Chapter Sixty-Four: The Last Ship

You’re 112 today, dear! I looked for a long time at the ship I will take to you. It’s the only one left in the harbor. Many of the other Elves have already left. It appears to be just waiting for me, but I know there are others that will be abroad too. Mr. Cirdan assures me with that soft smile and nod of his it will not leave without me. I wish I could go back to Rivendell or the Golden Wood, but it’s too late. I got up enough courage to ask one of the Elves about it once, but those wondrous lands been emptied, I was told. I was that sad to hear about that, as though there was so much brightness fading from the world that will never return, some of the same brightness that faded when you left and took your light with you and the Lady left and Mr. Gandalf and Lord Elrond. So much light gone from the world, but still the sun shines and my heart is happy within for the light having once been there, theirs and yours and knowing that somewhere it is still shining and always will be.

I don’t think it will be long now. Rose and the children and grandchildren threw a huge party for me back on my birthday, my 100^th! It was a glorious day. I treasured the entire time, though I was a little embarrassed by it all too. But everyone was there and it was just that wonderful. I have a feeling it’ll be one of the last I’ll celebrate in the Shire. My heart is increasingly hearing the voice of the Sea and it is pulling me ever onward. It is hard to leave the Havens now as I feel the Shire is no longer my home, but my home is out there somewhere over the water, wherever you are. Rose understands and the children have prepared themselves for years for this. They have always known one day I would leave to fulfill that vow I made that I would follow you when the time came. How many years have passed since then! I never thought it would be this long. Sometimes I feel it’s a mercy that time had flown by so quickly, other times I have grieved that it has, that you’ve missed so much here and I’ve missed so much of your life. Over half of it now gone on without me and the hole in my heart that had been made so long ago when you left, that healed so long ago, is open again. It’s only going to be healed this time by seeing you and holding you again.

Goodnight, dear. It won’t be long until I will be saying to you instead of writing it in a book. Sleep well. I love you.