Chapter Fifty-Two: Proud Papa 

Happy birthday, my dear! 80 now! I never fear that we are celebrating in vain for we feel you just as strongly in our hearts as though you are right there with us as I know you are. Mr. Merry came to the Havens with Missus Estella and their lad and Mr. Pippin and Missus Diamond came with their son Faramir who is already quite taken with my Goldilocks and she with him. Rose and I laugh at it because it reminds us of how we were at such an age.

Elanor came with Fastred of Greenholm. He has been courting her for more than a year now and a finer hobbit for my lass you cannot find. Rose and I keep waiting for him to ask for her. That he will we don’t doubt, but you know very well, dear, how long it took me to ask for my Rose, so we are content to watch them be so happy together and find their own way in their own time. I wish you could see her now, lovelier than ever and shining almost as brightly as you used to and I’m sure still do. I think sometimes she feels your presence too or at least dreams of you sometimes. She can’t remember you with anything but her heart, but she does know you loved her and held her and sang to her and she owes her name to you.

I think my Frodo-lad has an eye on a particular lass - he always dances with the same one at the Free Fair each year - but he has not actually begun to court anyone yet, though many of the lasses have wished they would be the one! But he’s not even of age yet and is much more fond of being with his brothers and friends than eyeing the lasses, except this one! And he loves to read, just like you did and I hope still do. He’s got his own favorite spot to, yours actually, and many a summer afternoon he can be found there, sometimes just reading alone, even out loud. The first time I happened upon him gave me quite a jolt because he’s got your dark head and when I saw him and heard his voice speaking, I almost thought it was you. I just stopped dead and listened. He has your name and has so much in common with you, but he is also very much his own hobbit and it has been a joy to watch him grow as it has been for each of my little ones. He found your place on his own, years ago, and told me then that he considered it “the perfect place to read and dream.” I told him that it had been your place and that you had described it to me when you first showed it to me in the exact same words. He was quite pleased to hear that for he does adore you. Sometimes he will read to his brothers and sisters and help act out the adventures therein just like we and Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin used to do. He often takes your role when they act out from the Red Book which he has long ago memorized and can quote entire passages from memory at any given moment. But he can’t always be you since my Merry and Pippin want to be sometimes too, though they are often content enough to be their heroic namesakes. Watching them with their beloved uncles acting out what we and Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin went through is a joy. They can do it from the safety of the Shire and I think for them it is not quite real, just a grand adventure. Oh, the hours they can keep at it just like we used to do!

And my lasses always want to be involved too. They are growing more beautiful by the day and Rose and I are fit to burst with pride. Where did all these blessings come from? Time is going by so fast. I can’t keep up with it. It’s been already twenty-seven years since you left! Years that started out in pain have so full of joy that I am fit to burst from it all. Who could have imagined it all when we were sitting there on the mountain with the fire all around us, just waiting to die? I still wouldn’t have traded that time for anything, horrible as it was, for all the blessings that have come because of what happened there.

Even with such joy around me, I have not ceased to wish to be with you, my dear, especially on days like this. I know even here you are still with me, that you will never leave me anymore than I could ever leave you, but still I wish I could see you with the eyes in my head instead of just my heart. I see you so clearly there, so bright and beautiful and overflowing with love. I can just about feel your kiss to my brow and your tender voice and the touch of your hand. I don’t know how much it will be until I will see you otherwise, but I have not lost my hope that I will. I don’t think that will ever die.

Sleep well tonight, my dear, wrapped in so many arms. We love you.