deep breath. You are safe.”

“I’m staying in Minas Tirith for a while,” added Prince Imrahil. “My favorite nephew seems to need some support.  You are not alone.”

“Thank you. I did not know you were here in the city.”

“I heard from the King that you are not well and I want to be here for you,” said Prince Imrahil.

Faramir glanced at Aragorn. “You need as many people around you as possible to get through the Black Breath.”

“I brought your favorite books from the library,” said Prince Imrahil, trying to keep his nephew distracted from the fear and grief.

“Why thank you,” replied Faramir with a smile. He had not read for leisure for a while, being obsessed with Gondor’s recovery. It would be nice to read his favorite poetry and history. He was glad for his uncle’s kindness .

“Rest again and fear no darkness. You are safe amongst friends and family. We need you, Steward. Show us your strength as you always have. Now I'm going to take a rest and let me know if you need anything. Please be forthcoming. I will come first thing in the morning.  If you cannot sleep, there is a natural Elvish herb that can aid in anxiety and sleeplessness.” Aragorn left some instructions to Imrahil for the teas. 

“Thank you, my King. I appreciate your care.” Faramir said. 

Prince Imrahil stayed at his nephew’s bedside. Faramir was not speaking and looked towards the window deep in thought.  He still looked weary and pale, face pinched in weariness.

“What are you wondering about, dear nephew? You know you can speak to me. As the King said, you are safe amongst us– please do not walk alone in the shadows.”

“I am a bit afraid to fall back asleep– the last two times, the dreams seem to pull me down and I have trouble waking.”

“How long has this been happening?”

“A week or so…I thought I was alone–”

“You are never alone, my lad,” said Imrahil. “I am still here.” He looked at his only nephew with love. He had always thought that Finduilas’ second son was special and did not understand Denethor’s preference for Boromir. He had always encouraged and advised Faramir, and Faramir had shown tremendous fortitude and strength throughout the campaign against the Enemy. There was a reason why the Gondorian people held Faramir to high esteem.

“Don’t forget you are loved and respected among many.  Let us be there for you. Speak your mind and feel free to rest –the King said you still have the Black Breath- you need to focus on the positive. You are strong and brave. If you’re well enough tomorrow or day after, we can take a ride out of the city, concentrate on the beauty that remains in our lands instead of just rebuilding.”

“Thank you,” Faramir sighed and did feel encouraged by his kin’s thoughts. “That is a good recommendation.” The coldness abated a bit, but his heart was still racing.  He could not stop thinking of the darkness. His shoulder throbbed.  It was some time before his heart slowed to normal and he ceased shaking.

“What troubles you, my lad?” “Are you still in pain?”

“A headache,” said Faramir as he closed his eyes and leaned back into the pillows. 

“The King prescribed this tea for headaches. Please have some.” Imrahil gave Faramir another mug with a strong feverfew herb tea mixed with chamomile flavor. Faramir sipped it slowly.

“Now you can rest, my lad.” Imrahil held onto Faramir’s hand to ease his shaking, giving one more blanket to wrap around Faramir’s body. He lay his hand on his forehead.  “Do you want to talk some more?”

Faramir shook his head. If he were alone, he would have some wine but he did not want anyone to know he had depended on it. He wanted that route to be temporary. The tea helped too and slowly, he started to feel a bit drowsy and closed his eyes reluctantly.

TBC

The next day, Faramir opened his eyes to sunshine peeping through the curtain outside. Had he slept the day away? He felt like he was getting over a long bout of flu. He sat up in bed gingerly, seeing that his shoulder was wrapped again and there were many blankets and herbal teas at his bedside.

Yesterday’s events came to Faramir in pieces. He remembered being pulled out of dark dreams, the kind which left him disoriented. He remembered a bit too much attention given by the hobbits, Aragorn and even his uncle. But weren’t they just dreams? 

He would not like to dwell. He stood up gingerly and pulled the curtains open with his good hand and felt the warming sunshine in his limbs. He was heartened by sunshine. He quickly dressed, ready to leave his room, but he was met with a hobbit at his door.

“Good morning, Steward! Where do you think you are going?” Pippin was there  outside, barring the door. “King’s orders are to rest! Have you forgotten? How are you feeling? Aragorn will come soon and tell me you cannot exit.”

Faramir laughed, “But I am better today. I feel fine. I have no headache. What time is it?”

“King’s orders- rest for a few days. It is almost two hours till noon. You were quite ill, Steward,” replied Pippin gravely. “Just last night! Do you not remember?”

Faramir sighed. “All right, may I be directed to some food- surely a good meal is something that I desire.”

“I will make the order known!” Pippin dashed towards the kitchen. 

Faramir did feel an ache in his shoulder, glad it was not as cold as the day before, and he did not feel as fatigued. He was glad the weather was fair for he did desire to have a change of scenery. He could also pick up the reading his uncle left for him.

Pippin returned with a tray of food, and Aragorn followed the hobbit into Faramir’s room.

“How are you feeling, Steward?”

“I am feeling better, thank you, King, for your help yesterday,” said Faramir with a bow to the King. His appetite returned, and he was glad Pippin brought him a hearty breakfast. He hadn’t felt hungry for a long while.

Aragorn checked Faramir’s vitals and shoulder, then asked, “Do you want to talk about the nightmares from yesterday?”

“I will after this meal.” Faramir didn’t realize how long he did not eat. He did sleep most of yesterday away which meant he didn’t eat for at least twenty-four hours.

The Steward was still reticent after the meal so Aragorn started, “As we said yesterday, I am not sure if you remember- the Black Breath may give nightmares that are not true.   You need to be aware and try to change the outcome. You need to tell me when it happens. It is very dangerous to just leave them be. Can you tell me about what happens?”

“I dreamt about fire and death,” Faramir started. “I dreamt that we have…lost. Gondor has lost,” Faramir looked out in the window to avoid Aragorn’s piercing glance. He shuddered in recollection.

“But we have not. My Steward, we have succeeded. I understand this is a transition time but you have to stay present. Change the dream if you can. You have to let us know about them.”

“Did you have any headache today? We have something for you for that. Do not take anything else but the healing teas prescribed. Again, you are not expected at meetings or work for the next couple days.”

Faramir opened his mouth and wanted to object, but instead said, “Yes, my Lord. When can I report back ? There is much to do—”

“Not till you are mostly nightmare and headache free- and you have to be honest with me,” replied Aragorn sternly. “You should also take chamomile honey lavender tea before bed to aid your sleep. If you have a headache, I have prepared something for that as well.”

‘In the meantime, you are to relax and relax some more,” said Pippin. “You can keep Frodo and Sam busy, perhaps– they have no duties but to relax.”

“Are they recovering well? When are the hobbits departing ?”

 “Not until after mid-Summer at least,” replied Aragorn. “There is an event that I wish them to stay for. You included. Frodo and Sam are recovering- they have gone through a long ordeal, but hobbits are resilient.”

Faramir wondered at the event but did not probe. “Very well. I will be staying put until you permit me to return to my duties, my King.”

“Thank you- you shall get better with time. You have been working ceaselessly since the coronation - you deserve a rest.”

“It is the least I can do for you and for Gondor,” said Faramir quietly . Faramir didn’t think he was doing enough or without enough speed to make the city great again . 

Aragorn seemed to read his mind and clasped Faramir’s hand, “The city will recover soon enough. We need you to recover as well.  Do not take these ailments lightly!”

“Thank you, my King, I am trying to,” replied Faramir with a sigh. 

“Very well, you are to rest and keep your mind light with light thoughts if you can. I will come by later today to see how you fare. There are teas for better rest and for headaches if they occur again.”

Faramir was not alone when he rested that day- a string of visitors from hobbits to his uncle to even Gandalf came to see how he was, and he was not used to this much attention. They walked out in the garden when the sun shone brightly. They talked about the hobbits’ plans when they returned to the Shire, about Eowyn, about Imrahil’s plans when he returned to Dol Amroth. It was not till late afternoon when he became tired and told his friends he needed a respite.

Faramir did not want to nap, but his head felt heavy. He did not want to fall into dreams. The sun was setting and another day was passing. Faramir remembered he intended to write to Eowyn but he did not want to talk about himself. Reluctantly, he did start to write, but several drafts in, nothing came to mind, so he crumpled the papers and threw the drafts into the waste. He didn’t want Eowyn to worry about him and had nothing interesting to report. Instead, he picked up a book about Numenorian history and started to read.  He inadvertently dozed off on his armchair.

There was a smell of salt water and persistent waves were crashing down upon a foundation of stone. The structure had fallen and the powerful waves had crushed its once spectacular establishment. There was only a remnant of a citadel that stood. Another once proud head of a statue was no more, chipped away by the constant waves that would not relent. There was seaweed on the sand. A strong smell of sea water pervaded his senses.

The wave towered over an entire city, and Faramir could almost feel the water upon him. He started to run.

Suddenly, thunder and lightning was in the background as the dark billowing clouds threatened closer, coming to envelope the old stone structures and him. He heard someone weeping for his son, but could not make out who it was and why he heard that. Drops of rain fell from the overcast sky. 

Now hues of turquoise and blue swirled about. He felt cold dark sand upon his toes. The wave still threatened from a distance and started to envelope all, even him. The sky had darkened more. The beautiful blue was no more. The wind was picking up and gusty gales of sea water and spray doused him. Dark wraiths on wings suddenly appeared and tried to snatch Faramir but he kept running and escaped by a narrow margin. The wraiths and the waves were gaining on him. He slipped on the cool sand upon the puddles of salt water. He tried to stand up but suddenly, it went cold and dark. 

TBC

“Do you think that Faramir even wanted to be with us today?” asked Sam.

“He did look tired still even though he seemed to be in good spirits,” Merry said.

“He ate normally today– I told the chef to get the Steward’s favorites for both breakfast and second breakfast,” said Pippin. “I make a great Knight of Gondor- i serve everyone to the best of my ability,” Pippin stood up straight and proud.

“Indeed you’re a shining Knight of Gondor,” joked Merry. “If we get through this, you will be promoted.”

I think he needed to rest despite everything- perhaps we could’ve let him speak on what he thinks,” said Frodo. “He was still too quiet.”

“It’s almost supper time– we should get him to come to dine with us and this time let him do the talking,” said Sam. “Try not to speak, Master Pippin.”

“You cannot force a person to talk when they do not want to. We all know what’s bothering the Steward,” said Frodo. “He is grieving, but he does not admit it.”

“How do you know, Frodo?”

“Because, I was the same way when my parents died,” said Frodo with tears in his eyes. “I was closed off and did not want to talk about anything to anyone. I fortunately did not have bad dreams because Bilbo very quickly came to Brandy Hall to collect me, and I felt fortunate to have such a caring uncle.  Merry and Esme and Sara helped too, but Bilbo made me feel very special.”

“Poor Faramir,” said Merry. “We need him to see there are many who care about him, to prevent him from falling into the Black Breath.”

“Do you have a plan, Merry?”

“Let’s go collect him for a hobbit meal at the dining hall.”

When the hobbits reached Faramir’s room, they were shocked to see Aragorn and Imrahil already there trying to rouse Faramir out of another dark nightmare. Faramir did not seem responsive for a long while even with the usual herbs. He was pale and sweat accumulated in his brow. He seemed to be fighting in his dream, arms flailing about, in an internal struggle of wills.  He murmured incomprehensible words and it seemed like he wanted help. Aragorn looked as tired and gray as when he was at the Houses of Healing the first time battling in the shadowy vale.

“Faramir! Awake!  Lasto beth nîn, tolo dan nan galad. Faramir!”

The hobbits were scared with tears in their eyes. 

“What can we do?” asked Frodo anxiously.

“Get more warm water and athelas,“ replied Aragorn.

“How did this happen?” Sam asked worriedly.

“We left him in fine spirits before. He was fine the whole day!” Merry said frustratedly.

Aragorn crushed as many athelas as they found, gave it to Faramir to smell to revive him. The shoulder was wrapped in warm cloths. Faramir’s skin was clammy and his pulse elevated.  Aragorn kept saying elvish incantations, put his hand on the Steward’s forehead and concentrated as much as he could to bring his friend back.

“Faramir! Come back to the light!”

Finally after what seemed like forever, Faramir blinked open his eyes and gasped, “What happened? “ A smell of athelas permeated the air instead of the salt water in the dream. He blinked tears away and saw Aragorn by his side.

The hobbits and Imrahil cheered, so glad that the Steward was awake again.

“Another dark dream is what happened,” said Aragorn, gently bringing Faramir to a sitting position and a mug of tea to Faramir's lips.  “It took a long while before you awoke. The Black Breath is serious, and we have to battle it.”

Faramir sighed–he was so weary. He felt like he was constantly fighting in a labyrinthe of darkness, and he feared falling asleep. “It was the wave this time. I feel it upon me,” he closed his eyes and did not speak more and shivered in recollection. Now he felt dizzy and nauseous at the effort of speaking. 

“You are safe now. Do not fear.  It was just a dream,” Aragorn was worried- this last time was difficult to revive Faramir from the Black Breath infested dream. He was fatigued from this effort. Aragorn applied more fresh athelas, crushing them in warm water to dispel the smell into the air. Even though Faramir was cold, he was also feeling a bit too warm. The shoulder wound had healed but it was abnormally cold. Physically there was nothing wrong but mentally? Aragorn thought that either he was failing in his effectiveness or there was something Faramir wasn’t telling them that could help aid in recovery.  The Black Breath was not going to leave on its own.

“How are you feeling, my Steward?”

Feelings of blame and guilt surfaced– blame for himself, guilt of surviving and also feeling insufficient. He shook his head, “Not too well–”

“Relax, you need to fight the inner demons. Don't blame yourself on things you cannot change. Be glad you survived.”

“We know there’s change and much to grieve for, but nothing is your fault and you’ve already done so much, my lad,” added Imrahil, holding onto his nephews’ cold hand, looking at Faramir anxiously. 

“Here, drink the honey lavender which will help with your anxious thoughts.. Calm, take a deep breath,” Aragorn said.  

“I…am… not well.” Indeed, he felt sick, like he really swallowed the water from the dream. He rejected the tea and looked out at the window which showed that it was already dark. “What time is it now?” He then closed his eyes for a wave of nausea overwhelmed him. He leaned over and became sick and fortunately Aragorn had a chamber pot ready. He leaned back into the pillows, hoping the sickness would retreat.  

After a while, Farami caught his breath and closed his eyes. A mug of peppermint water was given to him to alleviate the upset stomach. “Drink up - do you feel less sick ? Take your time,” said Aragorn and he was glad that Faramir took some tea.

Faramir did not reply and felt out of sorts. The nausea was passing and he opened his eyes to feel a headache starting to impede upon him. He rubbed his temple with his good hand and closed his eyes again.

Aragorn stayed in the room also and dismissed the hobbits to go grab supper. He felt guilty he didn’t catch this was more serious a week or so ago before the funeral.  He had to help Faramir recover as soon as possible. The Black Breath only seemed to infect Faramir more. He could not afford to lose him to another dream.

“My lad- are you in pain,” asked Imrahil tenderly. 

“Just another headache–,” said Faramir with an effort. “And I feel cold.” He still felt the sea water, smelled the salty water- he shuddered in memory.

“I will get some feverfew with chamomile and lavender tea for you,” said Aragorn as he guided the mug to Faramir’s lips. Seeing him shiver, Aragorn retrieved an extra blanket and reapplied warming cloths.  He felt that Faramir’s shoulder was still cold and he was not moving it. 

Faramir drank the tea then closed his eyes, but sleep did not come. The past dream was too vivid. He shook in recollection. Cold sweat gathered on his forehead.

“Do you want to talk about what’s on your mind, Faramir? Especially about the dreams?  I encourage you to tell me so that we can help.” Aragorn said.

“No one can change the past,” replied Faramir thickly.

“Yes that is true but you need to allow yourself to know that these negative feelings are temporary. You are needed and loved and you need to understand that,” said Imrahil fervently.

“Remember when Mother died? Everyone said that she was getting better, but she never did get better and I still feel that pain of deception. And now …my brother and father–it …it… is a lot to bear,” After all the weeks of saying things were fine, Faramir broke down and started to weep.

“Yes, I know– it is hard,” Imrahil held onto Faramir, rubbing his back.  “They would be proud of you. Go forth in their memory.”

“Proud? Denethor? I cannot believe that!”

“He would remember and cherish you before the end, Faramir. He loved you. He did not leave your side when you were wounded. He did care- can you believe that?”

Faramir did not know if he could believe what his uncle was telling him. Again, who knew what his father was thinking as he burned himself and him? His father was selfish in taking his own life and wanted to take his life too. Why did his father take his own life?  Should he have joined him? But then, he wasn’t in his own mind- wasn’t the Enemy already controlling him? How would he know what his father thought at the end ? No one knew. The headache worsened.

“Peace, you cannot be over-exerted. Try to relax now.” Faramir’s pulse was elevated from the weeping and Aragorn gave a tea concoction to alleviate pain and calm down his nerves. He added some honey so the taste would be better.  

Then, Aragorn rubbed Faramir’s temples to aid in the headache. “Calm now, breathe slowly. Relax and close your eyes.  Breathe slowly and deeply.” Aragorn extended his arms and placed his hands on his friend’s face; thumbs resting lightly on the closed eyelids, fingers splayed from forehead to temples rubbing gentle circles across the furrowed brow.  “Breathe deeply and slowly.”

Faramir felt a bit better after Aragorn’s ministrations; the headache wasn’t overwhelming him and he could finally close his eyes without fear, breathing in slower breaths. “I am weary now - you can get supper while I rest.” 

“No, we are not leaving you as of yet,” said Aragorn firmly.  “Calm and do not fear. “

“We will be here when you awake,” Imrahil said.  He held onto Faramir’s hand gently.

“All right.” He did not have the strength to argue.  The intense nightmare, recovery and headache had sapped any strength remaining. Faramir settled back into the covers, closing his eyes, praying for a dreamless sleep.

TBC

“If ever beyond hope you return to the lands of the living and we retell our tales, sitting by a wall in the sun, laughing at old grief, you shall tell me then.” Faramir to Frodo,‘ The Two Towers '

“Strider, we have returned with food. Do you think Faramir will wake up to eat?” asked Merry. He glanced at the sleeping Steward then looked at the grave faces of Imrahil and Aragorn who seemed deep in thought as they sat in vigil overlooking the seemingly peaceful sleeping Steward.

“I am not sure- so far, he looks like he is finally peacefully sleeping and I hope that he will rest without interruption.” Faramir had slept for two hours and there was no sign of dark dreams, but Aragorn kept the watch. The smell of athelas permeated the room calming everyone’s nerves.

“Do you need any food, my King,” asked Imrahil. 

“Yes, I'll eat what the hobbits have brought, thank you.”

“We will retire to our rooms, Strider,” said Sam. “Mr. Frodo needs rest as well.” Frodo looked tired as well.  “We will return tomorrow…let us know of anything that we can do.”

The younger hobbits wanted to stay so they stayed with Aragorn and Imrahil for a little longer but at two hours to midnight, they also said good night. 

“Well, did you know when this started? The dark dreams and all?” asked Imrahil to Aragorn as they sat and remained at Faramir’s bedside together. They had been sitting in silence for a while and just took in the food that the hobbits brough for them but did allocate some to Faramir if he awoke. He was in deep sleep, sometimes talking inaudibly in his sleep, but nothing as alarming as how they found him in the afternoon.

“I knew he had trouble sleeping before the funeral, and I told him to take a day or two– but he only took a day,” replied Aragorn. “And he returned to plan for the funeral. In fact, he gave me early plans for the funeral.”

“He is conventional in wanting to complete things quickly,” replied Imrahil. “He is efficient in what he does when he wants to complete something. He works too hard. He did have a bout of the Black Breath before, how is it different this time?”

Aragorn was amazed at how astute Imrahil was and he did not hold back in giving his opinion, “Faramir is grieving. Everyone does so differently but for him, he has been under the shadow for so long. I am not certain how soon he can recover and this is his choice in the matter. We can only be there for him when he wants to open up, and I encourage that he will before…before it’s too late.”

“He is strong and young- he will get through this,” replied Imrahil fervently. “I know my nephew.”

Then, they were interrupted by a stirring Steward who opened his eyes and seemed disoriented. 

“How do you fare?” asked Imrahil, he touched Faramir’s hand which was less cold than before.

“A little better, I believe. – why do you look so …worried?” replied Faramir as he sat up slowly with some aid from Imrahil and Aragorn. He still felt weary but a little less ill than before.

“You had a rough bout of Black Breath only recently. Let me see how you are,” replied Aragorn as he inspected the Steward’s vitals and shoulder. All seemed normal but the Steward still looked pale, and was starting to feel warm.

“Yes, I am fine…just a bit sore, I believe?” said Faramir. His shoulder ached a bit but not as cold as before but a heaviness did remain. He sighed. “What is the time?”

It is an hour till midnight.”

“You can depart if you want to- i will just take a bite of food—”

“Which is good, you have an appetite,” said Aragorn. “The hobbits left you with some food. But no, we are not leaving.”

Faramir ate in silence. He was slightly confused why Aragorn and Imrahil were by his bedside. Was he really that ill he needed this? 

“Sorry, my King and uncle- it is late- is it better to be getting back to your quarters. I am fine,” Faramir insisted. “Unless you have other matters to discuss?”

“We need to discuss your nightmares and no, you are not fine,” said Aragorn sternly. “I did not stay several hours just for you to think that everything is fine. The Black Breath has a strong hold on you and we need to be clear about the dangers, and I need to be clear to know that you understand. Do you understand what are the steps to take when the dark nightmares come?”

Aragorn hadn’t been that clear about the severity of the situation and it led to some tension in the room.

Faramir replied earnestly, “I do understand, and I will work harder to recognize these dreams. Thank you for your attention and your advice- I will heed your advice and let you know first thing about any strange occurrences.”

“That’s the thing, my nephew, it is hard to discern at times and the past day, the King has taken you out not once, not twice, but three times from a dream so strong, it could’ve taken you!” declared Imrahil. “Do not underestimate the severity of the situation!”

“Three times?“

“You do not remember?”

“Yes, it was three times, my Steward. You swooned once yesterday, then it was a dark dream last night and only this afternoon. Your uncle is right– you cannot underestimate the power of the Black Breath. You only slept a couple hours now and I do not know if you awoke because of a dream.”

“No, I do not remember any dark dreams this time,” Faramir breathed deeply. Maybe he did not recognize the severity of the dreams of Black Breath.  “What can I do?”

“Please discuss with us honestly about anything that may trigger these dreams,” said Aragorn gently. “We can find the trigger and thus deal with the underlying cause.”

“You have gone through a lot, nephew. Don’t hold back in telling us your thoughts.”

“I will share with you but right now, I have nothing to share. Since it's the middle of the night, you both need rest. I will rest again after this meal,” insisted Faramir. He was not used to this attention especially since he felt fine at the moment. “I will give you messages first thing if something is amiss.”

“You need the most quality rest, and I have to make sure that you are receiving that. I am returning before dawn” said Aragorn. He actually did not want to leave the Steward’s side at all. He did not think Faramir was entirely forthcoming and was unnecessarily proper in still holding back information. He knew he was not accustomed to the attention, but Faramir still did not understand he needed friends by his side. He needed Faramir to trust him.

“Thank you, my King,” Faramir bowed, stood up slowly and guided both his uncle and Aragorn to the door. “And I’ll see you tomorrow, Uncle, for the ride we said we were planning.”

“Why yes, I wanted to do that yesterday but something arose.”

“We will ride out tomorrow then.”

“If you’re well enough- i will determine that tomorrow, Steward,” Aragorn said. “Most likely, resting well is most important. Remember if you have another headache, you have tea to combat that. Warm compress is for your shoulder. Teas for anxiety as well. Rest, and remember we are here for you. Don’t overthink.”

“Yes, my King, I remember. Thank you. Good night.”

Faramir closed the door and some tears came into his eyes. He did wake from a dream before but he did not want to mention it. He was dreaming of his mother but it was too personal to talk about. It was just a simple moment when his mom was holding him when he was a child. He only had memories of a woman who played with and snuggled him. He was a young child after all and who could remember more than that. That was an untainted dream so therefore unrelated to those Black Breath dreams that he was having.

 Speaking to Aragorn and Imrahil made him a bit anxious. When will the Black Breath dreams come again? He did not want to fall victim again. Faramir paced his room. He was weary but did not want to sleep.

He left his room and went out to the courtyard. It was a clear night and it was not too warm or cold for a May night. He saw stars blink above in the sky and he was reminded of the night that Boromir left. 

“Be safe, Boromir. I’ll miss you,” he said softly  “Come back to us as soon as possible,” he said and held onto Boromir’s hand.

“You know I won’t linger if I must not,” replied Boromir, taking Faramir’s hand and squeezing it tightly.

It was still painful to remember his brother telling him that he would return but he did not. He felt a lump in his throat. It was the Fourth Age and there was so much to look forward to, but how can he memorialize the past properly? There was a void that could not be replaced.

Faramir sighed. He tried to push the memory away for what was the use to dwell. Boromir would not come back alive despite him wishing for that fervently. What was the purpose of wishing ?

Suddenly he felt the presence of someone small looking up to him.

“Are you sleepless?” It was Frodo.

“Why it was because I had a long nap,” replied Faramir with a smile looking down at the Ring-bearer. “Why are you not asleep?”

“I like to see the stars in Gondor– they look a bit different than in the Shire.”

“Are they really? How so?”

“I do not think they sparkle as bright or there are not as many for some reason.”

“Maybe it’s just another perspective.”

“Yes, perhaps.”

The hobbit and man fell into silence observing the sky. It was a perfect night to be outside. There was no wind, and it was peacefully quiet.

“I lost my parents when I was young,” started Frodo softly. “It was a sudden boating accident.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” replied Faramir sympathetically. He was touched that Frodo would share his story with him. “We seem to be no strangers to loss.” Faramir sighed.

“It was a hard time but there were relatives that cared for me in which I am grateful. One of them was Bilbo. Did you hear about my uncle?”

“Why I have not. Gandalf only mentioned the fact he aided the Quest of Erebor. He had a very meaningful part in it like how you are the hero of this Quest.”

“Yes, he took me in like his own son to live in the Bag End, another part of the Shire; he also made me his heir. I needed the change in scenery since there were not good ones in Brandy Hall when my parents passed,” said Frodo.

“It does take time to process everything, and I'm glad Bilbo could help you with that.” Faramir said.

“You have a lot of support too, my Steward. Your uncle is a nice man, similar to Bilbo. You’re lucky to have him. And you're strong and perceptive,” insisted Frodo.

“Now am I?” Faramir chuckled at Frodo’s assessment of him.

“Ever since Sam and I have met you, you’ve shown nothing but kindness, respect and trust to us.” Frodo looked at Faramir. “Lord Elrond had said we would meet good friends along the road, and you are one of them. And now after the war, you are selflessly giving back to your country. I know it’s your perceived duty, but not everyone can look past the personal griefs to do so.”

Faramir did not know what to say. He didn’t know if he should feel flattered or grateful or both. “Indeed you’re also a prince among halfings, with wisdom beyond even the highest counselor in Gondor. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I would say that it is our duty to rebuild Gondor to its former glory.”

“Yes but you also have to think about yourself, Faramir.”

“Yes, I believe that is just as important,” replied Faramir. “I have been trying to.” He paused. “It’s been difficult,” he admitted.

“You know my kin and I are at your service,” said Frodo.  “You have to open up about how you feel.”

“And how about you? The one who has gone to the edge of the world and back?” Faramir wanted to open up but he was fearful of what reality may entail.

“I hope that there will be peace back when I find Bilbo and in the Shire,” said Frodo but he looked away when he said that. “You are not the only one with dreams and nightmares.”

“Yes, I know you had the hardest time of all of us, little one,” said Faramir with pity. He put his arm on the hobbit’s shoulder. “We will be forever indebted to you for helping us defeat the Enemy beyond all hope.”

“I do not believe I succeeded,” said Frodo. “I could not give up the RIng at the end, and I feel guilty about it. The creature Gollum had to take it from me by force for it to fall into Mount Doom. You warned me of him but if he were not there, I would not have succeeded.I am not a hero,” Frodo finished with a sigh and tears in his eyes.

Faramir replied, “Do not blame yourself– you were the strongest person to carry such an evil device of the Enemy. Others would have succumbed already. Do not ever feel guilty about your success. No one could’ve been as strong as you.”

“WIth time, perhaps, I can recover from …from the last leg of the journey,” said Frodo sadly. “I hope you will enjoy Gondor restored.”

“Thank you. I do hope I enjoy Gondor restored too. Frodo, cease to think so much, little one. You will enjoy the Shire as well when you return. You hobbits amaze me at every turn. We are indebted and grateful to you.”

There was some silence as both fell into their own thoughts. 

“I hope that you will fall asleep soon, Frodo. If not, the King has this tea that works and you can have some of mine.”

“Thank you- he already gave some of that to me,” replied Frodo with a smile. “If it had worked, I wouldn't be here looking at the stars. Though I do like them a lot.”

“They do have a calming effect,” Faramir smiled back. Frodo was good company and made him feel less anxious. 

“I hope you sleep well, Frodo, son of Drogo.”

“Yes, you too– I hope you feel better,” replied Frodo. Then the hobbit and Steward said farewell and retired back to their rooms. 

Faramir did not feel tired but he knew he had to get back into a pattern of normal sleep. It was now already several hours after midnight. He took some of the tea that Aragorn prescribed for sleeplessness, crushed some athelas himself and went to bed, closing his eyes, hoping that no dreams would invade him.

TBC

Eowyn was confused and worried. She had arrived in Rohan for more than a week already but did not hear from Faramir and he promised he would write.. She wondered why he did not write yet. Therefore, despite being very occupied with state affairs herself, she sat down to write to her beloved.  

Dear Faramir,

My love, it has been more than a week since I've seen you and I am thinking about you. Are you faring better? Are you resting at night? Are the nightmares subsiding? I am concerned for you. Please let me know how you are faring, truthfully.

We rode fast back to Rohan but the ride was smooth. It is better now since the War is over. I’ve been very occupied with planning the King’s funeral and setting matters right for Rohan since my brother and I have been gone so long and now, we have an incoming King that requires transition time.

We are planning for you to say a few words when you are here in Rohan about your betrothal plans. I am very glad that we are soon to be together. I wish you well always, my Lord.

Please write back soon and my love to you always.

Love,

Eowyn

Eowyn gave to the fastest messenger to bring the letter to Gondor. She wanted Red Arrow speed. Red arrow speed still took a couple days. She was worried before leaving Gondor before and she was still worried even now. She could not explain it.  Hopefully she will get a reply soon. She looked out towards the plains of Rohan and could only believe that she left her heart in Gondor. She hoped to see Faramir as soon as possible again. She felt his absence keenly, and she felt lonely.

Aragorn could not sleep that night. He had felt guilty he was not there from the beginning though he saw the signs that Faramir was not as well as everyone perceived. It was his responsibility to make sure the younger man opened up and recovered as soon as he could. Aragorn left his quarters and went back to Faramir’s room.

It seemed like the Steward was sleeping normally, but Aragorn felt Faramir’s forehead. It was unnaturally warm.. Faramir was restless, tossing in bed, his cheeks were flushed and his breathing a bit labored. 

Faramir woke suddenly, breathing hard in fear.

“Calm, you are not alone. You’re safe.  Is it another dream?” Aragorn helped Faramir to sitting position.

“I…don’t …know. Just …fire,” Faramir shivered in recollection. He felt too warm but sometimes too cool. Beads of sweat accumulated on his forehead.  A different kind of headache had taken hold. He took off the covers but then he felt cold again.

“It is all right. Here, I will prepare some willow bark tea–a fever has developed for some unknown reason. Please let me know about any dark dreams,” said Aragorn as he used the water to brew some willow bark with honey.

Once it cooled, he gave a mug to Faramir who sipped it without question. 

“I”m sorry to impede upon your sleep, my King,” said Faramir but he was somewhat glad he had company in the night.

“No apologies are necessary. I will also bring more blankets and cooling cloth.  I will return.”

When Aragorn returned, he also gave a stronger sleeping draught so that Faramir could rest without interruption. 

“Sleep and fear no darkness,” he instructs, smoothing the athelas laced fabric over Faramir's brow.

Fortunately, Faramir settled back to sleep and did not stir until late morning.

…

Aragorn stayed in Faramir’s room till sunrise but was met with some unexpected company. Pippin had arrived.

“What is a hobbit doing up at sunrise?” asked Aragorn.

“Isn’t it part of my duty to serve the Steward and the King?” Pippin asked back.

“Why yes, you are quite astute to know I need your services. Please brew some more water; I need to prepare some more healing teas. Thank you Pippin.”

Pippin wordlessly went to fetch the supplies. When he returned, he asked Aragorn, “What happened? Is Faramir worse than before?”

“Just a bit of a fever which I do not know the cause of.” Aragorn put a cooling cloth on Faramir’s forehead as precaution. “Most likely lack of sleep has affected his immunity.” The Steward was still warm. However, his shoulder wound was not cold so he hoped that the Black Breath had lessened its hold.

“You look worried, Strider,”

“Yes, quite worried. It took a while to draw him back from the wound in the Houses of Healing. This last time also took too long . We need to solve the problem soon. It will take enormous effort from Faramir and I do not know if we are getting across to him the importance of opening up.  He spoke in his sleep last night. Snatches of Boromir, directing his Rangers, his father. And only time can really solve many problems and the right amount of support.”

“We will help,” said Pippin determinedly. “Do you think we need to let him know about Boromir’s sacrifice? How important of a role his brother was in our Fellowship of the Ring? I am not sure if we spoke of it to him.  Would that help?”

“That is a fair point. Part of healing is to know the last steps and actions of Boromir. It was one of the hardest deaths to handle,” Aragorn sighed. “I was too late myself to rescue Boromir. I wished I was with him, helping him with slaying the orcs.  Maybe you getting captured would have also been avoided.”

Pippin laid his hand on Aragorn’s shoulder since he was sitting. “Did we say not to blame ourselves?”

“When did Peregrin Took become so wise?”

“Since I became a Knight of Gondor,” said Pippin smugly. Being sworn in to service makes me a super hobbit of sorts. And I am also a Troll-slayer, if I must remind you.”

Aragorn grinned. He didn't sleep much that night but he was glad for Pippin’s company.  “You do not have to remind me of your deeds. I believe Ioreth has already said you’re the Prince of Halflings. How are you feeling, Prince? You are well recovered from your wounds, I hope?”

“No, that would be Frodo- I prefer to be the Knight,” said Pippin with a smile.  “And yes, I am well healed from the troll crushing down on me, thank you to you master Healer and King. Merry can be the joker of Gondor since he already has serious responsibilities in Rohan.”

“We will see how he fits into Gondor,” said Aragorn with a chuckle.  Then Aragorn yawned.

“Do you need to take a rest- i can make sure Faramir is all right from now,” said Pippin seriously. “Merry said he’ll stop by after first breakfast and bring me some too.”

“Do you know which tea is for what? There is one for headache, one for sleeplessness. And willow bark for fever if it returns.  I think he will wake in a couple of hours and I did give him a stronger sleeping draught when he was up last about three hours ago. He needs no more unless he is unwell and I hope he is fine when he wakes.”

“Yes, my King,” said Pippin with a bow. “I will remember and become Healer Took while you’re gone.”

Aragorn could not help but be amused though it was a dark situation. He smiled at the hobbit, “All right, I'll trust you with my patient. I will be back after sending some messages to the Council that meetings are postponed till tomorrow and send some messages to any that the Steward had planned. Thank you Pippin.”

Aragorn was not gone for long but returned three hours before noon. Pippin was still at watch and Merry had joined him. The Steward was still sleeping.

“How is our patient, Healer Took?” 

“I don't think there’s any change. I think the latest sleeping draught really worked.”

Faramir did seem to be sleeping peacefully but a slight fever remained and despite the warming compress on his shoulder, it still felt cold. Aragorn was puzzled . He was running out of athelas and had to send someone to ride out to retrieve some. Faramir talked in his sleep even though he seemed to be asleep . Aragorn wondered at that.  The Black Breath had to be defeated but only the person having it can overcome it.

…

Faramir was running in the woodlands in Ithilien. They had to defend against the Haradrim and Southrons and they were relying on stealth and speed. However, the woods did not seem familiar to him. He had lost complete direction of where he was.

Suddenly, he did not see where his soldiers went, but the footsteps of the Enemy drew nearer.

“Mablung!” 

“Anborn!”

How could he direct the attack if he had lost his men? What kind of captain loses his men? Where were his most trusted Rangers? They had to get into position and they were nowhere to be found.

A sense of dread enveloped him. Then suddenly, the field opened up and he only saw lifeless bodies on the floor of his fellow soldiers who went to defend Osgiliath in the last ride.

Was this a trick of the Enemy? But he did not even ride out to the last stance yet. He was successful in Ithilien.

Faramir ran the other direction but there was an impenetrable darkness which swallowed up the forest.

“No!”

Faramir awoke in tears but saw the concerned eyes of Aragorn and Pippin peering down at him and he was placed in a sitting position. Athelas permeated the air. They gave him a mug of sweet and bitter tea.

“Just a dream- “ started Aragorn.

“I…I am all right –just a dream.” Faramir was glad to wake up. He felt weary still but better despite the vivid dream. 

“First, how do you feel? You had a fever just several hours ago but you have since cooled down.” Aragorn started checking Faramir’s vitals and shoulder. The shoulder was still cool to the touch. Faramir looked tired but his eyes were clearer but not entirely clear from fever.

“I am feeling better, thank you.” Faramir wondered at the dream. Was it fever induced or from the Black Breath? He still felt very weary, sore from the constant battle with the conscious and now he did feel his body aching.  He involuntarily shivered.  

Aragorn placed his hand on Faramir’s forehead, assessing that there was still a low grade fever remaining. “I am trying to see if your dream is the result of fever or Black Breath- what do you believe? And do you have a headache?”

“No I don't believe that there was a dark element to it and …no I  am not sure,” Faramir shivered. “It is an outcome that did not happen.”

“Please do not be careless in assessment. You need to try to change the outcome in the dream to battle the Black Breath. I advise you to rest today and let me know if the dreams get strange again,” Aragorn said. “You are to use a special sleeping draught before your nap for more restful sleep and more willow bark after your meal. For the dreams, you need to tell us about them.”

Faramir wondered what else he could do. “All right. I’ll try to be aware. I am fine to go to the dining hall myself,” he stood up gingerly.  

“I know your favorites- so I will gladly bring you a tray, Steward! You should stay put,” said PIppin as he ran out the door.

 Faramir sat down again and was thinking of his meetings he was missing, especially the one he had scheduled with Belegion and other soldiers. “My King, did you postpone my personal meetings too for today?” Faramir asked Aragorn.

“Yes, I did that early this morning. I told your assistant to clear your schedule for today and tomorrow, most likely for the following day too. It is almost noon now.” The King opened the curtains. It was a downcast day but not raining. There were many clouds, but the temperature was still above normal for May.

“I thank you for your care,” Faramir looked down. “I will not recover by tomorrow?” He wondered at the remaining dreams and wondered if he could fall asleep dreamless again. He was determined to not fall into darkness. He had more to do for Gondor, felt indebted to the King for him to keep calling him back. He closed his eyes to try to feel calm and to organize his thoughts. He opened them again and saw Aragorn looking straight into his eyes.

“There is nothing to thank me for,” Aragorn said as he felt Faramir’s forehead for fever. “I do not anticipate you coming back to work tomorrow yet. You are still ill, and we do not want to be careless especially when the Black Breath and now fever are involved. We will take it day by day. I am sorry I did not catch this earlier. Do not feel blame for your father’s demise nor think you’re not doing enough. You have been instrumental to Gondor’s recovery and I anticipate more good projects from you. Recover well and don’t hesitate to let me know how I can help, truly.”

Faramir bowed his head, “Thank you my King, I appreciate the kindness and confidence.  I”ll also be more mindful of the Black Breath.” He had not heard anyone give him this level or respect before. No one in the Council, nor Denethor had appreciated what he did for Gondor and he felt touched to have some recognition.

Suddenly, Merry and Pippin appeared in Faramir’s room in good spirits. 

Pippin said, “I found the best meal for you,” and indeed the tray smelled really good.

“And look what came in the mail,” said Merry with a grin. “A letter from Éowyn!”

Faramir smiled, “A letter from Éowyn?” He was so glad for this. He felt sorry he didn’t write to Éowyn yet but he promised himself he would do so today.

He felt in better spirits after a good meal and more willow bark. He felt heartened and less alone by being with the hobbits and the King.

TBC

The hobbits and Aragorn left and Faramir was finally by himself. He needed to read Eowyn’s letter in privacy and plan for a reply back to her. He knew it was long overdue that he wrote to her. He was also feeling weary.

He read the letter several times and was so grateful. But how should he write so he would not worry her but not deceive her either? He tried to evade the topic of his dreams and health.

Dear Éowyn,

My beloved, I am so glad that you are safely back in Rohan. I am sorry I did not write earlier. 

The ceremony went well without any issues and I managed to plan everything accordingly. I am indebted to the King and the Council for allowing this to happen. I insisted that we needed to honor my father, brother, the soldiers that have fallen and to have the day be to honor the fallen.

I am feeling better. I did go to the King for my sleeplessness and dreams and most has been resolved- you need not worry about me. The King is quite the healer. I am in good hands- please do not fear for me.

Faramir paused writing. Should he mention the Black Breath to warn Eowyn? Eowyn had dark dreams, and she should be aware too.

How do you fare? Do you have dreams? Please be aware of those that are too dark for it could be the Black Breath. Have some athelas or kingsfoil nearby because they may help to help you recover. I hope that your health is well. 

You are sorely missed and I cannot wait to stroke your golden hair and feel your hands upon mine. I desire your embrace and hope we can soon be together underneath the stars and sun together for the new Age. I desire the day that we meet again in Rohan to approach more quickly. My beautiful dear brave lady, please be well and by my side soon. I do not believe the darkness will endure.

Yours always,

Faramir

He read his letter again- did he sound positive enough? Was it all right he did not include the whole truth? There was no use of worrying Eowyn after all.  He quickly sealed the letter and gave it to a servant to be sent out as soon as possible. He wondered what errand riders would be going forth from Rohan. Perhaps he had to send a special rider as well.

He remembered he had been hopeful in the Houses of Healing because meeting Eowyn seemed like light amidst the darkness. He knew he loved Eowyn when he first laid eyes on her. He could not explain it. He wanted to mend her hurts, to make sure she was loved. She was so brave and lovely at the same time. How could there be anyone like her? 

Before that, he was pulled out of the dark vale by the King that he had dreamed about so at least two things were going right amidst a world turned upside down by the war.  If the Vala had intended he join his family, there would’ve been a sign already but there wasn’t- he only kept meeting good men, hobbits, and other members of the Fellowship. It was not so easy to give up in life.

Faramir felt restless, so decided to take a walk in the gardens. It was overcast, but it was not raining. He felt weary from the fever, but he did not want to stay put and it was only two hours past noon. He would rest later.

It was unnaturally oppressive for May, like an oncoming storm was about to burst. Faramir hoped it would not rain since he needed the fresh air. After walking for half an hour, a familiar voice called out to him.

“Faramir!”

He turned around and saw his uncle Imrahil race down the path.

“How are you feeling, my lad? Why are you not in your quarters resting?”

“I am feeling fine and need to take a walk.  I will return soon,” Faramir smiled. “Thank you again for the kindness.”

“The King said you had a bout of fever this morning. Are you sure you are well enough?”

“I believe so–I am truly feeling alright,” Faramir was not being deceptive- he really needed to take a walk.

“Well all right, we can walk together and then we will go back. I do not think a ride out would be wise today since those rain clouds look like they’re going to burst.” Indeed, the rain clouds turned darker from the East, threatening to reach them soon with the wind.

Dark rain clouds looked like the ones in the dream with the salt water–water from the river that carried Boromir to him in a boat…like a dream. Dark clouds also occupied the skies in all those battles. Faramir shivered in recollection, heart pounding, and eyes closed trying to not remember that detail of the dream or the fact his brother was dead. 

“What happened?” Imrahil glanced at Faramir with utmost concern, holding onto his arm. Imrahil saw that Faramir seemed distressed, his face frowning, eyes closed, and his heartbeat had accelerated.

“No, nothing. Let us return now then. I think the rain is about to come down.” He did not want to repeat the details of the image. He opened his eyes. His mouth felt dry, but he felt water upon his brow. He lifted up his head but saw that it did not rain.

The rain did not come down before they reached the Citadel, but he felt overly anxious. He did not understand why the clouds bothered him and made him have such a reaction and elicited such an image. He sat down heavily on his armchair and closed his eyes, trying to block out the clouds. They were just clouds!

“You are feverish again,” Imrahil felt his nephew’s forehead when they returned to Faramir’s room. “The King did prescribe willow bark for you- you should have some.” 

“Yes, I will,” Faramir replied wearily and took the mug that his uncle had prepared. He felt worried again but did not know about what. Rain clouds? Why was he so foolish? His heart was racing and cold sweat had developed. He stood up and paced around in his room.

“Calm- you are safe, Faramir. Deep breaths. Calm down. Come take a seat,” Imrahil said, as he took back the empty mug from Faramir after he drank the willow bark. “Do you want to share what happened out there?” 

“No, nothing. I can’t explain it. I think there is an extra sleeping draught, the King told me I needed. I forgot which it is.” Faramir sighed and indeed felt too warm for comfort, and he was still agitated. 

“What happened?” a hobbit or two or three peeked into the room. Pippin, Frodo and Sam walked in.

“Nothing happened- thank you for the concern,” Faramir was in no mood to explain. He knew he didn’t need to act differently with the hobbits, but he was not used to the attention. He tried to breathe normally again and with time, he felt less anxious.

“Pippin - you were with the King this morning- do you remember which mug is for the sleeping draught?” asked Imrahil.

“Yes, I do! It would be this one- he pointed to the dark blue mug. This one's for uninterrupted sleep. Aragorn told me this morning. Lord Faramir must take this one. The yellow mug is willow bark. Then the glass one is feverfew, I think,” said Pippin.

“And what is feverfew for?” asked Sam.

“I believe it’s for headaches.”

“Thank you, Pippin,” Faramir grinned. “I am indebted to you remembering.” Faramir took a sip, bitter as it may be. He felt calmer now but very weary. “I will not be good company, dear hobbits.”

“It’s all right- we need to see how you are. Perhaps we will have dinner later,” said Sam.

“Yes, I believe so-” Aragorn’s sleeping draught was starting to have an effect, as Faramir’s eyelids started to get heavy. He took off his boots, and laid his head down on the soft pillow, and closed his eyes, trying to keep breathing normally. He still heard the hobbits and his uncle talk about him though.
 

“Should we call Aragorn again since he did tell him to let him know if the fever arises again,” said Pippin.

“Anything alarming happened?” Sam asked.

“No, we were just taking a walk, and he became very anxious,” replied Imrahil.

“Anxiety is common for Black Breath. I think we should be on the lookout. Someone should also get Aragorn just in case,” said Frodo.

Faramir felt frustrated as he turned in bed. Why did simple things make him feel so anxious? This had not happened before. He cursed at his weakness. He had no time to further worry as the tea made him fall asleep.

TBC

Chapter 13 - Friends in Unexpected Places

Belegion was a young brown haired medium-built soldier who was Faramir’s subordinate and had always respected the first family of stewards. His older brother, Belegor, three years older, was also summoned to fight. Belegor was assigned to Cair Andros. He was skilled in arms and was proud of his own country . Their parents were loath to depart with their sons but when duty calls, one must defend your country .

Belegion was also assigned duty. He was with the Rangers of Ithilien and that’s how he met Faramir. From the beginning, he was drawn to the Captain. He led by example, was fair and wise. Faramir always was logical with his decisions and led the younger soldiers with more guidance.

HIs older brother Belegor perished in Cair Andros the night before the Causeway Forts. It was an arrow to the back. His body was fortunately not severed by the orcs for another comrade, Callon made sure to bring him back to Belegion. He was grateful he could bury his brother. However, he was steeped in grief. Losing Belegor was so hard to bear. Belegor and he did everything together in youth. From learning to ride, archery, evading their parents during dinnertime, Belegion could not think of anything he wouldn’t do with Belegor. He was his confidante and he looked up to him.

Belegion was one of the first families that Faramir visited and also provided reparations for. Faramir did not know Belegor well but provided much needed comfort and words of advice to Belegion and his parents.

“We will always remember Belegor and his duty to Gondor.  His name will be on our memorials for the service he provided. He died with honor and may the Valar keep him safe in their keeping,” Faramir said to Belegion the last time they met. “Gondor also has some special restitution for your family.”

“Thank you my lord. How do you fare? You must be tired. Many things have gone on for you in the past two weeks,” Belegion looked at his friend with concern. Faramir looked tired most of the time when he saw him.

“I am well, thank you.”

“We will miss Boromir–he was so strong and unconquerable. He is what every Gondorian lad sought to be in terms of strength in arms.  Boromir was respectable and loved-just like you.”

“Yes, it is grievous that he is not with us. He is missed. Like you, I wish he was beside us again. He was taken far too soon. ” Faramir looked away from Belegion. He tried not to show the deep pain he still felt inside. There was no time to show weakness.

“It is unfortunate our older brothers are not with us. I felt Belegor always seemed invincible too- I do not know what to do without him,” Belegion started to weep.

Faramir did not know what to say but spoke words of solace and gave his friend an embrace. “We will get through this, my friend. It should get easier with time.”

“You’re so brave, Faramir- I don’t know how you can handle everything.”

Faramir did not know either- he just kept pushing forward- what can anyone do? He had duties to keep him busy. However, a slight headache started, so he bid Belegion farewell. 

“I’ll return soon to see how you are. Please take good care of you and your parents. They need you to be there for them.”  Indeed, Belegion’s parents looked to their only remaining son even more. They were grateful the Steward came to offer his condolences and met up with them so much. Faramir did feel connected to Belegion because not only did they both lose an older brother and also because they liked the same books of poetry and Numenor and valued the outdoors.

And that was already more than a week ago. Belegion knew that Faramir did not make promises he could not keep. He wondered if Faramir was all right. He decided to write to him.  He did not think it was appropriate to go stalk out the busy Steward- he was indeed very busy taking care of Gondor.  Writing would be more appropriate.

Dear Lord Faramir,

Sorry to bother you but it’s been over a week since you’ve visited. My parents and I are fine and appreciate the reparation amount that was sent over. We are wondering how you are?

We made a personal memorial for Belegor at home to remember him. My parents wanted to bury his items, and I  kept one thing of his which is a picture that I'll put in my room to look at and remember in love. 

It is hard but we are lucky to live in a new age. I just keep counting my blessings. Is that how you are getting by each day? I was gardening today and there was a white lilac that just bloomed in my garden and I thought of you because I know you like the outdoors. Also, signs of hope are everywhere in the city if we look hard enough. The flowers are blooming again like it once was and I’m surprised Spring brings so much loveliness outdoors. Let us look at the small things that can make us smile again.

Please come visit or write to me soon.

Thank you.

Most sincerely,

Belegion

…

“I am feeling better, truly. Perhaps I can go into the office tomorrow for a little while? I promise that I will work only half a day and come back to rest in the afternoon. I would like to catch up on any messages I missed.” Faramir was already asking the King to return to work the following day, feeling antsy to return to a bit of normalcy.  The sleep was still questionable in Aragorn’s standards. The Steward was up at least twice during the night with bad nightmares but fortunately they were not as bad as previous times. Aragorn didn’t count interrupted sleep as a good night’s sleep. The fever came and went so there was concern regarding that. The shoulder was still cool and Aragorn could tell it was still tender and he worked with Faramir to make the shoulder a bit more mobile after the Black Breath’s effect on it. He instructed him to exercise it appropriately and daily.

“No, it is too soon. You didn’t recover for half a day yet, had a panic attack yesterday and a lingering fever. I am not sure you know how to control your dreams,” replied Aragorn firmly. “We are all still very concerned for you.  You are not aware, but the Black Breath has not gone completely.”

“I understand that,” Faramir sighed. “But what can anyone do?”  He was not as fatigued as the teas had helped, but he dreaded being idle.

“You need to take it day by day in regards to your recovery. The past is the past but we can tell me what you are truly feeling,” said Aragorn resolutely.  “You’ve gone through plenty and you need time for yourself.  After the events of the past two weeks, I have not yet confidence to let you go as you were, and we cannot afford another relapse.  You are to stay put and rest.”

Faramir stayed quiet because his liege-lord and healer had already said no. He paced in his room. “Then can I at least check for any messages? Here?”

“I’ll ask the servants to bring you any pertinent messages like mail.”

“Thank you.”

“In the meantime, don’t overtax yourself, there are teas for sleeplessness and headache that you are to take. If the fever returns, there is willow bark.  You are to be at least twenty-four hours fever free and nightmare free before we see another course of action.  Please rest.”

“I remember. Thank you, my King,” Faramir bowed at Aragorn.

“I will come back three hours after noon because there is a meeting unrelated to state affairs I need to attend.”

Faramir wondered at that but did not probe. It was nearing mid-Summer’s and the King said that there was a special event coming. He hoped it was a good event. 

There were three letters for Faramir including two soldiers thanking him for his support and reparation and Belegion. He read Belegion’s letter first.

Faramir was glad for his friend’s letter. He missed his friend as well and felt guilty he hadn’t been back for a week. Has it already been a week since he made his rounds? He was going to go after he had unexpectedly spoken with Gandalf and fallen into a swoon that day and that was  almost a week ago.  He wondered if he could go visit him without the Fellowship and uncle following him. He thought he at least could have that liberty to visit his friend. 

He dressed into his Ranger gear- he wanted stealth and privacy in his trip to the Sixth Circle. The less people recognize him the better.  He slipped out of the rear door where there were less guards and went quickly down from the level of the Citadel.

Belegion did not live too far from the Citadel. He was in the fifth circle and since it was a nice sunny warm day, Faramir thought the walk was calming to his nerves. Faramir avoided the street leading to Rath Dinen and the Silent Street at all costs. He was not ready to revisit the area where Denethor had met his doom.  He shivered thinking about that road but quickly walked the opposite direction.

Finally, after half hour’s walk, he arrived to Belegion’s home.

“Lord Faramir, what a lovely surprise! “ Belegion gave his mentor an embrace after he opened the door. “Come in, do you want some tea?”

“Why yes, that would be wonderful. I received your letter. Thank you for that. I apologize I have not visited. “

“I understand that you’ve been busy, reordering the country and city…I'm sorry to bother you.”

“No bother at all, no bother at all,” Faramir sipped the tea. He felt weary after the walk, but he was glad for the company that Belegion provided. The young man was good natured and had a happy spirit despite the recent grief he had to sustain.

They spoke about how Belegion was, about how the parents are. They had stepped out at the moment and Faramir was glad since he wanted to talk as peers to Belegion. 

“You look a bit less tired, Lord Faramir. Are you doing all right? I have not seen you since two days after the funeral- you looked more tired then.”

“Yes, resting is what I’ve been doing,” admitted Faramir.  “King’s orders.”

“Really? Are you better now?”

“Yes, I am on the mend. The King told me to rest a bit more, but I am feeling fine,” said Faramir.

“Oh, I’m sorry if this visit wasn’t–

“No, no need to be silly- I received your letter and thought this was the best way to show my gratitude at your thoughtfulness.”

“I’m in your service, Steward– I thank you more for your kindness that you’ve always shown.” Belegion bowed to Steward.

“No need to be this formal,” replied Faramir, holding his friend’s hand up from the bow. “I appreciated the line in your letter about being appreciative of the small things. It is so true. We should be glad for the new age and all the little things that make us feel alive, so I’ve come to thank you for that small insight.”

“You are never alone, dear Lord and we do only have one world to appreciate. Also there are those that still care for you, and I've learned to appreciate that.”

Faramir felt tears in his eyes. Belegion was right. Aragorn, the hobbits, Gandalf, Imrahil and of course Eowyn had all shown such kindness to him. If they were not around these days, he would’ve fallen into the Shadow already. He shuddered involuntarily. He did not want to. His place was here to rebuild Gondor and live in appreciation of the Fourth Age where the King had returned to also guide it to peace and prosperity. He believed whole-heartedly it’ll be a better world now that the Enemy was vanquished. Gondor did not have to fear for their borders anymore. And he was in charge of Ithilien.

“Thank you- you speak in such great truths. I have failed to see lately how much good there still is in this world,” remarked Faramir with a sigh.

“I believed you to be the positive one, Lord Faramir. You made me more hopeful since all you do is good for our world.”

Faramir laughed. “It’s my duty as the Steward to provide a plan forward. The King is wise and talented, but we all have to assist.”

“Again, I am always impressed by you, Lord. You’re an inspiration to many. I really thank you for being my friend and mentor. I learn much from you.”

“As do I, friend, as do I,” Faramir replied.

Belegion brought out some brandy and two shot glasses and some warm bread. “I am happy to see you- let’s have a drink, shall we?”

Faramir found no reason not to.  “Sure, I am grateful for that.”

“To our brothers Belegor and Boromir, the late Steward, and all those that perished,” said Belegion.

“May they rest in peace and let us always remember them,” added Faramir solemnly.  The two men clinked the glasses and downed the first round.  After two rounds, Faramir felt very relaxed, maybe a bit too relaxed.  Drinking had also made him feel less guarded. He had to be mindful he did not overstay. “What is the time?”

“It is still early. Do you have to be somewhere?”

“I do not believe so.”

“Relax, Lord! My parents are not expected to return till later.  You can tell me what else has been happening. Where is your soon to be bride? You found a maiden at the Houses of Healing? “ asked Belegion. He poured another glass, but Faramir politely declined. He did not want to return home too inebriated. He was already feeling some effect. The King was going to see him later.

“Why yes, Lady Eowyn of Rohan– she is the most lovely lady I’ve ever met- the most valiant,  insightful, and understanding,” Faramir smiled. “I miss her. It would be so much darker without her. I really am fortunate to have met her.”

“Why is she not here?”

“She went back for funeral preparations for her uncle who perished in the Battle of the Pelennor.”

“I’m sorry to hear that- will you join her soon?”

“Why yes, I will–very soon I will go to Rohan to give a betrothal speech.  We will have to wait till August.” Faramir thought it was a long way till then but he knew about the special event in late June and they had to be patient when Eomer was coming back to retrieve Theoden which was scheduled to happen in July.

“How lucky you are!” exclaimed Belegion. “I have not found a maiden yet to wed,” he said and looked down sadly.

“You will- you are still young.”

They fell to silence for a while and then suddenly, Faramir felt that he should go. He felt very weary again. He needed enough energy to return home.

“I better be departing- thank you for the company and the drinks.”

“Anytime, Lord Faramir. Please be safe returning home and come by soon again!”

“Yes I will.”

TBC

Chapter 14 - Hide and Seek

“Where did Faramir go?” Pippin and the hobbits were in the Steward’s room but there was no Steward. It was two hours past noon.

“Do you think I have a Faramir tracker?” Merry replied.

“This is not a funny matter,” said Sam. “Strider is coming in an hour.”

“Did he leave any note?” Gandalf asked.

“No, he did not,” said Frodo.  “Should we be worried? Perhaps he will be back soon.”

“Maybe he is with his uncle?” Merry said. “Imrahil said he would bring him out of Minas Tirith and it seems like a good day for it.”

“Hope he is feeling up for it. Aragorn didn’t mention anything about that being too strenuous,” said Pippin.

“You really think you’re Healer Took, don’t you, Pippin? Just because of knowing the medicines–”

“I have a good memory, what can you do but admit that, dear Brandybuck?” said Pippin with a grin.

“Perhaps he is better and went for a walk. We should not worry.” said Gandalf. He had been around and heard from the hobbits and Aragorn how the Steward was and felt that there should not be too many people around-just enough for support.

“Shall we go find him? I do not know why but I worry,” said Merry. “Pippin and I shall go look and Sam and Frodo stay here.”

“But the city is big- where shall we start?” asked Pippin.

It was not that Faramir wanted to take the long way home. He was thinking about where to place memorials strategically. He wanted to make sure those that perished would be remembered well. He did not mean to work, but thinking about Belegion and his brother made him want to make sure all soldiers would be remembered. Many were his friends. He felt a pang of sorrow remembering how his closest Ithilien Rangers had to go outside their comfort zone to help with the defense of the Forts and Rammos Echor. He lost a third of his men in the ill thought out defense of the Pelennor Fields. His heart felt heavy recollecting that. 

Suddenly a headache reemerged. He thought that the timing could not be worse. Instead of walking around in the bright sun which made his headache worse, he went into a shaded alley to catch his breath and try to ignore the pain better without the sunshine bearing down on him.

He sat down and breathed slowly.  He closed his eyes for a moment’s relief. Maybe drinking wasn’t a good idea.

Finally after what seemed to be fifteen to twenty minutes (did he fall asleep?), he stood back up slowly, trying to be steady, and make his way home slowly. 

Suddenly two small figures appeared and approached him. He felt both glad and worried about what they might think.

“Faramir, are you alright?” Pippin glanced at him worriedly, holding onto Faramir’s hand.  “We are glad we found you.”

“We were troubled when we didn’t see you, so we decided to come and find you. Where have you been? Are you alright?” Merry said looking at the Steward’s pale face. Faramir also did not seem like he was focusing well. 

“I..just have a headache. It is nothing. Sorry for… worrying you. Let… us return.” Faramir felt glad the hobbits were there as he slowly stood up and made his way back home with their careful guidance.

The hobbits guided Faramir slowly back to his home where Frodo, Sam, and Gandalf awaited him.

“Faramir! Where have you been?  You do not look well,” said Frodo. Faramir looked sickly pale again.

“No, I am fine- I was just visiting a friend—just a headache,” replied Faramir wearily. The headache abated a bit but he felt unnaturally weary. He took some of the feverfew chamomile tea that Aragorn gave him and went to bed.

“Did you eat already?” asked Gandalf.

“Yes, I will later, but I am weary now– I will just —rest,” Faramir’s eyes closed, head on the pillow, eyes closed before he finished the sentence.

Sam and Frodo exchanged anxious glances with the wizard and Merry and Pippin.

“Where did you find him?” asked Frodo to the younger hobbits.

“He was on his way home but he seemed like he had a strong headache since he seemed like he was resting. We found him in an alley. He kept quiet about how he was feeling. I am not sure where he went,” said Merry.

“We should be on the lookout until Strider comes,” Sam said with consternation.

Fire.

There was fire and it felt unnaturally hot, a glimpse of his father in grief in his last moments… he did cry for him, setting a vigil, but was it really real? Images of shadow and flame flared up.

Then Boromir appeared in a boat, his face pale but still beautiful in death. The sound of the horn was still so close but he could do nothing to help him at the last moment. He felt helpless- was it his fault he had perished because of the dream that he was trying to find a reason to? Did he send him needlessly to Imladris?

But there was also sunshine-  Eowyn’s golden hair and slender frame also filled his mind and he felt tears of joy to know such a beautiful lady who agreed to marry him. He saw Belegion’s eyes fill with happiness when he visited him.

Finally, he saw Gondor restored with the gardens he envisioned and also a statue for Boromir forever remembered for the sacrifice he made.

Faramir stirred, opened his eyes, his headache was almost gone but he felt warm.  A concerned Aragorn glanced at him.

“What happened?”

“Can I ask you what happened, Steward? You are feverish again so please drink some willow bark now.” Aragorn helped Faramir to sitting position and guided a mug to Faramir’s lips.

“But I think my dream has improved,” said Faramir after he drank the tea. “It was not as dark. There was a hopeful ending.”

“I’m glad for that,” Aragorn still was not convinced. “Where did you go today, if i may ask? The hobbits and Gandalf did not find you and when you returned, you did not look well, they said. It is already sunset, and they went for dinner which you should have as well.”

“I was just visiting a friend, Belegion,” said Faramir. “Dinner sounds good.” He did not eat much that day but felt his appetite returning a little. Contrary to how he thought, he still felt light-headed.

“Who is Belegion and why did you not leave a note to anyone? We were worried. You need to rest more. I will send a message for the hobbits to bring you some food.”

Faramir sighed, “He is my friend I have and he wrote to me to visit– I did not think it was too far, and I enjoy his company so I departed for a couple hours.”

“Given that you are recovering, we would like to know where you are- sorry if it feels restricting in any way but we want to be careful,” replied Aragorn. “You were away for a while and we were worried especially since your headache and fever reemerged – are you feeling stressed or anxious?”

“No, I am fine–”

“Truthfully?”

“On my way back from Belegion’s home, I was –looking at areas to put memorials. It should not have too much of an effect, would it?”

Aragorn shook his head, “Faramir, I did reprimand you not to work and thinking about work is inclusive of that task. We will take time to remember those that we have lost but given your situation, you need to recover first and foremost. Think about your impending ride to Rohan for your betrothal, think about where in Ithilien you will live–those are happier things to focus on at the moment until we can confirm you’re free from the Black Breath. Any anxiety or nightmare you have puts you back in risk, do you understand?”

Faramir nodded. “Thank you for clarifying –I'll be more mindful of the thoughts and plans I have.” He didn’t know that something as simple as planning could cause such a reaction.

Then the hobbits reappeared in the doorway. “Time for dinner, Steward!”

“As always, Pippin brought your favorites,” said Merry.

“Thank you, Pippin,” said Faramir with a smile. He was lucky to have the hobbits and he was always cheered by their company.

After dinner, Faramir found some energy to start a letter to Eowyn.

“Dearest Eowyn,

It was a better day today- i met with my friend Belegion who is a cadet that trained with me in Ithilien. He lost his brother too in the Battle of the Pelennor. He is doing well and requested me to visit him and I'm glad that I went since he wrote to me the most heartwarming letter.

Do not worry for me. I am better from before. 

Was that convincing enough? He really did not want Eowyn to worry. He was on the mend, he was sure of it.

I countdown the days and minutes till we meet again. Your hair is like sunlight to me, keeping me present, anchoring me to the good in this world. Thank you for coming into my life and for accepting me. I am so grateful for you and love you so much.

Yours forever and always,

Faramir

Faramir did not send the letter yet-- he did not want to avoid Eowyn's questions but he wasn't sure how to talk about the Black Breath for he was still fearful of it returning and was not prepared to explain. He sighed and went back to pacing the room. He will finish the letter later. Finally, he settled on reading the books his uncle had brought to calm and keep himself distracted.

TBC

“Dearest Eowyn,

It was a better day today- i met with my friend Belegion who is a cadet that trained with me in Ithilien. He lost his brother too in the Battle of the Pelennor. We’ve become fast friends and I am grateful for that.

Do not worry for me. I am better from before. The King says I need rest, and I am heeding that advice. I will recover from my insomnia.

Faramir stopped writing. It was more than insomnia. However, he did not think it pertinent to mention more than that. He crumpled the paper again and threw it in the waste frustratedly. He had been writing the same thing for an hour that night. 

He will continue to write the following day- he felt weary. He cleaned up and went to bed. 

Aragorn came in again to check up on Faramir and did not find anything amiss. The fever seemed to have abated, Faramir’s eyes were clear and not glazed from fever.  His shoulder was more mobile but for the ache that remained, Aragorn helped massage it more and gave some more warming cloths.

“Are you feeling alright? Any headache?”

“No, I am alright, thank you,” insisted Faramir. “I have the tea handy, and I know which is which now.”

“We will set watch on you till the Black Breath is certain to have left. Your uncle will come later.”

Faramir felt like it was too much, “My dear King, I do not need this much attention. I am truthful that I am feeling better. Please believe me.”

“Sorry, in my opinion, we need to be extra cautious. Please do not think this is unnecessary. We pulled you from several dark dreams, and it’s better if someone is here with you just in case the dark dreams return.”

Faramir could not debate the King and hoped that the night would go smoothly, so that he did not need anyone to mind him the following night.

…

Faramir was still  feverish the next day, and Aragorn recommended that he rest that day. More willow bark and feverfew was given and Aragorn made sure someone was there to make sure someone would be with Faramir if the Black Breath did recur. 

Faramir felt restless the whole day and was not accustomed to being bedridden, but the fever did invade upon even him concentrating on reading so he took the naps that were needed for recovery.  He was glad that his naps did not contain too many dark dreams. The hobbits and even Legolas and Gimli came to see how he was. By evening, the fever broke, and he felt like his normal self. Aragorn admonished him to be careful and not overtax himself again to fall into relapse. The nighttime passed uneventfully with remnants of dreams that Faramir did not remember.

The following day was sunny again, and Faramir was gladdened by the weather. Aragorn said he still had some dreams and spoke at night and advised the sleeping draught before naps and nighttime.  After Aragorn checked him,  Faramir was cleared to go on a short ride that was spoken about the whole week. Prince Imrahil brought him for a ride outside the city circles and Faramir was heartened to be riding again. The Pelennor was recovering but Imrahil led Faramir to a more wooded area that was relatively untouched by the war. 

“Tell me, isn’t riding good for the soul, my nephew?”

“Yes, it is the best feeling,” Faramir felt the wind buffet against him and he felt quite invincible on the ride. One of the reasons he preferred Ithilien is because the woods gave him comfort whenever he went on a ride. Where Imrahil brought him were flat grounds with many trees but a nice view of the city from where they rode. He would have to bring Eowyn on these paths when she moved to Gondor. He remembered he did not send his letter yet and promised himself that he would do so the same day.

“How are you feeling?”

“Yes, I am fine. This was quite a good idea.”

“There is beauty in this world that no darkness can touch. I am glad that you are here to see another age reborn,” said Imrahil. “It has been a hard year. You’ve been so brave throughout, my lad.”

“Yes, it has been–a… difficult year and we are not halfway through,” Faramir sighed. He was surprised despite all the obstacles and grief, he could behold the better things that were to come. And he knew he had things to look forward to despite the sorrow that had embedded in his heart. He just had to keep hopeful. He looked west where the Mindoullin stood and his heart went out to Rohan and thought about Eowyn and how he desired to see her again. All hope had returned in those fateful moments in the Houses of Healing where the King called him back out of all hope and then met a kindred spirit whom he understood. 

“But let us be grateful for each other and for glory restored in Gondor. Our King is kind, compassionate, fair and doing a comprehensive job so far.”

“Yes, that is true. I am glad that the dream of a new King came true. It is beyond our wildest wishes.”

“Do you know what the King is planning? He said that there is something he is waiting for for Mid-summer’s. I am anxious to go to Rohan, but he said this event takes precedence.”

“I believe– his long awaited Queen of Gondor is coming and there will be a wedding,” said Imrahil with a smile. “I overheard a conversation Aragorn was having with Mithrandir.”

“That is significant, and I’m happy for the King!” Faramir exclaimed. “We will have another happy event in Gondor. Do you know if the Council needs to do any preparations?”

“Well you are certainly not part of that committee, dear lad– you are part of the committee to feel better. You have your own wedding to plan- have you spoken to Eowyn about where you’ll have it?” 

“No, we have not spoken about it yet,” replied Faramir. With all that has happened, he needed to make a firm plan and present it to King Eomer and his Lady once he went to Rohan. He sighed. Aragorn had been right; there were things beyond city planning in which he needed to focus on.

“Did you remember any dreams last night? You did talk in your sleep,” said Imrahil. “You mentioned your brother and Eowyn. You woke twice, but I do not think you remember.”

“No, I do not recall,” Faramir took a deep breath. He had dreams but did not remember them last night. He did use Aragorn’s stronger sleeping draught though. He was fearful of what would happen if he did not have that tea beforehand. “It is too nice of a day,  so let’s just enjoy the moment.” He did not want to be reminded of the nightmares.

“I’m encouraged by your spirit. But you need not hide from us what is on your mind. Grief is hard to bear for one person. I too am grieving for Denethor and Boromir. You need not suffer alone,” said Imrahil gently.  “The war has taken much but be glad you are safe and whole and you can go on from this. We can eventually look back at this time in history and know we have overcome.  Can you give yourself a chance to see what you’ve accomplished? Can you gradually understand that you deserve happiness?” Imrahil had seldom been so forthcoming, but he needed Faramir to know that they can grieve together and also move on from this momentous time together.

Faramir felt unshed tears in his eyes and did not know what to say. He slowed his horse to a canter. He knew what his uncle was saying but he never had this truth spoken so clear and close to his heart. 

“Are you all right?” Imrahil slowed as well. 

“Yes, I am fine. I know you speak the truth, but I do not believe the whole truth of that and the whole circumstances of Father’s death is a bit overwhelming.  We do not have to speak of it now.”

“Yes, we do not but I just want to know I am there for you and that I admire your spirit and you need not bear this one on your own. Let me know how I can help.”

“I know, Uncle, I know,” Faramir replied and he took a deep breath and quickened his pace to a gallop again for the horse. He was glad for his kin; he needed more time to process. “I told Eowyn that the Fourth Age will bring peace and prosperity- I would not tell her that and not believe it myself.  I hope for better times in Middle-earth.”

“And there will be, nephew. We will have happier times,” Imrahil smiled at Faramir and put his arm on his shoulder. That was one of the qualities Imrahil liked most about his nephew- even when things were going poorly, he found inner strength to move on. However Faramir was still a bit pale, and Imrahil was mindful to not go too far from the city. They rode for an hour till noon at a slow pace and then returned back to Minas Tirith.

When Faramir returned to Minas Tirith from the ride with Imrahil, he wrote the letter to Eowyn and sent it immediately. He did not want Eowyn to wait too long for his letters and he did miss her terribly. 

Dear Eowyn,

Today was a good day. I was in the company of the hobbits and my uncle Imrahil. Uncle brought me for a good ride outside the city which you would most likely enjoy since it was a light ride, not too far but we did get to see the city in a good view. I can’t wait to bring you.

I met with my friend Belegion yesterday who is a cadet that trained with me in Ithilien. He lost his brother too in the Battle of the Pelennor. We mourn our losses together. Boromir knew Belegor since they fought together when they reclaimed Osgiliath the first time. Belegion and I have become fast friends and I am grateful for that.

We also need to plan our wedding- will you want to be wed here in Gondor? I hope that we will speak about the details in person. I desire greatly to know what we will do. Let me formalize the plans in Rohan. I am eager to plan our future together starting with the betrothal and wedding and also our plans in Ithilien.

I am resting a bit since the King says i’ve been overworked so therefore a bit overwrought. But do not worry for me, my beloved. I have learned rest is needed for everyone. 

I countdown the days and minutes till we meet again. Your hair is like sunlight to me, keeping me present, anchoring me to the good in this world. Thank you for coming into my life and for accepting me. I am so grateful for you and love you so much.

Yours always and forever,

Faramir

…

After the ride with Imrahil,  Faramir was only spared one moment alone for Sam, Frodo and Gandalf were there to have lunch with him.

They had light conversations but did not talk about anything too serious. Sam spoke about cooking and the Shire, Frodo was more quiet than usual and Gandalf was just his usual wizard-self.

“I was worried the first time I made the coneys in Ithilien,” said Sam. “We didn’t have taters, you see-that is a main ingredient that we must have to make it good.”

“That was how we discovered you,” replied Faramir.

“Yes, I would not have liked to have a fire, but Sam insisted we had a decent warm meal before the last trek,” said Frodo recollecting the times in Ithilien.

“That was quite a chance meeting and I was glad for it but fearful about what you were going to do,” said Faramir. “I am glad we are here together again to speak again after the Shadow has passed.”

“And I remember inquiring to you about seeing the hobbits and then telling Pippin that there was just a fool’s hope,” added Gandalf. “We are quite fortunate to see the Fourth Age of Middle-earth begin. Therefore, my task is done.”

“What does that mean, Gandalf? Will you still be here? Will you go to the West?” asked Faramir.

“That remains to be seen what may happen but I know my battle with Sauron is over and that was why I was sent here- to battle him and make sure he is vanquished.”

“It will be a hopeful Fourth Age. I am sure the King will reunite the Kingdoms of the North and South and the lands will be safer. I look forward to times of peace,” said Faramir. “Too much blood was spilled –we all hope that it is to honor those that have fallen and we go on in memory. We need to rebuild the times for peace.”

“You’ve been doing a wonderful job, Steward. You and the King make a great team,” said Gandalf, with his hand on Faramir’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Faramir said with tears. He did not mean to get emotional but in his life, he knew his value but needed the extra affirmation. He hoped that he would form a great relationship with the King. He had sworn his loyalty and service and he wanted to do his best by him and Gondor. He highly respected Aragorn and hoped that he could make him proud. 

The hobbits and Gandalf left the Steward to have some rest, and Faramir was glad for some alone time. He wanted to read and reply to the other letters he received from soldiers and Belegion. He was also feeling weary again. The ride in the morning was relaxing, but that was the most exercise he received in a while.

He started to doze off when he was writing a reply to Belegion.

He saw a clear sky. However, he was met with some foreboding feeling, a darkness that did not want to let go.

“Do you know why you are a wizard’s pupil?” a voice boomed from a distance. “Are you loyal to me?”

“Do you wish our places had been exchanged?”

The sky was no longer clear but turning quickly to an ashen red.  Red like blood that he saw with his comrades’ bodies strewn in the Causeway Forts and Osgiliath in which he vainly tried to retake. The Anduin was tinted red from the blood. Fire surrounded Minas Tirith.

Why wasn’t he successful? Why couldn’t he do his Lord’s will? Now he is dead. Was it because of his failings? He tried his best. What was his Father’s mindset at the end? Did he die angry? Gondor was in ruins because of him.

He had tried to fight the last opponent but never anticipated a sharp pain. He was trying to call his soldiers for retreat. He didn’t remember falling to an arrow but waking to–

“Wake up, Faramir!”

Faramir opened his eyes to see hobbits Merry and Pippin look at him anxiously, both of them holding onto him on each side. He had fallen asleep at his desk awkwardly with his face on the letter he was writing. Sweat was on his brow. He felt dizzy with fear. He hadn’t had a dark dream for a while– he thought he had recovered.

“What happened?” he asked hoarsely as he sat up.

“Another dream, Faramir! We will prepare some athelas and ask Aragorn to come over.”

“Can you move into your bed instead to rest?” asked Merry

“Yes, I can.” Faramir slowly walked over to his own bed and laid down heavily upon it. “Thank you, dear hobbits,” as he received a mug of water from Pippin. His head felt heavy, and he felt cold again. Merry prepared some athelas for him to breathe into to calm his nerves and keep the darkness away.

“What did you dream of?”

“Are you cold?” Pippin can see Faramir was shivering.

“It was dark again with flashes from the battle,” Faramir breathed heavily. “It was vivid again, but it didn’t happen last night. I don’t know why they keep coming back almost at a whim. I’m sorry to alarm you.” He closed his eyes and tried to get the images away.  Tears stung his eyes. He felt oppressed by the memory of the retreat and fire which was associated with his father’s last moments.

“There is nothing to apologize for. Pippin- are you going to get Aragorn?”

“No-he may come later, no need for him to come over now- i am… better,” Faramir tried to shake the remnant of the dream away. 

“You need to be truthful to yourself. I had the Black Breath too, and Strider told me I have to change the dream but also tell myself what is really bothering me. I had a bout or two when I was anticipating my cousins and Sam from the Black Gate. I was bothered that I was kept in the dark about them until I went to Ithilien. No one told me anything and the days of waiting were so hard! Being left behind was awful, but not knowing the fate of my kin was even worse!” Merry recounted that with tears in his eyes. “You need to be careful! You’ve had several dark dreams already. It is not going away by itself, dear Steward!”

“Yes, I agree with that,” said Faramir. “Éowyn kept me company as we anticipated the news together,” Faramir sighed. “Sorry to hear that it was so hard for you at that time, Merry. That must’ve been a trying time.” Faramir looked at Merry sympathetically.  Focusing on others made him feel better. He was still fearful and couldn’t face what was behind those dreams. The edge of darkness still pervaded. He tried to shake the darkness. He breathed deeply into the athelas that the hobbits had brought to him. His attention and focus turned to the room and the hobbits looked at him with concern.

“So my point, Steward, is that you have to tell us what is on your mind for the Black Breath to retreat completely. You have to tell us, your friends. And you need to let Éowyn know if you have not already. We can all help you fight,” said Merry resolutely.

“And I’m the most positive hobbit you’ll find and I have sworn to Gondor’s service. You have to keep me in the loop and let me know how I can entertain, help with your favorite meals and be of service,” said Pippin with a grin.

“Thank you- I will keep all this in mind. I…I  think part of the dreams comes back to my father,” admitted Faramir quietly. He had calmed with the presence of athelas, and he drank some of the warm tea the hobbits had given him.

“What else do you need to know for closure?” asked Pippin solemnly.

“I do not know–” though Faramir knew. What did Denethor think of him at the last moment? How about Boromir’s last moment? Gandalf and Imrahil both said that he grieved for him. But why burn him alive as well? He shuddered, heart pounding again as an image of fire suddenly flashed. He closed his eyes.

“Are you alright?” Merry held onto the Steward and gave him a mug of feverfew, chamomile and lavender just in case. The Steward pushed it away, his hands shaking, eyes filled with unshed tears.

“Let us not talk about it right now if you’re not ready,” said Pippin. “I  know that I saved you and we know that you value life, correct?” Or Aragorn couldn't have pulled you from the darkness the first time.  You’ve been saved thrice –your uncle, me and Aragorn; that’s got to count for something.  Also, we wanted to let you know again how indebted we are to Boromir. We are so upset he died protecting us.”

“Yes, we always wanted to tell you this very important point. We loved Boromir so much. We will forever remember him fondly. He was such a vital part of our Fellowship.”

“Yes, I know. Boromir is greatly missed. Thanks for letting me know how important he was.  The view of the King kept me back in the present and in life. I am grateful for that. I also need to thank you and my uncle for saving my life,” Faramir breathed and tried to rid himself of the image of fire and to stop the feelings of inadequacy.  

“That’s why we need you to overcome the Black Breath. We should just say the blessings of each day,” said Merry. “Calm down, and we can speak about that.”

“Yes, that is what my friend said as well. Belegion is his name. He has helped me a lot as well lately. I was writing a letter to him when I fell asleep.” Faramir was starting to feel calmer.

The hobbits and the Steward all said things that they were grateful for and that helped Faramir stay grounded to the moment more so.

“I am grateful for pipeweed and ale,” said Pippin.

Merry and Faramir laughed.

 “Is that the first thing you think about?’ Merry asked.

“It is important for me to relax!” said Pippin. “You would say the same, Merry, do not deceive me.”

“I would say you and Frodo first, Pippin” and Merry stuck his tongue out at his cousin.

“Faramir, how about you?”

“I am grateful for you hobbits, the King, my uncle, Belegion and of course Eowyn. It is true they say that comfort is found in the most unlikely places and I'm glad that we met each other. I met Frodo and Sam first and always knew hobbits were special.”

They spoke until Aragorn came in to see how Faramir was feeling. “What are you all speaking about?”

“About gratitude,” said Faramir.

“That is a good topic to talk about. Now how are you feeling today? Any dreams, fever or headache?” He went over to the Steward’s side to check his vitals and shoulder. Faramir seemed fine but looked weary still, the signs of anxiety were still there. His shoulder was still cool.  Aragorn placed a warm cloth on his shoulder.  Then he prepared tea for anxiety.

Faramir looked away and was reluctant to say, but Merry replied for him a bit too quickly. “Yes, but we solved it.”

“Now how did you do that,” asked Aragorn with a look of amusement.

“I told him how to battle Black Breath.”

“And I am not speaking to you, Merry- I know you recovered since I was there in Cormallen. It was a process, and it is different for everyone.”

“Now Faramir, did you dream again?” Aragorn looked at Faramir critically.

“Yes,” Faramir looked away. “I don’t know why it was dark again. I do not want to talk about them though.”

“Part of recovery is learning to talk about the fears you have, especially with the dreams. And the hobbits were here to help you out of it?”

“Yes, they’ve been a great help. I think I know one of the causes of the Black Breath,” Faramir said slowly. Constantly it seemed like Denethor still kept into those dark thoughts that would not abate. He swallowed hard. What would help in laying his father to rest of how he thought about him?  

“I need to learn how to handle the memory of Denethor,” murmured Faramir reluctantly. 

“That is a tough subject matter,” agreed Aragorn. “I didn’t see eye to eye with your father many times and we had different views on battle. For yourself, your father did appreciate you in the end. That is what Gandalf and Imrahil tell me.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that, but I am not sure I believe it,” Faramir looked down in his hands.  What kind of proof did he want? There was no way of achieving that so why dwell? He tried to think of something else he wanted to know.

“Did you know him well?” Faramir asked.

“Why yes, I knew both him and Ecthelion, your grandfather and gave advice and fought alongside them against the Corsairs. I overthrew the Captain of the Haven in battle upon the quays at that time,” replied Aragorn. 

Faramir was in awe of Aragorn’s memory, age and prowess.  He felt so young compared to the King and so inexperienced with knowledge.

“Should we get more athelas from the apothecary, Strider?” asked Merry. “I think we’ve run out.”

“I think that the apothecary does not have too many either. We need to tell Ioreth to have one of her lads ride out to get some. I will tell her tomorrow since it is a bit late today,” said Aragorn.

“For tonight, you do not have to fear the darkness. I will be here. Regarding Denethor, he used the palantir- there are few men who have the audacity to do that. I truly believe he was not how he should’ve been and fear and despair only made it worse at the end when Gondor was under siege. At the end, his mind was overthrown. Do not blame yourself for your father’s decisions. The only decisions you have to make are those for your own health and well-being, Faramir.” Aragorn’s eyes looked upon Faramir with concern.  

Faramir nodded and did not know what to say. Aragorn’s words did make sense.  He did not factor in the palantir’s role in all that had transpired. He was sorrowful to learn about the palantir’s effect on Denethor.  He just wished he had said farewell to Denethor. He also wished he had a proper good-bye to Boromir. There were so many words left unsaid. He didn’t fear the darkness. He had to deal with it but was not sure of the closure he sought and needed. Or maybe he had to live with no closure. He closed his eyes and wished that it was not so but it did seem that way. Is that the reason why he could not part with his family’s things? 

And how about Boromir- was his death in vain? He took the Ring from Frodo as he had learned. Is that why the Valar was punishing him? He wondered about these questions and wondered if anyone had an answer to this. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

Aragorn seemed to read his thoughts, “Your brother–he died well and redeemed himself before the end. He did try to take the Ring, but he saved the hobbits and he told me his last words of regret for trying to do so. I…believe he is remorseful and that alone is enough for redemption and I believe ...he shall rest in peace, noteworthy, valiant Son of Gondor.” Aragorn bowed his head and tears came to his eyes. 

Faramir felt tears in his eyes as well. “Do we have time to go to his last resting place? I would like to know…how…” but he felt sorrowful again and could not speak and bowed down in grief. How he missed Boromir- his brother taught him so much and it certainly was more lonely without him. How could there be anyone like him?

Aragorn and the hobbits wrapped him in the hug. “We shall. You can recover and perhaps we can do this before Mid-Summer’s.  It is about a three day trip to Parth Galen and Amon Hen, I believe. It is hard to navigate the Mouths of the Entwash, which could be tricky. You need to recover completely before we can go.”

“That would be a good trip,” said Merry. “I would like to go too. Maybe we can go soon? I wonder if Legolas and Gimli want to go too?”

“We will discuss tomorrow with the Fellowship,” said Aragorn. In the meantime, Faramir needs to rest and once I think he is mostly free of the Black Breath, we can go together.”

 It was getting late, so they talked about lighter topics and about the beauty that was still in this world to appreciate instead.  Faramir felt heartened and also anticipated greatly to go to the place where his brother was last seen alive. He fell asleep to Aragorn’s light massage to his temples and more athelas infused cloths that made him less anxious that the Black Breath could recur.

TBC 

Dearest Faramir,

Thank you for replying- i thought something had happened to you. I am glad that the King has helped you recover. Please do not think too much and overwork yourself. I know I said that before you left, but you really need to heed that advice.

My nightmares are not as bad as before but it would be better if you’re here with me.  You provide me with so much comfort and there is no one like you. I do not think the Black Breath has any influence on me- are you inflicted at all? Please be truthful to me.

I love you so much and hope to see you soon again and hold you too. I am lonely without you and wish to be with you as soon as I can. Please know you are not alone. Please know that I constantly think about you every waking moment. I cannot wait for you to come to Rohan. Let me dream about you so we can be together in dreams. Don’t worry, my Lord, we will be alright together. Let us conquer the Shadow together.

Yours always,

Éowyn

Eowyn wrote back to Faramir and sent it immediately again. But when Eowyn read Faramir’s letter a week later, she was happy that Faramir was keeping busy outside work, happy Faramir wanted a plan for the wedding, but also still worried Faramir wasn’t telling everything to her. She started a letter to Merry instead to ask about the Steward’s health and if he had nightmares pertaining to the Black Breath- why else would he have mentioned it in the previous letter? She would write to Faramir again, but she needed to know the truth.

Dear Merry,

Hope everything is well for you and the hobbits and the entire Fellowship.

I am well. Funeral planning is quite overwhelming for me but I am assisting as much as I can. There is also the preparation for the crowning of Eomer. We have been busy with many state affairs.

I am still worried for Faramir. How is he, truly? I am guessing he is not completely truthful to me. Is he all right? His letters are coming finally but does not speak about his health and well-being. Is there anything that is left unsaid? Please let me know. I would really appreciate it. We need to keep him safe from the Shadow. Before I left, he said he was fine but I feel like I know better. There is something amiss. Please keep me honestly in the loop of how my betrothed is. Thank you.

Sincerely yours,

Lady Éowyn

When Merry received the letter, he showed the letter to Pippin and asked, “So what should we write to her?”

“Most likely the truth,” replied Pippin. “You do not want our Lady to be angry at us if we are not truthful- Faramir not saying how he is is one thing, but us as our lady’s reporters have to be frank with her. She told us before she left we needed to keep an eye out on the Steward.”

“And we have been–we just need to try harder,” said Merry.

“Try harder at what,” Frodo asked as he and Sam stepped into the Merry's quarters. 

“How can we help Faramir better and I also just received a letter from Eowyn asking how Faramir is,” Merry showed Frodo and Sam the letter. “Doesn’t seem like she trusts the upbeat letters he’s been sending.”

“We can just say Faramir does have the Black Breath, grieving, but he is recovering,” said Frodo. “The King has it under control.”

“Is he recovering?” asked Sam. “Aragorn is still watching the Steward like a hawk the past week and a half and he is not allowed to work. And we’ve run out of athelas.”

“We have restocked when Ioreth’s errand lad rode forth for it,” reminded Pippin. “Athelas is too valuable to be without.”

“Aragorn is being cautious more than anything- we never know when the Black Breath will return. Grieving is a process that is different for everyone,” remarked Frodo.

“It’s been several days since the last Black Breath dream from what I know,” said Merry. “Since then, we have all accompanied Faramir in some way and he seems more light-hearted.  The wedding is fast approaching and Aragorn is busy. For the letter, we should tell Lady Eowyn, Faramir is getting better but also has the Black Breath?”

“The ol’ Gaffer always said the truth doesn’t hurt and it’s the untruth that can be damaging,” said Sam. “Also, by the time letters reach Rohan, would it not be a week later?  Do the Big Folk have posts like we do in the Shire?  Things are not as fast as Shire post, it seems. They rely on emissaries and messengers to ride that direction and the fastest is a week.”  

“That is true- letters are a bit outdated once the other person receives it,” Merry agreed with Sam.

“They rely on errand riders who may go back and forth between the countries but it is not always. The distance between Rohan and Gondor is far. Also, the truth is always good,” said Frodo. He was also battling his own guilt about the Ring but he did not want to speak about it either but that didn’t mean he was being untruthful.

 Ever since the Cormallen, he could not shake his own guilt and shame about what happened in the last moments of Mount Doom. Sam was the only one who guessed at what he was thinking but did not probe him to speak. Frodo had his own demons to vanquish, and he wished soon to return to see Bilbo then back to the Shire. The days were inching towards Mid-Summer’s Day as Aragorn said they needed to wait for so he was eager to leave MInas Tirith.

…

Eowyn received Merry’s letter a week later, read it quickly twice and tears formed in her eyes. She knew something was amiss, and she should’ve guessed Faramir was suffering from the Black Breath. Lately, she had also been having more nightmares, waking twice during the night. However, she knew she did not have it as bad as Faramir. Her losses had closure unlike Faramir’s. Losing a brother and father so close to each other and in such tragic ways was hard to accept without proper burial was a huge burden. 

She was worried before departing Gondor.  She saw all the signs- -the drinking, the tears, the talking in his sleep. She wondered how much longer till the King’s Company would come. She needed Faramir by her side to make sure he was alright.  She hoped he would open up to her.

In the meantime, she had to further prepare the elaborate funeral for King Theoden. She closed her eyes and prayed to the Valar that Faramir was in good hands and would come happy and whole.  She wrote letters back to Merry and Faramir.

Dear Faramir,

You need not hide from me regarding the Black Breath. You can tell me how I can help you. Please remember that you told me that no darkness would endure. Please believe so. You came into my life so unexpectedly but I know your role so clearly now. Stand by me always and I will do the same. We need to defeat the darkness together. I know we can and we will. You have so much unspoken strength. That is what I love about you. We came together when the road was broken. Now we see the path of healing and may we not continue upon that together?

Please think about the good. There is peace in this world now and though the road was hard to get here, we will do better and happier together. I needed you to pull me from the brink and you do the same for me.

You kept me grounded at the Houses of Healing when it was so dark. I dream of being with you almost daily. Let us reunite and speak promises to last a lifetime.

I would love to hold and love you forever.  Please come to me soon and we will plan the wedding and our life together.

Love,

Your Eowyn

Then she wrote to Merry:

Dear Merry,

Thank you for telling me the truth. I hope that Faramir is better by now. What has the King done to help? Is there more that needs to be done to heal him? 

I know he is grieving, and I just hope you also tell him there is just more good in life to cherish and to be grateful for. It is hard but we need to keep hoping. I wish I was with you all. Please let me know if anything gets worse. I promise I will not worry too much.

Hope the other hobbits are doing well.  Sorry for the short letter. I will keep you informed.

Yours,

Lady Eowyn

…

A week later, Merry read the letter from Eowyn and shared it with the other hobbits. He kept his letters brief but to the point and made it truthful for the most part.  It had been two weeks since the first letter. Faramir had been better but withdrawn at times. However, at Faramir’s constant insistence and stubbornness, Aragorn had let him back to work half day but with a close eye at all times and checked him twice daily.There were some days when Faramir was energetic and talked to them but some other times, he did not and withdrew with a more reserved demeanor -either be too busy or too tired. 

Faramir was glad to go back to work to keep occupied. The week of recovery restricted him and made him feel too idle. He promised Aragorn that he would let him know if he was overwrought or stressed and told him he would talk about any alarming dreams daily. His sleep improved a little, but others told him he still had dreams. He could not help it, he would say and he said that going back to his duties would not affect his health. He was still tired but not “dark nightmares” tired like he was before Aragorn’s daily ministrations.  He had tried to be more mindful of possible triggers as Aragorn had told him about. Aragorn also required the sleeping draughts and the teas that helped with anxiety and headaches and reminded the Steward to keep taking them if he felt ill. 

Aragorn also made a point to make sure he helped Faramir with his anxiety daily. Faramir was grateful for the daily Elvish massage to his temples which did help in better sleep. The daily sleeping draught was mandatory to take too and Faramir rested better with that tea which Aragorn prepared specifically for him. Faramir started to appreciate Aragorn even more than as only the King but also healer and friend.

Faramir made time to continue his visits to the soldiers especially Belegion, made plans for constructing his home in Ithilien and also repopulation plans for Ithilien. He made sure to take naps when he felt tired and tried to think better thoughts when pangs of sorrow threatened to take over. 

He read Eowyn’s latest letter and was displeased that she had to worry but glad that she cared so much. He became more honest in his letters back to her and therefore that added another layer of trust to their relationship.

Dear Eowyn,

I am sorry I did not mention the Black Breath but I did not want to worry you unnecessarily. I am truly on the mend from it. You need not worry. My dreams are less frequent and surely everyone here is helping me from the King to my uncle to the hobbits. They are sure to help me out of it. I do believe there is more good than bad in this world and I would never think otherwise. I want to be there for you and you keep me hopeful. Thank you for your kind letter of care and consideration. I wish to be with you now.

I have returned to work therefore please do not think i have been telling untruths. I would never want to deceive you. I love you too much to do that. 

I have started planning our home in Ithilien. I hope that you come back soon so you can tell me what you desire from our home. I would love you to be happy to dwell in Gondor. I cannot wait to start my new life with you.

I hope that your health is well too. Please stay positive for me and know that I love you so very much.

Love,

Faramir

…

Faramir remembered the trip to Amon Hen and Parth Galen the hobbits and Aragorn spoke about several days ago and made ready for the trip, making the necessary delegations for the work in Minas Tirith. He then approached Aragorn about when they could go.

“Are you feeling alright? How have you been sleeping lately?” Aragorn asked as he glanced at Faramir. Faramir did look better, not looking as fatigued. Aragorn looked at Faramir’s eyes which were clear, his shoulder was almost back to normal functioning.

“Yes, everything has been fairly normal,” replied Faramir. “I am well enough. I have not had any dark dreams in my recollection.  May we leave tomorrow?   This trip may help in bidding my brother a better farewell.”

“If you are indeed faring better, we will make preparations for tomorrow.” 

“Thank you, my King.”

As a result, not only Merry, Pippin, and the King went, but as did Legolas and Gimli. Gandalf stayed in Minas Tirith with Frodo and Sam, and Imrahil would be in charge for the days they departed from the city. Faramir was grateful that they would come on short notice and was greatly anticipating this trip. He could finally know where his brother had fallen and he hoped to make a memorial for him there. He felt tears in his eyes but he tried to push negative thoughts away as he rode forth.  What would he do when he saw his brother’s last resting place? Would it give him the peace he sought? He did hope to be at peace with at least his brother.

The trip took three long days. Faramir felt some anxiety return once they crossed the river into western border of Wetwang, being careful not to go into the swamp in which it was hard to navigate. He was so close to where his brother fell. Finally, he could properly say good-bye. The Fellowship made camp to rest each night and Faramir was quick to fall asleep since the ride had tired him.

Legolas and Gimli rode forth together while Faramir rode with Pippin and Merry with Aragorn so that they could speed up the journey and not leave the hobbits behind with the longer strides of horses. They did not take the western path since the rivers of the Entwash were harder to cross. They would take the Eastern way to Parth Galen and its neighboring areas.

They carefully climbed the rocky stairs that led to the side with Amon Hen. Then they walked down to the other side to where Aragorn had found Boromir. Aragorn remembered racing the slope and he was too late to aid Boromir. He closed his eyes and felt sorrowful. The little glade that Boromir passed was still there. 

He was sitting with his back to a great tree, as if he was resting. He was pierced with many black-feathered arrows; his sword was still in his hand, but it was broken near the hilt; his horn cloven in two was at his side. Many Orcs lay slain, piled all about him and at his feet.”***

Aragorn remembered like it was yesterday, and he felt tears in his eyes and he started to weep. Why was he too late to aid Boromir? He remembered keenly all the arrows that had pierced the strong tall man and how he had to draw the arrows out. He had wished he had come sooner!

Faramir was beside him and laid a hand on Aragorn’s shoulder.  “So this is where he fell?” 

Faramir looked around the forest and saw remnants of the recent battle. How close was Boromir to his land’s borders!

“Yes, and alas we were too late to aid him,” said Legolas. The elf was struggling to find words to express himself, but he had a far away look as if the sorrow he felt had returned and he did not know what to do with it.

“We were on the other side, where the orcs were plentiful as well,” Gimil recalled. “What a fateful, tragic day where the Fellowship was broken.”

“Merry and I tried hard to help but the orcs were too many,” Pippin said with tears in his eyes. “I got knocked out, and I do not remember anything till …till too late.”

Merry put his arm on Pippin’s shoulder, “Boromir was so brave to defend us, and we are forever indebted to him.”

“We sang three songs as we made a cairn to honor him since we were short on time, and we were keen to catch up on the captured hobbits,” said Aragorn as he recovered and was adamant to share the story with Faramir. 

“Where do you want to make a memorial, laddie,” asked Gimli to Faramir. Gimli had brought a small memorial stone and was going to customize a tomb for Boromir. Faramir was gladdened by his thought and was appreciative of this gesture.

“I am not sure yet; i may want to take a walk on more of the area to …to decide,” Faramir had come to Parth Galen after three days but was unsure what he wanted. He wanted to find a proper burial site and speak his last words to Boromir by himself. 

He walked off from the Fellowship deep in thought of all the good memories he cherished of Boromir.  He went meandering into Amon Hen and decided to climb up for a good view of the area. Memories flooded him of his dearest brother.  He taught him to sword fight, fence, play tricks, handle father, the best games… there would be no one like him that can fill the void. Boromir died honorably, defending the hobbits, but alas for him to pass so soon. Who would he share his big moments in life with without his best friend by his side?

Faramir found that he was not alone, walking up to Amon Hen to think by himself. He felt a small presence looking up at him.

“There may still be orcs around, so no one should be alone,” said Merry.

“I’m just …recollecting,” sighed Faramir.

“Let us recollect together all the memories that we had in our short Quest with Boromir. As Pippin had said, we are very fond of Boromir as well and miss him.”

“Yes, this is not a happy place, but there are peaceful elements of it. Do you want to let us know where you want Boromir’s memorial to be? I think Legolas wants to sing his song for Boromir. But when you’re ready.”

"We should have a meal first and rest since we will stay another day. We shall not be rushed on this trip.”

“Yes, I do not believe Strider is in a rush or he would not have come,” replied Merry. “Take the time we all need.”

“Yes, I appreciate all of you for this.”

Faramir inadvertently felt tears in his eyes. He felt touched by the Fellowship’s trip with him and all the bottled up emotions were still in his heart. He saw it was not easy for the Fellowship to come back here. Knowing where his brother had passed and how heroic he was helped him accept the fate that he was doing it for the success of the Quest. How the hobbits, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli looked as they came closer to this place, he knew it was not easy to return to. He sighed and he knew what he wanted to put in the memorial for his brother here. 

Legolas sang the song that he sang with Aragorn and Gimli when they prepared the cairn for Boromir.

“From the mouths of the Sea the South Wind flies, from the sandhills and the stones:

The walking of the gulls it bears, and at the gate it moans.

‘What news from the South, O sighing wind, do you bring to me at eve?

Where now is Boromir the Fair? He tarries and I grieve’

‘Ask not of me where he doth dwell- so many bones there lie

On the white shores and the dark shores under the stormy sky;

So many have passed down Anduin to find the flowing Sea.

Ask of the North Wind news of them the North Wind sends to me!”

‘O Boromir! Beyond the gate the seward road runs south,

But you came not with the wailing gulls form the grey sea’s mouth.”****

All of the Fellowship and Faramir bent their heads in a moment of silence. 

“I sang my part in the ceremony for the dead several weeks ago, so I will just say what I’ve always felt. Boromir was an indispensable, honorable, valiant part of our Fellowship and he fought bravely and with honor. He was strong in life; he will pass into the Halls of Mandos with their arms ready to accept such a brave and sacrificing man and he will rest in peace,” said Aragorn.

“He did well for all of us,” added Gimli.  “I admire his bravery, passion, and heroism. I miss him dearly. We wish him peace.  What do you want to put on the stone, Steward?”

Before he could answer, drops of relentless rain started to fall and Faramir could almost feel Boromir next to him. The wind picked up too and the Fellowship sought shelter in the tents that they brought, but Faramir stayed outside because he felt like it was a sign. Faramir never believed in ghosts but he felt somewhat comforted that the rain was a sign from his dead brother.

Do not grieve, you have long years to live. Be well and live on in good memory instead of sorrow.

The wind seemed to pick up and then the rain lightened as well as the rainclouds.

“That was a sudden rain,” said Aragorn.  “Are you alright, Steward?” he glanced in concern over to the Steward who seemed to be deep in thought and not mindful of those around him.

“Yes, I am well. I thought I heard Boromir and …and it was a good indication.”

“That is good,” said Pippin. “Perhaps he wanted to tell you something since he loved you so much.”

“He did mention you on our Quest,” added Merry. “He always mentioned his younger brother with love and respect.”

Faramir felt tears in his eyes.  “I am glad for that. Thank you for bringing me here.”

Faramir finally decided what the tomb would write and it would be on Parth Galen, facing the river that was Boromir’s last resting place. Gimli took some time to write and they were glad of the result.

Here lies most beloved brother, loyal son, valiant warrior, devoted Gondorian, member of the Fellowship and dearest friend

Boromir the Tall and Brave

We will never forget you and honor your memory forever.  

TBC

Chapter 17 - Closure is a Choice

“There is light and beauty up there that no shadow can touch.”- Sam

It drew closer and closer to Mid-Summer’s Day where they knew that something special was about to occur. The fair folk had given a sign at Amon Din and they were quickly arriving .

After the trip to Parth Galen, Aragorn became busier with the preparations for his Queen and all the elves of Lothlorien and Rivendell. The Fellowship could see his enthusiasm and anticipation at this time. Aragorn’s eyes would light up at the mention of the Elves, especially Arwen, and he made arrangements to have a great feast and ceremony to remember the day he wed. It was a day he had looked forward to all his life. He was finally getting married to the elf-maiden of his dreams. It was a long time coming.

It was a majestic time with all the fair folk in Gondor. Faramir has not ever seen so many that have arrived at one time in Gondor. The city was all decorated with flowers and pastel colors like yellow, blue, pink and red. From the first to the seventh level to the Citadel, the decorations covered the city as if it were a city of flowers instead of stone. For the banquet hall itself, there were tall rose bouquets for two hundred tables. Did Aragorn invite all of Gondor to the wedding? He wished Eowyn could see this. 

He saw another side of the King when Arwen Undomiel showed up. The King’s eyes lit up, and he embraced his Queen affectionately. The Queen looked stunning, certainly royal and even like the Valar. She wore a cream silk dress adorned with stars and upon her head was a crown. Luthien came again on Earth, and Faramir could remember how he had imagined Arwen and she certainly looked like her. 

The King and Queen talked deep into the night before the MId-Summer’s Day where Lord Elrond surrendered the scepter and laid the hand of his daughter in the hand of the King.

All Gondorians were glad in their hearts when they beheld this moment. They all sang together and blessed the King and his new Queen.  There was a very elaborate feast that night where food, drink, dance and music were plentiful.

Faramir had not seen such a wonderful scene for a long time and toasted to the Queen and King during the feast at Merethrond. All of the Fellowship were together to celebrate and all sorrow and sadness were forgotten in that moment.  Many lights were lit up in Merethond, one for each year the King and Queen had to wait to come to this day. Their smiles and laughter were contagious and all of Gondor were singing the many wedding songs that were played by the Elvish harpists and Gondorian band.

Faramir made sure to toast Aragorn and Arwen, “To the newly wedded couple, I do wish you the best and may all the happiness be with you.” 

“Thank you, my Steward,” Aragorn replied. “Soon we will be toasting to your own wedding. Before you know it, we will have another large wedding in Gondor.”

Faramir laughed, “King Eomer must accept my speech first when we go to Rohan. I may wed in Rohan; I need to respect my betrothed’s wishes.”

“Eomer will truly accept you to be part of the family, do not worry,” replied Aragorn. “And no matter where you have your wedding, we will have a large feast.”

“Perhaps we will have two weddings, Lord Faramir.  Indeed, it is quite an event to have two kingdoms join by marriage. The future is bright,” said Queen Arwen. “Do not fall into shadow, young Steward. We are here for you.”

Faramir felt gratitude and was in awe of the beauty of his new Queen. He found no words to say but bowed to her, feeling peace and hope in his heart that the darkness cannot endure.

Frodo was in awe of the elaborate wedding and had fun during the festivities.  He was so happy that Strider had wedded Lady Arwen finally. He had heard from Gandalf the trials and tribulations they had to endure to get to this point. Now that the festivities have ended,he was also looking forward to asking Aragorn if he and his kin could leave soon for their home.

Aragorn seemed to have read his mind when Frodo came to see him. “In seven days we will go, for we shall ride with you far on the road even as far as the country of Rohan.”***

Then Arwen gifted Frodo something he did not expect. The white gem that lay upon her neck was set upon Frodo's neck “When the memory of the fear and the darkness troubles you, this will bring you aid.”***

Frodo could do nothing but bow down at the Queen and he wondered at her words. Surely, he will find peace in the Shire? He did not know since his nightmares of the Quest returned lately leaving him sleepless and anxious. Perhaps going home would ease this anxiety.

Faramir could not wait to ride out from Gondor. Aragorn said that they would depart a couple of days from the end of the wedding festivities. He had heard that Eomer and a couple of the Rohirrim were soon to come to bring the body of King Theoden back to Rohan. He found time to speak with Eomer regarding his desire to wed Eowyn. They had spoken before, but Faramir was anxious to know how Eowyn was doing.

“How has Eowyn fared with all the planning lately? And how does she fare?” Faramir caught Eomer in a moment when he came to Gondor.  Faramir made an effort to find out when Eomer was to return for Theoden and made himself available for the future King of Rohan.

“She is well- and how about yourself? I hear that you would like to speak after the funeral when you come to Edoras?”

“Yes, I would like to be permitted to have a formal betrothal,” replied Faramir. “I am sure your sister has spoken about our intentions, and I do wish for your blessing.”

Eomer heard from Eowyn about her falling in love with Faramir in the Houses of Healing and had spoken briefly to Aragorn too about the new relationship. He was a bit doubtful because he was surprised at the speed of attraction. It was just a week at the Houses of Healing for what he had known. 

Eowyn had spoken about her love for Faramir when she went back to Edoras and spoke about her desire to live outside of Edoras, and Eomer felt that he would miss her when she left Edoras. He would be King after all and it would be helpful if his sister was in Rohan. But who was he to say no to a young one’s desire for marriage? And Faramir was not a bad choice if he had the best intentions.

“Of course you have my blessing if you indeed love my sister as you say you do,” replied Eomer carefully. “It is quite a fast attraction, but what do I know about love? You’ve known each other only a few weeks?” 

“Yes, I do understand it is fast courtship, but I do love Eowyn and promise to make her happy.  I cannot wholly explain it either, but I know that I would like to make her happy and fortunate for the rest of her days.  She is lovely, valiant, and beautiful. I am very certain that I would like to wed the White Lady of Rohan and it would help greatly to have your blessing,” said Faramir resolutely. “I am grateful for your help in this matter.”

“How would you like to proceed?”

“For tradition, I would like to announce it in Rohan. I am coming to Edoras with the King’s company,” said Faramir. “Perhaps you would leave me time to announce to your kingdom, formally?”

“Yes, that can be arranged.  You can do so after the funeral and after I am pronounced King.”

“Thank you, King Eomer. I will see you soon in Edoras,” Faramir bowed.

Because Aragorn had been busy the past two weeks, Faramir felt some anxiety return but he turned to the medicines that Aragorn gave him. His headache also returned at times when he was too tired. He guessed he was tired from helping the King with the wedding. Even though the King nor Council asked, he prepared the guest list, banquet settings and found the right vendors. He was happy to help the King for all that he had done for him these past weeks for his health.

It was at night when his thoughts turned a bit dark for unknown reasons. Visions of fire then darkness interrupted his sleep leaving him uneasy and fearful that the Black Breath still had a grip. He crushed some athelas and sleeping draught for himself and fell back asleep uneasily. 

Two nights before departing to Rohan, he was feeling especially restless, and he went out to the courtyard and saw a huddled small figure looking up at the stars. It was Frodo.

“Why isn’t this a familiar scene–are you sleepless, Ring-bearer?” asked Faramir.

“Yes, I am.  It is better out here with the stars. Let me show you something. Several days ago, Arwen gave me her jewel,” Frodo showed Faramir the white gem that gleamed like a star.

“That is a nice gift– that would be cherished forever,” replied Faramir. “Are you all right, Frodo?” Faramri perceived a melancholic Ring-bearer who seemed like he was battling anxiety too.

“Queen Arwen is quite perceptive. I am not sure if I shall stay in Middle-earth. I dream of the sea,” said Frodo as he took a deep breath. “It is a frequent dream and it gives me peace instead of sorrow.”

“I dream of the water too, but usually in a wave that I'm standing on top of,” said Faramir. “I wonder if they’re related?”

“I believe your fate would be different from mine, dear Steward. There is more for you to look forward to in Middle-earth. I am hopeful when I return to the Shire but not entirely sure about true peace.”

Faramir felt tears in his eyes. “Truly you must believe that the Quest will not affect you to that extent of you leaving Middle-earth?”

“That remains to be seen but if I do, do not feel sorrowful.”

Faramir did not know what to say but he did feel despair at the moment that the Ring-bearer would already seem to lose hope in recovering. It was not fair. He felt himself tense up but he took a deep breath and changed the topic. “We will ride together to Edoras at least and I hope that we can talk about all that is good in this world. Frodo, the darkness cannot endure and I hope you can see that. Do not despair! You led our fight against evil. Evil has succumbed because of your bravery and your endurance. Surely, when you return home, you will also see that there is beauty in our land and the good always outweighs the bad.”

“I hope so too,” replied Frodo, fingering his jewel.  He paused and then said, “You have to  keep looking at the stars for I do think that the departed look down upon us from there. My mother, father, Boromir and fellow comrades.”

Indeed, Faramir hoped that his family was looking down upon him and perhaps that is how he can go on in life. “I…” a lump was in his throat “never thought of it that way. That is another way to remember and to let go. The trip to Parth Galen helped a good amount but sometimes I become anxious for no reason.”

Frodo felt tears of pity in his eyes. “I’m sure it takes time. Give yourself time.  In the meantime, I am feeling weary. Did you get a sleeping draught from Aragorn?”

“No, I've run out unfortunately and did not go to the apothecary. Do you have some to spare?”

“Yes, I will retrieve some for you. Do you want to come with me?”

“Sure I will.” Faramir followed the hobbit to his quarters. He made sure to be quiet because Samwise was sleeping peacefully in the room.

“Here you are, Faramir,” the herbs for the sleeping draught. “Hope you have a restful night. Do you want to talk some more?” Frodo thought that Faramir looked like there was something on his mind. 

“No, it’s nothing,” Faramir smiled at Frodo reassuringly. He did feel a bit more anxious for some reason. Maybe it was because Frodo could possibly not heal in Middle-earth that weighed down in his heart. “I shall be fine.”

Frodo perceived there was something amiss. “I can walk you back to the courtyard if you want. I am not tired yet.”

“If you would like.”

Silently, the hobbit and Steward walked back to the direction of the courtyard and Citadel. It was a clear warm night not unlike the previous one in which they had their first conversation.

“Have you been to Rohan?” asked Frodo.

“No, I have not,” Faramir was starting to feel weary and he stifled a yawn. “Boromir has, and he told me stories of it. I need to learn more about Rohirric traditions for weddings.”

“That is something good to read up on. I hope I'm invited to your wedding,” said Frodo.

“Of course, though I do not know when it is. I have to plan in person with it when I see Eowyn soon. I am glad we can depart from Gondor.” Faramir paused. “I think I will retire to sleep now. Thank you, Frodo for the company and the sleeping draught.”

“You’re very welcome. I hope you can fall asleep soon,” said Frodo.

“You as well,” replied Faramir and he gave the hobbit a hug. He felt connected to all the hobbits but Frodo was special in his eyes. Ever since the hard questioning in Ithilien and how Frodo carried himself- he certainly had an Elvish air of wisdom.

Faramir returned to his room and he felt weary but no sleep came even though he used the sleeping draught. He wondered if Aragorn had a different one for him than Frodo’s. He tossed and turned with dreams tinged with darkness and fire. He woke with sweat on his brow and he felt ill at ease. He had hoped that Frodo would find peace and it was unfair if he couldn’t. He felt very attached to this fate and he couldn’t help but worry for the hobbit. How he wished he could help him! Then, he awoke two hours later before dawn, and started pacing again.  He took up a strong drink like old times instead which finally aided in a restless slumber.

The next day, Faramir did not wake till three hours past sunrise which was late for him. He quickly got dressed, had some strong coffee and made his way to his office. His head felt heavy, but he had to write a draft of what he’ll say in Rohan and had to prepare others to take responsibilities when he and Aragorn would be out for what would seem over a month.

There was a knock at his door.

It was Aragorn.

“My King, how are you?” Faramir stood up and bowed. “How can I be of service?”

“Can I ask how you fare? You do not look too well today. What happened? “ Faramir seemed like he didn’t sleep for a week again, dark circles under the eyes and pale skin.

“Nothing out of the ordinary I would say- only not the best sleep last night,” admitted Faramir. He neglected to mention the dark dreams he could not remember; he involuntarily shuddered in recollection.

“Then you should return to bed to rest- we leave Rohan very soon and you need to be in your best health. Here let me examine you.  You have worried me again. Did you use any sleeping draught? Do you still have dark dreams?” Aragorn checked Faramir’s vitals and shoulder. Pulse was a bit elevated.

“Yes, I did, but it did not work like the first time,” Faramir sat down on his chair heavily and tried to breathe through an impending headache. “I had some dark dreams last week, but I don't recall any last night.”

“You should return home and take some medicine, and I'll make sure of the sleeping draught you are using. Do you remember the dreams from last week? What work did you want to do anyway that is so urgent?”

“Do we need to plan who will be in charge when we depart for Rohan? Prince Imrahil is also going to Rohan; who will be in charge? I am alright now with the dark dreams, no need to worry.”

“We will have Lord Hurin and the Chamberlain guide the people temporarily. Most of the decisions have been made for reconstruction and I think we will be alright for the month or so we are gone. '' reassured Aragorn.  “And again, your health is of utmost importance so you have to let me know if you feel otherwise.

“I do hope so. We will be gone for at least two months,” Faramir said and wrote a few notes down for his own bookkeeping and then acquiesced to return back home. Perhaps after his nap, he will plan his betrothal speech.  “I..am not sure but I will take the draughts and rest a bit.”

Aragorn walked Faramir back to his room. He made a new sleeping draught for him which was a stronger one than Frodo’s and administered some feverfew with honey and lavender. Faramir nodded in thanks and wordlessly drank the herbal teas.

“Rest, my friend and breathe easy,” Aragorn massaged Faramir’s temples again and Faramir breathed, felt more at ease and fell asleep almost instantly .

Aragorn looked around the room and saw a half empty bottle of brandy - was Faramir drinking ? It seemed to have been recently opened. He wondered at that and made sure to make a note to ask Faramir about it. The herbal remedies should not be mixed with alcohol. Did the Black Breath still exist even now? He wondered with slight anxiety on how he could further help and made a note to himself to check up on Faramir later.

Later that day at about noon, Faramir felt better, and he could not understand what could be the cause of his unrest.  Merry and Pippin came to see him.

“How are you feeling, Faramir? Are you ready for Rohan? We will ride out tomorrow! I am excited,” said Pippin. “I have not been to Rohan.”

“It will be at least a four day ride,” said Faramir. “Maybe longer this time with the size of our company.”

“Hope we will have some rest in between,” Pippin said. “Last time, Gandalf rode so quickly through and I did not enjoy the scenery.”

“This time, I believe we will go at a more leisurely pace,” said Faramir with a smile. “I do look forward to the trip very much.” His heart was in Rohan for a long while for he could feel that the future lay within a golden haired maiden he so desired to be with and that is one thing to keep him going amidst each day’s occupations, anxiety and restless nights.  The change of scenery would be good for him. He needed to ride forth from Gondor to see his betrothed and not be worried of things that cannot be changed.

“Have you been, Faramir?”

“No I have not been to Rohan- Boromir has  told me things about it when he was there once,” replied Faramir.

“I hope we get to stay for a little while longer together there before we depart to Rivendell,” said Merry. “We are there for King Theoden’s funeral - I wonder how long that will be? I hope that Eowyn has been handling everything well.”

“She has- her letters sound like she has everything ready and Eomer was just here to bring the body back,” said Faramir.

“We need to sleep extra early tonight to anticipate leaving early,” said Pippin excitedly. “Is your sleeping alright, Steward?”

It was strange Pippin would mention that. Faramir chose to not let them know about the previous night with Frodo and just remarked that he was fine. “There is nothing to worry- I have recovered,” Faramir said evasively.  “Is Frodo alright? Has he been sleepless as well? We should see how he is.”

“Yes, we are trying with Frodo as well but he is more closed than you are with how he is. He says he’ll be better once we depart and he misses Bilbo and the Shire which is understandable. Also, the Quest, Mordor–I worry for my cousin too,” said Merry, biting his lip.

Pippin sensed the tension, and was worried about Frodo too but kept it hopeful,  “It is a long ride to Rohan. We will ask Aragorn about the right medicinal preparations. The ride will be good for Frodo and the sooner we get home, we hope, the sooner that he’ll be back to normal.” 

“Thank you, dear hobbits. I assure you that I will be fine. Looking after Frodo is most important. I really hope that he will recover in the Shire.  Going to Rohan is medicine itself for me,” said Faramir with a smile. He was so eager to see Eowyn again, he tried to keep that in the forefront of his mind at all times.

At that time, the King emerged and  found the hobbits and Faramir and asked how they were. “I heard my name–did I hear preparations for the trip?”

“Why yes, I think more herbal teas would be necessary because Frodo and Fara–” started Pippin.

“Yes, that is why I am here. Faramir, you were not well before- do you want to share? You have to let me know if the Black Breath reoccurs because it’s dangerous and you know that. Please do not withhold sharing any detail that can aid you.”

Faramir sighed , “ I don’t remember them but sometimes there is still darkness and fire and then I wake . It’s not something too tangible to report, my King. And the dreams are not as frequent lately.”

“Has it?”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is why is there alcohol in the bedroom ?” asked Aragorn gently but sternly. “Are you feeling despair or anxiety?  I still feel like I’m getting half truths.”

Faramir shook his head . “ Just last night I couldn’t sleep so I felt that some brandy can aid in that - it is not frequent at all. And I’m worried for Frodo. He was sleepless as well.”

Nobody spoke for a moment. The hobbits looked at each other in anxiety and dismay. They were all worried for Frodo and had been since he awoke in Cormallen.

“I am too. But he does not have Black Breathe that is lingering. I’ll give you a sleeping draught for the road to Edoras but no more brandy please. And I’ll have an eye on the Ring-bearer too. We should be open to each other. ” Aragorn glanced at the Steward and hobbits testily in turn and left the room. 

“When love is real, there's never closure,” murmured Faramir and he felt slight despair again .

“Sorry, what did you say ? “ asked Merry. He was distracted by Aragorn’s serious demeanor and he was troubled about Frodo too.

“ I was speaking with Aragorn before,” said Pippin who tried to keep things positive, “Closure can come in many ways .  For Frodo, we need to go back to the Shire and see Bilbo and hope that he can recover that way.”

“Sometimes you are a very insightful smart Took,” said Merry.

“I hope you all take care of Frodo when he returns to the Shire, and hope that he will find peace. He needs to take care and know that he is the hero of the Quest,” said Faramir. 

“We know our cousin is suffering thoughts of self-doubt but yes, maybe time will heal him in body and spirit,” replied Merry quietly.

“We will hope for that and we thank you for your concern,” added Pippin. He really hoped that Frodo would be normal once they were homebound.  Surely returning to the Shire can heal his cousin?

That night, Faramir could rest easier with the sleeping draught that Aragorn provided. At first, he was hesitant to fall asleep, since there were odd dreams tinged with fire, and he did not know the reason. He did not feel stressed or anything. He was looking forward to Rohan the most, hoping that it’ll be the beginning of something new. Which demons did he have to rid of himself before going?

He needed the utmost energy for the ride so he crushed some athelas for himself to make sure he had a restful sleep. Fortunately, he slept through the night and woke refreshed before dawn.

…

There was a large company departing from Gondor. All the elves of Rivendell and Lothlorien were leaving as well as Prince Imrahil and his family, and many knights of Gondor and Rohan. Never had any king of the Mark such company upon the road as went with Theoden, Thengel’s son to the land of his home. ***

Merry rode upon Theoden’s wain and kept the arms of the King and went with the Riders of Rohan.  Frodo and Sam rode at Aragorn’s side, Gandalf on Shadowfax, Pippin rode with the knights of Gondor with Faramir and Prince Imrahil. Legolas and Gimli were together.

It took more than four days to get to Rohan.  There were many stops including the fact that Aragorn made sure to speak with Ghan-buri-ghan and his folk and talk to other neighboring villages about his rule and also anything that may be needed from them. Faramir created the liaisons that were necessary to make sure the principalities of each village would report directly to the appropriate representative at Minas Tirith so all concerns may be addressed. There were reports of food shortages and some lawlessness that they did ask Minas Tirith to convey back to Minas Tirith to address the issues. 

Faramir became more acquainted with Legolas, Gimli, Galadriel, Celeborn and of course  Queen Arwen during the two weeks’ time. He was especially in awe of Galadriel especially with her gentle yet indomitable spirit. He had not been near such a powerful elven queen before. He wondered what Galadriel had perceived of his brother and he made the time to speak to her about it.

The ride through the country of Gondor was tiring and Faramir fell asleep better after a long day’s ride. He shared a tent with Legolas and Gimli and became fast friends with them. They had been briefed about the Steward and his nightmares and the King relied on them to tell him if anything was amiss. The hobbits were also not too far from him, and he could see their friendly and concerned eyes on him.

One night, he found himself in the awe-inspiring company of Galadriel and Celeborn and he found himself drawn to the majestic and magical company that Galadriel seemed to have. Her ageless and beautiful face was incomparable to mortal women. She was taller than other elven women, and had long locks of golden hair that went down to her waist. She carried herself with grace and veiled power. Galadriel seemed to sense that the Steward was moved by her and made conversation with him. 

“You ride to Rohan with hope and promise,” Galadriel said to Faramir one night when they were sitting by the fire. Others were there as well but they had an isolated spot nearer to the trees by Faramir’s tent. Galadriel seemed to read Faramir quite easily already as she spoke of him in the most telepathic way in which Faramir was awestruck. “ I met your brother in Lothlorien. You are alike but different from him. You both had a chance to take the Ring but had a different approach.  Tell me, why were you not tempted, young Steward?”

“As I told Frodo,” said Faramir slowly in recollection. “Even if I were a man to desire this thing, still I should not take it because there are some perils that a man must flee from. I have no interest in objects that carry alleged power. It was too sore of a trial for Boromir and I wished that he could have seen the peril as well,” Faramir looked down, the memory of Boromir was tainted only by what his opinion on the Enemy’s Ring was. But could he have helped it?

Galadriel seemed to read his mind, “Boromir did not resist, but he redeemed himself, did you not know? By saving the young hobbits and repenting with Aragorn ere he passed, he should rest in peace knowing that we all forgive him and your memory of him should not be tarnished.”

Faramir bowed down, “Thank you for letting me know about that. The King did mention as well, but my mind has been dark before your arrival and the wedding.”

“Be at peace, Steward, you ride to hope and promise of a new age and there is much to recover. Do not worry about the past if you are to rebuild the future.”

Faramir found no words to say but his eyes shone with gratitude at this moment with one of the most powerful elves of Middle-earth. His heart felt warm and he did not feel so peaceful for a long while. “Thank you, Lady Galadriel. I appreciate your words of wisdom very much.”

TBC

The purple shadow of Mount Mindolluin was fast passing away as the company left Gondor. The  golden fields of plains were becoming more plentiful and stretched out far beyond eyes can see. The company rode further northwest and stopped two to three times a day since there was no rush and that made time for adequate rest, conversation and food.

They passed by villages of Rohan where they blew their horn to announce the King was returning to be buried.

Finally, Edoras came into sight. Faramir beheld the city upon a hill- a walled city, sitting upon a tall peak, surrounded by mountains that were “white tipped and streaked with black”. The mountaintop capital had many mounds and Faramir could see many dwellings there but on top there was a great hall of Men that seemed thatched with gold. The light of it shines far over the land. Golden, too, are the posts of its doors. Faramir had never seen such a structure and city and adored and respected what went on to make the structure. Being embedded in the mountain reminded him of Minas Tirith as well.

Faramir rode in a steady pace and his anticipation of being reunited with Eowyn swelled. He had enjoyed the ride to Rohan but he knew it would be better with Eowyn by his side. Indeed as soon as she saw the company arrive, she was outside the gates to receive and welcome everyone, especially Faramir.

Faramir dismounted his horse, ran to Eowyn and gave her a huge embrace. “I’ve missed you very much.” Absence had made his heart fonder, and he had no second thoughts at all about getting married to the very valiant and beautiful shield-maiden of Rohan.  He breathed in her hair which smelled sweet like the earth. He sighed and wanted to breathe in the moment forever. It had been a hard two months without Eowyn.  

“As did I,” replied Eowyn, burying her head on Faramir’s shoulder, giving a huge embrace back. “How are you doing? Are you weary?” she asked with tears in her eyes. She stroked his cheek and his hair tenderly. Faramir looked more careworn, but his gray eyes were glinting in happiness at the moment, and Eowyn was glad he was so happy. She gave him a kiss on the cheek. He had come to her and kept his word.

“No, seeing you again is energy for the soul and I can ride again for fifteen days to see you again,” replied Faramir. “How are you, my Lady?” 

“We are faring well; the funeral processions will occur first, then the feast for Theoden and then we will formally announce Eomer to be King,”

“Then I have some time to announce the betrothal?”

“Yes, do not worry- we have it in the plan.”

Faramir and Eowyn stood hand in hand during the funeral. The company of the King’s wain brought the body to the east side of the Barrow-field. The funeral processions were made ready.

The Riders sang the song of Theoden, Thengel’s son that Gleowine, the minstrel made and everyone bowed down to pay their respects.

“Out of doubt, out of dark, to the day’s rising 

He rode singing in the sun, sword unsheathing.

Hope he rekindled, and in hope ended;

Over death, over dread, over doom lifted

Out of loss, out of life, unto long glory.”****

Merry wept and showed the most emotion as he cried “Farewell Theoden King, as a father you were to me, for a little while.” ***

Pippin gave Merry a hug at the foot of the green mound. The simbelmynë were plentiful upon the mound and signified that Theoden would rest in peace, knowing that he did all he could for his country and Gondor’s at the last moment in war. His forefathers would be proud. He could rest in peace and all could honor him as a wise, noble, valiant King.

Eowyn felt tears in her eyes, but she hurt less with fond memories of her uncle and she knew he died fighting the good fight and how he wanted to– with honor. The funeral was long planned and she had time to accept the reality. Now, she had to deal with other obstacles or perhaps anticipate a happier future. She had long tended King Theoden when he was under the influence of Wormtongue and now with him gone, she wanted to keep herself busy with something meaningful. She was intent to heal and and love all that was barren and grow a garden and perhaps a family in Ithilien with Faramir. She looked tenderly at him and caught him looking back smiling.

It was now time for the feast and the Rohirrim prepared an elaborate feast to honor Theoden’s memory. Eowyn then came forth and bore a filled cup to Eomer to announce him as the new King. The minstrels named all the Lords of the Mark from the beginning and then when Theoden was named, Eomer drained his cup. Eowyn bade those that served to fill their cups again and drink to the new new King, crying “Hail, Eomer, King of the Mark!”

Everyone drank to the new King and the food was plentiful.   Faramir would not part one step away from Eowyn, being mesmerized by her beauty. He had waited so long to be reunited. He sighed and thought it was a great moment despite the sorrow of the funeral for Theoden. Hand in hand, Faramir and Eowyn walked towards the new King and toasted to King Eomer together.

“Are you ready to say a few words later? I will announce your intentions at the end of the feast,” Eomer asked Faramir.

“Thank you. Yes I am more than ready,” replied Faramir, raising another glass to toast his soon to be brother in law and new King.

At long last it was the end of the feast and the hobbits were all tired (Sam had fallen asleep), Aragorn looked eager for the end of the night, Leoglas and Gimli were laughing together in jokes that they could only understand.

King Eomer stood up and said, “Now this is the funeral feast of Theoden the King; but I will speak ere we go of tidings and joy, for he would not grudge that I should do so, since he was ever a father to Eowyn, my sister. Hear then all my guests, fair folk of  many realms, such as have never before been gathered in this hall! Faramir, Steward of Gondor, and Prince of Ithilien, asks that Eowyn Lady of Rohan should be his wife, and she grants it fullwilling. Therefore they shall be trothplighted before you all.”***

Faramir arose and spoke, “Thank you, King Eomer, for granting our permission to wed. I am forever grateful.” He turned to Eowyn and held both her hands even tighter and looked into her eyes, “ From the moment I saw you, I knew you are special. Please know that you are the most gentle, valiant, beautiful person I have ever met. I wish to always take care of you and be there for you. We fell into Shadow, but the same hand drew us back from the wings of the Shadow, and I never want to be parted from you. May this be the beginning of something special. Lady Eowyn, please accept my proposal that we wed, take care of each other, and live together as long as we shall live.”  He came down to one knee and gave a betrothal gift, a sapphire ring that belonged to his mother which he had found to be fitting for his future wife.

Before Faramir ended, Merry and Pippin yelled celebratory words, and everyone was cheering and toasting to the proposal.

Eowyn looked at everyone, with tears in her eyes, and she too had prepared something to say, “I never knew I could fall in love so fast and so deep and I believe Faramir of Gondor is someone beyond special and I am so grateful that he chose to believe in me during my lowest time. I accept the betrothal and hope that we can have a full life together. I would love to take care of you forever and always, and it is beyond words to say the luck of earning the love of one so valiant, strong, modest, and fair-minded. I will gladly wed thee,” Eowyn finished and Faramir responded by kissing her on the lips, pulling her in for another embrace.

“Very well, we will set a date for the wedding,” said King Eomer. He was so glad for Eowyn’s happiness. Her sister’s glowing face was enough to convince him. It was a long time coming that her sister was this happy and he was glad that she had found Faramir. 

 Everyone was out of their seats and toasting the newly engaged couple.

“Thus, is the friendship of the Mark and of Gondor bound with a new bond, and the more do I rejoice.”* 

“No niggard are you, Eomer, to give thus to Gondor the fairest thing in your realm,” *said Aragorn in jest.*

Eowyn turned to Aragorn, “Wish me joy, my liege-lord and healer!” Eowyn can now look at Aragorn and not feel like she had lost. She had gained his respect, she was sure, but now she knew who she really loved, and it was not out of awe and desire to be more than she was. She knew her value and she found her best self with Faramir, desiring to heal and to care first and foremost.

“I have done so ever since I met you. I am glad now, you can be together with Faramir, the most excellent choice. May both of you bring joy, peace, and love to each other, always,” said Aragorn.

“Thank you, my King, for all that you’ve done for us and continue to do for us. We will return to Ithilien and continue to serve.” Faramir had tears in his eyes, but it was a joyous occasion and he felt content more than felt sorrow. Imrahil gave a congratulatory embrace, the hobbits did in turn with Pippin drinking way too fast, and Legolas, Gimli also toasted in turn. Faramir sipped his mead, knowing that he had to pace himself since it was strong.

“Lord Faramir, that was quite a speech!” said Pippin.

“I couldn't have done better. Sam, write some notes on how to propose to Rosie when we return,” Merry jokes.

Sam just blushed, as red as a tomato. “Sir Merry, now I…I”

Frodo saved his friend, “When the time comes, I'm sure Sam has the right plan, no need to tell him. Congratulations to Lord Faramir and Lady Eowyn!” Frodo cheered.

“Thank you, hobbits. We are so glad that you are part of the betrothal. Hope that you can also come to the wedding,” said Eowyn.

“Do you know when that will be?” asked Frodo.

“We have to talk about it,” replied Faramir. “We also have to set time and place very soon.”

Eowyn replied, “I do not think this year will be good.”

“And why is that?”

“There is too much still to do. I have state affairs to mind and as do you, with your newly appointed land of Ihtilien, is that right?”

“But all I want to be is with you,” Faramir whispered into Eowyn’s ear.

Eowyn laughed back. “We will talk about it tomorrow.”

The night festivities went on long into the night and Faramir wanted to enjoy every moment with Eowyn. It was getting late though, and Eowyn showed Faramir where the guest quarters were but then Faramir insisted he walk Eowyn back to her own room. 

“Will you be alright?”

“Why wouldn't I be if you’re so close to me?” Faramir could not help but embrace Eowyn and then swung her around and caught her in his arms.  She was so lovely. He did not want the night to end, but he felt weary, and it was getting late.

Eowyn laughed and was loath to part for the night as well. “It’s been a long day. It is best we rest, and we can talk more tomorrow.”

“Good night then. I’ll miss you till tomorrow, “ Faramir said as he laid a kiss on Eowyn's lips. 

The next morning came and it was sunny and bright. Faramir woke later and was glad he slept without any of Aragorn’s medicine. It was mostly dream free as well. He hadn’t had a night of uninterrupted sleep for a while. During the two weeks riding out, Legolas and Gimli both said he talked in his sleep and he woke up once or twice but the dreams were short and did not last too long. Aragorn had kept his eye out for any deviation from the norm constantly. Furthermore, after the talk with Galadriel, he had slept better. The long distance traveled also aided in sleep. He was feeling well, and was determined that no shadow could touch his spirit. 

He quickly dressed and made ready to accompany others for breakfast.

But Eowyn was already at his door.

“Good morning dear lady! This is such a wonderful surprise.” Faramir hugged and kissed Eowyn tenderly and Eowyn returned the affection.

“Good morning, my dear prince- how was your sleep?”

“It was good– it has been fine. Don’t worry.”

“I have been worried,” Eowyn said with a look of sadness. “Let’s go take a walk.”

They walked away from Meduseld hand in hand and went through the village, and Faramir took in the sight of a new city and appreciated Edoras for its simple yet long standing structures. It showed that the people appreciated horses in which most houses had stables to house their beloved creatures.

“What happened? Are you dreaming too?” asked Faramir. They walked hand in hand, delighting in the summer sunshine which bore down on them.

“No, but when Merry wrote to me about the Black Breath, I was scared,” Eowyn’s eyes filled with tears. “I do not want to lose you.”

“And you won’t because I am recovered,” reassured Faramir wrapping Eowyn in his arms. “Surely, please believe me.”

“Are you truthful? You were not when I left Gondor. The last two months have been difficult. I was worried about you.” Eowyn pulled away, blue eyes glancing at Faramir seriously, demanding nothing but the truth.

Faramir thought about those moments and responded slowly, “Yes, I was not completely truthful, but I didn't want anyone to worry. And I did not know it was that critical. I didn’t hear about Black Breath reoccurring.  We should both be careful.” He held onto Eowyn’s hands tightly. He remembered Eowyn’s pale face in the Houses of Healing, and how he had pulled her back from despair. In turn, he found a place for himself of importance that necessitated him to look beyond his losses.

“Can you promise to be truthful to me no matter what? That is how I know how to take care of you,” Eowyn pleaded. “I need to know how I can help you through the bad times, and we will then go through the good times together even better.”

“Yes, I will be truthful to you, my lady,” Faramir did not feel so loved in a while and he was very moved by Eowyn. “I will promise you to not let you worry but will let you in on my problems. Though now, I do not feel like there is any darkness since I've seen you and you are my light. Know that you still have such a huge role in life.”

“You need to let me know about your nightmares. I have them too. I’ve gotten better as well, but is there anything that still bothers you? It’ll take time. Grief comes in and out and takes you without you knowing. I know I still want to feel my mother’s embrace, but she has passed so long now that only the childhood memories still stand by but I just…hope for a brighter future.”

“And yes, we will have that,” said Faramir resolutely and folded Eowyn into a hug. Then he clasped onto her hands again, looked into her eyes  and said, “I am hopeful too despite the sorrow that still exists.   My father… I need to know how to deal with his decisions at the end…” Faramir trailed. That was one issue he could not handle yet. The ghost of Denethor would not be easily vanquished. He closed his eyes and tried to not let fear of how Denethor died take over. He shuddered.

“Do not fault yourself for something you cannot change. We will certainly see how you can memorialize him better but for now, just concentrate on yourself.” Eowyn pulled Faramir closer. There seemed to still be a shadow upon Faramir when Denethor was mentioned because he could not look at her, and he seemed to breathe harder as in fear or grief.

“Yes, I agree–it’ll take time,” Faramir felt some dark thoughts starting to occur, but the sunlight was brighter and Eowyn looked at him, and he felt heartened by hope instead of despair.

“Anything else you need to share with me?” Eowyn glanced at a pensive Faramir.

“No, you give me hope, and that is enough for me,” replied Faramir with a smile.

“Let’s go break our fast. We prepared a lot of food for the guests of honor,” said Eowyn as she led Faramir to the dining hall.

**taken from Many Partings, Return of the King 

TBC

Chapter 19 - Many Farewells

“Time passes. In the morning we must each go swiftly on the ways appointed to us.” Faramir, The Window on the West

 The festivities of the funeral and crowning of Eomer had come to a close and the elves and hobbits were making their way to depart. There were many goodbyes including Faramir with the hobbits, Gandalf and Aragorn. The elves of Rivendell and Lothlorien were going the same direction. At that time Arwen and Elrond also had their farewell.

Eowyn found time to speak with Aragorn alone.  She knew Aragorn had done much the past two months for Faramir. Merry made sure to write in the detail that Faramir tended to omit.

“What is on your mind, my lady?” Aragorn asked when he saw that Eowyn approached him.

“I would like to know the details about the Black Breath and how Faramir is doing.”

“Did he not mention it to you ?” Aragorn asked quietly.

“Yes, but in pieces. I desire to know if he is truly recovered and what I can do to aid him at all times. Do you use any special medicines? He did mention kingsfoil to me but we only use that if the Black Breath indeed has returned, correct?”

“Yes that is true and I have not used it for a couple weeks now,” replied Aragorn. “I think he is truthful to say he is recovered, but it is better to always err on the side of caution. He becomes anxious so make sure he is not overwrought for that is when his headaches reoccur. For anxiety, I do have tea and I administer a massage to his temples which helps him. He should be better with you by his side,” Aragorn finished with a smile. “I am not returning to Gondor till after September, and Faramir can stay in Edoras as long as you both see fit. I think a change of scenery will only help him.  I am following Gandalf and the hobbits to meet Treebeard.”

“Thank you my liege-lord and King. I appreciate your insight into this important matter greatly and I will tend to my betrothed accordingly,” Eowyn bowed and smiled to Aragorn her gratitude. “Thank you for tending to Lord Faramir the past two months. I knew something was amiss before I left and am glad he is on the mend. I was frightened for a long time.”

“Do not worry, Lady Eowyn. Grief takes time and only time can heal.  I am hopeful for our Steward; hope is also very alive in him as well,” Aragorn replied. “You can anchor him in the present, and I am sure that he would appreciate that.”

Eowyn did not find any words to say. She bowed to the King. “Thank you again. I am hopeful as well, for I see hope in the future and glad we could be of service to you in the future. I heard from Faramir, he will govern Ithilien?”

“Yes, that is true- you and him will be the Lord and Lady of Emyn Arnen. I believe both of you will be happy there.”

Eowyn bowed. “Thank you for the honor. It will be good to be out of the city that still has too much memory,” agreed Eowyn. “I thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

“I’ve only wished you happiness, lady. Thank you for accepting this proposal of governance and our Steward and Prince will be glad for your presence.  I will see you in Gondor soon,” Aragorn retreated from Lady Eowyn.

The hobbits were departing soon from Edoras, and Faramir felt loath to depart with them. He had grown to love all of them in their unique ways. He knew Merry and Pippin would come visit again but not certain if Frodo and Sam would make the long journey again. Perhaps he would visit them in the Shire. He was hopeful that he would want to in the near future.  Maybe they would come for next year’s wedding.  He was hopeful on that matter but nevertheless, he made certain to give each a very fond farewell.

“Do not forget to write!” said Pippin. “Do not hesitate to summon me to your services. Merry and I will be back soon.”

“You are all invited to the wedding,” replied Faramir. I will let you know as soon as the details are set.”

“I look forward to another royal party,” replied Pippin with a grin.

“I will cook coneys and think of you,” said Sam as Faramir guided him into a hug. Sam’s face was red again but he was glad for Faramir’s hug. He would miss him very much as Faramir had become his favorite big person aside from Strider. His down to earth ways and wisdom was second to no other Big Person he had ever met. 

“I also know that you’re quite the gardener, and will ask you for advice on how we can make Ithilien beautiful again. Lady Eowyn and I would love a garden in our own new home. Be sure to share your advice, Samwise,” said Faramir.

“Indeed I will! It would be my pleasure,” said Sam.

“We can meet in Rohan too when I serve King Eomer. Lady Eowyn did give me a nice horn for which I am grateful,” said Merry.

“Yes, that is a very nice parting gift.Our Lady always does well with gift giving. Use it well. Thank you for helping me in the Houses of Healing, Merry,” said Faramir with a wink. “Things would not have been the same without you there.”

Merry smiled, “Of course things would not have been the same. I think I need credit for bringing you and the Lady together. I know what both of you need.  A slight mention in the wedding is all I need.”

Faramir laughed, “Now is that so? I will mention that in our wedding that we had a hobbit match-maker and make sure you have due mention.”

Merry grinned at the thought. He had indeed used his time wisely while he recovered from the battle. He was very glad that Eoywn and Faramir found love and could heal each other. He would be sure to keep correspondence with each of them.  And he did hope to attend Faramir’s wedding. He wanted to travel everywhere to see his friends outside the Shire now.

“Frodo, do take care of yourself,”Faramir faced the quiet hobbit. 

“Yes, you do too. I will write,” Frodo felt tears in his eyes. He had always felt an affinity to Faramir and was grateful for the advice and provisions into Mordor on their last leg of the journey. The time in Gondor had only solidified their friendship.

“I hope you find peace in your country, dear friend,” said Faramir as he embraced the smaller hobbit.  “Please try to think of the good in our world and how you played such a key part to help us maintain that and also rid us of evil forever.”  

“Yes I hope so. We will meet again,” said Frodo with a smile.  “Don’t forget the stars.”

“Indeed, I will look up to them and always think of you,” Faramir replied.  He watched him go wondering how so seemingly small a hobbit could have endured so much.

“We will miss you Steward, but as I promised the King, a knight of Gondor will always come and serve and I will be back,” said Pippin. “ Do take care, Faramir!”

“Yes, I will. Thank you dear hobbits. And yes, I will write the letter to you first, Pippin to come and serve Gondor. Report to us annually.  Be careful in the last legs of the journey. I will come to the Shire with Eowyn and the King at a future date,” said Faramir.

“Go where?” Aragorn also emerged into the conversation.

“To the Shire- I have never been,” said Faramir.

“It is a wondrous, lovely place with more of our hobbits but of course these four are the best of them,” said Aragorn with a smile.

“You are leaving north with the hobbits?” asked Faramir.

“Yes, I am leaving Edoras. I need to bid hello to the Ents that Gandalf keeps mentioning. They are keeping Saruman in Orthanc and we will see what to do with him. I hope that we will protect the Ents too under my Kingship.”

“Will you return to Edoras?”

“No, I do not believe so. I will directly go back to Gondor if there are no other matters to attend to. How are you feeling?”

“I am feeling fine, thank you King,” Faramir bowed down and then looked up with sincere gratitude in his heart. He was reluctant at first to talk to Aragorn about the nightmares he was having but over the past two months, he saw that he could open up without fear of judgment. The King was not like his father and he found some similarities with himself. If it wasn’t for Aragorn, he did not know how he would battle the Black Breath. For this he would always be grateful.

“Thank you for your help the past two months,” said Faramir quietly. “I am grateful for your care.”

“There is no need for thanks, only to continue what you’ve been doing– which is being a strong ally and friend to me,” replied Aragorn. “Rest well in Edoras, plan with Eowyn and then we will see each other again soon at the end of the year.  You deserve this rest.”

Faramir bowed to the King and felt no words to say but felt like Aragorn was more than his liege-lord and gave him a hug which the King returned. He would miss Aragorn till he saw him again.

“Thank you, my King, for all that you have done for me,” Faramir said gratefully.

“Stay well, Steward. Remember to always seek my help if you need it. I will see you back in Gondor. Take all the time you need in Edoras,” replied Aragorn.

Faramir bowed again and felt appreciative of his new King and vowed to always also help Aragorn whenever he needed.

Gandalf also said his farewell to the Steward, “Be well dear lad and never forget the wisdom that you inherently have. Till we meet again…I know you will fare well since I’ve seen that potential ever since you were a wee lad,” said Gandalf with a wink.

Faramir laughed, “Are you sure it was not Boromir you were fond of more? I may have been too curious about Numenorean and Elvish lore, being the curious person I am. I hope that you will travel to Gondor again. Do you think you will?”

“My travels are not certain but as I have told you that my time in Middle-earth may be drawing to an end. I will travel to Rivendell and Eriador and we will see when I will travel south again. Again, be well in Edoras and I wish you well with Lady Eowyn.”

Faramir bowed low and then also embraced the wizard. 

Legolas and Gimli went forward to the Glittering Caves as was promised by Legolas to Gimli while the rest of the company went further North.

Faramir stood next to Eowyn hand in hand as they saw the company go forth from Edoras galloping at a leisurely pace away from the city.

.............

Faramir was standing on a precipice. Dark clouds gathered above. A dark wave was descending, and it threatened to engulf the whole city. He could only observe from afar and do nothing. He felt sorrowful that he could not warn the city’s inhabitants.

There was a white ship that bore the lucky ones forth from the catastrophe that was about to happen. A small dark-haired hobbit was upon the boat and he looked sorrowful and guilty. Oh but why did he look so anguished and in pain?

The cool water became rain that drenched even those that were lucky to leave. Can we pull the curtains and see the sunshine?

Faramir woke up with a start. Sweat was on his brow and it was the middle of the night. He had this dream twice in consecutive nights and gasped at the authenticity of it. It did not feel like a dark dream but instead seemed to be a portent of things to come. He realized that he was alone in the guest quarters in Edoras. He could not sleep anymore and stood up. He started to pace. Fortunately there was no headache, only slight anxiety which he knew how to deal with.

He wondered why he obtained that dream. Was it a portent like the one about the Halfling’s bane? Did he dream of Frodo passing into the West? He stayed up the rest of the night since he was fearful that he could fall into a dark dream.

“Did you sleep last night? You look a bit pale, nephew.”

Imrahil had stayed in Edoras to bond further with his future related kingdom which would be akin soon. King Eomer had insisted that any of Faramir’s relatives stay so that he could get to know them better.  King Eomer had met Imrahil’s family at Aragorn’s wedding and felt obligated to get to know his future brother-in -law's uncle a bit better.

Faramir felt embarrassed to be asked this during breakfast in front of King Eomer and Eowyn. He was not in the best appetite, and he felt only connected to the coffee that was served. Eowyn immediately looked at him with concern and grasped his hand.

“No, I am fine, surely. Please, let’s continue the meal and plan the wedding,” replied Faramir with composure and gave his uncle a look to indicate that he would like to be asked at a later time.

After breakfast, Eowyn led Faramir alone and talked to him about different things from the time and place of the wedding to where they would live.  They spoke about the place in which it will be held. Eowyn and Eomer thought Rohan in the following year would be suitable. Faramir thought it was a good idea too. He liked the environment of Rohan and though Gondor would have been repaired by the following year, he would acquiesce to the wishes of his bride. Eowyn just smiled at him as he stated details of when he would come to prepare if necessary. And it was at this moment, they decided that the wedding would be in late May to June of 3020.

Finally she changed the topic and asked, “Did you have a dream last night? You look quite weary, and you were not yourself during breakfast..”

“I’ve had better nights,” said Faramir with a sigh. “I dreamt…dreamt of water again. It seemed like a portent, but I really hope not. It was the second night with the same dream.”

“Is it from the Black Breath?” asked Eowyn in fear. She wrapped Faramir in a hug. “Can you tell me details?”

“No, I do not believe so. I become more anxious if it recurs. I do not think it is that serious.”

“You have to be truthful- I did not stay behind to have untruths, Faramir,” Imrhahil suddenly came from nowhere. “Does it make you fearful? Is there a dark element?”

“Uncle, I assure you that I am well. I would surely tell you otherwise. My dream was not from the Black Breath,” Faramir insisted. If the dream recurred again, he would share but he did not think it was alarming.

Imrahil and Eowyn exchanged glances but wordlessly came to a conclusion that they would keep an eye on Faramir that night. Faramir then changed the topic entirely, and they could not persuade him to speak more about it.

Instead, he continued to talk about the wedding details. Faramir could not be more excited about the wedding next year. However, he felt like there was something missing and he felt sorrowful that so little kin was left to celebrate the biggest event of his life. Would his family be happy for him? Is it right that he is this eager to move on? Was he ready for these celebrations?

That night, Faramir could not sleep because he was thinking about honor, remembrance, and his family. He went outside and looked up at the stars like how Frodo and he had done and the stars seem to be twinkling more brightly in Edoras than in Gondor. He then remembered old lore from the First Age of Middle-earth and the names of the ancient stars and they were Wilwarin, Telumendil, Soronume, Anarrima, Menelmacar. He was in awe that all of them were so brightly shown tonight.

“Are you alright, my Lord?” Eowyn appeared beside him and held tightly onto his cold hand. “Please be truthful to me.”

“Yes, I am always alright besides you,” Faramir looked at Eowyn’s blue eyes and he could not help but lose himself in them and feel content that his future wife could hold him in such high esteem. But still he sighed. He held onto Eowyn’s hand in one hand and tenderly brushed her cheek with his other hand. 

He looked up to the sky and said, “How brightly the constellations from the old tales shine tonight, Eowyn! Frodo told me the stars… the stars could hold our loved …ones.  And I believe… they are …looking down.” Tears had gathered involuntarily in his eyes. Was he ready for the next steps in life? How can he truly be ready? 

Eowyn brought Faramir’s face close next to hers and Faramir could see that she had tears too. “Frodo is right. They do look down upon us and are always there for us. My uncle, cousin, parents… I feel them daily in my heart. We are never alone, my beloved. We will always, always remember them.  Remember the tale of Earendil? He goes on through us remembering his star.”

Faramir kissed Eowyn’s forehead tenderly. “Yes, we will remember them fondly. And I do not believe we are alone, either.” He clasped both Eowyn’s hands gently, their heads meeting to remember together.

“I hope they will be happy for us,” whispered Faramir into Eowyn’s ears. His eyes were filled with tears. How he wished he had more friends and family to be there for him in the events that would change his life.

“They will be– we will do something in the ceremony to remember them. Even before if need be,” replied Eowyn. She knew exactly how Faramir felt with the losses endured, and she needed more time before next year’s celebration too. It was a turning point in her life and she also was moving to another part of Middle-earth. Change was good, but she did not want to feel overwhelmed. It was a good plan to wait till next year.

They stood looking at the stars and identified each of Arda’s stars to represent each of the dead that they still honored so lovingly in their hearts.

TBC