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Summary: There are some things that you feel in the heart that is right to do.
“I don’t know how long we shall take to – to finish. … But Samwise Gamgee, my dear friend—indeed, Sam my dearest hobbit, friend of friends—I do not think we need give thought to what comes later that. To do the job as you put it—what hope is there that we ever shall? And if we do, who knows what will come of that?” ~Frodo, The Passage of the Marshes, TTT
Though the tears had already involuntarily streamed from my eyes to my master’s hand, I could do no more than to hold on steadfastly onto his hand and ponder at those words that Frodo had just said.
To not have a ‘there and back” journey had always been on my mind; but did I really go forth to the path of certain death? There was still a slight chance to go back to my Gaffer and to Rosie and her family, wasn’t there? I had clung onto that one thought, slim though it may be that I could see them again against all odds. Poor Rosie—I had thought that we could have something special together---perhaps a future together. But there I was, torn between the master I loved and the hobbit lass that held my heart.
I looked up to see that Frodo was scrutinizing my downcast face critically and he knew that I was upset.
“Dear Sam,” he said as he laid his hand upon my shoulder tenderly. His blue eyes spelled out deep misgivings and regret. “I did not expect you to come with me… but because you had insisted the day the Fellowship had broken, I was too touched and foolish to tell you to do otherwise,” Frodo’s voice drifted and guilt tinted his last words.
“No, master, it ain’t that. I—“
“Say no more, dear Sam… I’ve brought you into quite a pickle and I regret to bring you along,” said Frodo with a grim face. “I would have you follow Merry and Pippin back to the Shire at Rivendell if I had it my way but … you had since the beginning insisted that you come with me so I shan’t had said otherwise, could I?” Frodo put his arm around my shoulder trying to reassure me though I could see that his blue eyes were shadowed looking quite distressed.
“Of course not, master; I would stay with you till the end. I just wish… wish…” I gulped down my tears in order to say my next words, “I dearly wish I had said goodbye to my Gaffer and Rosie and her family—a proper good-bye. But still, sir, we’re still far from the end, and who knows what will come out in the end of our adventure? Who knows that there will not be a ‘there and back journey’ as Bilbo had spoken about in his stories?”
Frodo hesitated before speaking, “Sam—there is only the slightest chance that we would be able to succeed and your thinking of finding a way back to the Shire after going into the Black Land of Mordor just …doesn’t seem likely…” Frodo’s voice drifted, not sure of how to proceed as he looked away. “I’m afraid, Sam, afraid for you and me but can do nothing else but to let you follow me to whatever end. I wish you had told Gaffer and Rosie—but I’m sure they will not let you come with me to certain death if they had known…” Frodo’s voice became softer as if he already felt the added burden of bringing me on his most helpless Quest to a fate that was most uncertain.
“It’s all right Mr. Frodo—it was my decision. It had been my decision to follow you since I had seen the elves back in the Shire; my decision to help you bear this burden in Rivendell. I had already known your decision before you had even told the Fellowship your decision to go into Mordor. But Mr. Frodo--- I…. still… want to… to believe that… it …will be all right at the end…” Tears had threatened to spill from my eyes again, but I knew already that it was too late to turn back. In too deep, for whatever misgivings I had, whatever feelings of regret of leaving my family and Rosie that I had already had become secondary to Mr. Frodo.
“Sam, dear Sam… bless you dearest Sam—let’s rest a bit and continue on our way then, shall we?” Frodo gave me a fierce hug but even without his words and actions, I knew deep down where my duty lay—to stay with my master till the bitter end, at whatever cost.
There were some things that could not be explained-- this was one of them which I had to see it through that the Enemy’s Ring be destroyed no matter what the costs may be. I must see it through no matter how hard the road would continue to be.
Rosie would just have to wait… wait till I come back. And I was sure I would and see that Mr. Frodo come back safely to the Shire too.
It was my duty born out of love.
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