That Charming Brandybuck Lad

Merry is 25 and Pippin is 17

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"Stop crunching," Merry complained as he lay there on the bank, eyes closed and hands resting over his chest. He yawned and stretched out his legs, getting comfortable.

"S’hard to eat an apple without crunching," Pippin observed as he sat next to his older cousin.

"You’ve had enough apples," Merry said, between yawns. "Try something new for a change and just be quiet."

Pippin wrinkled up his nose and looked over at Merry. "Very amusing. I can be quiet if I want to and I have done so many times."

"I must have missed all of them, which would be quite impossible as you are always with me," Merry said, dryly. He shifted a bit on the soft grass but did not open his eyes.

"I am not always with you," Pippin growled and frowned.

Merry laughed softly. "Then some little runt of a hobbit who looks just like you is here when you are not."

Pippin huffed and stood. "So I suppose that is your way of telling me to go away," he said in an injured tone. "Fine! I know when I’m not wanted. I know when it’s time to take my leave of someone or someplace. I have plenty of places that I can go where they will welcome me with open arms. I don’t know why I waste any time at all with you."

"Me either," Merry said, smiling. "With so many other choices open to you I am surprised that you ever turn up here at all. Please go, with my blessings. Don’t trouble yourself about me. I’ll just lay here and rest in the peace and quiet which will begin the minute that you are gone."

"Then we are both agreed," Pippin said. "I hope you are very happy here on this river bank all by yourself because I fear that you will miss me when I am gone."

"At this rate, I will never get to find out, will I?" Merry said, draping an arm over his still-closed eyes.

Pippin glared down at him in frustration. Why was it that of all of the hobbits in the Shire he had decided to become attached to this one? He had plenty of other cousins and some of them were actually nice to him. Some of them were closer to his age. Certainly, all of them were easier to manage and to make do what he enjoyed doing. Why was it that he seemed to want to go everywhere that Merry went? What was so special about Meriadoc Brandybuck anyway?

He wasn’t always friendly. He had a very bad temper when angered. He always decided what they did and when they did it. He had to be in charge of everything. Merry teased him dreadfully about everything. But, still, Merry was incredibly good at everything and he had the best ideas. Merry was funny and he did keep the older lads from teasing him. When he was with Merry, no one dared to pick on him. Merry also took him places that he wasn’t allowed to go on his own like pubs and out on the Brandywine. It wasn’t all bad.

In fact, it was all quite wonderful most of the time and it was very exciting. The other lads his age were jealous because Merry would take him places with the older lads. Merry treated him like one of the older lads sometimes. Merry talked to him about important things like lasses and secret plans. Merry would occasionally ask him what he thought about important things. Sometimes he would laugh at the answers but other times he would pay attention.

"Are you planning to stand there in the sun all afternoon surrounded by discarded apple-cores and stare at me?" Merry asked. His eyes were closed but he always knew what Pippin was doing without looking. It was one of the more annoying things about Merry. "I thought you’d have gone off to one of those many places where they will welcome you with open arms by now."

Pippin continued to glare at him. He twisted his toe in the sweet-smelling grass but said nothing.

"Why somewhere in the Shire there are hundreds of lonely hobbits awaiting your arrival," Merry said, dramatically. "In fact, if I listen very closely I can hear them asking each other, ‘Where is that scrawny, noisy Took-child whose company we enjoy so very much?’" Merry opened one eye a crack and looked over at Pippin who now had his arms folded over his chest and was rolling his green eyes as Merry spoke. "Right now they are saying, ‘Why is Pippin wasting his time on the very charming Meriadoc Brandybuck when he could be here with us and be bored to tears by our dullness?’"

Pippin was trying hard not to laugh. He was biting the insides of his cheeks and looking out at the Brandywine but Merry was getting to him.

"Oh, whatever shall we do? Why that Brandybuck lad is just too interesting and too wonderful for Pippin to ever leave his side for even a single minute and come and chatter endlessly to us until our ears bleed," Merry said, in a high, mournful tone. As he peeked again at his younger cousin, he could see that Pippin was fighting laughter and was nearly doubled over with the effort so he continued. "Drat, that amazingly handsome Meriadoc Brandybuck! Who does he think that he is, monopolizing all of whiney little Peregrin Took’s time? Why doesn’t he give some of us poor twits a chance to be annoyed by that little squirt?"

Pippin snorted and fought for control. "I don’t whine," he snickered, helplessly.

"No, you don’t or I wouldn’t waste any of my valuable time on you," Merry smiled, opening both eyes now and watching as Pippin sank to his knees in a fit of laughter.

"I can’t stand anything about you. You know that don’t you?" Pippin choked.

"You worship me and wish you were half the hobbit that I am," Merry said. "So does half the Shire so it’s no surprise really." Merry put his arms behind his head and sighed, looking at the sky.

Pippin crawled over and dropped on his stomach next to Merry and asked, "What does the other half of the Shire wish?"

"Why that’s easy, Pippin lad," Merry said. "They wish they were you so they could spend so much time enjoying my company." Merry grinned over at Pippin with a twinkle in his eyes. "But, sadly, they aren’t you and most of them bore me to tears. You are the least boring hobbit that I know."

Pippin grinned back. "I am?"

"No, I just made that bit up to make you feel better," Merry said, smugly.

"Give it up, Merry," Pippin said, smiling widely. "I’m your best friend and you know it!"

"Such delusions of self-importance in one so young," Merry sighed. "I guess I’ll have to let you hang around me for your own safety. You’re a bit touched and might get into trouble on your own."

"So I shall have to stay here and get into trouble with you?" Pippin asked.

"Yes, you do, because you are my best friend." Merry whispered softly, closing his eyes.

"What?" Pippin demanded, sitting up. "What did you say? Merry?" But it was no use as Merry was now pretending to snore so Pippin gave up and lay down on the grass, smiling. There was no one in all of the Shire like Merry.