Chapter Fifty-Eight: Another Flower in the Family

Frodo-lad married his lass today, dear! We had a huge celebration in the Party Field, just as big as we had for Elanor. I can’t believe it. Two now of my bairns married. Time has gone by so quickly. I dare say my lad could hardly have picked a more beautiful bride either. Her name is Daisy and she’s a Bolger. So now we have another flower added to our family and we could not be happier. We ate and ate and drank and drank and danced and danced and cheered and cheered from early afternoon to long after dark. It was a most joyous day. You should have seen your namesake with his bride. I would say a happier couple there could not be, but you know Rose and I were the same and so was Mr. Pippin and Mr. Merry and their brides and Elanor and her Fastred on their days.   Mr. Pippin’s son, Faramir, is now actively courting my Goldilocks.  I think they are going to be next to wed.  Oh, my dear, what joy fills me!  You should have seen her glowing almost as much as the bride as she danced with her love.

All this is because of what you did, dear. I know when I see you again and you read this, you will perhaps still want to argue that point with me, that none of this is your doing, but it is. I helped you, but you’re the one that bore the burden. It was your sacrifices that made all this possible. What would have happened to us if you had not done what you did? That black land we trudged through would have spread throughout all of Middle-earth. We would have all been slaves or worse. What the Lady’s Mirror showed us would have come true. There would be no Rose or Elanor or Fastred or Frodo-lad and his Daisy or my Daisy or anyone. I hope that maybe you have been convinced of that now. But if you haven’t been, I still am and I still thank you every day when I wake and when I fall asleep. One day, dear, one day, I will be thanking you again in person and if you want to box my ears or give me a good talking to, I will gladly endure anything because I will be with you again. I will see your smile and your love and hear your laugh and your lovely voice and feel you hold me again. I don’t know why but I imagine we will be like lads again, off on our own adventures just like we were before any of this happened. We will be young and innocent again and no shadow of the past will fall upon us. We will have made it through to the other side, back to where we were before we even heard of the Ring. I know that doesn’t make sense. I can see you reading this and laughing in that sweet, wonderful way of yours, pulling me close and kissing my head and calling me your dear Sam. Well, sense or not, that’s how I picture it. The Elves always had a sort of timelessness about them, they who have seen more time than anyone, and that’s how I picture you now. Eternally young, bright, shining and beautiful. I think often of what your life must be like and I know I can’t truly even imagine it, but that don’t keep me from trying. I do know it must be that wonderful from all the joy I feel in my heart.

Goodnight, dear. Sleep well. I think I surely will because I am just that ready to fall over. I’m getting old for all this celebrating, though it does make me feel young again at the same time. I love you.

* * *

Oh, Sam! I felt another outpouring of joy today from you and guessed at its source. I have become quite adept at discerning the different shades of your joys and sorrows or so I think to myself. And this felt like you did at Elanor’s wedding. So is that what happened today? Who was it this time? Frodo-lad? I felt his song surge especially strong and the first strings of another that I hadn’t been aware of before. Congratulations! I am so happy for you both. And this means I’ll be a great-uncle again soon! I so wish I could have been there, but I hope you felt my joy in your heart.

I think Gandalf is aware of your happiness too, as I have seen him many times with a soft smile on his face and a deep joy and peace inside of him. Every time I rush to tell him that I am an uncle again or other such glorious news, he looks down at me with that light within him and that tender, loving smile and look in his eyes that tells me that he already knows. He looked at me again like that today so I know he knows all about you and I would dare say all about Merry and Pippin too. I heard him muttering fondly about that ‘fool of a Took’ just the other day. We spend much time together, just walking through the woods and meadows, wading through streams. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes he holds my hand and I feel almost like I do when I’m feeling especially close to Iluvatar, that I’m safe and loved and protected and cherished beyond all ability to describe it. I know I am getting older day by day, but I am feeling younger too all the time. I am an adult, but I have the energy and innocence and joy of a child. I have passed through the deepest, blackest night and come into the sunshine, filled with light and the darkness has no purchase in me, barely even in my memories. There is so much here I want to share with you, so many adventures to have just like we used to when we were just lads. I just hope when you come, my Sam, you can keep up with me! But I will pace myself to keep up with you until you come to know how even the very air energizes you and fills you with Iluvatar’s peace and joy. I realize this doesn’t make any sense now, but just wait, my heart, until you come!

Our dear wizard helps me sometimes with the garden and we enjoy many an evening having a pipe together. He is so much more than just a wizard, but I still haven’t entirely figured out exactly what so it’s easier just to keep calling him what I do, especially since I think it amuses him to exasperate me when he’s just as obtuse as ever about answering things even when I ask him flat out. All we do together, even that, reminds me so much of all we did in the Shire that I almost feel at times that we are still in it.

I’ve come to make the smial here resemble Bag End as much as I can, though still delightfully Elvish as well. I couldn’t do that for a long time when the memories were too painful and I couldn’t bear any resemblance to the life I had left behind. But as time went by and I healed, I have brought around me as many reminders of the Shire as I can and find they bring me deep joy and peace now. I’m doing it for you, too, my heart, because you will always be part of the Shire and you will be here with your Elves. The best of both worlds! I am so anxious for you to come, but I tell myself that I must be patient. So I rejoice for you today and everyday, for your simple, joyful existence and all the joy you have brought to me and your family. Thank you, thank you, thank you, dearest brother mine, for all that you ever did for me and continue to do for me, all the cheer and love you have filled my life with to this very moment. I love you so. I can’t wait until I can see you again. And I know Gandalf is looking forward to it too.